Hey betrayed fellas, (and I guess betrayed ladies too) please don't EVER let yourself cheat for revenge. I've come to the conclusion that is what I did. At first I thought I was ... different (lol?)_Now I think I really did break my heart. I have to get some kind of test where they run something through my body to look at my heart, cardia catherscopy whatever. too bummed to try and spell it right.

I get an EKG each year and this last week I had to get two, both indicate heart attack, treadmill as well indicates something wrong so now I have to take this next test.

I just know it has something to do with me being unfaithful to my wife. I can feel it. My wife loves me and I love her yet we have done so much bad to each other. I just know my heart is broken from it.

Being sober is the only thing I can be proud of right now.

I'm sure retaliating has crossed many BS's minds.

Sometimes I feel that retaliating may not be so much to get "back" at WS, but to get "even". By getting "even" I mean to sink yourself to WS's level. As A BS I know I feel that FWW sunk to a level that I am not at (morality wise). Maybe BS's bringing themselves down to that level think that they can understand the WS better, and can then justify trying to R with someone who they are now "even" with.

And this is HUGE

AC,

I am sure that the stress created by keeping ugly secrets or making unethical choices is quite capable of doing damage to our hearts....and souls. And as your post clearly indicates....not just "emotionally", but even in the physical world.

Without a doubt, I believe that when an otherwise 'good' person gets sucked into the underworld their physical health suffers. My husband had a kidney condition that was under control for 20 yrs. He went off to live with his OW and within two years his kidney function deteriorated so badly he needed to start dialysis.

AgedC - it's a good thing that you are sober. They can do amazing things to sort out heart problems - medication, surgery. Hopefully your problems have been picked up early. Take care. TT

Thanks all. I went in today for the blood work. Still nervous and still sober.

All the crap went on the last three years..I think it just got the best of me. I never wanted to grow up to be a cheating husband when I was a little boy.

well I am going in for a quadruple bypass next monday. I'm 44, guess I just haven't lived the right life. Maybe this will be my new life beginning. I certainly hope so.

(not sure why im even posting this stuff here, but I think my lifestyle...including infidelity put me here in the first place)