Online Flirting Going Too Far - 04/21/08 09:50 AM
I need some advice here, a few month back I discoverd some nude pictures of my wife on our computer, she had taken them herself and was sending them to guys she was chatting with. She "met" these guys through fling.com. I confronted her about it and she assured me it was "just for fun"and never planned on meeting any of them. We even started using it as a tool to add a spark in the bedroom (after 20 years together things became too routine). I started getting concerned when her buddy lists kept growing and that she was spending more and more time typing away on the computer. I started to read here e-mails from these guys ( I knew I should have trusted her ) they all seemed pretty innocent just chat and sexual comments. Then one day one guy who lived about 20 miles away sent her an e-mail asking here where she was last night he was waiting with a fresh box of rubbers! I freaked out, I told her that I had been reading her e-mails and I was scared. She insisted that she didn't know who the guy was and she even e-mailed his telling him to stop writing her. I continued to read her e-mails again nothing spectacular, until (you guessed it) more e-mails about a possible meeting , I freaked out again, She told me that She knew I was reading her e-mails and she had "set me up". I was upset that she would do that but again I should have trusted her. The "set up e-mail had phone #' a date, time and location for the meeting even though it was a "set up" I wrote it down. The date came and I had almost forgotten about it I got called into work for the afternoon shift and then I was going to work my normal overnight shift, I spoke to her during the afternoon shift and she told me that she was on her way to go her brothers house but he had to work so she was going home this was around 6 p.m. nothing to become suspicious about. I got home about 8 a.m the next day and checked the caller id I noticed my daughter had called my wifes cell phone around 11 p.m. my oldest son was awake and I asked him if mom went out last night he said she went to her brothers house. red flags started going up, I looked at her cell phone and the phone # from the e-mail was on the recent calls list around 7p.m. I left her a note saying we needed to talk when I wake up and tried to go to sleep. Around noon I woke up to a real pissed off look, she said what the f**k did I do now. I told her I wanted the truth and what I knew about last night she didn't deny any of it, she said she met the guy at a resturant and had dinner, I asked her point blank if that was all that happened and she said yes, then I asked her why, her answer was that she was tired of me accusing her and she might as well have done something to be accused of. I expressed my concerns to her, perverts, predators, date rape drugs you get the point,the guy didn't drive 50 miles just to have dinner. We had a long talk and through some tears we worked it out, I hope. I appologized for spying on her and for making her do something she really didn't want to do. I love her more than anything in this world and have never cheated on her, but I continue to feel betrayed. I know she was upset and guilty for doing it because she was sick for 2 days and told her sister in-law about it. How do I regain my trust? Should I still be suspicious or shouls I let it go as a one time thing?