Yes, no, depends on the woman?

Pre A .... I had no real problem, H would go on a rare occasion with buddies. I also didn't see the disrespect it is to a marriage. I do now.

Post A .... I would have a huge problem since he has admitted to a couple of 'indiscretions' related to these places.

Even if the food was to die for and dirt cheap, I don't see any reason whatsoever for a married man to go to a strip bar.

But that's me.

Is the man taking the woman to the club with him? Or not.

I'm really tired but realized I didn't even answer your question.
Is this cheating ?
Well ... you can't tell me that you have no sexual thoughts while watching the strippers, these thoughts are evoked by someone other than your wife, and the physical stimulus is right in your face. How can you not compare them with your wife? So ... yes I think it is a form of cheating.

What really matters is what does your spouse think?

ok this all depends on why the person is going....are you going for say a bachelor party or just to go.

I see it ok if it has to do with a bachelor party...It is seen as almost a tradition for some people before a wedding..as long as thats all it is....as long as he isn't going there to look for something. He's coming home to the one he loves and no one else i would not be that worried.

But if the plans are to go out to the strip bar to go....no. Just no. Unless the other half of the relationship is going with. No It's asking for trouble.

Strip club's are disgusting, vile places where women are degraded.

No decent human being who has any compassion should go to them.

If the couple has made vows to be faithful, sexually and in all other ways forsaking all others?

YES!

I agree. Married men, no matter what, should not be in a strip club. Bachelor party or lunch.

Why would being in a strip club, with your H watching another woman take off her clothes be any different than a 'friend' strip for your H? Would you let you H so next door and watch your "friendly" neighbor strip for him?


Nope.....it's cheating as far as I'm concerned.

I do not think a married man has any business in one. Frankly, I don't think an unmarried man has any business in one.

I think you guys are trying to sale us women a bill of goods on why you 'need' activities such as these. If you wouldn't do it with your mama, wife, and children watching you, you don't need to be doing it.

I agree.

Yes. At some level, your wife will resent it.

As a man going to a strip club is cheating. Sexual favors are offered in places like this. I would not want my W going to an all male club so I can she her not wanting me to go to a female one.

You will be sorry... because no matter what YOU think about it.

It is what SHE thinks that matters.

Going to a strip club is cheating. Why are you there? To get aroused from looking at another woman. Steer clear as it will destroy your relationship, just like porn and an actually affair.

If it won't build up your marriage, it will help tear it down. Now, is this a situation in which it will build or destroy?

And, if you've come here looking for something that will justify your choice to do this, you can just pack your bags and go home.

My exww suggested we go to one when we were married. We were driving by it.

Her rationale was that they'd get me all worked up and she'd take care of things after.

I was disgusted at the idea and flat out said no. She tried to persuade me, but I told her I wasn't comfortable with the idea of getting all worked up by another woman and that the only woman who was allowed to excite me in any way was her.

That should have been a clue about her boundaries.

Yes, I consider it very bad boundaries at best, infidelity in your mind as well.

You have not known many strippers have you?

Strip clubs are disgusting, vile places where lonley and unhappy men are manipulated by very caniving wemon who see the patrons as nothing but walking dollar bills.

Having an older brother who was a bouncer at one when I was a teen, and having known many dancers that worked there. I have a uniqe inside view into such places.

I feel sory for the men that go there, not the wemon who work there.

At any rate. I do not feel it is cheating to go to a strip club. But I do not think it is somthing that a married man should do unless his wife is with him. And even then, I advise against it.

No, it's not physical cheating as long as you don't touch.

But, I'm not sure how going to a strip club goes along those vows you took to love, honor, and cherish your wife. That should be the overriding decision maker..not whether or not you can ease your conscience on a technicality.

Women are degraded there?

First, it's easy to make the case that they are not being degraded at all, considering the copious amounts of money they make for doing little to no work. They dance naked and have money thrown at them.

Degraded? How about being stuck in a cubicle for 40+ hours a week, living paycheck to paycheck, and wondering if I'll be able to support my family if and when I get laid off while some idiot skank down at "The Red Garter" is pulling down more cash than I do, and paying little to no tax on any of it?

Second, strippers are not slaves. Nobody has ever put a gun to their head and said, "You are going to be a stripper".

Most strippers do what they do because they are lazy, and are genetically gifted enough to earn large amounts of money WHILE being lazy. Correction, they're lazy AND have a meth habit to finance. You can't support a meth habit working at Burger King, and working fast food is like, hard and stuff.

Strippers choose to be strippers. If stripping is degrading, they are choosing to be degraded.

I guess it's better to be "degraded" than to have to actually work for a living. These [censored] would end up on government assistance and whoring themselves out on the street.

Tipping a stripper is almost like giving to charity.


For the record, I don't like strip clubs, either.

Women are degraded at strip clubs by both themselves and the men who visit them.

The women degrade themselves to carnal animals or objects and the men encourage it by paying the strippers.

Whenever I've gone to strip clubs I've told my wife, after the fact. I tell the girls I can't go in the backroom because my wife wouldn't allow it,I'm too much of a miser as well.

My wife does not seem to mind too much, but lately the standard is that I have to ask before hand. Which always means NO.

It is a rather degrading profession in my area they are mostly from Brazil and have to pay the driver of the van $60 for transportation, so sometimes depending on business they can make very little.

Being illegal puts them at the mercy of the club owners and other marginal people who provide them with services. My guess is that it is a better life than most Brazilian slums afford. As one commedian said about the confused feminists' position on stripping "it gives women jobs"

Funny I went to a club with my BIL and told my wife afterward who then busted him to her sister.

NJ

I probably shouldn't be thinking that post is hot...

Mike you know you're just asking for :twobyfour: for that comment don't you

I do not know if i would consider it cheating, but i certainly would be pi55ed off big time if my H went to one.

I feel the same way about porno mags (i do not have to worry about the internet porn he does not know how to use a computer), there is no need for a married man to be checking out other naked women. Check out your own naked WOMAN.

Mike!!!

lol

I guess the strippers could always pull double shifts at McDonald's to make a tenth of what they were making as a stripper.

You know...since paper hats, nametags, and a minimum wage salary aren't degrading. :RollieEyes:

Most of the girls I have known that danced pull in over $100,000 a year, dont pay any taxes on it, and wast allmost all of it.

And yes, most are on some form of narcotic.

But, were they being degraded?

If so, I'm being enslaved.

We were baited here. The original poster has left, watching us flail away. Ah well,,,,!

From dictionary.com...

de⋅grad⋅ed /dɪˈgreɪdɪd/ [di-grey-did]

–adjective

1. reduced in rank, position, reputation, etc.: He felt degraded by the trivial tasks assigned to him.

2. reduced in quality or value; debased; vulgarized: the degraded level of the modern novel.

Yes, I'd say degraded is the proper term...I realize it's a choice, but degradation is there, nonetheless...

Mrs. W

Well, then, degradation is occurring in fast food joints and retailers across this country.

But, they don't pull in six figures.

While i personally would never be a stripper, nor would i want my children to be.

I happen to know a couple of women that are and they do not consider it degrading. They CHOOSE to have this as their profession because as another poster pointed out where else can they make the kind of money they make.

They have both told me they would not give it up for any reason, the money is too good.

I think the people who go into the clubs are the ones degrading themselves.

Indeed.

And yet, I find them all to be gentle and considerate lovers....

Ok look one of my very best friends and the god mother to my child was a stripper many many moons ago. She became one out of neccessity. She had finally gotten out of an abusive marriage...but the place she lived was very small townish.

No one would hire her because of her xh reputation. He threatened to make her life hell and she would loose any job she had forcing her to come back to him.

She became a stripper. The owner of the club was about the only person who didn't fear her ex. She was always treated with respect and able to make enough money to start a new life for her and her ds.

While working there she met an army officer whom after a year and a half of dating she married. They are still married today and have 2 additional dd's whom I adore.

No she is no longer a stripper and hasn't been for awhile. She became a veterinay assistant...a damn good one too. When she had the girls she became a SAHM. Not all strippers are bad. Some find theselves in a postion where they do what they need to for survival. She said she never felt degraded she had a choice and if she didn't want to do something she didn't have to.

She became a stripper so she and her son could have a chance. It wasn't her first choice but it was a ray of light in her darkest hour.

Questionable perhaps, Cheating - DEFINITELY NOT

And that would be because .......

Because its not cheating unless you have sex with them.

So what would an EA be then?

We are not discussing EA's here! Unless of course you think by going to a strip club means you're having an EA with a stripper?

A bit back someone in my area did have a single sided emotional affair with a stripper which ended in murder, I don't think this is typical.

http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/rabinowitz_craig.html#Husband

NJ

I dunno do I have to pay for that?

Yep.

My very good friend was in Hawaii. Her boyfriend beat her. The day he turned his physical rage toward their one-year-old child, she fled from the house and used what money she had to fly to the mainland. She had to leave the islands because the BF's family would have hunted her down. My friend found herself penniless and jobless with a baby. I don't agree with the choice she made to be a dancer, but I understand why she did. She was never a wh*** and was never a meth addict as someone before has labeled all strippers. She provided a home for her son, put him through a private school, put herself through college, and is now in the medical field with a license to practice in two states. She's married to a wonderful, professional man who knows of her past. They live on a small organic farm and are very happy.

I don't know where I stand on these places. I used to be very much against them until I saw how one helped my friend when she was in trouble. I do know I don't judge those who work in them. That's not for me to decide.

As for if it's cheating... I think someone was looking for back-up when another person put her foot down. It's not illegal. But is it something worth hurting your relationship over?

not cheating, but definately needs to be POJA'd on before. i liken it to other forms of entertainment. some people go to bars b/c they enjoy darts. others go b/c they are seeking out something or someone. some people go to church to be educated, others go to meet people. it all is what the underlying motivation is. i used to prefer going to strip clubs over bars b/c there is a lot less chance of anything happening at a strip club. now i know that i should not go to either without my spouse unless i am seeking to put myself into a BAD SITUATION.