Hello all:

After 2 years of denial, I think maybe I might be making progress. My husband claims that his "very close, dear friend" at work was NOT having an emotional affair with him. I might add that she is a 35 year old divorcee who just thought the WORLD of my husband.

I know there is there a link to a list of signs to look out for. Any information on the destructiveness EA's would be helpful too.

I mean- there has been no "traditional affair" - he'd NEVER do that- <wink>- but I have kept reading this site for two years because things just SOUNDED right- for some reason:

A#1. He kept saying things like: "I have built a WALL around my heart." Just hurtful things that you can't defend yourself against.

#2. I have learned that BS often blame you for things they are guilty of. He has acused me of workplace connections.

How many people start EA's without realizing what they are doing?

I would like a link to some more information. I think if he read it from some other source he might be convinced.

What a shame to do this to a decent family...

This is the late Dr Shirley Glass's quiz to determine if there is an emotional affair. It only takes yes to a single question.

The Slippery Slope

In the new crisis of infidelity, platonic friendships and workplace relationships are turning into emotional affairs, usually gradually, often without premeditation. Parties cross boundaries of emotional intimacy, sharing intimate information with a friend that is usually appropriately the exclusive territory of a husband or wife. When emotional boundaries are overstepped, the partner has taken the first step onto the slippery slope leading to emotional and eventually sexual infidelity. Even if the infidelity is "only" emotional, it often leads to a double life of deception and sexuality, threatening once secure marriages.

If you recognize that your friendship or your partner's friendship may be in the danger zone of too much emotional intimacy, use this awareness to address concerns about your marriage. This quiz will help you see where you stand.

Quiz: Has Your Friendship Become an Emotional Affair?*

Directions: Check Yes or No to the left of each statement.

1. Do you confide more to your friend than to your partner about how your day went?

2. Do you discuss negative feelings or intimate details about your marriage with your friend but not with your partner?

3. Are you open with your partner about the extent of your involvement with your friend?

4. Would you feel comfortable if your partner heard your conversation with your friend?

5. Would you feel comfortable if your partner saw a videotape of your meetings?

6. Are you aware of sexual tensions in this friendship?

7. Do you and your friend touch differently when you're alone than in front of others?

8. Are you in love with your friend?