I'm going 2 try 2 convince myself 2 post a final FANFARE EXIT THREAD.
This will be my 'first' installment.
I'm also going 2 whine and complain about some stuff - particularly the silliness and meanness I perceive, from my point of view, that I assume is going on here, in hopes that my point of view, and how I state and mean what I state, might have a small positive influence on some of the feedback I get and then interpret 2 the best of my abilities (seeking hopefully 2 better understand the posters, rather than tell them what I think they think).
That kind of thing.
But I just noticed it's lunch time. I'm going 2 shove some food.
Of course they were talking about helll(Hotel california!). . <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> This only seems that way sometimes.
2long, seems some rampant out of control feminism has taken over this site. When a great number of posters support all women, no matter what, there is a problem.
Yes, radical feminists, that would go for men, too.
Kinda like someone who hated GM after that NBC truck blowup escapade. Wonder if those people ever felt bad when it was discovered NBC lied. Nah, they probably still watch NBC and believe the biased editorializing.
"A man does an illegal right turn on red. State trooper pulls him over and the man is trying to think up an excuse. Officer said "it's illegal to turn right on red here." Before the man can speak... the woman in the seat next to him blurts out "Officer, he does this all the time." Officer looks in the car, and asks man, "Is this your wife?" The man said,"Yes." The officer said, "You have enough problems", and walks back to his car."
Woman driving through Montana stops at a dusty crossroads town for gas. Walks across the street to the local bar/sandwich place while they service her car (a Volvo, I think). Inside she sees a dusty, bowlegged, middle aged guy in jeans, cowboy boots and a beat up cowboy hat, quietly slouched over his beer, sitting at the bar.
She asks him, "are you a real cowboy?"
he thinks a minute, then sys, "I spend my time on the prairie, ride horses all day, check fences, herd cows. Yep, I guess I'm a real cowboy."
She replies, "Im a lesbian. I think about girls all the time, from morning till night."
later a guy in a sexy new roadster, stops for gas, and also goes into the bar for some refreshment & sees the same cowboy sitting there.
He asks the same question, "Are you a real cowboy?"
The cowboy responds, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
YIPPEE!!! A joke thread. Was wonderin' when 1 of these would show up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Here's my contribution (someone sent it to me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ):
The Difference between Slow Down and Stop - - - IN HAWAII
A tourist in a rental car runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by HPD on a side street in Kahala. The tourist thinks that since he is a high priced lawyer from LA that he is smarter than the police officer and is certain that he has a better education then any cop in Hawaii.
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the police officer's expense!!
Officer Fa'atai says," License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Officer Fa'atai says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Officer Fa'atai says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Officer Fa'atai says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Officer Fa'atai says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir." and the Lawyer does.
The officer takes out his nightstick and starts beating the 'crap' out of the lawyer and says, "So wot, brah, you want me stop,or just slow down?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Cop pulls over a teenaged boy driving well over the speed limit. When safely park at the roadside, the cop saunters up to the driver's side window and says "I've been looking for you all day".
The teenager replies "well, I got here as fast as I could".
Apparently the cop was so astounded and amused by the response, he couldn't give the kid a ticket, and let him go!
An Australian soldier serving in Afghanistan feeling alone and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
A creative bloke, he went out and collected from his mates all the spare well thumbed over photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
"Dear Mary, I can not remember which one is you ... please keep YOUR photo and return the others!"
hp is not feeling well and goes to the doctor. The doctor examines him and gives him the diagnosis. hp is shocked and concerned. He says to the doctor, "No offense, doc, but I'm going to get a second opinion". Doctor says, "That's fine, son, but the autopsy will prove me correct.".
I took the liberty of examining this bird once I got 'em home.. only to discover that the only reason he had been sitting on the perch in the first place...
Mrs 2long accompanied her husband 2 the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife in2 his office alone. He said, "2long is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love 2 him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months 2 a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, 2long asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
Jamesus...that is basically the ONLY Monty Python skit I remember well...well, he's easy to clean up after, what? Thanks for bringing that one to mind...
Seven more posts to go, 2Long...seven more posts to go...you write one down, pass it around...six more posts to go, 2Long!
"This place is a mess! C'mon, You and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and if we don't do laundry right now you'll have no clothes to wear."
What a Man Hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES.
"The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat." - Albert Einstein.
THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST THREAD I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!
thanks for that 2long.
my favorite: freetobeme's what a woman says, what a man hears
next in line, the story of the teenager speeding and not getting a ticket "i got here as fast as i could"
but mostly i laughed because of the "10042" currently on 2longs name!!! it actually took me a while to realize this thread was over a week ago.
what i was most thankful for was not the laughs but the thread i found next, i had to see where 2long posted after this one (of course i had to find out what he was up to next!!)
it was Heartpain and New Beginning what an EXCELLENT thread that was. more than just a good read, a wake up call for the board maybe?? at least for me. i want to help this board be as excellent as it was when i first started posting.
where would i be if it was not the way it was back then??
i need to keep that thought in mind every time i post now.
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...followed by Churchill's response:
......"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
And maybe 2long can explain this one. In the movie Independence Day there is a scene where a huge wave of alien fighter craft sweep down on a defenseless desert airstrip with several exposed F16’s, a Herci-Bird and support vehicles. And all they shoot at are jeeps!
Come on! They can make force shield protected interstellar spaceships 15 miles across capable of static anti-gravitational hovering and they are afraid of jeeps? How stupid are they?
No wonder they got their butts (did they have butts?) kicked.
My Favorite Martian was my favorite TV show for a time when I was a child. I even sent him a letter for advice on building a rocket ship out of a garbage can or something like that...silly me.
I also liked your other links....the one of the email forwards is a good one...I hate all forwards that include the order to forward to 10 20 or whatever others...I very seldom forward...forwards...
What do you think of those UFO's?...I thought of asking your opinion about that this week too...
"Remember when you ran away And I got on my knees And begged you not to leave Because I'd go berserk? Well. . .
You left me anyhow And then the days got worse and worse And now you see I've gone Completely out of my mind And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time And I'll be happy to see Those nice, young men In their clean, white coats And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
You thought it was a joke And so you laughed You laughed when I had said That losing you would make me flip my lid Right. . .
You know you laughed, I heard you laugh You laughed, you laughed and laughed And then you left But now you know I'm utterly mad! And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA To the happy home With trees and flowers and chirping birds And basket weavers who sit and smile And twiddle their thumbs and toes And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
I cooked your food I cleaned your house And this is how you pay me back For all my kind, unselfish loving deeds?!! Hah. . .
Well you just wait They'll find you yet And when they do they'll Put you in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt! And. . .
They're coming to take me away, HA HA They're coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time And I'll be happy to see Those nice, young men In their clean, white coats And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
To the happy home With trees and flowers and chirping birds And basket weavers who sit and smile And twiddle their thumbs and toes And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
To the funny farm Where life is beautiful all the time And I'll be happy to see Those nice, young men In their clean, white coats And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!"
-Jerry Samuels, "They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Haaa!"
I am sure I can speak for everyone else and say we love you too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Well, I know I do...in a platonic kind of way, of course.
Reminds me of a birthday dinner at a mexican restaurant many moons ago (I've had a lot of birthdays). They had a fiddle trio come around 2 play for us, and they asked me what I'd like 2 hear, so I said "Stairway 2 Heaven?" ...but they didn't know that one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Oh Pep, that was great! I saved it to my favorites and I am going to make everyone sit down crossed legged on the floor during break and have a calming experience. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
2long,
We were at our hippie friends' house a few weekends ago and he got out his claw N hammer (or is it hammerclaw? round with no back) fiddle and played Paint it Black for me. It was the coolest thing, and of course he always has his coveralls on when he plays his fiddles.
After that he offered to make us some tea out of some kind of plant that may or may or not have been legal...LOL we settled for the cowboy coffee with goats milk, as usual. He's my favorite of hubbies friends so far...just don't get him start on the Christians...man, don't do it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Anyway for your Thursday morning Stairway to Heaven listening pleasure.
They had a fiddle trio come around 2 play for us, and they asked me what I'd like 2 hear, so I said "Stairway 2 Heaven?" ...but they didn't know that one.
Were people in the 50's really that sweet, innocent and easily amused? With their clean cut hair, short-sleeved white, button down shirts, and cute poodle skirts?
I so want to be back in the 50's... have the girls over for afternoon Bridge and finger sandwiches.
I want Andy Griffith to be our local sheriff and Aunt Bea to be my doting aunt.
Man, I am so amazed. Where the heck is Ark. She's not too proud to be as totally and completely amazed as I am.
I knew I should have been shoving a guitar in that kid of mines hands, instead of the stupid rattle and light up Pajama Barnie. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
LOL.. oh yeah, the kid with the guitar is simply amazing.. theres another couple of kid virtuoso's out there.. I'm sure could be found on YouTube with minimal effort <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Hey !! I hope you are doing really well. It's good to see you around. P is just fine? The two of you are also?
2long, How's it going? Any change on the home front? The house finished? The rest of the family doing well? Work still exciting?
SS
SS,
GB, P and I are doing so well, we're practically illegal! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I gave you an update on P awhile ago, but you must have missed. She is doing the best she has done since before the whole custody thing. In fact, straight A's and student of the month all in the first semester. What a load off my mind.
Take it, 2long! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Were people in the 50's really that sweet, innocent and easily amused? With their clean cut hair, short-sleeved white, button down shirts, and cute poodle skirts?
I so want to be back in the 50's... have the girls over for afternoon Bridge and finger sandwiches.
I want Andy Griffith to be our local sheriff and Aunt Bea to be my doting aunt.
I want to sell Tupperware.
LOL! Josie!
You want to live in Pleasantville!!! I wouldn't mind visiting but I don't know about permanent residency!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
You want to live in Pleasantville!!! I wouldn't mind visiting but I don't know about permanent residency!!
No, just visit. I do enjoy the occasional cuss word every now and then. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
PS, I hope you are doing well, Charlotte. I know this has been such a hard time for you. You sure do have a great personality though, so for this reason I know you are going to have a GREAT life, no matter what!
SS, I'm glad we found each other, too. Although marriage has been a little different for us both...I think we are really going to make. We seem to have started to adjust!
I hope you and your whole family is well, too! Well, better than well, fantastic!
No, just visit. I do enjoy the occasional cuss word every now and then.
PS, I hope you are doing well, Charlotte. I know this has been such a hard time for you. You sure do have a great personality though, so for this reason I know you are going to have a GREAT life, no matter what!
LOL! and Thank You, Josie!!!
It has been hard but it's been getting so much easier every day. I never thought I would get here. Never. I thought my life was over. Geez, isn't that silly? All of that noise over an alien? Well, maybe one day I will thank him for being such a fool. Who knows? LOL!
My sister and I were just going through papers and photos we saved of my dad's, and I found this 3x5 card with a music reference for my mom that had a poem my dad wrote on it. He used 2 doodle a lot, 2, but there weren't any on this card.
"If you go slow The grass will grow In little green rows Between your toes.
If you go fast In a rocket blast Your future will Be part of your past."
2, I'm glad you get to know your dad a little better. It's one of the ties that bind us to another generation, but somehow it seems to bind us to ourselves too.
Thank you, SS. A vote of confidence from you is ALWAYS welcome!
Heck, you were in our corner from the getgo.
So was 2long.
And it's been a wild ride for sure.
I'm slowly learning to trust, and to be open...but it is taking some time. He thinks I am still a little more guarded than is necessary. I think even in marriage you have to take it slow. There is nothing to hurry for anyway.
Every single day is an adventure and yet at the same time it's like a warm, comfy blanket.
An exciting trip out to sea, and a safe, sheltering harbour when life gets too crazy.
Make sense? That's what marriage is supposed to be like, I think.
I'm slowly learning to trust, and to be open...but it is taking some time. He thinks I am still a little more guarded than is necessary. I think even in marriage you have to take it slow. There is nothing to hurry for anyway.
Every single day is an adventure and yet at the same time it's like a warm, comfy blanket.
An exciting trip out to sea, and a safe, sheltering harbour when life gets too crazy.
Make sense? That's what marriage is supposed to be like, I think.
I think you nailed it. A great marriage is both exciting AND safe. Some have one, or the other, and think they ought to be happy. I believe you need both. FYI, we sometimes have bad days too. It's because neither of us are perfect yet. We're working on it though, and it gets better, and better..........
I just got back from dinner with WAT and his spousal unit!
So Cute!!!
...and his W is pretty good looking 2!
We had Thai food. Pretty funny, ac2ally. The menu had 0-3 peppers by the name of the dish, depending on hoti2de. Na2rally, I ordered the 3=pepper dish, WAT ordered 2, and his W ordered 1.
You guessed it, her's was the hottest, followed by WAT's, then mine! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
While at my sister's, we decided 2 go ahead and buy a scanner 2 scan some of the old slides and negatives she had from my dad's stuff. I was amazed at how well the scanner did at bringing out old detail in small (my dad had an old Agfa half=frame 35mm camera that I still have somewhere) slides.
In one, when it popped up on the screen, there was my mom (after the wedding, when she must have been about 25 yrs old, and some elderly lady in the background that must have been her grandmother! I'd never seen pictures of my great grandmother before, and this one's in color!
Also while at my sister's, we saw a couple of plays at the Blackfriar's theater in Staunton. If anybody lives within a 2ple hours of it, I strongly urge coming down for a play. it was very cool. They're even more picky about authenticity than the Cedar City folks, SS! (though we enjoy them as well).
I kept hoping it would snow while I was there, it was sure cold enough. But it waited until I left! Light, late this afternoon!
Blackfriar's isn't as crowded as I remember the Globe in Cedar being last time we went. But one of the shows was part of a rehearsal by my sister's classmates. Open 2 the public, but not advertised as much as the regular shows.
Yep, I'm doing well. WAT seems 2 be doing fabulously, and I think has managed 2 convince me that I need 2 stop coming here in order 2 take my recovery 2 the next, glorious level.
I was just congra2lating myself at not having posted here in 4 days, but then I felt compelled 2 post on wrk's thread, because his sitch is so similar 2 one here about 6 years back that I thought he should be aware of. So I posted 2 him as Q, but that's still posting.
So, I reset my "clock" and will now go away again, 2 see if I can make it stick this time! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I'll be sure and email you next time I can stop by on my way 2 OOSP for a chat or lunch or something.
So, I reset my "clock" and will now go away again, 2 see if I can make it stick this time! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Goodbye and the best of luck 2 you 2L...It's probably a decision for the best and one I should emulate. Participation here *can* reduce one's chances of having a full life, at least once recovered(assuming you haven't taken on therapy as an occupation or hobby). Besides after we're gone, ***edit****a chance to start a party/celebration thread. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> He wants the "oldtimers" gone, at least we can make him happy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Maybe we can all get together for a "New Horizons" party on 14 July 2015!