Found out a month and half ago about brief affair H had with co-worker/boss. H & I both desprately want to move away and get fresh start, however employment contracts will not allow that for another 6 mos. H is thoroughly committed to saving marriage, NOT in love with OW, and is not addicted to OW. OW claims to be pregnant with his child. Has used this info to try to convince H to leave me & our two children. H wants absolutely nothing to do with OC/OW, has refused to have any contact with OW with exception of only absolutely necessary work-related communication. Need help on how to survive the next 6 mos. until we can relocate to another city, possibly another state.<P>H is so remorseful; regrets hurting me, and I believe truly loves me. Altho my heart has been shattered, I love H and want to rebuild marriage. According to everything I've read on the website regarding total separation from OW, healing cannot start unless total separation occurs. We are not in position for H to totally separate OW, as we both wish. Any suggestions?<BR>

So the OW was his boss? I'm willing to bet that he could get out of his contract if the circumstances were explained to HER superior. If she is bothering him at work, that can be considered harassment. It depends on how he wants to handle it.<P>Lostva and Lor, a couple of MB veterans who are very cool and have recovered from A's, both had to deal with their H's working with the OW (it's very common). Your H is not in any sort of fog about this, that's a good thing. I would Plan A him though, through this six month period (and beyond!) OW are masters (a lot of them, anyway) at undermining marriages and will do dispicable things to try and break them up. I do hope that Lostva or Lor post on this - I think they can help you a lot better than I can.<P>Study the website, keep posting and learning. This site has a lot of valuable resources that have saved and enhanced many, many marriages. Best of luck!

Brava BellE!<P>Legal action is very possible in this situation. It is also grounds for possible advancement for your H. No, not blckmail. Her superiors will want to keep it within the company, and will make a lucretive deal if she is important. If she isn't, then she may be fired, and he may get her job if he is qualified.<P>If not, than lawyers coud get a pretty penny, especially if she turns out NOT to be pregnant. If she is and he cannot prove himself inocent of the paternity, then it could backfire into a paternity suit! But not likely.

The A is not currently public knowledge; given the profession H is in, going public could severely damage chances of future employment in this field, not just for him but for OW, too.<P>When H ended A, OW threatened suicide, expressed fear that I would go public. Claimed to be miscarrying, yet offered no evidence/proof that she was pregnant, assured H that she would not pursue him, was sorry, and that he was not responsible for OC. H assured her that I wasn't interested in making the A public knowledge nor in getting her fired. Both H & I want to avoid hurting our children.<P>One week later, OW is angry, and verbally attacks H at work, threatens to go to superior. Claims H is not taking responsibility for OC. Repeats same attack, but in more low key way the following day, at work. H does not respond/react or communicate, with the exception of dealing with work-related issues.<P>This was a month ago. No more "attacks" since then, however, OW has been "cooly professional". Should this be taken as a good sign, or is it the quiet before the storm?<P>After claiming to be miscarrying a mo. & 1/2 ago, OW maintained afterwards to still be pregnant. Implies she is seeing baby doctor. So far, OW has informed 2 sub-ordinate co-workers of the A, but other than that, they appear to be maintaining confidentiality.<P>So, here we sit, waiting to see how OW plans to unveil pregnancy, if she is, and the aftermath that may follow. . .<P>Sometimes, I feel like my life is hanging by a thread, but H assures me repeatedly and on daily basis that he is committed to me, our marriage, our family and wants nothing to do with OW nor OC, if it does indeed exist. His actions support all that he says & I am confident in that regard . . . it's just that the next 6 mos. cannot fly by fast enough for us to "move on". . .