WHAT IS SO ENTICING ABOUT OUR WS? - Marriage Builders® Forums

I am trying to make a rough evaluation of certain qualities that make our spouses attractive to OP, in other words, OP MAGNETS.A. EXCELLENT B. GOOD C. AVERAGE D. POOR E. VERY BAD1. confidence 2. looks 3. wealth 4. social status 5. educational level 6. morals 7. flirt 8. ego 9. sex drive 10.sex appeal 11.conservative 12.conversationalist 13.joy of life 14. secretive 15. extrovert Finally do they travel on business - how often per month or year? [This message has been edited by weep (edited September 14, 2000).]

Okay, I was just thinking this one over this morning, so I'll bite.Regarding my H:1. confidence - c 2. looks - a 3. wealth - c 4. social status - c 5. educational level - c 6. morals - b 7. flirt - c 8. ego - d 9. sex drive - a 10.sex appeal - a 11.conservative - b 12.conversationalist - b 13.joy of life - b 14. secretive - c 15. extrovert - cBusiness travel - no, never.

A. EXCELLENT B. GOOD C. AVERAGE D. POOR E. VERY BAD1. confidence - B 2. looks - A 3. wealth - C 4. social status - D 5. educational level - C 6. morals - D 7. flirt - B 8. ego - A 9. sex drive - with me now: C- in new relationship: A 10.sex appeal - A 11.conservative - D 12.conversationalist - B- 13.joy of life - B 14. secretive - A 15. extrovert - AHe does not travel on business, but I do. That's a major problem - he HAS to have a woman with him 24/7.

Hey, Hey, I'm a WS, probably know that by now. I'm having a great day. . .but I wanted to "rate" myself. . .particularly at the time of the affair.1. confidence - zippo, nada, none is there an F category. . .F should be zippo.2. looks - at the time I thought d maybe even E. . .OM thought otherwise, H feels otherwise. . .I think normal people would say b at least I hope they would.3. wealth - I'm not a millionaire but Om seemed to think I had money to spare so I guess at the time it would have been B.4. social status - b5. educational level - I thought A, but now I know there's a difference between book smarts and real-life, bone-headedness.6. morals - again I thought A during the affair E or again F, but I think I'm getting back to A - so maybe b and a half.7. flirt - I am very shy until I warm up to people. . .so I start out as E. but quickly work my way up to A. But my H is way more flirtatious than me and he never had an A - interesting. . .8. ego - think that goes along with confidence so I'd have to go with the zippo rating (f).9. sex drive - at the time of the A - d it was there. . .I just wasn't excited about it.10. sex appeal - I don't know C. I told the OM there were younger, prettier, single girls out there - why me - he was just "attracted to me" so this one could be higher - I don't know, maybe it was the perfume I wore. . .11. Conservative - that's a hard one I'd say C.12. Conversationalist - c - I'm more of a listener.13. joy of life - felt like E at the time of the affair - now that it's over - it's probably higher - today it would be an A - I'm in a good mood - rare for WS.14. secretive - I felt like A at the time, my H would have said E. . .15. extrovert - sometimes A sometimes F.Travel - zippo, nada, nothing. . .Weep you don't have to talley my ratings. . .I don't know that there are any OP Magnets. . .I never thought of my self as a OM MAganet. . .I think this can happen to anyone at at time of weakness. Relationship with God woul dbe a good one for me to take stock of - at the time - obviously nada, now, getting better. . .

My husband would be an A+ in looks, wealth, status, extrovert, education, sex drive (even though I didn't know it I sadly do now), sex appeal, and conservative. He would also get an A for being secretive though I didn't know this either. Until three years ago I absolutely would have given him an A for his morals but now he gets an F! I always thought he enjoyed socializing but come to find out he did it only to escape our boring marriage, according to HER. And it is true that he seems really happy to spend hours and hours alone with HER while we always had to have other people around! Of course he would't listen when I begged for time alone so I don't know what I could have done. Oh and yes he travels on business. But since he owns his own business he didn't have to travel as much as he did. And since they have been out in the open for three years, at least as far as I am concerned but not zillions of other people apparently, he travels alot less. Guess what he was doing on all those trips which totally out of control for the first five years of the affair? Reading this list I guess it's a wonder some OW didn't get him sooner.