But sooner or later it comes. I'm 5 years past DD day. I tried for a long time to save the marriage, but failed.

My life is good again and I'm so glad that I did try. I can look back with no regrets.

The "soulmates" aren't doing so well. The OW was kicked out of her house by her BH. She now lives with her BH's sister. OW, after being a SAHM for 15 years is working, but still can't afford her own place.

My ex called me today and wants to know if he can move in with me and be roommates. Seems he can't afford his own place. I felt like telling him to look up his "soulmate" again, but didn't.

All of you who are going through H*ll, please realize that affairs almost never last.

Affairs "almost never" last. Wish it were "never" last. Almost sucks. Where is that bus? Karmarose is suppose to be driving it.

Gotta love the bus.

yep! they never last, so when the WS comes back after they have exhausted all their means, then they can see who is and always have been for them. He sounds like a sick puppy. Maybe he has turned his self around and will never cheat again, he is to scared.

believer, I needed to hear about this bus tonight. The word Karma keeps popping in my head these days. For WH for OW. I think I am hearing the swinging of the bus door a few blocks away. What a great word -- KARMA

5 years I can wait..easily and see the train wreck (oops karma bus)

Karma, what goes around comes around, no matter how long it takes, maybe after 5 years it is beginning to show him wearing down. shame and quilt did not give up on him. he is human with a consious as well. his life will never be the same. the karma bus is slow but steady. universal law!

....but it's consistent

I'm a firm believer that what goes around comes around!!

> The Karma bus is slow

but it's thorough...

Oh believer, you are a better woman than I for not doing at least a small dance about this, a little schadenfreude would certainly accompany this news for me.

It looks like you are riding the Peace Train (your Karma for trying so hard) while the Karma Bus is knocking your WH right off his feet.

My apologies to Cat Stevens and John Lennon.

Believer -- what did you say?? What was your answer??

I told him that unfortunately, I already have a roommate who is working out quite well. When my ex rode off into the sunset with the OW, he stopped giving me money or paying any bills. I scrambled to survive and found a roommate who now has a proven track record.

In those dark days when he abandoned me, a MB member - Lostandhurt even offered to send me money to make my house payment. That gave me the strength to make it on my own. So a complete stranger cared more than my WH.

As for the OW, her BH found a lovely girl from Australia while he was in Dubai. They are getting married in April. He had let his WW live with him until he met the new (by the way, much prettier, younger, and richer) woman. Then he asked WW to move. She moved out on her own and lasted only 4 months, and then had to move in with her BH's sister.

The way things worked out is so satisfying. Goes to show that relationships that start out in sin seldom end in happiness. It may take some time, but sooner or later justice prevails.

For those who think that the affairees are doing fine and have not had to face the consequences of their choices, I would caution with the old AA saying, "Not yet".

I know this so well.

B-

You have always been my role model. Your age, length of marriage, etc is so close to my sitch. And our WH's - wow, they must be brothers. My WH is doing all of the ugly things that yours did. My atty recommended that I look at filing bankruptcy. But like you, MB friends have given me the courage to fight. My heart was so touched when many people here that we don't even really know sent us baby gifts to help us through.

And the Karma bus? Maybe it will come. Who knows. I'm not sure I even care anymore.

Queenie - Yes, we all have to remember "Not yet".

Chai - That is the sad part. By the time the Karma bus comes around, we might not care anymore.

I used to wait for the Karma bus to catch up to my WW. then I found that I was spending so much time waiting for her Karma bus to come my bus passed me by.

Well got a new bus schedule, and am now on a new ride.

I don't know when her bus will show up, I know it will I just try not to let it bother me anymore.

In a way, I almost feel sorry for my WH. His health has gone way downhill, OP has a gambling issue and is probably draining him, he travels and now lives in an apartment, never gets to see his DD or grandchild, and has to be worried about keeping his physically demanding job at his age.

Hmmmm....maybe that is the Karma Bus.

Lemme tell you about the Karma Tank.

Our CNC router operator is a BH who's WW cheated on him with a co-worker at his last job.

He beat the everlovin carp out of the guy and they BOTH lost their jobs.

Anyways he starts to work here six months ago and I REALLY like the guy.

He was headed into work Monday morning and lost control of his motorcycle and it went down a ravine.

He's in a coma and extremely busted up. I don't expect him to live, much less ever come back to work.

Get this, his WW calls up here asking if his check can be made out to her as she can't get into his checking account to pay the bills.

Believer,

""My ex called me today and wants to know if he can move in with me and be roommates.""

Ya gotta love em, donchya?

Hope you told him "It's spring now buddy, you can go bunk on the beach."

TOO MUCH!!

kirk

Pariah,

Sounds like the tank hit the wrong person. You did mean the BH, right?

Yes, the Karma Tank got the wrong person.

BIG TIME.

That's sad. Doesn't seem fair, does it? I hope that he makes it.

ExH M'd OW and now they are having a baby. Where's the karma bus there?

Looking for KARMA when its been there ALL ALONG??!! There life w/out you all IS THE KARMA! It is the payback!! I don't want anything else negative/derogatory to happen to my FWWxW!! If you are a gem, and they have lost you forever, then THAT IS THE KARMA from day one. They probably think about you all every day, but they know what they have done has cost them any chance to put things back to the way "they were". Now they live in perpetual pergatory. That my friends is KARMA, and lives on every day!

Catgirl - It takes much longer than we would like. I went through this for five years before the K bus hit. Things might seem fine right now, but that will change.

For that OW, the karma tank will be an episomitomy from hell, hemroids for the rest of her life and impacted milk ducts.

For him, the doc won't stitch her up correctly and it'll be like throwin' a hot dog down a hallway every time they get funky.

How's that?

LOL. You gotta give me license to use this. It is one of the funnier things I have read lately.


Bel,

For your ex the karma bus was always going to be an armored vehicle. For him you just need to follow the money. The adultery was, if not secondary at least tied for, first. And that's all he still wants you for.

Use away Appy.

It's an old, OLD southern sayin'.

Here is the license for that bus...

http://www.mchenrycountyblog.com/uploaded_images/License-Plate-KARMA-U-of-I-Alumni-754467.jpg

LMAO don't forget some stretch marks from hell. exWH will then dump her for some other "special" woman.

Dealan-de

My luck she'll have a c section!!!!

Then I wish abcesses...and I still wish the 'roids on 'er.

You are too funny!!!!

not to mention some flabby saggy 'bits' if she breastfeeds.

No she won't breastfeed, guaranteed. She's very much into career and material things. Couldn't be bothered. I'm even shocked she's pregnant.

From what I have heard, she is not exactly motherly...

She's quite large to begin with, so I doubt her increased weight and all that goes along with being prenant will deter ExH.

Luv it! Karma's a Deadhead, who knew!

My xWW lied, denied, rationalized, scapegoated, & CYA'd like no one ever has before, affair-married her much-older (also married) thrice-adulterous OM as soon as the "ink was dry", and then flaunted and bragged about it to everyone she could co-apt to 'her side'...claiming how "proud" she was of "the new life she had created and the child she will (eventually) have".

Well, via the grapevine (since her innate stubbornness will prevent her from actually speaking TRUTH) I have learned that she is "unhappy...the honeymoon is over", is still (as of a few months ago) NOT yet pregnant at age 37 & OM may not want (more) kids after all, is embroiled in a lawsuit with OM's (3rd) ex-wife over non-payment of child support & custody issues, realizes that she was "hard-headed" with me, misses my family, has lost several "true friends", and is sexually deprived because her 54yo "soulmate" new-hubby has hypertension & ED.

All of this has been gradually revealed only over the last year or so and xWW hasn't even been affair-married to OM for 18 months yet. The Karma-Bus is indeed painfully slow but it does "come around"....Karma is indeed a B***H as they say

S W E E T

Whether it is Karmic justice or just the inevitable result of pursuing emotional fantasy via illogical & immoral selling-out, I do not know...

I do know that the affair was a complete repudiation of what she was and what she believed in. And I do know that the OM is someone she would NEVER have considered to be suitable romantic-partner-material under "normal", emotionally healthy/stable circumstances had she been single. No amount of her denials and protestations to the contrary can cover-up those FACTS...

Out of all the places to move, to hell, to out of space, to the ends of the earth, let him move in, charge him extra for being rediculus!!!!!

Karma, just set back - watch and listen. Consequences are there for everyone, especially people who think they are exempt from real life. So the fantasy Stops eventually!!!!!!!!!!

I want the rubber to meet the road for my WS

had interesting discussion on forgiveness tonight...with a friend....

don't wait for the karma bus, folks. what if you wait....and wait....and wait....and wait some more? what if the karma bus doesn't come?

RISE ABOVE IT!!!!

I don't believe you have to forgive automatically if they apologize. But, I do believe that, in order to live well...to live to your maximum potential...you have to forgive even if you never hear an apology from them.

Anger and resentment will eat your soul!

Amen!

I do NOT believe in Karma.

I recall Psalm 73:13.

"Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain I washed my hands in innocence."

And the reply Ps73:27

"Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you."

This does not necessarily mean retribution in this life. I DO believe in the life after death.

[quote=

RISE ABOVE IT!!!!

I don't believe you have to forgive automatically if they apologize. But, I do believe that, in order to live well...to live to your maximum potential...you have to forgive even if you never hear an apology from them.

Anger and resentment will eat your soul! [/quote]


Thank you cinderella.

The ow in my case went on to marry 8 months after final nc and new H has money. Haven't heard anything else since my DD emailed her in 04, ow was still conscienceless (is that a word?), , don't know, don't want to know what happened. We are far far away and we love it.

ps. I prayed for a man to come into her live so she would leave us the hayell alone!

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Have you seen this new emoticon? LOLOLOLOLOLOL! :twobyfour:

I have also found Isaiah 54 to be very healing.....I believe I was sent to a Bible class one night....just to find that chapter.

CG - I was telling someone else and I'll tell you - she realizes that she has a teneous grasp (at best) on him, and that's the WHOLE reason she's preggers.

Don't think for a moment that it is anything but that. I've seen it so many times here and IRL that'd it'd make a gal wanna puke if they didn't become innured to it.

Once HE figures out all of what I said, their house of cards is gonna come tumbling down...and NO one wants to be around to see that...it's gonna be ugly and bitter.

Trust.

Huh? What did that poor man ever do to you? What did he do to Christ, for that matter, that he should be sentenced to life without the possibility of parole shackled to your OW? Any OW?

Talk about evil intentions…

Maybe he came by his money badly?

Still, seems like a very disproportionate punishment.

Even if it were Madoff.

I guess this is one scripture that would make my enemies nervous.

Two Karma busses:

1. A friend of mine was dating a married man. (she was single--this was years ago). We all begged her to stop. She insisted that he insisted his marriage was dead. We all thought he'd dump her and go back to his wife. We were wrong. He divorced his wife and married her and they had a few kids. But 17 years later--he had an affair--and left her. The Karma bus probably needs to circle back to pick him up, but they got my former friend the first time around.

2). H's father was caught cheating on his mother. She threw him out. He married OW. She cleaned him out, drove him nearly to banktruptcy (he was making a good living) and then divorced him.

De,

I hope you are right. The sad part is now they are dragging a baby into this mess that they created!

Friends told me they registered on a baby registry and are happier then a pig in poop!

And this is a guy that NEVER wanted more kids with me!

Is he that stupid to agree to have a kid with her just to keep her, or save face?!

I'm a firm believer in Romans 8: 28.

A baby born into an affairiage is dealt a pretty bad hand, for certain. But God loves this child. And there will be opportunity for that child to rise above the conditions of his/her birth.

Cat - just like you were dealt a pretty bad hand by your husband's marital treachery. But there is ample opportunity for you to gain the gifts that this adversity has brought to you and become more the person you want to be as a result.

There is a passage of scripture where Jesus instructed that it's better for you to cut off an offending appendage than lose contact with God. Think of your ex in this manner - and yes the process is painful, but you are no longer doomed to h*ll because of your wayward's evil.

Mark 9: 43, 45, 47
43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
• • •
45 And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
• • •
47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

Think about it!

The karma I was hoping for never happened. But, I am looking at the fact that my ex has gotten his young girlfriend pregnant as ironic karma.

He walked out on me and two children for a life free of responsibilities, no mortgage, no bills, no kids to keep him tied down. What does he have now--karma. Another child to take care of, new bills, new house payment, no going off playing cause he has a kid to take care of, a girlfriend who is a kid herself, he will be raising her to, she is uneducated and doesn't have a job. So he will be supporting her, new baby, and our to kids thanks to child support. And, me? I have a great job, and I don't have to change diapers, burp kids, fix bottles, constantly take them to the doctor, buy diapers and formula, no heavy infant car seats to carry, and my kids are the age now they love spending nights with friends, I have the freedom now, not him. And I have no reputation as a cheater or abandoner like him.

EXACTLY Sad,

As much as I wanted more kids and LOVE kids, I could never imagine starting over again at my age. When I'm 60, my kids will be done with college. When he's 60, he'll have a kid in middle school!!!

ExH told me the same thing. When he was older he wanted to travel and not have to lug around car seats and strollers, Wanted his older years to be free.

Oh well...

It's still not easy for me to accept that he's having another kid though...

Hiya cat, i know how you feel there my WH is in an affair and got OW preggers straight away after leaving me altho he didnt want anymore kids. at present im still in plan A and have not given up hope but the thought of him having a child with OW is very hard to deal with

Yeah it is. I'm starting to obsess about if the kid will be cuter than our kids were, what will they name it. So STUPID I know!!!!

yes it is but i think all the same things all the time and also wonder if he would treat it differently then he did ours as he always struggled to cope with them as babies, i keep praying that it turns out not to be his but i doubt that will happen
but on a positive note i have 2 wonderful kids that are out of nappies and i dont get as many sleepless nights lol altho we do get the odd ones from bad dreams etc

It's not stupid, it's normal.

OW had 2 kids with my fwh.

Now he and I have custody of them.

I had gotten my tubes tied after the birth of my DS9. What she named both children was a slap to my face and the face of my family.

Thank God I see them as their own people!

I believe in the Karma bus-

My dad was caught cheating and my mom went full out ballistic with exposure- not even having read any MB principles. Anyway she started a law suit against OW and within 3 mos of the OW had a stroke!

My dad had already come back and decided to work on the M before this happened and I am sure that he is glad he did!!!

My WW left me for the "Marlboro Man". As part of her fogbabble she said she's changed...she's a horse trainer...she can't live the life she's was living with me because I don't understand what it's like to be a trainer... she can acheive her goals with OM because he is a horseman...

Fast forward to this month, she's broke, supporting POSOM, being investigated for a horse of hers that was nasty looking when it went through an auction, and is getting her name dragged through the mud on several horse internet forums for selling said horse to a dealer who takes horses to slaughter.

That poor horse...

And she's gittin' what she gave, huh?

But that poor horse.

I found this passage in Isaiah this morning:

Woe to you, O destroyer, you who have not been destroyed!
Woe to you, O traitor, you who have not been betrayed!
When you stop destroying, you will be destroyed;
When you stop betraying, you will be betrayed.

O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you.
Be our strength every morning, our salvation in times of distress.

Is. 33:1-2

I sure hope that the Karma bus will hit my xWH because I think that is the only chance that he will ever take responsibility for what he did. He must hit rock bottom before he does that.

My grandmother had a saying that the one who hurts will be hurt. For very long I thought that it meant that everyone will get their punishment in some way. But after the affair I have started to think of it as more of a Dorian Gray story. If a good person does bad things, the guilt will eat him up. And if it doesen't, the worse for him, because then he really IS a bad person.

My xWH was a good man and I think that he will never be able to look into his own eyes in the mirror again. I think that he and OW hang on to the affair just to prove to themselves that it was about love.

I want to know what I did to have the Karma Bus hit me so hard.

Sometimes I think it gets the wrong people!

Catgirl, has your experience made you more competent as a writer?
I'm thinking that this is opportunity to suffer for your art!

Imagine,

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Care to clarify?

Having to get up every 2 hours is SEVERE punishment, TRUST ME. Maybe it'll go beyond the first year.

If my memory serves me correctly, you are a journalist. Am I right?

I guess I forgot what it was like to have an infant. My kids are well past that stage.

I do remember though that ExH never got up with the kids for feedings or if they were ill. He had to go to work the next day, that was his excuse. He said I was home and could sleep if I wanted to.

No. I think you have me confused with another member..."catperson"

Not sure if that member is a journalist though.

Ike tried to pull this one on me a few times, but I told him, "You helped with the fun part (making them), you can help in the crappy parts, too." It seemed to work, because he is a really great dad. ;-)

Oh yeah, getting no sleep when they are newborns in a HARSH punishment....lol I felt sorry for my other kids because I was so sleep deprived and a little cranky!

Oops! This is the second time I've confused the two of you...

No problem!

Well the karma bus hit exH and his affamaily. ExH got hit by the IRS big time after he left us. He is still paying that off.
OW has had nothing but medical complications since just after they got married...including a breast cancer scare. The latest was her taking a spill when she slipped on some Ice when they went snowshoeing.
ExH stepson keeps getting bullied in school and is afraid to go to school. His grades are falling and they may need to switch his school.
I think they planted a bus stop at there house because the bus seems to have a regular route there.

Wow, hopefully my ExH and OW are as lucky!!!

The karma bus keeps hitting the OW in my sitch.


She owned a business that went under right after the affair was over. Then, she tried a home sales of - get this - underwear. She was horrible.

Then, she opened a cabinet shop. It also failed.

The other day, I went into the local large home improvement store to get some gardening supplies. The OW has a degree in botany.

She is putting it to good use. She works in the garden center, selling plants.

Here's the karma. I walk in, and she has to scurry down the aisle away from me to hide. She's ashamed, and afraid, and so she hides

just like a cockroach hides when the lights are turned on


it is funny to watch.

The other day, I went in a second time, with my brother. I'm sure it made her wonder who the OM was with me! And he was great, even though he had no idea he was doing it. I had something in my eye, he helped me get it out. And he brushed hair out of my face, walked with his arm around my shoulder, and hugged me twice - all right in front of her, as she watched from the back.

Her karma now? Trying to figure out who this guy is, and why I'm with him, and where my H is, etc.

Because she has no idea............and nobody knows my brother!


So I made a point of going back twice with him.

And then again this week with my SIL.

And so four times she has had to scurry away, little cockroach.


All the while, I regain my life, my strength, my power,

my SELF.


Knowing, that I am not the person who should hide, or run, or be ashamed.

It is powerful.

SB

The karma bus will eventually turn into a Buffalo Springfield..

That's a STEAM ROLLER, for those born after the 60s...

But for those who really believe in Karma, what did YOU do in a past life that warranted this? :MrEEk:

Mark

Waiting for the Karma bus to stop @ Coho's.

I have often wondered this...musta been a doozy :RollieEyes: