Marriage Builders
Posted By: SearchingHeart Lying Question? - 02/24/03 09:20 PM
Please someone; experienced, lay, or professional! What are some psychological traits that can be observed from direct and indirect expressions in a chronological or pathological LYIER <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Lying Question? - 02/24/03 09:47 PM
Are you writing a thesis?
Posted By: Lor (Lor) Re: Lying Question? - 02/24/03 09:49 PM
There's a pretty good book about liars WHEN YOUR LOVER IS A LIAR I think by Susan Forward.

Some people have traits when lying, some are practiced enough that it is very difficult to "catch" them.

Some I recall as likely traits:
Lack of eye contact or conversely prolonged eye contact or covering eyes with hand (as if having a headache)

Covering mouth while speaking

Facial flushing

Arms crossed (also a defensive posture)
Posted By: Qfwfq Re: Lying Question? - 02/24/03 10:54 PM
lips moving...
Posted By: skyline Re: Lying Question? - 02/25/03 12:54 AM
Actually read an article recently that said when you lie you look to the left, when you tell the truth you look to the right. Why? Because the left side of the brain is for creative thinking (making up the lie) and the right hand side is for facts and figures (trying to remember the truth).

Who knows?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
Posted By: dinotopia Re: Lying Question? - 02/25/03 02:19 AM
The brain is the other way around. Right side of the brain is risk taking and fantasy ,creative thinking...ect..

left side is for reality , factuals and logic.

The left side of the brain , doesnt quite "get" what the right side wants you to get. Thats where emotional turmoil and guilt can stem from from. peoples reactions when they lie are neurologically connected to their bodily movements ( up to I think about 90%+ of our communication is non-verbal). So yeah there are traits . some are concrete in many of us, but others are variable from person to person.

by the way , the average middle aged man tells approx 8 small porkies per day.... wonder why they only studied men eh?
Posted By: 4daniels Re: Lying Question? - 02/25/03 05:18 AM
I dont know my husband has a bad habit of lying to me or , " telling me what I want to hear!" I personally cant understand how people can be this way. When you find out why let me know also.
Posted By: Orchid Re: Lying Question? - 02/25/03 05:22 AM
From Fogese 101:
So...... if the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, then is it true that only left handed persons are in their right mind? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Posted By: SearchingHeart Re: Lying Question? - 02/25/03 09:00 PM
oops!

<small>[ February 25, 2003, 03:08 PM: Message edited by: SearchingHeart ]</small>
Posted By: SearchingHeart Re: Lying Question? - 02/25/03 09:01 PM
Thanks everyone. I quess I asked for the kind of replies I recieved, but they say that "Variety is the spice of Life" And thats just what I got, Hienz 57. The replies were both funny and must interesting to say the least, very informative and enlightening. I been recieving counseling and basically gone over most of what your replies have described. Except for the right brain left brain analysis, or is left brain right brain, Iam going to look into this one for alittle bit though. I'll be back later, thanks alot for all your help. One last question while Iam here; How does emotions, or what emotions would be mixed with defense mechanisms that you can detact lying? Keep indirect and direct in mind, no Iam not writting a thesis, but I guaranty one thing, this is going to get more interesting. I just feel it! Til then Godspeed everyone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ February 25, 2003, 03:06 PM: Message edited by: SearchingHeart ]</small>
Posted By: dinotopia Re: Lying Question? - 02/25/03 10:30 PM
some say to detect lying in an adult one should look for the lack of the usage of pronouns in their answering.

Also negative emotions..eg anger( I think a lot of BS's have seen that on these boards)

and a lack of details... ( I read these last night as your question has be thinking.
)
I guess there is no real lay lie detection , lie detectors I feel will soon be obsolete. And the usage of more advanced brain scans ( pet?? maybe)will be used in the nearing future.Basically mapping what part of the brain is active when answering.

Pathological liars I also read have no idea they are actually lying, so emotion/s would no doubt be null and void. With a pathological liar, it seems there is some underlying mental disorder that is in process.

The brain is an amazing piece of machinery... if I had one I sure as hell would love to study it.
Posted By: devilsadvocate Re: Lying Question? - 02/27/03 03:05 PM
Good question. This is one I asked a 'professional' shortly after I discovered my WS's A. Her response was that you can't.
I think you can tell in your gut. Over the last two weeks since Dday I have felt able to tell with my gut if he is believeing what he is saying. Then I try to check if I can.
Eye contact and body language inconsistent with the words can be an indicator. Inability to provide details only applies to those who are not 'good' liars. It might also be hard for a foggy WS to recall details given their recent state of mind. That right brain/left brain stuff sounds a bit farfetched.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Lying Question? - 02/27/03 09:29 PM
Liars are often emphatic.

Liars often believe their own lies.

Liars have a "good reason" they need to lie.

Liars believe the end justifies the means.

Liars enjoy short term happiness irregardless of long term consequences.

Liars lie about lying.

Liars become angry when they are caught.

Liars are well defended from their conscience.

Liars are hiding their true selves.

<small>[ February 27, 2003, 03:29 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>
Posted By: SearchingHeart Re: Lying Question? - 02/27/03 10:53 PM
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Thanks again everyone! Your time here on this post has been most rewarding for me to say the least. "Liars enjoy short term happiness irregardless of long term consequences." Pepperband, thank you for that EYE OPENER, and all the rest. Everyones reply has been helpful. I've come to learn more from the animal world on this suject in the area of thier defense mechanisms. The reason is; think about it, way do people usually lie? For different unconscious and conscious strategies to reduce or avoid threatening feelings of danger, anger, and protection of EGO! Including denial, repression and rationalization.....STOP! STOP! thats it! I'm going to give this one a rest, I'm starting to feel A BURN OUT, but I shall return. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Lying Question? - 02/27/03 11:00 PM
SH .... I just have this feeeeeelin'......

Are you an "oldie" posting under a new name?
Posted By: SearchingHeart Re: Lying Question? - 03/05/03 10:08 PM
Oldie yes, as in age, but oldie, as in marriage buiders NO! I've been here different times in the passed, browsing looking for help, but no posting.
Whatever gave you that idea Pepperband?

LEAVE AND CLEAVE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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