So we "Pures" have an odd Christmas tradition y' see.
We tend to spend Christmas in the sun as a "nuclear" family since our folks passed on, so we have "Christmas day", i.e. Turkey, gifts and friends to call round on a weekend before we leave.

This was on Saturday , just gone.

Kids got us up too early, and they were spoiled by too many gifts from kind people as usual, but I soon got over this regular sulk ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> (Kids are kind and grateful, so not really spoiled thank goodness) !

Squid bought me very caring thoughtful gifts. She seemed to like hers from me too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

"Christmas lunch" was a great success, with Squid, DS10 and myself enjoying a great dinner with bacon-roasted turkey, sesame & ham brussel-sprouts, and all the other clever extras Squid does so well. DD14 is a veggie so she ate all the stuff that had no meat in plus Quorn steak. Her loss ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> The bottle of Prosecco added to the fun too ! ( yes I even dare wine from time to time again now, for those who recall my "off roading" incident!;) )

After lunch I took my border collie for a bracing after lunch winter walk to shake the food down a tad, then readied the house for visitors with Squid.

Friends and relatives came over, we talked and laughed and sang.

Went to bed very pooped, but managed giggly, sleepy SF <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sunday was relaxing, we had a carol service at 4 pm so had a lazy day tidying up the house ready for our vacation.

LOVELY carol service : tears and smiles and prayers all round.

Today, winding down my work and preparing the documentation for our holiday. Squid just came up to my attic-office with a kiss and a cup of coffee - very welcome !

We'll start packing soon and be ready for an early start Tuesday when we fly to Florida.

"SO...Bob...why this boring update on normal family life ?" you ask.

Because thats what it is : normal family life. Not "recovery", not triggering, not "processing", , not loving detachment, not plan A'ing... Just ordinary loving family life.

Not so very long ago I could not even IMAGINE having such a normal loving Christmas so very far from infidelity, hurt and hopelessness.

While my aspirations are for greater heights of marital greatness than we currently have, I can't describe what a blessing "normal" loving family life is after all our experiences.

Squid loves me very much. I love her. Our kids are blessed to have us as parents. We had a virtual Christmas without a shred of "a"- staining.

For those of you wrestling the affair demon right now please take heart - my situation was pretty horrible, yet with the right stuff, and a little luck you can be sharing a kiss with your baby wearing a paper crown of your own , pretty soon.

Never NEVER give up out of hopelessness, only because you choose to.

I pray a blessing on ALL earnest marrige-builders this Christmas that you may all know the incomparable joy of an "ordinary" family Christmas like ours.

Thank you Harleys. Thank you God. Amen.

Thank you for sharing, Bob.

Ace

HI Bob

Isn't normal just great? well as normal as it ever is around our place <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I do so wish you a very merry Christmas and pray your wish comes true for both of you.

I have MY present and I am both happy and content, as well as excited.

God bless you are one of our own merry gentlemen!!

AW (Aussie says Gday you old B*****D LOL ) I don't know what he means.. obviously MALE humour <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Blast it, AW, your poem made me cry. I'm so glad for you.

And Merry Christmas, Bob...

t&l

Thanks Bob,

This is great and just what I needed. As this Christmas is a real struggle for me right now. This post reminds me of why I am doing everything I can to help our family stay together. It does seem hopeless at times but I can always find inspiration here.

Thanks for posting!

Merry Christmas and God Bless you and your wonderful fmaily.

Take care,
FT

Outstanding BP!

I think this should be mandatory reading for everyone who is feeling lost in the infidelity maze right now.

This is why we bother...

To be normal again!

Mark

Thank you, Bob, for perhaps the most wonderful post I have read in a long time!

CHEERS!

NOW <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Boring is good, Bob. Merry Christmas to you!

What the heck happened to "Boxing Day" in the UK? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Merry Christmas to you and your family Bob,

You really deserve it. You, BigKahuna and others on here look to have given me the greatest Christmas gift ever, and that will be waking up next to MrsBrae and in the same house as DD on Christmas morning.

God bless and thanks again

Brae

"Ordinary" = Heaven.

Great post! Thanks Bob. Very inspiring.

i would say that healthy
PERSPECTIVE
is about the best gift you could give any of us this year.

..thanks..

Thank you Bob it is perfect timing to help all of us who aren't quite 'there' yet. This is so hopeful! Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Thank you Bob.

Merry Christmas to you and yours Bob! From Silentlucidity and family, striving for 'normalcy'. Oh what I would give for a coffee and kiss. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Merry Christmas Bob... thank you for a wonderful and encouraging post. I know it hit home for a lot of us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for sharing this with us. Yes, ordinary is good. I just realised it as I was talking to friends and hear them complain about their spouses little irritating habits like not lifting the toilet seat or capping back the toothpaste tube. Ordinary is bliss. How I wish those little irritating (but sometimes endearing) habits are all I had to complain about my WH. So, yes, I'll be looking forward to my own 'ordinary' days... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for that post, Bob. Great stuff.

Bob, your post touched me so much, knowing your whole story, watching you go thru all the steps. mostly i recalled this phase:

"Not so very long ago I could not even IMAGINE having such a normal loving Christmas so very far from infidelity, hurt and hopelessness."

i am so glad you are normal Bob.

Happy Holidays.

That made me laugh, FL. It reminds me of that game we used to play in college, "Bob". We'd watch the Bob Newhart show and everytime anyone on the show said "Bob" we'd have to do a shot.

Do you know the one, FL? LOL Probably not. We are probably the only idiots that played that dumb game. The things you think are fun when you are 20, hey? Now I'd be sick for two weeks, or hospitalized. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'm glad your normal too, Bob. Heck, the whole danged family is normal. How cool is that!

I'll think of you all when we touch down in FL this weekend. Hope we have as good weather as you are probably going to see in Key West! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Bob,

Amen brother. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Merry Christmas to you and yours and a very Happy Boring New Year.

My dear wife gave me the Alison Krause/Robert Plant CD, RAISING SAND for my Bday last week. (Speaking of Led Zep!) Very hauntingly beautiful blend of their voices.

GOD BLESS US EVERY ONE!

kirk

Merry Christmas Mr Pure and best wishes for continued happiness in 2008. TT

Happy Holidays to you, Bob, from me and want2stay! You were the poster we read the most frequently b4 I really dug in and started MB-ing, so to speak. I am so glad you have found your peace and happiness. All the best in the New Year!

A VERY MERRY (belated? LOL) CHIRSTMAS to you too BP!

Very happy to see how happy and normal your life is now.

Congratualtions!

Kirk,

I bought that CD last weekend, as I had a five hour drive home and wanted something new. I just wrote my take on it over at the campfire but wanted to make sure you saw this.

AWESOME voices. I absalutely loved a few of the songs and could do without at least one of them. It's very different though, that's for sure.

From the campfire:

Oh, and that reminds me I have to go find Krusht about that Plant/Kraus CD, I read he got it as a gift.

I can't stand the first song on that CD for even three seconds but oh my gosh the second one (I think it's called Losing the Blues) gives me chills. Alison has got to have the most beautifully angelic voice in the world.

And then that one called "Through the Night, Through the Morning' Wow. It would dig down, find and purge the tears of the driest of eyes.

The last song, "The Long Journey Home" really made me cry because it is a funeral song, and it is the only Blue Grass song on the CD, but man oh man, is it pretty.

JJ,

"I can't stand the first song on that CD for even three seconds"

WWHHHAAAAT!! You don't like the first song?? One of the few up tempo tunes on the entire CD?

"She's got the money and I got the honey"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I agree with you on everything else. I think "The Long Journey Home" should be sung at all funerals.

And "Through the Night, Through the Morning" made me flash onto the MB folks.

So what happened to your "Weaver" handle?

kirk

I just wanted to leave the past in the past. I have a new life now, and can hardly stand that handle. Funny thing is, everywhere I go, there I am. Changing ones name doesn't work the way I thought it would. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> And some people on here simply refuse to call me Josey! I'll change it back to weaver probably.

WAT put on a thread recently that this is very much part of recovery, yet there comes a time when you can't be truly recovered and still be here.

I don't know. Probably have to leave altogether to leave the past where it belongs.

For me, I still have a lot to give back. I haven't helped yet nearly as much as I have been helped by the folks here.

JJ,

"WAT put on a thread recently"

WAT has been back on the boards?? Where? When?

I thought he was long gone.

kirk

He gave a brief update on K's "heartpain" thread.

Bumping cuz this is a wonderful thread.