This thread is started from a tread from Ms. Red Ms Red, respectful OW question ( Hope this worked, I don't know how to insert a link to the thread here, sorry) and all of the posts in reply. Those posts spoke of the WH being selfish and using both the BW and the OW as ego strokes, even if WH really thought they loved the OW, it turns into a balencing game of lies to both BW and OW.

Is it the same for the WW? is an OM in basically the same emotional position as an OW? If I were to send a copy of the Ms Red thread to my WW's OM and say reverse everything, would it all still apply?

thanks for your thoughts

DRS

<small>[ March 20, 2003, 10:29 AM: Message edited by: DesertReStart ]</small>

I think it's the same. But the question is whether the OM has the same mindset as Ms. Red. She's at least questioning her decisions.

A lot of generalities can apply, but not always. A good number of specifics could also apply, but not always.

If you speak in terms of "the OM" and "the OW" and "the WW" and "the WH" as if everyone matched this detailed profile, you're probably doing yourself a disservice and potentially making things worse by applying solutions that may not fit. Not every WW is the same as every WW, let alone WS.

So like I mentioned, a substantial part may apply. But fog will result in using the 3% that is off to dismiss the other 97%. Besides, there were some different thoughts in that thread, so more reason not to take the one-size-fits-all thought too far. Using MS Word to swap every "OM" w/ "OW" and sending that to WW sounds like a very risky idea without more work put into it.

Oh, and people hate being told they're wrong, so unless your WW is asking, I'd be leary of the "edjucating" perception.

I think the selfishness is the same and I think it is a lot easier for a WW to gain sympathy from the OM. I also think OM's are less likely to get in the middle and mix it up as OW's.

Thank you all for the thoughts.

Dobie, your right, if the OM is not questioning anything he will not be open to any input or "edjucating" and EST puts it.

EST, thanks. A one for one OW to OM swap in the text would make it seem odd to say the least. Every one is different of course. Sending the thread to the OM is only in the "too bad I could't send this..." it would show how the OP truly efffects and is effected and that only hurtful outcomes are the results.

I like your analogy of the 3% fog dismissing the other 97% It would be a big waste of time to cut and paste the thread to fit this (my) situation, then the "edjucating" would just nullify all of it anyway.

IDIA, The OM in my situation has stayed away from all contact with me or the family, an unknown except from very early on when they where really just friends. So you think the WW in the middle of the BS and OM will just as likely to be manipulative as a WH?

thanks again for your inputs. Anyone more?

DRS

<small>[ March 20, 2003, 04:17 PM: Message edited by: DesertReStart ]</small>