My married lover is seeing other women - 01/13/09 04:40 PM
No, not my married lover, silly.
This woman's.
This is what passes for relationship advice in a reputable British newspaper. This was in the Mail On Sunday's You magazine on Sunday 11 January 2009.
The editor of that newspaper's weekday stable mate, Paul Dacre of The Daily Mail , recently claimed that it is the duty of newspapers to take an ethical stand against amorality. He especially condemned a judge for placing the rights of the adulterer above society's age-old belief that adultery should be condemned. In 2006, Justice Eady ruled that a husband could not sell his story to the press about a wealthy sporting celebrity who had seduced his wife. The judge expressed concern about the effects of the revelations on the celebrity's wife. Dacre spoke against the moral neutrality implied by this judgement.
Perhaps the editorial staff of the Mail and the Mail on Sunday should have a chat with each other.
Here is the relationship advice, from Zelda West-Meads, an expert who has been a spokesperson for the UK's national marriage guidance service Relate .
My married lover is seeing other women
I have been having an affair with a married man for 20 years –
I am also married.
Over the past few years I have suspected that he has been seeing other women. When I questioned him he denied everything, naturally. He says I don’t have a right to question what he does and that it is none of my business.
I think that I do have a right because I have been seeing him for so long. We have always known that we would never
leave our partners and have been content with the way
things are, although for a long time I did think I was his
only other woman.
I love him and I can’t view our relationship as just sex,
which he obviously does. Is it unreasonable to expect him
to be faithful? Should I accept it or walk away?
The reply:
A married man who had a mistress of some years standing told me that he would hate it if his wife was unfaithful, but that he would be completely devastated if his mistress had an affair. Like you and your lover, he too had no intention of leaving his wife for his mistress. You say that you are both content with the way things are, which perhaps signifies that, though the affair may be enjoyable, it is not a deep love affair. But you do love him and it has to be more than just sex, otherwise why continue for 20 years?
I don’t like the way he talks to you, dismissing it as none of your business. It is hurtful and confirms that he is playing around and his feelings are less deeply rooted than yours.
It’s not unreasonable to expect him to be faithful but, just as he is prepared to cheat on his wife, he is also prepared to cheat on you. It would be wise to walk away.
This woman's.
This is what passes for relationship advice in a reputable British newspaper. This was in the Mail On Sunday's You magazine on Sunday 11 January 2009.
The editor of that newspaper's weekday stable mate, Paul Dacre of The Daily Mail , recently claimed that it is the duty of newspapers to take an ethical stand against amorality. He especially condemned a judge for placing the rights of the adulterer above society's age-old belief that adultery should be condemned. In 2006, Justice Eady ruled that a husband could not sell his story to the press about a wealthy sporting celebrity who had seduced his wife. The judge expressed concern about the effects of the revelations on the celebrity's wife. Dacre spoke against the moral neutrality implied by this judgement.
Perhaps the editorial staff of the Mail and the Mail on Sunday should have a chat with each other.
Here is the relationship advice, from Zelda West-Meads, an expert who has been a spokesperson for the UK's national marriage guidance service Relate .
My married lover is seeing other women
I have been having an affair with a married man for 20 years –
I am also married.
Over the past few years I have suspected that he has been seeing other women. When I questioned him he denied everything, naturally. He says I don’t have a right to question what he does and that it is none of my business.
I think that I do have a right because I have been seeing him for so long. We have always known that we would never
leave our partners and have been content with the way
things are, although for a long time I did think I was his
only other woman.
I love him and I can’t view our relationship as just sex,
which he obviously does. Is it unreasonable to expect him
to be faithful? Should I accept it or walk away?
The reply:
A married man who had a mistress of some years standing told me that he would hate it if his wife was unfaithful, but that he would be completely devastated if his mistress had an affair. Like you and your lover, he too had no intention of leaving his wife for his mistress. You say that you are both content with the way things are, which perhaps signifies that, though the affair may be enjoyable, it is not a deep love affair. But you do love him and it has to be more than just sex, otherwise why continue for 20 years?
I don’t like the way he talks to you, dismissing it as none of your business. It is hurtful and confirms that he is playing around and his feelings are less deeply rooted than yours.
It’s not unreasonable to expect him to be faithful but, just as he is prepared to cheat on his wife, he is also prepared to cheat on you. It would be wise to walk away.
