Marriage Builders
Posted By: voivod reconciliation advice, hope? - 08/05/08 06:34 PM
ok, so my story's been dissected here due to my inability to explain the timeline, i apologize. now pleeze, hopeful & helpful observations...
my wife moved out june 20th.

since that time, i've been seeing counselor.

also read Gary Smalley. i'm a huge proponent of "honoring the wife"

also attending aa and sober since may 19th.

my wife has not filed any legal action.

there are no affairs in our past or present.

no physical abuse.

she has stated i have been controlling, irresponsable with money, disrespectful, that i used her to prop up my own self esteem. there is truth in all those points.

since the separation she has kept me in her life with constant invites to "do things together" including social events (most recent a fund raiser for ronald mcdonald house) movies at the theater, dinner &dvd in home dates (at her apt.) and last night she called to ask if i'd help her asst. coach my sons fall sports team that she is the head coach of.

also (understand words mean a lot to wy wife) last night she uttered this phrase on the cell phone as i was bringing dinner:
"ok hon, i'll see you when you get home."

this stuff feels good to me, obvioudsly, but anyone with experience from either side, please give some input. what are the chances she'll give me a chance???
Posted By: introvert Re: reconciliation advice, hope? - 08/05/08 06:39 PM
I can't speak for everyone here, but I did read your other post and didn't reply, because there is nothing for me to reply to.

You need to ask your wife.
Posted By: lake53 Re: reconciliation advice, hope? - 08/05/08 06:42 PM
I don't think your story has been disected on your other threads. I just think we have the right to know if you and your current wife were involved in an emotional affair or a physical affair while you were still married to your first wife. The dates you posted make it seem possible that you were involved with your current wife while you were still married to your first wife. Do I remember correctly that you have a child with your first wife? What is your relationship to this child?

Since the timeline you posted indicated that you moved in with your current wife at about the same time that you left your first wife, and that the three of you were all "friends", it seems reasonable for me to be able to ask you if there was an EA or a PA with your current wife. It does not seem like you answered that question and you have now jumped to a new thread.

Congratulations on your sobriety since May 19th
Posted By: Mr. Goodstuff Re: reconciliation advice, hope? - 08/05/08 06:45 PM
How about we focus on your previous thread?
Posted By: voivod Re: reconciliation advice, hope? - 08/05/08 06:53 PM
i'll tell ya what, i'll copy and paste my most recent reply to the questions. hang on, be right back.

ok, this is it (i hope):

we met at work (my ex, me and future wife all worked at same place. we were all friends AND ONLY FRIENDS) at the time. i divorced in december of 1988 , me & future wife moved to new mexico, ex moved to washington. i lived in new mexico(then pennsylvania) WITH my future second wife. we lived together unmarried, we moved back home to the northwest and away from the crime of philadelphia with our first child and married november of 1991.
(also marshmallow, i just quickly skimmed thru my previous post to find the error as i was home from work grabbing a lunch and was running late on the way back. yep, i'm back to work after 6 months!!!stroke. thereby, i missed the other sentence which you so observantly brought to my attention)

NOTE: i was not intentionally trying to be deceptive. believe me when i say that i would not lie about having an affair to make it sound like i did. thank you for pointing this out to me. i'm almost sure that wife reads this site too. and she knows the reference to my nickname so she'd know "voivod" was me.

BYW, she just called me again (after another lovely evening together laying in the grass at the park and a quick dinner at her apt.) to inform me that she is gonna coach my son's sports team this fall and that she'd like ME to help her asst. coach!!!! yippee. she's giving me a chance. pray for me that i don't miss=step (i won't)

what is it you want from me??? this relationship started innocently. is that what you want to know? my heart knows what it knows. this relationship started innocently. there was no physical affair!!!

i moved in with beth as a financial decision. i had moved out of my house in my first marriage and was sleeping on a couch at the radio station i worked at. beth and i split the rent.
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