Hey MB people-

I heard on Oprah last friday that they are doing an Oprah show about Infidelity and are looking for people to go on the show.

About 6 months ago, i sent an e mail to the Oprah show suggesting they do a show about HEALING from infidelity. i told them how common infidelity is and that very few shows talk about the possibility of healing a marriage and even making it better. Most of the shows just like to broadcast all the hurt it causes, but offer little hope for reconciliation.

Then last Friday , i am standing in my kitchen and hear them announce this topic!!

I almost fell over!

i just e mailed the office for MB to ask them to have one of the Harleys to contact the Oprah show to be on it. i hope they do.

We need to get the message out there that recovery is possible and that most marriages can improve if the couple is committed to it.

i would love to go on the show, but my DD11 has no idea of the infidelity and my DS dont know the extent of it... so in an interest of protecting them, i wouldnt submit my story.

BUT - which of you MB experts out there would submit to go on the show??

SCHOOLBUS??
Pepper??

I am new here but i am sure there are many others>

just go to www.oprah.com and look for the link.

SO.. come on all of you positive people who write so beautifully- lets spread the word that we CAN HEAL- THAT OUR MARRIAGES ARE BETTER AND THAT WE CAN GROW AS PEOPLE.

SF

I hope Oprah will do the show on the healing aspects and not just the hurts.

It WOULD BE WONDERFUL if the Harleys participated!!!

Thanks for letting us know about it.

I, too, contacted the Oprah show. It was in the midst of some heavy anger,tho, and I'm sure it bled through in my letter.

They were advertising for hopefuls on yesterday's show, also.

However, with some recent comments made by Oprah herself (who was an OW), I am very leery of ANY show she does regarding infidelity. I do not believe that she is the person to talk to about these things since upon hearing her comments with fellow OW Barbara Wa-wa, I do not believe that she holds herself accountable for the 50% of the pain she dealt to the MM's BW.

The only Oprah show I would go on would be the big give away show ... high end 'stuff' and lots of it

I've been on TV a couple of times - The one time I will mention, I was on People's Court (Wapner and Llewelyn )
and it took me YEARS to live it down because it involved my cat getting beat up by a pit bull terrier - so everytime a pit bull terrier chewed a child in Los Angeles (all the time - it is the #1 dog choice for gang-bangers) People's Court re ran 'my' episode. My patients saw it and would comment "Saw you on TV. How's your cat?"

The show is not doing re runs anymore -

Reality TV producers can edit the daylights out of anything you say or do even if you think you are off camera - if you are tired between takes and you think the camera is off - it's NOT off - and they can catch you making a 'face' and edit so it looks like you made that 'face' in reaction to something someone said -

I bet Oprah will not turn out to be a 'pitbull' against infidelity and support marriage the way we do here. I bet she will try to stay somewhat neutral and humanistic. We'll see. It could be a very interesting show. I'll TEVO the show - and watch commercial free

We can have an entire thread devoted to deconstructing that Oprah show --- complete with popcorn - softdrinks - party hats

We can have 'rules' for our Oprah Show thread - every sentence must begin with "Oprah said" ...

I'm just too silly today

Pep

We've had MBer go on Dr Phil -

It was not pretty - they later divorced

Really? Which MBer?

Only if she denounces that Satan incarnate Eckhart Tolle... Not likely...

Mrs. W

Nothing about that was pretty.

Many hurts involved there.

quit being so neutral and playing it safe - tell us what you REALLY think about Tolle

Pep

ugh

link to show

Yanno, Oprah is human - and I've seen her mind/viewpoint changed a handful of times as the result of one of her shows/guests on her show. I'm shocked that vets here are such nay-sayers about her! This is an opportunity to educate her, and her HUGE audience...why not take it? It happens here all the time.

What's the beef with Tolle? I'm not a fan or a hater, have 2 of his books but at this point in my reading/healing/whathaveyou cannot grasp either.

I saw that couple on Dr. Phil! I like Dr. Phil too but lately he's more pro-divorce than I recall him being or am comfortable with personally. Wonder if it's true he's actually getting divorced now too?!

Pep,

Thanks for the link. That was a sad story, but it was inspiring to see that she wasn't going to allow the cake eating and fence sitting any longer. She looked GREAT in the update! It shows that you can make it, even if you have a WS that won't stop seeing the OP. Her WH made my stomach turn, I'm glad she kicked him out.

Yeah, I'm kinda shy about what I think...I should really work on that!


Ah Julie...There is just sooooooooo much wrong with that guy...Things that he espouses directly contradict scripture, so for me, that eliminates him as a source of anything positive...The way he does it is even worse...He tries to wrap up his rhetoric WITH scripture so that those not really aware can become ensnared...Scary, very, very scary...

I personally know of two active wayward wives that were taking part in that online class offered by Oprah and Tolle - eating it up...Pretty much anything embraced by active waywards is poison...I know, I remember, I've BTDT and thankfully, by the Grace of God, I made it to the other side...

Go check on youtube...there you can view some of the material from the online classes...he has the creepy dead fish eyes of a wayward even...

*shudder*

Mrs. W

Thank you for your candor.

I actually registered for the class & attended the first one. But, I just can't grasp what he talks about - he's too deep for me - or something. Now, Louise Hay, on the other hand...me & her are tight.

I was not raised with nor have I done much seeking of scripture so I'm one of the ones you speak of that doesn't get it! I figured I was a little too simple. Anyway, I appreciate your perspective.

I'm still not ready to give up on Oprah.

I did not know that Oprah was OW!! did she reveal that on her show???

also- i dont get why eckert tolle is so bad- i like alot of what he says- but sometimes i dont understand what he says.

the dr. phil show about that couple was sad- but i DO agree- the BS Candi- looked fantastic on the update!

but this just confirms my thought that all these talk shows feature people whose marriages have fallen apart due to infidelity.

we need to get the word out that IT IS POSSIBLE TO HEAL A MARRIAGE AFTER INFIDELITY-but that very specific actions need to be taken.

There are millions of people who watch Oprah, who could benefit from this message... and it wouldnt be bad for the OP out there to know this too.

SF

I enjoy Oprah's shows. Nevertheless, I'm NOT handing in my man card.

I do appreciate the fact that she is willing to volunteer her own opinion. I don't appreciate her embracing Humanism and pluralizing Christianity.

I have deep concern when folk communicate to me and others quoting the Gospel according to St Oprah. Do you think that these folk are swept with peer pressure or does she do subliminal indoctrination?

Dr Phil impressed me from day one with his straight talk and quaint expressions. There were situations, however, which seemed to play to the crowd rather than fix the problem.

What if Dr Harley were to video cases and play those that had satisfactory conclusions? Actors could play out situations that represented past case history.

Hmmmmm??

S-55,

I don't know that I would ever be capable of going on national TV.

Just isn't in my deck of cards.


The privacy factor in my life is way too high. I share my story with people here, and in my life, sure. But to millions - many of whom are simply voyeurs, I don't know.

Oprah...........hmmmm. I go hot and cold with her. She has many good qualities and I'm sure she has offered many things that have been positive to many people. Her evolution over the years - consider the early days of her shows with the shock TV stuff she did - shows that she is willing to change her ideas and direction. Her attitude toward being the OW? Tells me she is a typical human being, and very much at this point in her life at least, egotistical and resistant to looking at her faults and weaknesses.

Broken, like the rest of us.

I think it is harder for us to give her that because she is rich and famous, and has this platform from which she is able to talk about her ideas and opinions, and so many people seem to worship her and follow blindly. But she remains human, egotistical, etc. - what makes us so angry is that those of us who recognize her problems (especially the other woman issue!) is that those acolytes do NOT see it, and do not hold her accountable for it.

So for me, I look at her like I look at every other person on the planet. I take the good with the bad, and that's that. I sort out whether or not one outweighs the other to the point where I choose not to associate or watch or read or otherwise engage with that person.

I don't really care how much money a person makes, how famous, how cool, how pretty, how thin, how "nice", how....anything.

Your character makes me your friend or associate. Anything else is BS, and I don't mean betrayed spouse.

SB

well said. I agree.

Oprah is incredibly charismatic ... she looks people in the eye when they talk and appears to actually be listening .... this is intoxicating and it draws people to her

On one hand it's a good idea but on the other...I think it would be revealing too much strategy to the enemy.

Sure, BS's would come here for help but then lots of WS's would as well, IMHO.

And in war, we sure don't want to reveal too much to the enemy!

Heck, I would offer to go on myself but I don't really care about being on tv and since I live in a small town I think it would just be too bothersome to do it.

If I cared about embarrassing the crap out of Slag even more than she's done to herself, though, I would do it. OWH said her worst fear was being called to go on Jerry Springer. Well, Oprah would do. Audience is probably just as big. And OWH would do it, he's a spunky one!

But I really hope he doesn't! The possibility DOES exist, however. He's starting to get combative since we went to court so I don't know! He might!

Charlotte

I would only appear on a TV talk show if I had veto rights over how they edited my comments. I do not trust these people.

Several years ago a priest I know was on a local show debating atheists. He was getting zinged right and left and looked pretty bad. Finally, during one of the long commercial breaks, one of the stage crew called him over. He told him the following, "I am a Jew and you are a Christian and we can debate the differences later on, but I have to tell you what they are doing to you. The others have been here before and know exactly when the show will cut to a commercial. They wait until a few seconds before that happens, zap you with a comment, and then you have no time to respond. The host will do NOTHING to prevent this as he is sympathetic to the atheists. When you see me touch the bill of my cap, you have about 20 seconds to a commercial. Use the time well."

Here's another example, a father and son I know do Civil War reenactments. They were interviewed by a national magazine. The reporter asked the boy if he considered himself an American or a Confederate first. The boy was playing the part of a young Confederate soldier and answered as that character. "I am a loyal Conferdate!" This answer was later used (out of context) to show that Southern dads are raising more red-neck, racist kids.

Just wanted to comment about Eckert Tolle's teachings. Any book that shows up on the best seller list gets my attention (that's an English teacher for you).

Tolle isn't deep-he just speaks in circles which makes him hard to follow. It also makes him sound like he knows what he's talking about. I've had some history teachers who did that.

He uses a bit of scripture, a bit of philosophy, some new age ideas and a bit of whatever for his teachings. He makes it sound like something new, but it isn't really. It's similar to what the B'hai and some offshoots of the new age movement also believe.

In a nutshell-what he says is all religions give us only glimpses of truth; that no religion has total truth and that all religions lead to the same place. (That doesn't make sense when some world religions believe in reincarnation-some in multiple gods-some in reaching nirvana through balance-and some in the forgiveness of sins through the work of God's son on the cross).

In Tolle's teachings all religions are "equally false and equally true, depending on how you use them." Okaaayyy...

Tolle also teaches that when a person holds to a specific "truth" (such as Jesus is the Son of God) that religion becomes an "ideology"-which Tolle says will keep us from finding the truth for ourselves. (So, if you believe in Jesus as your savior-then you can't find the "truth" because you are now believing an "ideology").

Therefore, you have to accept his teachings(which by his own definition would then be an "ideology") or you aren't free to find the truth. In other words, to find the truth, you can't accept any religious view of the truth-except for Tolle's.

Here comes the all important question:
How do you know if you have found the core truths within each religion and not an ideology?

Well, for Tolle, it's through a very subjective " “inner knowing.”

It would make sense that active waywards would love these teachings because the truth is based on how a person "feels".

The hardest part for me is where you have accept that his view is the right one if you want to find the truth which then cancels out his teaching because it has become an "ideology" since you accept it as the way to find truth.

Hope this makes sense...