I've had it - I give up.... - 07/16/00 09:13 PM
I'm sick of this mess. You Plan A this, Plan A that, meet his needs - well what about mine? I found out that one of my H's needs is admiration. He needs to feel like I think he is the most handsome man on the face of the earth. That's what was so important about the OW - she was ugly, boy was she ugly. Every man treated her like dirt, he felt sorry for her and there he went.<P>Me - oh - I get my share of looks. One guy today dang near broke his neck try to get a look at me. I've near thought I was ugly, I'm attractive, smart, and should be in the next few years on some magazine cover as the woman to watch in the next year. But I'm tired of giving and not getting. I told him that time was important to me, but what do I get - nothing. I'm never with him, he's out with his friends, teammates, or something else completly silly. I did an LB last night, I told him that the OM always took me out. Always spent time with me, made me feel like I mattered. <P>I've finally figured out that maybe marriage wasn't for him. HE's 25, wants to play around, have fun, anything but take care of his wife. There's this song called 'Treat Her Like a Lady', an old title, but new artist. He sings about some poor guy not taking the time to do things for his gf/wife and says if you don't then she'll find someone else who can. I'm not looking for someone else to do it, I want him to meet my needs, but I'm beginning to feel like what's the point. He only works part-time and isn't even really trying to find another job. I'm tired of paying all the bills, working like a slave, coming home at 9:30 from class (grad school classes are only at night in my dept.) to hear, what's for dinner. <P>We talk all this talk about meeting needs, I express mine and he balks! It's the wrong time, I have an alterior motive, I don't want him to go out with his teammates. I'M SICK OF IT!!!!! When is it okay to say I give up? I'm 24, the other day he has the nerve to call me young! My goodness, I took care of my sisters when my mom worked at night (single parent family), I bought their clothes for school when she didn't have the time or money too, I protected them - Do I have to do that for him too? What about me? When does someone say to me, I want to try? When do I matter. Oh he loves me, but not enough to listen to me, not enough to try with me, not enough to make an effort. Isn't the greatest act of love letting someone go too? Sometimes I think the only reason he hasn't left is because one day I'll be rich and famous, on Capital Hill, or running some city's Community Development or Housing Divison. <P>Sorry for the vent, but I'm throwing in the towel. I could care less about his well being anymore. From now on - it's all about me. I'm sick of being unhappy. I don't care what anyone says - one person can't save a marriage if the other one doesn't want it.