Question for you dads.... - 07/03/00 10:02 PM
While we were on a little trip this past weekend, I thought I'd steer conversation toward memories of good feelings and important milestones.<P>I asked H how he felt the first time he saw our son (our 1st child). He said, "How should I know? That was almost 29 years ago!"<P>???????????????????<P>My question to you is this: Do [b}you[/b] remember how you felt the first time you ever saw your first child?<P>I'm really having trouble understanding this, because to me, this was such an awesome time in our lives...seeing our very own child for the first time, after spending months wondering what he/she would look like, etc. I remember exactly how I felt...in fact, I remember feeling that way for every child we had, even our precious stillborn babies. When I was holding our last little stillborn daughter, I can remember my H saying, softly, "Oh, you're so beautiful." This man is absolutely crazy about our kids, so how can he NOT remember how he felt when they were born?<P>I didn't ask him how he felt when our living daughter was born, as he was awful to me during that whole pregnancy and even acted so cold to me as I was in labor. He wouldn't even hold her or give her a bottle her after we got home (he was real hands-on with our son ), until I pitched a conniption fit and told him how I felt about it. He got better after that. Also, people were always telling him how much she looked like him (still does!), so he soon became besotted by her and spoiled her rotten. <P>I now believe that his behavior toward me changed at that time because he was probably already cheating. <P>So, <B>do</B> you remember how you felt? Do you think my H really doesn't remember or is he trying to avoid emotional intimacy with me?<P>Bear in mind that this man, not too long ago was telling me about his two pet "racist" roosters that his parents killed and fried because the roosters would hide behind the hedges and attack kids of a different race as they passed (parents were afraid of being sued). He had tears in his eyes as he told me that he didn't eat a bite of those chickens. Can you see why I'm so puzzled by him? He remembers how he felt about those roosters, but he can't remember how he felt when he saw his children for the first time?