Marriage Builders
Maybe it's just because I **can** sit here for a few hours a day and read -- but I've noticed something that concerns me.<P>There are many, many newcomers...<P>...and they are primarily the ones answering the other newcomers. <P>"We" (the old-timers) have moved on with our lives with our spouses, or moved to the D/D board, or just moved on and check in occasionally. Gone are the days of <B>K</B> telling everyone who would listen [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] to call the Harley's, or of <B>Lostva</B> saying, "Hon, Plan A is working for me, hang in there"... or <B>NSR</B> saying, "...sadly, I am headed there too..."<P>...yes, they show up now and again, but they have LIVES out there and it was time to focus on that instead of hanging out here.<P>Personally, I go to the ones who are throwing their marriages away for an OP...<P>... or don't want a divorce, but are doing all the WRONG, WRONG, WRONG things, and will get one if they keep on that road... I speak from hindsight. <P>I also can speak to those who get involved in a new relationship. But I can only give lip-service regarding Plan A or B -- I didn't do too well at either of them -- and for those that know me, you know I don't really have a *right* to discuss MB principles (although I do sometimes sneak some in).<P>So, what I'm seeing is one person coming on, saying how awful their marriage is, and when a <B>Sheba</B> might have come on and said, "Oh honey, you need to Plan A him home"... instead they're getting, from someone who hasn't studied the principles at all, "Honey, Get rid of him."<P>I have no idea how to fix this, or what to do. I'm only here so much because I am not working outside the home right now... I finish the laundry, the dishes, the preening [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] and then I come here.<P>Any ideas??<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<P><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 11, 2001).]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/11/01 10:00 PM
Ya know what, Sheryl??<P>I've been thinking the same thing!! <P>When I came to MB almost 16 months ago, not one person told me to quit or give up! Everyone encouraged me and told me to "hang in there!"! (Well, until I told the WHOLE truth about my marriage) Now, so many are doing just the opposite.<P>I did plan A and still do to a certain extent for the kids' benefit. I never went into an official plan B even though I rarely talk to my exH. <P>Let's all try together to get this place back on the right track!<P>Yes, I may be getting a divorce, but I don't consider myself a failure.<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>
I guess in "MB" time I am brand new, but I have given feedback to other new posters occasionally. Although I do not claim to have mastered the principles taught here, sometimes I run across something else. An example would be from a member who was afraid of showng any emotion that would invoke his wife's anger. Well, I may be new here, but I had 7 years worth of that, so I think I was able to offer something useful. You never know what each of us may know...<P>Robyn
Hey <B>Mitz</B>!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I know... maybe bringing this up will help, eh??<P><B>Robyn</B>, Please do not misunderstand... we ALL have valuable insights to offer... that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that when **I** came here, in August 1999, this place was filled with (for lack of a better term) Harley-ites who espoused the principles used by the Harley's. If I came on and boo-hoo'd about my then-H not meeting my needs, someone would invariably (sp?) come on and ask, "Are you meeting his?" Smack!!! That's what I needed to hear. What I'm seeing now is someone saying "My H is not meeting my needs" and someone else, usually a VERY newcomer who hasn't read anything on this site, will say, "You deserve better, get rid of him." The point is, someone in an affair is NOT IN THEIR RIGHT MIND and OF COURSE the betrayed spouse deserves better!! But how to get it without destroying the family?? That's where the CONCEPTS come in.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Sheryl -- You know, you're right. The tone of the board has changed a lot in the past few years.<P>This may sound like an excuse, but for me, I think a lot of it has to do with all the "new" forums. . .Remember when we started here? There was one place to come, you got involved with all levels / stages of this rollercoaster ride, and everyone (ok, there were some exceptions) was here to fight for their marriages. It was very rare back then for advice to be given advising someone to simply give up.<P>I guess I am just as guilty as the other Old Timers who are lurking. I can't make promises, but I will try to do better.<P>God Bless
Good grief, it's <B>ES</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hey, the intent was not to make you or anyone feel "guilty" because Lord knows we do enough of that... I'm just wondering what we CAN do to REALLY help people. <P>On the threads I do answer (and I often stick to the "parties" or threads where I have intimate knowledge, like I said above) I am seen as somewhat of a hard-nose because I don't let anyone "get away" with stuff -- like when they say, "I don't deserve this, therefore I will divorce" and it's only been three days since discovery, you know?<P>I'm really just trying to get "us" (the Oldies) to put our heads together and see what we can come up with.<P>Say hey to your wife for me!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I saw a thread a month or so ago and answered it, but you guys didn't come back on it... hoping all is well with you two.<P> <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: sing Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 12:19 AM
NB,<P>I agree with you. I haven't posted to many of the newcomers because I am afraid my own bitterness will seep over to them. I want to be an encourager. <P>Rick37 needs to get in here. He always posts good Plan A advice & he has done a pretty good Plan A. So Rick where are you?<P>NB, thanks for bringing this up. I love how you tell people like it is. You have been on all sides of these issues & you want to help others with what you have learned. While I hope I would not make some of the choices you have made, I admire the fact that you admit to them, have learned from them & want to help other avoid the potholes on this road. Thanks for all your sharing, your advice, your words of encouragement. Wishing you all the happiness you so richly deserve. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]:<P><p>[This message has been edited by sing (edited April 11, 2001).]
Posted By: KalGrl Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 12:28 AM
Of course people move on it is completely normal I mean why would someone spend time in a place of pain? These boards will continue to exist with or w/o oldtimers and newcomers will muddle thru somehow. The point it is not someone's "job" to somehow direct the content or tone of the posts here. There is a recent trend of "political correctness" that I find disturbing but hopefully this board will self-correct and the pc police will move on.
Hi <B>sing</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Thank you for the kind words!<P><B>KalGrl</B>,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by KalGrl:<BR><B>Of course people move on it is completely normal I mean why would someone spend time in a place of pain? These boards will continue to exist with or w/o oldtimers and newcomers will muddle thru somehow. The point it is not someone's "job" to somehow direct the content or tone of the posts here. There is a recent trend of "political correctness" that I find disturbing but hopefully this board will self-correct and the pc police will move on.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>**I'm** the PC Police? <P>Well, that's not what I'm striving for, at all. <P>Did you read what I wrote above, about how it used to be when someone would come on? It's just that we used to ENCOURAGE marriage at all costs. Now, it just seems like someone comes on, complains about how hard it is, and someone says "get out" before saying, "have you tried what the Harley's suggest"... that's all...<P>You've been around for a while. I wouldn't think that I'd offend you with this.<P>I'm sorry about that, truly.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 11, 2001).]
Posted By: KalGrl Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 12:49 AM
Did I say you were the PC police? My point is that this is an open forum and there is a moderator if things get out of hand. Old timers should not feel guilty if they have a life and can't spend a lot of time here. There are newcomers who will eventually becomes oldtimers. I have been coming here a long time and I actually prefer the way things are now except the PC stuff that has been happening of late.
Posted By: WhoDat Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 12:59 AM
Sheryl, you’ve truly got nothing to apologize for. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I’ve seen these phases happen a couple times here. Unfortunately, there ARE lulls where a lot of the encouragement necessary for helping some of the newer folks is lacking. It’s very sad that there is a revolving door around here, and as infidelity isn’t going anywhere, there will always be people in need of advice on how to save their marriage and build (not REbuild) the life they always should have had.<P>But people DO need to move on. I’ve seen so many people make the same mistakes going through that revolving door, never listening to others who have gone through <B>exactly</B> the same thing. Sadly, these mistakes have to be lived, and too many times I’ve seen experience ignored. While it would be nice to have people well-versed in the most promising principles for saving marriages I ever found around to help, being ignored time and again, knowing what will come next and wishing against all hope they would open their eyes is frustrating. Even more frustrating is seeing them leave in defeat just as a new group comes along who could learn so much from what THEY have gone through... only knowing they would be ignored as well.<P>For myself, of course, I have no real LIVING advice on how to recover from the aftermath of an affair, as I was the WS. I may not have had to Plan A my W from the addiction of an affair, but I sure had to Plan A her back from the brink of the precipice to which I pushed her. Had to prove to her our marriage was worth saving in the aftermath, by avoiding LoveBusters and meeting as many Emotional Needs as possible. <P>A long and hard road. I keep trying to get away from MB myself, and I think once I do, I’ll be able to truly have completed my journey. Just waiting on Chris, [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] and trying not to get sucked into too many of the horrible stories I have seen all too many times in the last 2&1/2 years.<P>I really think it’s just a lull, Sheryl... it’ll pass, and there will always be a good group of people who believe in saving marriages willing to help. The names will change, and the messages may not be as imperative as they once were, but I myself hold full faith in the principles <B>themselves.</B> Nothing preaches better than the successes Dr Harley and his children have had.<P><BR>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die<p>[This message has been edited by WhoDat (edited April 11, 2001).]
Good post, NB, and valid points.<P>I do wish that some of the newer folks would do their reading BEFORE coming in here; this board is supposed to be for support in using the MB principles, and I fear that some people are either getting affirmation that their affairs are OK from some people who may not have done their homework, or else are getting admonished to file for divorce when it may not be necessary.<P>I tend to be very careful about which situations I post to. We all have our specialties; mine is "inappropriate friendships." [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Because my H was not involved in a full blown EA/PA, but rather in an overly intense emotional connection that never really crossed the line, and because I had such quick results, I don't feel it's fair for me to speak to those enduring full-blown affairs.
<B>Hi NB and ES</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com],<P>Hi lady and gent, so nice to see you around again, and yes <B> New Beginning </B> I have seen you posting at the site more. I just haven't had much opportunity to reply to the same threads you are for the following reasons...<P>I lurk here a bunch and do try and post on the threads where I feel my situation or encouragement can help. I also have a bit of contact with a few of the new comers here privately through e-mail...just to do that and encourage. I reply to these posts because I feel I should give back what I got and when I came here in March of 1999 and finally got the courage to register (probably more from desperation) in May of 1999. So many people encouraged me. I feel the only right thing to do is try and give back. Of course you old timers know how emotionally draining staying here can be. It keeps you somewhat in limbo with our own recovery and keeps your thoughts on all of this. <P>I have to agree with <B>Empty Shell</B> though and a lot of the problem is the board being broken up in so many forums. Not that they don't have value, as they do. I know I am usually responding on the "Recovery Forum." The largest problem is there are only so many hours in a day. With so many forums it is just about impossible to keep up on them all. I honestly don't know how our precious <B>NSR</B> did it for so long.<P>I don't answer threads where I feel that I can't help, encourage or pull from my own personal experience to give for instances. <P>I think you'll find a lot of people posting in the forums where they are at in their own personal journeys at this time. I see <B>FHL</B> is on the "Emotional Needs" forum a bit, and <B>NSR</B> is on the "Divorcing/Divorced" forum some. I believe he is also extremely busy keeping up his never ending mission of updating those wonderful "Note worthy" threads, e-mail threads, profile threads and etc. etc. etc. On recovery you will see <B>HGBrawner</B> who also seemingly never gets tired posting to people in recovery. I have seen <B>NerlyCrzy</B> and <B>AlmostHappy</B> post their wonderful recovery stories and encouragement to all. I see <B>CL</B> on her periodically too. Actually she has been responding to a thread where a "newbie" reached out to her. <B>peppermint</B> is posting too and she seems to be here often trying to encourage others as well. I know I have missed mentioning a few others that are actively trying to encourage and help out the newbies. I also miss some of the people I mentioned in my thank you post a while ago. Like where in the heck is <B>Lone Star</B> and a bunch of others? I am hoping and praying they are living wonderfully full happy lives. I even saw our dear sweet <B>TNT</B> here on a thread today I believe!<P>I think another problem is when we "old timers" are in places in our lives that aren't very comfortable or we are struggling with something, well that we only lurk and don't respond much. We feel that we are inadequate to post. Life even in recovery, whether that means healing a marriage or having to move on without a choice, is an uphill battle.<P>I for one feel that Harley's principles are the only way to go. I think they are sound but tough ways to heal a marriage. The thing about the Harley principles is that they need to become a way of life. Just like a diet should be a diet to loose weight but be a life style you adopt.<P>The honey get rid of him, you referred to is indeed a travesty and not what this site is about at all. Too many people here are allowing their "takers" to take over and not working on that huge task of keeping their "givers" in the forefront.<P>So I applaud both of your efforts to get this site back on what we think is the right track. It takes many people to do that. I hope other "old timers" or shall I say the "alumni" of this site will come forward and reply to threads they feel they can help on.<P>The other reason I don't post much here anymore is just like this response is, I say too much! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Go on and on! Hard to post much when you spend such an exorbitant amount of time on one thread. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Oh well I guess when you feel passionate about a subject, then you just are right?<P>I love you guys, and hope and pray that this site does get back to more of the Harleys principles. No matter what way your journey goes, you do end up recovering, either with your mate or not. We used to have a whole lot of fun here along with all our tears, pain and anguish. The encouragement here is what got me through all of this and I believe with all my heart that is why God directed me here.<P>Hugs,<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><P>PS I just read that there's a party going on here and although I have to relinquish the computer to my daughters boyfriend, I am going there to read and join in. Yeah, a party. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 11, 2001).]
<B>Kalgrl</B>,<P>Again, I'm sorry. <P><B>WhoDat</B>,<P>Oh **sigh** I know you're right... and Lord knows how often I have tried to leave -- unsuccessfully, of course!<P>It's the message I see spouted lately, not the people... but you know that. And, of course I know you're right (again!) when you say that the names will change. That's life, huh?<P>I agree about the Harley's... it wasn't them that ended my marriage, or the fact that their concepts didn't work. I am human, and my ex-H was human, and both of us are/were VERY strong-willed. Things might have turned out differently... but they didn't. All I can say now is that I want to help those I can help, treat my ex-H with respect (which is why I rarely dog him on these boards) and build a successful relationship with the new person in my life using the concepts I should have used before.<P>Take care, WhoDat... and it is SO NICE to see you!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
This is the first post I read after a long hiatus....<P>I hope people still find love and encouragement here...and I hope I can help more than hinder.<P>All the best.<P>--HBC
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dazed and Confused:<BR><B>Good post, NB, and valid points.<P>I do wish that some of the newer folks would do their reading BEFORE coming in here; this board is supposed to be for support in using the MB principles, and I fear that some people are either getting affirmation that their affairs are OK from some people who may not have done their homework, or else are getting admonished to file for divorce when it may not be necessary.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Yes!! This is what I was worried about too. Thank you for doing a better job of articulating it!!<P>Nice to see you too, D&C [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hi <B>Samantha</B>,<P><B> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>I have to agree with Empty Shell though and a lot of the problem is the board being broken up in so many forums. Not that they don't have value, as they do. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>This was brought up on another thread, and TheStudent said the same thing. I agreed with her, but there were MANY who did not!!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Like where in the heck is Lone Star and a bunch of others? I am hoping and praying they are living wonderfully full happy lives. I even saw our dear sweet TNT here on a thread today I believe!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Oh, I wonder about everyone too!!! Yes, I saw TNT somewhere too!! <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I think another problem is when we "old timers" are in places in our lives that aren't very comfortable or we are struggling with something, well that we only lurk and don't respond much. We feel that we are inadequate to post. Life even in recovery, whether that means healing a marriage or having to move on without a choice, is an uphill battle.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Oh yes, I soooo agree. I lurked for about a two week period after having not logged in at all for four months. I knew that my situation would upset some, even sicken some. As I wrote my update, I was scared... but a funny thing happened... I was SUPPORTED (for the most part) and it was WONDERFUL. I am thinking again that I should just bow out... after all, I have moved on... I just think that I can help people... <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>The other reason I don't post much here anymore is just like this response is, I say too much! Go on and on!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Hey!! Me too!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hugs back atcha!!<P>Hi <B>HurtButCoping</B>,<P>An "oldtimer" checks in after a LOOOOONG vacation, eh? Nice to see you!!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I hope people still find love and encouragement here...and I hope I can help more than hinder.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>God, me too!!! I **think** they do, though.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<--------------------digging in her pocket to try and find her 2 cents worth [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I am going to confess!!!!! Look out.<P>I don't do a whole lot of posting unless I can say only positive things-ok, almost always that is.<P>I think the Harley principles are great-fantastic-wholesome-and awesome!!!! But this is my second marriage. The first one was awful and I always think if I had come here back then I would have only been hurting myself more trying to follow these principles. My ex didn't care-plain and simple. Sometimes-sadly-some people do need to let go of a terrible relationship.<P>Another reason I don't come here much is because each time I read a newbies psot I cringe inside. The hurt floods back fresh as day 1. As far as I have come I have not yet distanced myself from all the pain. And of course when I feel those feelings start moving in my mind says RUN.<P>But I will do my best to help out and I appreciate your stepping up to say what you did. <P><BR><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."
<B>heartache</B>,<P>Thanks for 'diggin' deep' for that two cents... it was certainly worth a buck or two though!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Thanks too for the kind words...<P><B>HEY, FOR ANYONE STILL READING</B><P>There is a post by "FoolishKat" that warrents attention. I was thinking as I read it that THIS is where that line between Plan A and Plan B blur...the Harley's Plan B is too scary for many to try... so the betrayed spouse forgives until they don't have it in them to forgive anymore... and they end up losing their love -- depleting the love bank -- and then they reach out for love anywhere they can get it.<P>We've seen it a few times around here, haven't we? In fact, some would say that **I** did just that.<P>So, is it the Plan's that falter, or just plain old human nature???<P>Thoughts??<P>**and no, I am not going back on my ADMIRATION of the Harley's concepts or their WONDERFUL work.**<P><BR>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 11, 2001).]
Posted By: buffy Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 03:42 AM
Hey, I thought it was just me....my views seems to be so different from everyone elses...I've not been here as long as some of you guys but I too have noticed the difference.<P>I also agree about the newbies not getting acquainted with the principles first....and too many newbies are giving up after a few weeks because they are not getting the kind of encouragement or maybe even gentle chides on "following the prinicples' they need. <P>I too feel hesitate to give advise since I'm a year into Plan A and still holding but I still support the principles. I also have noticed again that many posts are going unanswered or with only 1 or 2 replies. If I don't reply to a post it's because I don't think I have anything to advise the poster or anything new to offer....but there is always someone who could answered and should...it's our way of giving back to those who were there when we needed help....don't you think?<P><BR>Faye <BR>
Posted By: MAEZY Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 03:59 AM
As someone fairly new here(d-day was 8 weeks ago) I would just like to say that I always wish for replies from someone who's been through more than me, who has learned more and has some real advise to offer me. I would love to see more postings from the older and wiser ones.I have often been tempted to post under recovery instead of General Questions for this reason but feel I don't really belong there.
Hi girls and boys!<P>I agree and disagree! Agree that it seems many new people do not heed the advice to read the MB material (it would answer most of the questions, along with the read-only posts) AND agree that there aren't enough "MB veterans" to go around!<P>I personally don't like comments like "this is an open forum and I can say anything I want" and the "PC police" crack. And don't get me started on all the name-calling and insensitive comments.<P>But I don't agree that dividing into separate forums has been bad. When I joined this forum in October of 1999, there might have been 100 active posters per day and I "knew" them all. That number has grown dramatically and would be unmanageable the old way. Plus, some days I really can't personally deal with the pain of just finding out or the divorcing posts. Many months ago Steve Harley suggested another forum just for vents. I didn't have much of an opinion then, but I would certainly favor it now, especially after NB's thread about fat comments!<P>When I first came to this site, there were just a few newbies and lots of veterans to comfort and advise us. Now that has reversed, and there just aren't enough old-timers to go around. So often people who are smack in the middle of the worst experience in their live are trying to give advice to others in the same horrible place. We would probably all be better off if we really thought about what we have written before we hit that submit button!<P>I don't know what the solution is, but I hope there is a self-correction very soon. There are so many people here that need the kind of care and support that I got when I really needed it, and many of them aren't really getting the help they need. Maybe someone "older and wiser" (in terms of MB) can offer some helpful suggestions.<P>Peppermint
Hi <B>Buffy, MAEZY,</B> and sweet <B>Peppermint</B>,<P>Well, my headache is still hanging in there [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] and I feel like crap, but here I am anyhow!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Lord Help Me!!<P>Thank you for the support... <P>You know what I liked about all being on one board? We all got all sides/progression/success stories that were desperately needed to understand. At one point, I think someone even suggested all OM/OW should have their own board -- it hurt too much to read as a BS. All I know is that I found VERY VALUABLE info from people I wouldn't have read otherwise, because I was new and hungry for love and support. I made "friends" with the least-likely people, like Tired Lady, who "hated" OW, but allowed me into her life. It was absolutely wonderful -- truly. I guess part of that may be because I have the dubious honor of being one of those who's been on both sides, having been betrayed by my ex-H a handful of times. I don't know... I just miss those days...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Hello all:<BR>Just a brief reply. I am grateful for all of the replies to my posts as well as the insights I have gained from reading here for hours on end. It has been helpful to me as newbie reading from those currently in my situation (Dday 8weeks ago) as well as those well into the MB principles like SKM. If it were not for this site, I would have done something foolish like give up on my marriage when hubby broke my heart. Thanks to all of you, I am in for the duration.
Well, <B>Sheryl</B>, you always seem to start the "posers", don't you??<P>You know I agree with your sentiments as I interjected these same thoughts on one of your D/D threads.<P>Here are some of my observations...<P>There are too many "newbies" who are forced to get wise and sage advice from other "newbies", especially very loud and opinionated ones. Over the past few months, I have seen more "throw the bum out" advice than ever before. I've also seen the "I've been in Plan A now for a week and I don't know if I can do it anymore" which is sometimes replied to with the "toss" comment, or urgings to go to Plan B.<P>There are some old-timers who are still here on a regular basis and others that pop in from time to time. One thing that I have noticed is that those who post an announcement of their leaving are usually back relatively soon(Sorry Sheryl, you too). The ones who have seemingly left for good, left quietly. They just slowly disappeared. Where are <B>SDS, RollMeAway, DuncanMac, suse</B> etc.(actually, I think suse was here not too long ago? They didn't really announce intentions to leave, they just drifted away as their lives moved on. Boy, just mentioning those names makes me miss them more.<P>The board has changed, but I don't think the splitting of forums really had a lot to do with it. The volume of messages was just getting tremendous. I can remember times when, on the old GQ I, just listing the last two days could be five or six screens. <P>There are people who don't feel their situation allows them to post in GQ. I am thankful there are other forums where they feel more at home. It's better than dropping off permamently. And you know, it's not that hard to bookmark a few different forums and pop in. I have GQ II, D/D, recovery and EN bookmarked and hit them all each time I am here.<P>I think that in some ways, these forums have come to reflect more and more our society in general. Got a problem? Well, just use the 60 second fix!! Few people have patience any more. Can't fix the marriage in a week? Then dump it and start a new one.<P>As an example, I replied to a post a while back because the BS was going thru a phase with the WS that was exactly what I went thru. I felt the beginnings of a "kinship" and wanted that person to know what they were going thru was not totally unique. The person didn't seem to want to hear from me, I am assuming since I am now 2yrs and 2days post-Dday and not totally recovered. Whereas the other replies were a lot of "quick fixes" and "you shouldn't take that".<P>As for KalGrl's comment about the "PC Police", I agree with her totally. I don't know how many times I have read replies to posts where the poster is complaining that the thread is "inappropriate". In fact, on the D/D board, one regular poster actually convinced the moderator to step in and close the thread because he was offended by the content. He didn't have to read it, but did anyway and then forced his value set on everyone. Made me sick!!! I've also noticed that he dropped from sight very shortly thereafter and hasn't been seen in a long time.<P>Everyone now seems to apologize for when they initiate what they call "off-topic" threads. We are here to support each other and nothing is "off-topic". I still remember the "Warrior Princesses" thread where we came up with a TV show, storyline and characters(from the board). Sure it was off-topic, but it did a lot to ease my mind from the troubles I was dealing with. And it also made me feel closer to a lot of people here.<P>Anyway, my two cents for now...<P>--DeWayne--
Thanks for dropping by, <B>BreakingSlowly</B>, <P>I'm happy that you have found some kind words of wisdom here on MB.<P>Well, <B>DeWayne</B>,<P>You do, as always, bring up some very good points!!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Originally posted by Heartpain:<BR>Well, </B><B>Sheryl</B>, <B>you always seem to start the "posers", don't you??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>I guess that's me... and probably not always a very good me... I have waaaay too much time on my hands lately! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>You know I agree with your sentiments as I interjected these same thoughts on one of your D/D threads.<P>Here are some of my observations...<P>There are too many "newbies" who are forced to get wise and sage advice from other "newbies", especially very loud and opinionated ones. Over the past few months, I have seen more "throw the bum out" advice than ever before. I've also seen the "I've been in Plan A now for a week and I don't know if I can do it anymore" which is sometimes replied to with the "toss" comment, or urgings to go to Plan B.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>This is <B>EXACTLY</B> what I am talking about!!!!!!!!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>There are some old-timers who are still here on a regular basis and others that pop in from time to time. One thing that I have noticed is that those who post an announcement of their leaving are usually back relatively soon(Sorry Sheryl, you too). The ones who have seemingly left for good, left quietly. They just slowly disappeared. Where are [b]SDS, RollMeAway, DuncanMac, suse</B><B> etc.(actually, I think suse was here not too long ago? They didn't really announce intentions to leave, they just drifted away as their lives moved on. Boy, just mentioning those names makes me miss them more.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Oh yeah, I realize this... and how well I realize that I keep coming back despite my "goodbyes" -- Four months is tops for staying away from here since August 1999!! <P>During that four months, I didn't have access as home, but did get to a computer about every other week... sometimes I'd lurk a bit (so I did happen to see the thread that was locked per someones "pc police-ing").<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>As an example, I replied to a post a while back because the BS was going thru a phase with the WS that was exactly what I went thru. I felt the beginnings of a "kinship" and wanted that person to know what they were going thru was not totally unique. The person didn't seem to want to hear from me, I am assuming since I am now 2yrs and 2days post-Dday and not totally recovered. Whereas the other replies were a lot of "quick fixes" and "you shouldn't take that".<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Yes, how well I understand this. In fact, there is a thread on D/D that really upset me -- I've SO BEEN where this woman is -- and she saw me as slamming her when I tell her that she's throwing it all away too fast, that she'll regret it -- and I speak from experience -- regrets suck.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>As for KalGrl's comment about the "PC Police", I agree with her totally. I don't know how many times I have read replies to posts where the poster is complaining that the thread is "inappropriate". In fact, on the D/D board, one regular poster actually convinced the moderator to step in and close the thread because he was offended by the content. He didn't have to read it, but did anyway and then forced his value set on everyone. Made me sick!!! I've also noticed that he dropped from sight very shortly thereafter and hasn't been seen in a long time.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Seriously, DeWayne, I thought she was talking about the "fat" thread -- me and my ego, ya know. That's why I asked if she meant me. This situation that you mention was disguisting.<P>Take care, <B>DeWayne</B>, and platonic-hugs atcha!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 12, 2001).]
Arriving in 8/00, I'm somewhere between newcomer and oldtimer. I have received amazing encouragement from HGB, Peppermint, Lostva, SKM, Marie, HD, and many other "oldtimers." But there are some newbies who sometimes seem ahead of me in this process. I believe they have done their MB homework and are truly helpful. I almost hate to mention names for fear of leaving someone out, but Bill Uphill and oswald in particular amaze me with the strength they have this early in their recovery. They continually inspire and encourage me. Thanks to you ALL.<P>------------------<BR>"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:7
I'm an old-timer 12/98, well over 2000 posts, probably nearing 3000 as some were lost in the great crash of spring 99, I remember it well... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I never really go away, just get quiet or hop around on boards. Sometimes I am sheerly overwhelmed by the number of new people.<P>You know what bugs me? And until someone brought it to my attention as a newbie, I was guilty of it myself, but we old-timers do it automatically. <P>*REPLY to the people who post on your thread.*<P>It doesn't matter if the thread-originator agrees, doesn't agree, developes a sudden inexplicable hatred of the reply-poster [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com], or intends to model their life after the replier [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. If someone replies on a thread, they have invested thought and time in that situation. Even if the replier just offers a hug, a [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com], or "see a counselor, please!"<P>I get easily frustrated if I post to someone and they come back with "Anybody else?" and never address the issues I've raised through hard experience.<P>Since like you Sheryl, I have been both WS & BS...I sometimes feel called to reply on some difficult threads. And perhaps when the poster is a WS, or BS turning WS, they are too foggy to understand what I'm saying.<P>It's easy to agree with someone who thinks like you do, the challenge is "think outside the box" and realize you may be completely off course. MB principles didn't come easily to me, still don't at times (oh those LBs), but they contain a truth that I appreciate.<P>Lor
Thank you new_beginning. When I came to MB last year, all I heard was plan A. Yes I read SAA and I got great encouragement. Now I know it's been a while since I was on last year, but I signed in at my new place of employment under a new name and all I've heard this week is "dump him" and H is no good, "get on with my life".<P>Last year I got encouragement, this time I leave this board feeling beaten and that what I'm trying to do is meaningless.<P>So thanks for the encouragement. Keep it coming.
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 04:05 PM
Hey, old-timers! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P>BTW, Mitzi, I agree - IMHO you are 100% a success!! Whodat - you don't have to be a BS to know your stuff and I've always felt you were amazing. D&C, HBC, Heartache, Peppermint - so good to see all of you here.<P><BR>Another long-winded voice popping up here. (Samantha - I'm probably the ONLY person that is more long-winded than you, 'cept maybe Heartpain! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) Good job, Sheryl, for bringing this up. It's been a telephone and email topic for a long time for a number of people I know. In fact, I recently told someone that I KNEW a couple in trouble right now and though, a year ago, I would hammered away at them until they came here, now I don't. With their personalities and the tone of the board these days, I worry MORE about their coming here. I DID recommend the site to them a while back, I just didn't rave on and on like I normally would have before.<P>I came back frequently once we were past some of the most difficult parts of recovery. For the most part it was to "give back". The people on this site saved my life - literally - and I thought the best way to repay that was to be here for someone else. I was busy, so I wasn't here 8 hours a day (or night as the case usually was [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) like before, but I checked in every day. I still lurk once or twice a week, looking for old friends or for a post someone has emailed me about. I still take every opportunity I can to email people who look me up and have found some wonderful friends that way.<P>But I don't post much. Even when I think I can help. It's not b/c folks disagree with me - heck, that's what I LOVE most abuot this board and how I really learned and grew so much (still doing a bit of that!). <P><BR>I have such wonderful heroes...Kat1, ES and Hopeful (yes the two of you have done wonders), you, my dear Sheryl (I still have the tattered remains of one particularly inspiring post), DuncanMac and Suse, Lonestar and Petunia, SHA, K, Bozo's Deb was the first person to answer my very first thread. So many others, Sheba, Wassi, FHL, heavens, I couldn't begin to name all those who had a profound effect on my life. I miss the wise advice I was given here. I miss the comfort and the kick in the seat that I generally deserved. I miss the HUMOR! Ever notice how a serious post, after all the advice was given and the venting done, could turn absolutely outrageous! It was wonderful! Sure, this is serious stuff - life-shattering actually, but hey, laughing about it is what got me through many a long lonely night. Thanks to my heroes.<P>I found friends here that I will keep for a lifetime. Those true blue friends who will be honest with me when they know I don't want to hear what they have to say, who will let me cry on their shoulder and then ask me how long I plan to wallow! Who, when I brag a bit about how I handled a particularly touchy situation will say "Good Girl!" followed immediately by "Now, how can you do better next time?" I do love you all. Because of the people on this board, I'm a much better person and I learned to recognize that I could always do and be better. I like that.<P>Oh, it's shut up time for me again, huh? Oh, well, I do hope that some of the wise and wonderful that I so admire will pop up here and there - I see many of them from time to time. A lot of them here on this thread. I would like the newbies to profit from their wisdom as I did. I know that my own marriage would not be restored and recovery not gone so well had I not had their experience to guide me. This whole experience is unlike any other and the pain is unimaginable. But it does have another side and we can come out better in the end, whether or not our marriages remain in tact. <P>Love to you (and all other old and new friends)<P>Lori<p>[This message has been edited by lostva (edited April 12, 2001).]
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 04:12 PM
Lor - Good point! I've noticed that too. So many times responses are ignored and a new thread started by the same poster and you can't be sure they even read the first one or just wanted you to go away. Guess it's our "oldie's etiqette", huh? LOL<P>Lori
Posted By: WhoDat Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 04:14 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Samantha - I'm probably the ONLY person that is more long-winded than you, 'cept maybe Heartpain!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>LOL. Lori... it’s funny you should say that, because when I saw there was a post from you, my first thought was, “Maybe I should go get a fresh cup of coffee before I start this.” [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Second thought after reading that line was, “you want long winded... just wait until Sheba gets a hold of this thread!” [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 04:24 PM
Oh, WhoDat, I'm rolling on the floor!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Me? Longwinded? At least you did allow someone else was too! I don't even give myself THAT much credit!!<P>Still laughing....<P>Lori
I have this great response to you guys... and I can't get it to post... I even mention Sheba, WhoDat!!!!<P>I'll keep trying!!!<P>**edit, edit**<P>So, it was toooooo long or something - can you believe it? So, I broke it up... sorry for the kazillion postings by me. Too much of Sheryl is NOT a good thing!! haha [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 12, 2001).]
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Persevering:<BR><B>Arriving in 8/00, I'm somewhere between newcomer and oldtimer. I have received amazing encouragement from HGB, Peppermint, Lostva, SKM, Marie, HD, and many other "oldtimers." But there are some newbies who sometimes seem ahead of me in this process. I believe they have done their MB homework and are truly helpful. I almost hate to mention names for fear of leaving someone out, but Bill Uphill and oswald in particular amaze me with the strength they have this early in their recovery. They continually inspire and encourage me. Thanks to you ALL.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><B>Persevering</B>,<P>I am so very happy you've found what you were looking for here ~ even among the "newbies"~<P>My point was certainly NOT to say there are not **some** wonderfully gifted people who came on, did their homework, did the WORK of working on their marriages, and shared as they went. I know there are good, solid people here who are not "old-timers".<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Ah, my dear <B>Lor</B>,<P>The <B>GREAT CRASH OF SPRING 99</B>, eh? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] You crack me up!! Yes, I too remember it well... but was it spring? I thought it was Fall!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] We lost EVERYthing!!!!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>You know what bugs me? And until someone brought it to my attention as a newbie, I was guilty of it myself, but we old-timers do it automatically. <P>*REPLY to the people who post on your thread.*<P>It doesn't matter if the thread-originator agrees, doesn't agree, developes a sudden inexplicable hatred of the reply-poster , or intends to model their life after the replier. If someone replies on a thread, they have invested thought and time in that situation. Even if the replier just offers a hug, a , or "see a counselor, please!"<P>I get easily frustrated if I post to someone and they come back with "Anybody else?" and never address the issues I've raised through hard experience.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Yes, YES, and MORE YES'S!! Here's how "balsy" I am (sorry for the visual [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) I have gone back and said to the original poster, "Hey, I noticed you didn't mention me"... the last time I said it, was I humbled by the fact that she had simply not noticed my post -- same time posting thing. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Kinda Embarrassing, doncha know.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by singagain:<BR><B>Thank you new_beginning. When I came to MB last year, all I heard was plan A. Yes I read SAA and I got great encouragement. Now I know it's been a while since I was on last year, but I signed in at my new place of employment under a new name and all I've heard this week is "dump him" and H is no good, "get on with my life".<P>Last year I got encouragement, this time I leave this board feeling beaten and that what I'm trying to do is meaningless.<P>So thanks for the encouragement. Keep it coming.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi there, <B>singagain</B><P>You are SUCH A SWEETIE!! Thanks for the kind words! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
It is my HERO, <B>lostva</B>,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Another long-winded voice popping up here. (Samantha - I'm probably the ONLY person that is more long-winded than you, 'cept maybe Heartpain! ) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Oh wait... NOBODY... NO<B>BODY</B> can hold a candle to <B>Sheba</B> for long posts!!! Yeah, we try, but we ALL fall short of the Princess Warrior!!!!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Good job, Sheryl, for bringing this up. It's been a telephone and email topic for a long time for a number of<BR>people I know.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <P>You know what? I was honestly HORRIFIED at some of the respoonses I was reading, that's all. <P>Hey, I'm not one to spout off about *my* success at recovering my marriage - since I didn't - but let me tell you this: David and I treat each other with a kind of respect that was learned through the concepts here, even if we couldn't repair our marriage. I like to think that I perpetuated that by using Plan A strategies (albeit, a bit too late to save the marriage) -- even when he wouldn't/couldn't. Now, we talk civily, not as "friends" but "friendly" and we treat each other with dignity.<P>Furthermore (this sounds like a speech ~ I crack me up! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ), although I won't discuss at length my new relationship, I can say that we use the principles found here as well. I am HOPING (praying, begging God to help me) not to make the same mistakes this time around. I meant business when I married last time (for 20 years) and I intend to make the next marriage last for the rest of our lives.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I miss the HUMOR! Ever notice how a serious post, after all the advice was given and the venting done, could turn absolutely outrageous! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>This is when the salmon-whip recipe came up!!!! Gee whiz, it SURE WAS fun!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Oh, it's shut up time for me again, huh? </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>As far as I'm concerned, it's NEVER shut up time for you!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 12, 2001).]
Lostva/Lori<BR>I'm appalled someone told you your situation was too easy. Even though I was here when you arrived and you entered recovery months before I did, I would never consider your situation easy. Your recovery gave me so much hope, because it did seem during the separation such a longshot, Robert so smitten with PT. Like my 7+ separations...who gets through that?<P>When I read your post above, the line said by Anthony Hopkins in "Legends of the Fall" came to mind. "Screw 'em." But then, I long ago accepted I was not the "nice" MB Lori. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
OK, <B>Lori</B> - Are you trying to say that my postings are not brief, succinct, short, to the point, short and snappy, pithy, laconic, economical, condensed, direct, relevant, direct, breviloquent, compendiary, compendious, close, compact, lean, precise, compact, clear-cut, crisp, incisive and short and sweet???<P><B>Lor -</B> You are certainly right about <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>*REPLY to the people who post on your thread.*<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>One trick that I learned from Sheryl(NB) was to <B>bold</B> each person's name as I responded. It helps to keep track of who I have responded to and who I haven't.<P>--DeWayne--
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 05:10 AM
DeWayne - uhhhhh....yeah! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Lor and Sheryl - thank you, you're both sweet, but I've edited my post. That should not have been included in this thread and I realized it when I read your replies (OK, so sometimes I'm a little slowwwwwwwww....)<P>Luv ya!<P>Lori
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 05:13 AM
Ok, uh, that was dumb! NB, Honey, will you, well, take care of my post in YOUR post. <P>Thanks,<P>Lori
Okay, lovely <B>Lori</B> (notice the <B>bold</B> and learn, grasshoppers! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ), <P>I have edited!!!!<P>Love ya [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B>Oh wait... NOBODY... NOBODY can hold a candle to Sheba for long posts!!! Yeah, we try, but we ALL fall short of the Princess Warrior!!!!<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>do <B>not</B> make me <B>dare</B> you to do a search of my posts...LOL...<P>I am QUEEN of verbosity......I saved them (my posts) to disk....it took 3 disks......honey, if there is a long-winded way to say things and repeat them....<P>think of one word.....<P>Dylan<BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>and I do agree......the newbies need to read the info....and this whole attitude "dump him, you do not deserve this, etc....has got to be met head on by those of us who have SUCCEEDED in either recovering our marriages, or have moved on through the divorce process and have come out from plan B stonger and more whole again....<P>if it ain't constructive, then perhaps duct tape is required....<P>
Yeah, okay, <B>Dylan</B>, you are a <B>bit</B> verbose... but c'mon... we're talkin' about <B>Sheba</B>!!<P>Although... yes, now that I think about it... you can spin a yarn, alright... yep... yes, you can!! {think, think} Okay, I defer... you are in a tie perhaps... how's that???<P>Hugs [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 06:07 PM
She's got you there, NB!!! Hey Dylan! I love chatty friends!<P><BR>thanks, Sheryl.<P>Lori
Posted By: Sheba Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 06:08 PM
You guys are all just lucky that I am at work right now......<P>Long-winded.....indeed!!!! Hmpfh!! lol!!!<P>You know...there really must be something to that thing about ears burning when you are being talked about.....made me check in!!! Actually the boss FINALLY unleashed the multiple locks on his wallet and got a 20th century computer!!! Won't bother telling him that it's the 21st century!!<BR>OR that I sorta....kinda....allowed the ancient relic he had crash and burn!!!<BR>That'll be our secret!!<P>Anyway.......<P>Wait til I get home tonight and REALLY get into what I want to say!!! Yanks aren't playing so I have PLENTY of time!!! LOL!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba<P>PS....jeez...all that for "be back later" - guess you have a point!!!! (tee-hee)<BR>
[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <B>Sheba</B>!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I can HARDLY wait to hear/see what you have to say!!<P>Hey, be careful, little one, it wouldn't let me post the long, long, long reply I had... I had to break it up!!! Who woulda thought!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>By the by, <B>Lori</B>, you're welcome...<P>...and <B>Dylan</B>, I went and checked you out again... oh crap... I don't know... it's close, I tell ya! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 06:54 PM
Hey, Sheba!!!! I emailed you to tattle that they were talking about you and you needed to get here fast! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] You should get it when you get home.<P>You'll notice, of course, that I haven't said a single word about how incredibly long-winded you can be. Not a WORD about the amount of printer paper I've used printing out your posts and kept mum about the how far I have to scroll down to read your posts! You did notice that, right? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Talk to you soon, Darlin'!<P>Love,<P>Lori
don't make post links............
Okay, I give in!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><B>Dylan</B> is the QUEEN of long-winded posts! Long live <B>Dylan</B>, the QUEEN!!<P>Sorry, <B>Sheba</B>, unless you can top the QUEEN, you will hereafter be known as "<B>Sheba</B>, first runner up" (and you will be notified if <B>Dylan</B> is unable to fulfil her duties or poses nude).<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Sheryl,<P>I do agree with your opening statement. I do miss so many of the old posters here. I will say if competence was a requirement for posting, I wouldn't have more than 1, surely not well over 2000. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Lostva, Sheba, WhoDat, so many of you make such a difference. It is so cool to see/hear you guys again and the awful jokes. By the way Lori and Sheba, SKM can hang with you guys, she mosts a "mean" and LOOONG post as well. And like you guys she is soo right "most" [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] of the time.<P>Sheryl, I do appreciate your comments [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com], [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I still love that symbol. By the way if you have over 8 of those symbols in your post, it won't let you post your response. I know I have tried a few time, it has tempered my use of [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>God Bless,<P>JL
Excuse the <I>sexism</I>, but this is incredible!!! Women arguing about who is the most long-winded???<P>OK, now to get my self in trouble...As for the <I>QUEENS</I> of verbosity vieing for the <I>Empress</I> title, this is the way I see it....A three-way tie between Sheba, Lori and Dylan(diplomatic, isn't it). Now here is where I get myself grief. The lengths are comparable but the content is radically different. [insert senses of humor after this point] I would say that <B>Dylan</B> has a more poetic and musical rhythm and feel to her postings. <B>Lori</B> gives the impression of Dr. Phil on a very light dose of Valium. <B>Sheba</B> <I>can</I> come across most like Drill Sergeant Carter(think Gomer Pyle) with a two-by-four!!!<P>Now <B>Sheryl</B> is more like the middle child, causing a ruckus between the older ones and the younger ones.. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Love all of you!!!!<P>--DeWayne--
Yes, well...<P><B>JL</B>, <P>I KNOW, I have tried and tried to sneak (or is that sneek?) in as many of the little fellas as possible. Makes me mad! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I've read SKM's posts... very wise woman!!<P>...and *sometimes* (okay, most of the time) you are a very wise man! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><B>DeWayne</B>,<P>Middle child, eh? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Yep, that's what I'm like!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hey, has <B>Dylan</B> posed nude yet? Then <B>Sheba</B> gets to be QUEEN of the long-winded post!!<P>
<B>JL -</B> You are not being fair to yourself. You have one of the most reasoned, seasoned, rational voices here. Your insight into human nature seems astounding at times!!<P>--DeWayne--
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B>if Dylan</B> is unable to fulfil her duties or poses nude).<P><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>IT WAS FOR AN ART CLASS......AND IT WAS TASTEFUL....AND I NEEDED THE MONEY........AND I GOT THE NEGATIVES!!!!<P><I>damn....I knew that would come back to haunt me</I>
Duplicate negatives, dear <B>Dylan</B>... I have PROOF!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>But... I still do agree, you are QUEEN!! -- well, now that I had to go look at a few of your threads soas not to be accused of being blind to the obvious and forced to look at whatever monster-threads you would have dug up -- whew! -- you can write, woman!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
OK, DeWayne, You made me post. I have not just "gone away". I still lurk every few days or so. I rarely post, and if I do, it is to other "oldtimers", to whom I feel I can offer support or just to let them know that I still care about them and their situations.<P>I have chosen not to get too wrapped up into "newbies". Not for any reason other than I am still trying to sort it all out and learn myself. I am 2 years plus 3 months post discovery. I have been D for 1 year and my exH has been married to the OW almost that long.<P>This place has been a Godsend for all of us. Look at how many of our friends came out of hiding to post! I won't mention names for fear of leaving anyone out, but "hi!" to all.<P>Although I ended up D, I am 1000% glad that I followed the Harley principles to the best of my ability. I also counseled with Steve, which I recommend to everyone, besides the other professional counselling I was receiving to help me to learn how to cope.<P>For everyone here, I pray daily not only fo rthe restoration of marriages, but also for the restoration of SELF. I think it is one of the most damaging things - the loss of "self" that follows the discovery of your S's affair.<P>The value of this place is in the support of each other, and I do see alot of that still here. I think the folks that cycle in and out, help to change the "flavor" of the posts - sometimes encouragement is high, other times it is low. The decision to fight for the marriage or that it is time to throw the towel in is a highly personal decision. I lasted 14 months before I decided to file for the D. I do not rgret one minute of trying to save my marriage. I only have one regret - that my exH would not give our marriage a chance at reconciliation. He and a few other of the WS's, like Distressed's and Nellie's, to name a few, seemed to be able to virtually walk away without looking back. <P>Since I am on a roll, I will give a quick update. I am doing great in many ways. I really think I have a good handle on the failure of my marriage - at least my part. I just got too busy with work and personal hobbies to put my marriage first. The result - I did not fill my exH's need for attention. His need is larger than most, so although I would not say I neglected him, I certainly was probably not giving the amount he needed. He found somebody else to give that to him, wouldn't give me a second chance, and now it is over.<P>But, God always opens another door when the first one gets shut. I have found another fella. It sounds ridiculous to say at 45 that I have a boyfriend, but I do. I am amazed at how the spirit can heal with time and a heart that is open.<BR>My BF is a friend of exH's and I had known him for 3 years before my D. Never would I have imagined we would get together, but here we are. It is really nice to be in a healthy relationship, again.<P>But, I won't take this one for granted. That is why I still come here and lurk. I am determined not to repeat the same mistakes, if I can help them. It is hard, too, to change - to REALLY change yourself. I have to struggle to oovercome my annoying habits. But that is part of meeting anothers ENs. Also, I struggle with the "giver" and "taker" parts, too. I have yet to master the POJA, either. See....I have so much to continue to learn.<P>Guys, the learning is in the experiences and the journey, not the final destination. I keep reminding myself that I can choose whatever path I want. I did not choose m exH's affair and I can't change that it happened and that our marriage broke up because of his desire to not reconcile. Needless to say, that hurt like hell! But, I can choose to decide to learn from that experience, want desperately never to repeat that experience, and choose to go forward and make a happy life for myself. That is what I choose. That is how I feel - happy, again. That is truly what I wish for each and every person here - to regain a sense of happiness and hopefulness about life, again.<P>OK, now did I just win an award or at least an honorable mention in the long-winded posts category?????<P>Desiree<P><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>
Desiree!!!!!!!!<P>thank you for your post......as the reigning queen of rambling (until sheryl cughs up the negatives)..I hereby give you honorable mention.....<P>man, you have been missed, girl........<P>but your post is exactly what I meant....recovery is the hope....if NOT recovery of your marriage, then recovery of self....<P>I know that even if Deut and I were not together still (after almost 2 years here at MB)...I would still be OK.....because I would have the tools to help ME through this mess, and to come out the divorce end stronger, healthier, and knowing what to bring to my next relationship....<P>but NONE of that would have been possible if I had not read the principles here, or if I had been met with disparaging remarks....hell, I got enough of the "leave that cheating loser" crap here in real life...when I wanted logical, sensible advice, I came here.....<P>it's sad to see alot of people being given damaging info and opinions without reading the info on the site....I mean, READ plan A, read plan B.....ask questions...but some marriages are not being helped, they are in fact, being hindered by the UNINFORMED, REACTIONARY opinions from 'friends' here.....<P>that is not what this site is for....<P>the damage done with these attitudes can rip apart a family....even with the damage an affair already brings<BR>perhaps that should be made clear before 'helpful' people open their mouths....<P>I am so happy to hear that you are doing well....and no, it is not ridiculous that you, at 45 have a 'boyfriend'....any more than at 33, I still 'giggle'.....alot......<P>miss you......<P>Dylan
Oh <B>Desiree</B>, it's SO NICE to see you!!<P>Wonderful update... <P>...and yes... I understand being 40-something and introducing my "boy"friend. "Man"friend sounds um, well, like something from the Jungle Book or Tarzan: "Meet manfriend"... blech...<P>I always loved seeing you post... and this has to be your longest, doncha think??? Just had to try for the coveted prize, eh? <P>First Place, since I did cough up the negatives on the Party thread: Dylan<P>Second Place: Sheba<P>Third Place: (3-way-tie) DeWayne and Desiree and Lostva<P>Prizes to be awarded when I say so and not a minute sooner!! I'm thinking about Salmon-Whips and Southern Comfort baskets...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 12, 2001).]
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 09:12 PM
Oh, Desiree!!!! Yesss!! I'm so glad you're here. And a new bf, huh? You go, Girl! <P>I am so glad to hear things are going well for you. Don't think I'll ever forget you, you know?<P>Lurk all you want, but let us know what's happening from time to time.<P>Love,<P>Lori
Posted By: WhoDat Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 10:00 PM
See, this is what MarriageBuilders is ALL about. If the newbies can learn anything, it’s that Dr Harley NEVER promises following his principles will save your marriage. Only that you can save yourself and be happy. Often that DOES happen with the spouse. If so... so much the better. But if not... look at how lucky the NEXT person to come along is going to be! They will have someone who knows how to make a relationship work, and even better yet... knows how to make THEMSELVES happy and work WITH their new partner to have a relationship most can only dream of.<P>Not “throwing the bum out,” not Plan A’ing for a week and then giving up, but busting your butt to better yourself, and hopefully, a better relationship will follow. If not with your spouse, then it happens. But if you’ve done the work, if you’ve done all you can to better yourself by avoiding the LoveBusters and meeting the Emotional Needs of the person most important to you, you WILL come out the other end happier, and a better person.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die
<B>Hi everyone and I mean everyone! Wow, nice to see you all</B><P>This has practically turned into a party in and of itself. I am always a day late and a dollar short. I am still at work (sigh [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) so I can't write much. Even though I have been here alone for a couple of hours now at least. I have to finish up my work and go watch my grandbaby while her parents go away for a romantic weekend. <P>Two days ago I gave my DIL a copy of "His Needs, Her Needs" because she was pretty upset by finding some suspicious e-mails on their computer? (I know, I know! If I catch my son, I'll kill him! Grrrr) It seems though she must have gotten to part of meeting one of my sons's Needs! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] So, I am happy they are off for some romance.<P>I will digress on the longest winded and longest poster here. I am still not sure about that, but if I am not, whew! Great...load of my mind. <B>Sheba & Dylan</B> I can't wait to see who is the reining Queen. We already know <B>Lori</B> is the Queen of plan A. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I wanted to only add that along with Lor's pet peeve about people not acknowledging people responding to them, I have one. That is no paragraphs. Now I am certainly not an English major and wouldn't know how to diagram a sentence if my life depended on it. My spelling leaves tons to be desired as well. Even I, with my limited knowledge can group the current thought I am having and hit the enter key twice. Even if the extremely frantic moments when your heart is pounding while your thoughts are going from one thing to another, please hit that enter key twice so that it starts a new paragraph. What I am trying to say (I told you I am grammatically challenged! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) is that at least for me, when I see a long posting that has no paragraphs, well, my whole brain goes dizzy. I can't concentrate or read what is there. Eventually after a few tries I move on to someone’s post that does have paragraphs. Sorry but you know how that <B>PSABD</B> (post spousal affair brain damage) goes?! I just can't handle all the words and thoughts jumbled up together. <P>I am very sorry if I offended anybody by saying this, as it sure isn't my intention. I just think that I can't be so weird that there aren't others who feel or react the same way I do? So in advance forgive me to those I may have offended.<P>Hugs all, back to putting my nose to the grindstone.<P>Much love to all,<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>Pray and praise the Lord, let Him handle it. All things are possible with God. Even healing our marriages. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by it's me Samantha (edited April 12, 2001).]
Posted By: Guarded Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/12/01 10:51 PM
Just an "old timer" here (mostly lurker now)....wishing to say HELLO to all the other "old timers" that have popped into this thread! Howdy!!!
OK, guys, while we are reminiscing......remember how we used to light candles for each other and had prayer chains going???? I gotta tell you, I have burned a zillion candles to remind me of different people in need here at MB.<P>To those who post regularly now, please read all these posts from the "oldtimers" in the spirit in which they are meant. Most would acknowledge that the purpose of this site is to help others deal with surviving an affair - whether BS or WS. Both are welcome here. People come here loking for help. It is important to encourage people who want to save their marriages. When and if the time comes for someone to throw the towel in, they will know in their hearts. The "job" of the poster, IMHO, is to be supportive, to be a voice of reason and to be the "naysayer" sometimes, too. The value is in getting several opinions and then sifting through the various opinions to help you decide what works best in your own situation. Although each situation is unique, there is almost always somebody else who has or is experiencing the same thing. <P>I believe that the best thing is for someone to give eveything they have towards marital reconciliation. Even if things don't end up working out, at least you know in your heart that you did your best and will have no regrets on that end. I've seen several posts here lately where the posters have regretted moving too fast and ended up divorced. I think that just adds another difficult element to recovery that may perhaps have been avoided.<P>Everybody here has been hurt in one way or another. If we weren't looking for support and ideas, we wouldn't still be coming here. There is no pat answer to post-affair recovery. But, please do keep encouraging the spirit and the principles of the Harleys. I have seen them work for so many people here in terms of marital recovery. And, I have seen them work for so many here in terms of personal recovery, even some of those whose marriages have ended.<P>One final thought - since K isn't here - do encourage others to counsel with the Harleys! It brings a whole new dimension to living these principles!<P>Love to all, Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 12:37 AM
An MB oldtimers' reunion. Cool! <P>Hi everybody! I've been here for a year, can I join in?<P>So weird. I usually "live" in "In Recovery" and occasionally in "Emotional Needs", rarely come to "GEII" but for some reason popped in...<P>If I could get paid, I'd "talk" to people, spouting off MB principles and give encouragement as my full time job. I'd joyously work double shifts! <P>Hey, Moderator! Where can I get an application? That would be my dream job!<P>How can we help correct what's happening? Hmmm. Personally, I'd wish people would have to read a principle or Harley message once a day before being allowed to enter the forum. <P>Maybe have ticker tape messages of same running across the top of the screen...<P>Possibly having easier access to related articles <I>on the same page as the forum</I>...<P>I'd like to see the moderators jump in with a topic once a day or so that we could all chime in on and explain our related experiences. Maybe that would cut down on all the duplicated postings by the various newbies--give more consistency and easier access to the answers they seek...<P>Just brainstorming. <P> <BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WhoDat:<BR><B>See, this is what MarriageBuilders is ALL about. If the newbies can learn anything, it’s that Dr Harley NEVER promises following his principles will save your marriage. Only that you can save yourself and be happy. Often that DOES happen with the spouse. If so... so much the better. But if not... look at how lucky the NEXT person to come along is going to be! They will have someone who knows how to make a relationship work, and even better yet... knows how to make THEMSELVES happy and work WITH their new partner to have a relationship most can only dream of.<P>Not “throwing the bum out,” not Plan A’ing for a week and then giving up, but busting your butt to better yourself, and hopefully, a better relationship will follow. If not with your spouse, then it happens. But if you’ve done the work, if you’ve done all you can to better yourself by avoiding the LoveBusters and meeting the Emotional Needs of the person most important to you, you WILL come out the other end happier, and a better person.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>This is why I've always respected you so much, WhoDat!! You always tell it like it is -- and also have the capacity to see the good in people.<P>Thanks for the lovely message...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by it's me Samantha:<BR><B>Hi everyone and I mean everyone! Wow, nice to see you all</B><P>This has practically turned into a party in and of itself. I am always a day late and a dollar short. I am still at work (sigh [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) so I can't write much. Even though I have been here alone for a couple of hours now at least. I have to finish up my work and go watch my grandbaby while her parents go away for a romantic weekend. <P>Two days ago I gave my DIL a copy of "His Needs, Her Needs" because she was pretty upset by finding some suspicious e-mails on their computer? (I know, I know! If I catch my son, I'll kill him! Grrrr) It seems though she must have gotten to part of meeting one of my sons's Needs! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] So, I am happy they are off for some romance.<P>I will digress on the longest winded and longest poster here. I am still not sure about that, but if I am not, whew! Great...load of my mind. <B>Sheba & Dylan</B> I can't wait to see who is the reining Queen. We already know <B>Lori</B> is the Queen of plan A. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I wanted to only add that along with Lor's pet peeve about people not acknowledging people responding to them, I have one. That is no paragraphs. Now I am certainly not an English major and wouldn't know how to diagram a sentence if my life depended on it. My spelling leaves tons to be desired as well. Even I, with my limited knowledge can group the current thought I am having and hit the enter key twice. Even if the extremely frantic moments when your heart is pounding while your thoughts are going from one thing to another, please hit that enter key twice so that it starts a new paragraph. What I am trying to say (I told you I am grammatically challenged! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) is that at least for me, when I see a long posting that has no paragraphs, well, my whole brain goes dizzy. I can't concentrate or read what is there. Eventually after a few tries I move on to someone’s post that does have paragraphs. Sorry but you know how that <B>PSABD</B> (post spousal affair brain damage) goes?! I just can't handle all the words and thoughts jumbled up together. <P>I am very sorry if I offended anybody by saying this, as it sure isn't my intention. I just think that I can't be so weird that there aren't others who feel or react the same way I do? So in advance forgive me to those I may have offended.<P>Hugs all, back to putting my nose to the grindstone.<P>Much love to all,<P><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hey, I agree about the paragraphs, actually. But then again, did you ever read anything my poor ex wrote? Poor guy had no grammatical expertise... some people are like that, writing is not their strong suit... they're stream-of-consiousness writers! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I guess we'll gently tell folks to pa-lease use paragraphs, eh??<P>Hugs to you!!<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Survivor [aka_NoTrust]:<BR>[B]Just an "old timer" here (mostly lurker now)....wishing to say HELLO to all the other "old timers" that have popped into this thread! <P>Hi, Hi, Hi to you!!!<P>I know, it's neat to see everyone. But I did call them, didn't I???<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roll Me Away:<BR><B>OK, guys, while we are reminiscing......remember how we used to light candles for each other and had prayer chains going???? I gotta tell you, I have burned a zillion candles to remind me of different people in need here at MB.<P>To those who post regularly now, please read all these posts from the "oldtimers" in the spirit in which they are meant. Most would acknowledge that the purpose of this site is to help others deal with surviving an affair - whether BS or WS. Both are welcome here. People come here loking for help. It is important to encourage people who want to save their marriages. When and if the time comes for someone to throw the towel in, they will know in their hearts. The "job" of the poster, IMHO, is to be supportive, to be a voice of reason and to be the "naysayer" sometimes, too. The value is in getting several opinions and then sifting through the various opinions to help you decide what works best in your own situation. Although each situation is unique, there is almost always somebody else who has or is experiencing the same thing. <P>I believe that the best thing is for someone to give eveything they have towards marital reconciliation. Even if things don't end up working out, at least you know in your heart that you did your best and will have no regrets on that end. I've seen several posts here lately where the posters have regretted moving too fast and ended up divorced. I think that just adds another difficult element to recovery that may perhaps have been avoided.<P>Everybody here has been hurt in one way or another. If we weren't looking for support and ideas, we wouldn't still be coming here. There is no pat answer to post-affair recovery. But, please do keep encouraging the spirit and the principles of the Harleys. I have seen them work for so many people here in terms of marital recovery. And, I have seen them work for so many here in terms of personal recovery, even some of those whose marriages have ended.<P>One final thought - since K isn't here - do encourage others to counsel with the Harleys! It brings a whole new dimension to living these principles!<P>Love to all, Desiree<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh yeah, the candles... it was beautiful!! It's so very nice to see you, Desiree. You sound wonderful!!<P>K is around on occasion. I guess he's just working on his own marriage and not hanging around here so much. How dare he!!??<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B> eh??<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>ROTFLMAO..........snort!!.......<P><BR>you're such a canadian now......<P>eh??!?<P><BR>LOL<BR>LOL<P><BR>Dylan
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leilana:<BR><B>An MB oldtimers' reunion. Cool! <P>Hi everybody! I've been here for a year, can I join in?<P>So weird. I usually "live" in "In Recovery" and occasionally in "Emotional Needs", rarely come to "GEII" but for some reason popped in...<P>If I could get paid, I'd "talk" to people, spouting off MB principles and give encouragement as my full time job. I'd joyously work double shifts! <P>Hey, Moderator! Where can I get an application? That would be my dream job!<P>How can we help correct what's happening? Hmmm. Personally, I'd wish people would have to read a principle or Harley message once a day before being allowed to enter the forum. <P>Maybe have ticker tape messages of same running across the top of the screen...<P>Possibly having easier access to related articles <I>on the same page as the forum</I>...<P>I'd like to see the moderators jump in with a topic once a day or so that we could all chime in on and explain our related experiences. Maybe that would cut down on all the duplicated postings by the various newbies--give more consistency and easier access to the answers they seek...<P>Just brainstorming. <P> <BR> </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi!! Of course you may join in!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><BR>I love the ticker tape idea!! Also, the moderators jumping in with a "topic of the day" would be neato!! Oh heck, I like the idea of having to read a concept a day too... gosh, what GREAT ideas!!<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by soulloss:<BR><B> <BR>ROTFLMAO..........snort!!.......<P><BR>you're such a canadian now......<P>eh??!?<P><BR>LOL<BR>LOL<P><BR>Dylan</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Did I tell you today what a BRAT you are?? I love you, Dylan!!!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
I'm so sorry that I couldn't put all the responses together... I just added FIVE replies... I hate that!!<P>Where's <B>Sheba</B>? Where's this monster post she's *suppose* to be writing? Humph!! Maybe she defaulted to <B>Dylan</B> and got afraid?? She couldn't possibly compete??? tee hee [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] and [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
I LOVE YOU TOO SHERYL!!!!!!<P>that is another thing to impress upon the newbies....<P>Some of the best and closest friendships are made right here..NEVER let ANYONE tell you that this is JUST a message board....<P>I CANNOT imagine my life without some of these people in it....they have SAVED my life and sanity more times than I can recall....<P>((((((((((((((((((group hug)))))))))))))))))<P>aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.........
Posted By: Sheba Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 02:17 AM
Dang NB.....give me some time would ya?<P>Already spent 3 hours with MB people on the phone and now have to clear my head to make room for this.<P>When I have completed my preparation - printing out of this WHOLE thread..reading it and noting the proper needed responses to these slanderous references made to my good name - I will get to creating my - perhaps detailed reply, but surely NEVER long-winded!! LOL!!!<P>Patience is a virtue....don't ya know!!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba <P>
Posted By: K Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 02:48 AM
<B>The news of my demise is a bit premature...</B><P>Heck, my wife has been out of town, and I'm running around like crazy taking care of kids and dogs---and I missed out on this (terrific) thread!<P>I really have had to cut back on MB boards---and I've really started to limit my advice to new posters, simply because I get very involved with checking up on them and giving them feedback. I usually limit myself to the ones that look like they can use a nudge in Steve's direction... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. I can't believe the counseling is up to $120 a session---when I started it had just moved from $45 to $60. It's still a bargain: I remember having an appointment with Michele Weiner-Davis, and she was $225 at the time (and that was years ago).<P>I'm with the consensus that reading and rereading this whole site (with the exception of the forum) is one of the best things a beginner can do. When I started, this site was basically the concepts and the Q&A sections---no forum. And between the website, Harley's books, and Steve's counseling, I got moving in the right direction in a hurry. I do really worry that this forum, without the advice and guidance of "experienced" MBers, can end up causing more confusion and uncertainty about what path to take. But I simply don't currently have the 4-6 hours a day that it took for me to post like a madman. <P>Oh well---it's still great to get around here on occasion, and it's terrific to see all of you wonderful people giving a damn!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
<B>to Dylan, Sheba and Sheryl</B><P>LMAO, you guys are great. Love your banter and the obvious love you have for each other. It's great.<P><B>Sheryl</B><P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I guess we'll gently tell folks to pa-lease use paragraphs, eh??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <P>You said it better than me, thanks. Sometimes I can be such a buffoon.<P><B>Dylan</B><P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I LOVE YOU TOO SHERYL!!!!!!<BR>that is another thing to impress upon the newbies....<P>Some of the best and closest friendships are made right here..NEVER let ANYONE tell you that this is JUST a message board....<P>I CANNOT imagine my life without some of these people in it....they have SAVED my life and sanity more times than I can recall....<P>((((((((((((((((((group hug)))))))))))))))))<P>aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.........<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You said a mouthful girl. I can't tell you how many people have told me that and even my beloved husband. One day I said you know honey that if it hadn't been for God leading me there and the people at that "plain old web site" we wouldn't be where we are, in recovery and I wouldn't have made the changes either. I think that got him to realize how real it is. <P>I totally agree at this time in my life, my friends here are my best friends and they haven't abandoned me yet because I am not always comfortable to be around, or because I might have something contagious! (Infidelity)<P>Love all you guys, your really are the best.<P>I still light the candles and helped start that tradition here. <B>TNT</B> used to worry I would burn the house down after I lit them and went to sleep or left the house with them burning. LOL<P>Nighty nite and big hugs,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 12, 2001).]
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 03:23 AM
Sheesh... I'm insulted. Granted, I didn't take the "Plan B" advice, but nobody even mentioned me in the SIX PAGE THREAD????<P>:sigh:<P>I have been trying to post to the newcomers when I can. For all that I made the decision not to go to Plan B and that my Plan A didn't have the result we all hope for, I still believe in and truly DO understand the Harley principles. It IS so incredibly frustrating, however, to post a response and have it be completely ignored. I've developed a kind of "three strike" rule for myself in that regard - I will post messages of support to newcomers and I am happy to continue posting to them if they at least acknowledge at some point that I posted at all. But if they ignore me completely, and especially if they ignore me and answer posts all around me, it's quite frustrating. I will post twice more. If I get the same non-response or non-acknowledgement, I will devote my energies to someone else... I don't even mind if they post back that they think I am wrong, because at least I know they read my post, and that possibly I may have helped them think of another point.<P>My reasoning isn't mean-spirited in any way - I simply have seriously limited time to be here and have to use it in ways that I think are most productive. I am working 12 hours a day 3 days a week and sometimes all 5 days a week... and I work on Saturdays as well. In my spare time at home I am coding web pages... I don't get to play much!<P>Anyhow ... I decided I needed to remind y'all that I am still here - and that I've been here since ... since ... well, it has been so long that I've forgotten just how long it has really been! October 1998 - that's it!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 03:28 AM
Samantha ... would you please email me? **edit** <BR>I have something I'd like to talk to you about... please [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Terri
<B>K</B><P>Hey there <B>Big Masculine Man</B>. I am so glad you put the rumors to rest on your demise. LOL <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I'm with the consensus that reading and rereading this whole site (with the exception of the forum) is one of the best things a beginner can do. When I started, this site was basically the concepts and the Q&A sections---no forum. And between the website, Harley's books, and Steve's counseling, I got moving in the right direction in a hurry. I do really worry that this forum, without the advice and guidance of "experienced" MBers, can end up causing more confusion and uncertainty about what path to take. But I simply don't currently have the 4-6 hours a day that it took for me to post like a madman. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I have to agree and I know someone else mentioned that a time or two already.<P>I know the first thing I did was read all of this site except the forums and printed out every single page. I to this day have a full three ring binder of this site, that doesn't include one thread or post. In fact it has so much of what is in SAA that if you can't afford the book you can print his and still have nearly all of it. You may run out of paper or printer ink if your low, but it does work!<P>It is just like school to pass the test you have to do the homework and read the text books. For me the final exam is still a work in progress. Harley's principles aren't just for recovering a marriage but a life change.<P>The time spent posting can be huge and naturally we can’t spend all the time here we used to and have a marriage and life. I am currently an afternoon shift widow and that gives me more time. Hopefully though that will change soon and I won’t have the time to come here as much either. Not that I don’t want to come here, but sure would be nice to have the hubby home with me instead of literally only seeing him on weekends. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Take care <B>K</B> was great to see you again. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 13, 2001).]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 04:01 AM
You guys!<P>Just wanted you to know that I've loved reading this! Haven't had a lot of spare time but I have been able to catch up.<P>This is the kind of thread that I've loved most about MB! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Oh and Lori, Thanks! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Love ya,<BR>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
<B>Terri</B><P>I did e-mail you and even started a thread to you? I am hoping all is okay? Looking forward to hearing from you.<P>Hugs,<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 12, 2001).]
<B>Mitzi</B><P>So nice to see you! If you have been around and I have missed that, sorry. I just don't get to all the threads like I used to.<P>This is a wonderful place isn't it?<P>Hugs,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 12, 2001).]
Howdlee doodlee neighbors!<P>I’m still around. Don’t post much at all anymore. Usually I only read a few messages a week.<P>It gets tiring reading the same thing over & over & over & over. Sometimes I really feel like letting a few people here have a piece of my mind (not that there is a great deal to go around [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]) because of the extremely poor & childlike advice which is given ie, “Get back at ‘em NOW!” <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out **edit**
Hello everyone..<P>I skipped the bold print cuz I don't know how to do it.<P>I read this BB often...I may have posted once or twice. So infrequently that I forgot my p/word.<P>My marriage is now in recovery after 18 months of seperation [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. I usually post on Michelle Weiner-Davis' forum.<P>I truly believe that my marriage is at this wonderful stage due to "Plan A". I read everything that Dr. H had to say. I read it more than once. If you want to understand something it is important to read all instructions first.<P>I will still post on Michelles site because, I feel that I have to give back. I remember my first days there. The motto was dont give up. If it's not working try something different or do nothing at all for a time.<P>I am so very grateful for "oldtimers" who always gave me positive encouragement and support. Heck, my H is probably also grateful. The only thing is, is that he doesn't know about the wonderful people at the marriage sites.
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 10:49 AM
Samantha,<P>Yep! I've been around. Usually I hang out on the D/D board, but I lurk here. I rarely start my own threads but I do reply some. This whole site has been such a blessing to me!<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>
<B>desiree -</B>Girl it is good to hear from you again. I feel like a magician, I just mention your pseudonym and here you are!! I'm very glad to know things are starting to go your way. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>What is it with people born in our year(didn't know how old you were until now...we are the same age, as is one other "long-winded" poster who shall remain nameless, but I always thought of you as much younger than I)?? I must get an old newspaper and read the horoscope for my birthday. Maybe it would have warned me about this.<P>Anyway, hearing from you brings back a lot of fond memories of '99. You and several others are the only reasons I had any fond memories of that year and I will be forever grateful. You guys even had me lighting candles! Now "That's Incredible"!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Love you bunches!!!<P><B>terri -</B> I know you won't believe this because it's too late, but I very nearly mentioned you in one of my previous posts. You have earned a lot of respect here and from me. Your advice has always been measured and right on, which I find incredible given your personal situation. You have a lot more strength than I, that's for sure. As an old friend of mine in high school used to say,(this doesn't sound right with out the vocalization) "You strong like bull, MOO!"<P><BR>I have seen posts recently complaining about the fact that there is even a D/D board here. <B>Whodat</B> was absolutely right!! There are many people there who can rightfully be called success stories. Maybe even better examples than some of us who are not(yet) divorced. <B>Mitzi</B> is one(luv ya, girl), <B>Desiree, WilliamJ, Tim(Medic), Bob(RWD)</B> and many others(the ones I mentioned are the ones I came to know over the last two years) also qualify as "successes" even though their marriages failed. I have learned as much from them as I have from successes like Sis and dMac(You know this is hard, once you start "name-dropping" you know you are going to forget people you should name...Oh, well).<P>Gotta get some work done, now...I see we are still waiting on Warrior Princess #1 to start swinging that frozen salmon! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>--DeWayne--<p>[This message has been edited by Heartpain (edited April 13, 2001).]
Posted By: Lu Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 11:57 AM
Hi there,<P> I'm sort of an oldtimer and try to keep the Harley concepts in mind....I'm constantly amazed how the story is the same OVER and OVER.<P>Now to the real reason I'm posting.....IS K "a lady"? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I saw in Samantha's post where she called him a "lady"!! I've personally thought(along with others) that he might be Steve Harley in disguise! LU<BR>
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 12:11 PM
Hey DeWayne!<P>I, for one, am very grateful for the D/D board! Once I was into the divorce process, I felt a little out of place with ones who were just finding out about the affairs. I could relate but it became so hard to move forward when most of what I was reading was fresh, raw pain. <P>On the D/D board, we've been able to help each other through the painful and sometimes, slow process of divorce. We've supported each other through court hearings, custody and visitation arrangements and for some, dating again. And I've been able to hopefully help a few who were victims of domestic violence. Plus we've had a ball on the MEGA-THREAD! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>There are a few who I wish would have tried to Plan A longer and follow the principles, but we all have our breaking points. But if some of the people here can Plan A for 18 months-2 years, everyone can do it for at least 6 months!!<P>God! I love this place! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Sheba Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 01:04 PM
OK.....so I was on the phone for another 2 hours (NO - I was not doing ALL THE TALKING!!)- then fell asleep printing out this multiple paged thread........stop copying all the replies will ya? You're using up my ink and paper!!!!<P>At least I had the foresight to set the alarm to this ungodly hour and make sure I write you something.....HAPPY? BTW - am doing this with no java - ran out of milk!! - NOT a good thing!!!! LOL!!!<P>Keeping that in mind for fair warning - onto the topic of this reunion thread...<P>Glad you brought this up.....WhoDat is right....definitely phases of the board. About a year or so ago, some of us had a similar idea to band together and form some "plan of action" to attempt a turn around for the negativity and misdirection the forums were stuck in then. <P>Worked for a bit.....<P>But, as with anything that has so many factors involved, it won't stay "steady" and upbeat all the time no matter what we attempt. We were lucky when we first started........at least I think so. <P>We had requested - back when the boards were revamped - that Read Only posts go back to the beginning of this site.....haven't seen it yet, so am assuming they aren't going to do it. Shame, cuz so much good insight and influence is back there to help. Add that to the Wonderful Work NSR (THANK YOU DARLIN'!!) put in on his compilation of resources and there is a complete self-help package at the ready to get anyone going in the right direction with their understanding, encouragement, direction and problem-solving needs......without having to be directed by just the current "phase" of the forums.<P>I was like a few others when I first started....read EVERYTHING - multiple times. Printed it all out.....2 huge binders full. Made notes on what I wanted to try to clarify with the people on the forums. <P>THEN I went to the boards....when I KNEW what this place was about. At least as much as my confused, pain-ridden mind was capable of grasping anyway. I lurked for a bit.....just to get a feel of the site, the people, the atmosphere.....<P>When I posted to someone, I searched their previous threads/posts to make sure I was aware of their story....got a sense of who they were....and had some inkling of what kind of encouragement they needed. <P>When I requested insight, I tried to make sure I was as specific as possible about what I was looking for : ie...certain situation experience, principle clarification, encouragement for ??? or simply venting.<P>I think a lot of folks acted similarly at that time......it seems that there was an overall aura of respect and consideration for the principles and the people that is sometimes now looked at as being stifling or judgemental to some. <P>I remember there was one person that seemed to attract a "rigamaro" whenever they showed up.....when I first saw people going at it - I was horrified......<P>BUT I didn't know what the history was so I stayed out of it.....had no business butting in till I AT LEAST knew what the fussing was all about.<P>I think that is a very good practice - lotta people want to talk, how many want to listen...let alone try to put themselves in another's shoes to help understand where they are coming from?<P>I haven't been a daily poster for a long time now.....WHY? Cuz my situation required me to not focus on marriage/relationships on a daily basis. Oh, I was stubborn about it.....didn't want to leave this safe and wonderful place that had kept me together for so long. <P>But it's always been about focus for me. For those who know me, you know that when I have something in my head - I have to work it through entirely before I can get it out of there and refocus on something else that I need to. Hate things hanging - that's how I lived for the few years before MB when things started unraveling. Too Much uncertainty....throws me completely off balance and keeps me confused and paralized. <P>I noticed it before I stopped posting with some consistancy....I would forget to respond to my threads, say I would be back on someone's and then forget till days later. I would be talking with someone and then wake up in the middle of the night panicked cuz I didn't check to see what they had said that day...Guilt, Guilt everywhere!!!!<P>It was too much....couldn't focus on living daily without a marriage and still being so focused on it for MB.........<BR>ESPECIALLY when things got/get so negative. I don't "do" negative very well!!!! After all, I am the one told that I was "too damn sunny all the time" LOL!!!!! <P>That brings me to what Heartpain (Hey Honey!!!) said - that I can come across like Sgt Carter......I didn't like that about myself. I was so engrossed with making sure everyone realized what I did so they could overcome their pain, that I started dictating just like a little Hitler!!!! NOPE....not me!!! YUCK!!! Didn't feel good with it and had to stop.<P>It was all simple frustrations.....but ones that I had to overcome before continuing to "help" here......that was not helping!!!<P>Enough for now.....need java!!! Going to go get that milk. Got plenty more to say - there's a shocker, huh?<P>God, it's early....Dunkin Donuts is open 24 Hours right?<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba <P>
Hey <B>k -</B> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>K Hey there lady. I am so glad you put the rumors to rest on your demise.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Did you have a sex-change recently? Could be the start of a <I>very</I> interesting thread. Just wanted to say that I have noticed that you were very good at keeping up with the people you shared your wisdom with. <B>JL</B> does the same thing. I never figured out where you guys found enough of yourselves to share so much time and effort with others. There are not many of your kind.<P><B>Sheba -</B> My dear Warrior Princess, I never intended my "Sgt. Carter" comment as a slur. I meant it as a complement. Don't go apologizing for your optimism. There were many times you kept me going with your positive outlook. And I needed those slaps with the frozen salmon every once in a while to shake me out of a funk. We sure have had some fun along with sharing our pain. This place and you guys saved me.... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><B>Mitzi -</B>Yeah, I know about the MEGA-THREAD. I've probably ready every reply to that post. I'm glad you started it because you guys over there needed that release and fun!!<P><B>Sheryl -</B>Thanks dear friend for starting this post. Many, many "platonic" hugs to you!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] BTW, your new man does know about these platonic hugs, right?!? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<p>[This message has been edited by Heartpain (edited April 13, 2001).]
<B>K</B><P>I must apologize about mistaking you for a woman. Please forgive me. I have been properly chastised for that error. There is another person whom I can't remember right now <B>PSABD</B> that I thought was a woman for a very long time and so did a few others. I am so sorry if I offended you or others by my error? <P>Maybe when someone comes across as sensitive and caring, I mistakenly assume they are a woman? Not fair I know, but then again you wonderful men on this site are from what I can see as the rarity in this world. Certainly not the majority.<P>So again I apologize. <P>I am still so very grateful for this site and the friends I have made here. Even though now I feel like an A$$. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hugs,<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 13, 2001).]
<B>K</B><P>I edited my post. It clearly shows you are a man! Again sorry.<P>Hugs,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 13, 2001).]
Oh <B>Samantha</B>,<P><B>K</B> is probably gonna laugh his head off when he sees that you thought he was a lady for awhile!! He DOES have a sense of humor, believe me!!!<P>Okay, now I'm gonna go back and reply to everyone's thread!!! Be back!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by K:<BR><B>The news of my demise is a bit premature...</B><P>Heck, my wife has been out of town, and I'm running around like crazy taking care of kids and dogs---and I missed out on this (terrific) thread!<P>I really have had to cut back on MB boards---and I've really started to limit my advice to new posters, simply because I get very involved with checking up on them and giving them feedback. I usually limit myself to the ones that look like they can use a nudge in Steve's direction... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. I can't believe the counseling is up to $120 a session---when I started it had just moved from $45 to $60. It's still a bargain: I remember having an appointment with Michele Weiner-Davis, and she was $225 at the time (and that was years ago).<P>I'm with the consensus that reading and rereading this whole site (with the exception of the forum) is one of the best things a beginner can do. When I started, this site was basically the concepts and the Q&A sections---no forum. And between the website, Harley's books, and Steve's counseling, I got moving in the right direction in a hurry. I do really worry that this forum, without the advice and guidance of "experienced" MBers, can end up causing more confusion and uncertainty about what path to take. But I simply don't currently have the 4-6 hours a day that it took for me to post like a madman. <P>Oh well---it's still great to get around here on occasion, and it's terrific to see all of you wonderful people giving a damn!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hey <B>K</B>,<P>Yeah, the cost of therapy with Steve or Michelle is right in line with therapists anywhere else. The difference is, I think, that they concentrate on SAVING THE MARRIAGE, and that's worth all the money in the world.<P>David and I were just last week speaking of this... my priest, as wonderful as she was, really was more concerned with "healing me" than "fixing my marriage"... had it been different, my outcome might have been different.<P>You have been missed, by the way. You're a fixture around here (one of those silver ones that hold dresses at WalMart -- tee hee).<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by terri:<BR><B>Sheesh... I'm insulted. Granted, I didn't take the "Plan B" advice, but nobody even mentioned me in the SIX PAGE THREAD????<P>:sigh:<P>I have been trying to post to the newcomers when I can. For all that I made the decision not to go to Plan B and that my Plan A didn't have the result we all hope for, I still believe in and truly DO understand the Harley principles. It IS so incredibly frustrating, however, to post a response and have it be completely ignored. I've developed a kind of "three strike" rule for myself in that regard - I will post messages of support to newcomers and I am happy to continue posting to them if they at least acknowledge at some point that I posted at all. But if they ignore me completely, and especially if they ignore me and answer posts all around me, it's quite frustrating. I will post twice more. If I get the same non-response or non-acknowledgement, I will devote my energies to someone else... I don't even mind if they post back that they think I am wrong, because at least I know they read my post, and that possibly I may have helped them think of another point.<P>My reasoning isn't mean-spirited in any way - I simply have seriously limited time to be here and have to use it in ways that I think are most productive. I am working 12 hours a day 3 days a week and sometimes all 5 days a week... and I work on Saturdays as well. In my spare time at home I am coding web pages... I don't get to play much!<P>Anyhow ... I decided I needed to remind y'all that I am still here - and that I've been here since ... since ... well, it has been so long that I've forgotten just how long it has really been! October 1998 - that's it!<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh darlin' <B>terri</B>, you ARE still here, and you are NOT forgotten. <P>I know that we all can't be here like I have been lately -- it's only because I'm not working outside the home right now that I **can** be here so much.<P>And, Lord knows that I am NOT the best person to give some types of advice -- but heck, I speak from a kind of experience that not a lot of folks have around here have. No, I didn't save my marriage to David, but perhaps now that I am in another relatinship I will use what I've learned to make this one a "lifetime" success. I honestly hope so!! I'm actually counting on that!!<P>Anyway, <B>terri</B>, you have never been forgotten! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mitzi:<BR><B>You guys!<P>Just wanted you to know that I've loved reading this! Haven't had a lot of spare time but I have been able to catch up.<P>This is the kind of thread that I've loved most about MB! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Oh and Lori, Thanks! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Love ya,<BR>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Just <B>A BIG HEY TO MITZI</B>! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sheba:<BR><B>OK.....so I was on the phone for another 2 hours (NO - I was not doing ALL THE TALKING!!)- then fell asleep printing out this multiple paged thread........stop copying all the replies will ya? You're using up my ink and paper!!!!<P>At least I had the foresight to set the alarm to this ungodly hour and make sure I write you something.....HAPPY? BTW - am doing this with no java - ran out of milk!! - NOT a good thing!!!! LOL!!!<P>Keeping that in mind for fair warning - onto the topic of this reunion thread...<P>Glad you brought this up.....WhoDat is right....definitely phases of the board. About a year or so ago, some of us had a similar idea to band together and form some "plan of action" to attempt a turn around for the negativity and misdirection the forums were stuck in then. <P>Worked for a bit.....<P>But, as with anything that has so many factors involved, it won't stay "steady" and upbeat all the time no matter what we attempt. We were lucky when we first started........at least I think so. <P>We had requested - back when the boards were revamped - that Read Only posts go back to the beginning of this site.....haven't seen it yet, so am assuming they aren't going to do it. Shame, cuz so much good insight and influence is back there to help. Add that to the Wonderful Work NSR (THANK YOU DARLIN'!!) put in on his compilation of resources and there is a complete self-help package at the ready to get anyone going in the right direction with their understanding, encouragement, direction and problem-solving needs......without having to be directed by just the current "phase" of the forums.<P>I was like a few others when I first started....read EVERYTHING - multiple times. Printed it all out.....2 huge binders full. Made notes on what I wanted to try to clarify with the people on the forums. <P>THEN I went to the boards....when I KNEW what this place was about. At least as much as my confused, pain-ridden mind was capable of grasping anyway. I lurked for a bit.....just to get a feel of the site, the people, the atmosphere.....<P>When I posted to someone, I searched their previous threads/posts to make sure I was aware of their story....got a sense of who they were....and had some inkling of what kind of encouragement they needed. <P>When I requested insight, I tried to make sure I was as specific as possible about what I was looking for : ie...certain situation experience, principle clarification, encouragement for ??? or simply venting.<P>I think a lot of folks acted similarly at that time......it seems that there was an overall aura of respect and consideration for the principles and the people that is sometimes now looked at as being stifling or judgemental to some. <P>I remember there was one person that seemed to attract a "rigamaro" whenever they showed up.....when I first saw people going at it - I was horrified......<P>BUT I didn't know what the history was so I stayed out of it.....had no business butting in till I AT LEAST knew what the fussing was all about.<P>I think that is a very good practice - lotta people want to talk, how many want to listen...let alone try to put themselves in another's shoes to help understand where they are coming from?<P>I haven't been a daily poster for a long time now.....WHY? Cuz my situation required me to not focus on marriage/relationships on a daily basis. Oh, I was stubborn about it.....didn't want to leave this safe and wonderful place that had kept me together for so long. <P>But it's always been about focus for me. For those who know me, you know that when I have something in my head - I have to work it through entirely before I can get it out of there and refocus on something else that I need to. Hate things hanging - that's how I lived for the few years before MB when things started unraveling. Too Much uncertainty....throws me completely off balance and keeps me confused and paralized. <P>I noticed it before I stopped posting with some consistancy....I would forget to respond to my threads, say I would be back on someone's and then forget till days later. I would be talking with someone and then wake up in the middle of the night panicked cuz I didn't check to see what they had said that day...Guilt, Guilt everywhere!!!!<P>It was too much....couldn't focus on living daily without a marriage and still being so focused on it for MB.........<BR>ESPECIALLY when things got/get so negative. I don't "do" negative very well!!!! After all, I am the one told that I was "too damn sunny all the time" LOL!!!!! <P>That brings me to what Heartpain (Hey Honey!!!) said - that I can come across like Sgt Carter......I didn't like that about myself. I was so engrossed with making sure everyone realized what I did so they could overcome their pain, that I started dictating just like a little Hitler!!!! NOPE....not me!!! YUCK!!! Didn't feel good with it and had to stop.<P>It was all simple frustrations.....but ones that I had to overcome before continuing to "help" here......that was not helping!!!<P>Enough for now.....need java!!! Going to go get that milk. Got plenty more to say - there's a shocker, huh?<P>God, it's early....Dunkin Donuts is open 24 Hours right?<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba <P> </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You know <B>Sheba</B>, I guess I **should** quit trying to save the world, eh? <P>More than anything I got from your post here is that this is a *phase* and it will pass. <P>I really hope so.<P>All I know is that IN THE BEGINNING (insert creation-of-the-world music) everyone, and I mean EVERYONE used the concepts... even D99 and some other arguers had POINTS... not just meany-grams to share. <P>What I see the newbies getting here is some VERY GOOD ADVICE from both other "studied" and "honest" newbies or tried-and-true oldies (are we oldies?? :eek [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] tempered with newbies who spout - "Just dump the bum" - I NEVER EVER heard to just DUMP THE BUM. In fact, I was told the EXACT OPPOSITE!!!!!<P>That's what I miss...<BR> <BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chris (CA123):<BR><B>Howdlee doodlee neighbors!<P>I’m still around. Don’t post much at all anymore. Usually I only read a few messages a week.<P>It gets tiring reading the same thing over & over & over & over. Sometimes I really feel like letting a few people here have a piece of my mind (not that there is a great deal to go around [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]) because of the extremely poor & childlike advice which is given ie, “Get back at ‘em NOW!” <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>WHOO HOO, it's <B>Chris</B>!!<P>Oh, give people a piece of your mind, please!!?? You have SO MUCH TO SHARE!! I understand it **seems** like you have precious little left [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] but it simply isn't true. <P>You are someone to FOLLOW... lead them, man!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Heartpain:<BR><B> There are many people there who can rightfully be called success stories. Maybe even better examples than some of us who are not(yet) divorced. Mitzi</B> is one(luv ya, girl), <B>Desiree, WilliamJ, Tim(Medic), Bob(RWD)</B> and many others(the ones I mentioned are the ones I came to know over the last two years) also qualify as "successes" even though their marriages failed. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I didn't see ME! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Jeez, begin a thread and they forget all about you. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Patient1:<BR><B>Hello everyone..<P>I skipped the bold print cuz I don't know how to do it.<P>I read this BB often...I may have posted once or twice. So infrequently that I forgot my p/word.<P>My marriage is now in recovery after 18 months of seperation [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. I usually post on Michelle Weiner-Davis' forum.<P>I truly believe that my marriage is at this wonderful stage due to "Plan A". I read everything that Dr. H had to say. I read it more than once. If you want to understand something it is important to read all instructions first.<P>I will still post on Michelles site because, I feel that I have to give back. I remember my first days there. The motto was dont give up. If it's not working try something different or do nothing at all for a time.<P>I am so very grateful for "oldtimers" who always gave me positive encouragement and support. Heck, my H is probably also grateful. The only thing is, is that he doesn't know about the wonderful people at the marriage sites.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Here's how to bold, <B>Patient 1</B>, hold down the left bracket [ and then type the letter b and then the right bracket ] and then type what you want to bold. Then, after you're done, type the left bracket [ and then a slash / and then the letter b and then the right bracket ]. It sounds waaay more complicated than it is!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Michelle's site is WONDERFUL, by the way. <P>Nice to have you drop by!!! <P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lu:<BR><B>Hi there,<P> I'm sort of an oldtimer and try to keep the Harley concepts in mind....I'm constantly amazed how the story is the same OVER and OVER.<P>Now to the real reason I'm posting.....IS K "a lady"? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I saw in Samantha's post where she called him a "lady"!! I've personally thought(along with others) that he might be Steve Harley in disguise! LU<BR> </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi <B>Lu</B>,<P>You're so little I almost lost you!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Oh, <B>K</B> is used to hearing that!! Who knows if he is or isn't... he's just one of the really smart guys around here... and I won't list the rest lest I miss someone!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Nice to see you! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
THIS THREAD IS SO GREAT!!!!!!!<P>Just a couple of personal thoughts......<P>First of all, I have also wondered if K is REALLY Steve Harley. Hey, I've never seen them together!<P>Secondly, it is so wonderful to see the very members who laid the foundation for my journey to recovery all check in on the same thread. Well, almost all of them. If LONESTAR would check in it would make this all perfectly complete!<P>Finally, it would be thrilling to be compared to the MB greats. But please don't ask the rest of us to choose between Sheba, Dylan, and Lori. This place has benefitted so much by their presence here along with many others already mentioned. So what if they DO tend to go on and on sometimes........... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I love to read every word they write!<P>Love to all, both OLD-TIMERS and NEWBIES!<P>Peppermint
Posted By: Lu Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 04:37 PM
HI Samantha,<P> I hope you didn't think I was chasitising you!! I was cracking up when I saw that K was a "lady"..... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>He gets accused all the time of being Steve Harley so this was just so funny!!<P>HI N Beginning,<P> It's good to see you too. How are you able to write in bold print and italics?....I just figured out the smiles, so I am very slow!!! LU <P>PS....Since you think I'm so "little" I need to use my full name "Lunatic"!!!! ...LU for short . Hopefully , I'm no longer a lunatic!!!! <p>[This message has been edited by Lu (edited April 13, 2001).]
Hi <B>Peppermint</B>, Hi <B>Lu</B>!! <P>I so agree <B>Peppermint</B>... so nice to see everyone... jeez, this thread is my best effort ever, I think!! And I usually just spout out poopie!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] hee hee [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>So <B>Lu</B>, here's how you do it... and remember, you use letters to determine what you want: b is for <B>bold</B> and i is for <I>italics</I><P>You hold down the left bracket [ and then type the letter b or i and then the right bracket ] and then type what you want to bold. Then, after you're done, type the left bracket [ and then a slash / and then the letter b and then the right bracket ]. <P>It would look like this, if [ was a { instead...<P>to bold something it will look like this: {b}Peppermint{/b} but using the [] brackets instead. <P>Hope this makes sense!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 04:59 PM
Hey, NB, it was YOU who taught me smiley faces WAYYYYY back when - remember? (And that's as far as I got, I'm afraid! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )<P>Hey Terri, we were just talking about you yesterday and your patience of a saint...so Hon, you're not forgotten. Peppermint, Chris, K, heck everybody's here (I know I missed a name, but you know me!). And Sheba, it's about damned time you came up with that post and if you blame one bit of your delay on talking to ME, I'm gonna tell the truth!!!!<P>This thread is soooo cool - just 'cause so many are here.<P>Lori
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lostva:<BR><B>Hey, NB, it was YOU who taught me smiley faces WAYYYYY back when - remember? (And that's as far as I got, I'm afraid! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )<P>Hey Terri, we were just talking about you yesterday and your patience of a saint...so Hon, you're not forgotten. Peppermint, Chris, K, heck everybody's here (I know I missed a name, but you know me!). And Sheba, it's about damned time you came up with that post and if you blame one bit of your delay on talking to ME, I'm gonna tell the truth!!!!<P>This thread is soooo cool - just 'cause so many are here.<P>Lori</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yeah, "back in the day" (as my daughter's USED to say, I'm sure I'm woefully behind in the cool department now!) before the "smiles legend existed and we just had to do the : and then the ) for a smile... well, it's still the same, of course, but now we have SOOOOO MANY more faces!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] among others!!!<P>And you're right... my thoughts in this thread aside, it's the PEOPLE who make it really, really great!!!!!!!<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<B>Sheryl</B><P>Thanks for the lesson is italics. That one I have never figured out. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I like the face icons too, but the limit on them makes it hard for my long posts. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I am wondering if our <B>Wasstubborn</B> aka <B>Wassi</B> is going to show up here???????? <P><B>Lone Star</B> would be nice surprise too.<P>Naturally there are many more, names which alude me here and there, but because of that none of them mean less to me. No, the people on this site mean more to me than I could ever properly express.<P>Love you to all, and <B>Sheryl</B> thanks for starting this wonderful reunion thread.<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 13, 2001).]
Ok, been here since 11/99! Now after 7 pages I'm beginning to feel a bit like Terri.....WAHHHHHH!!!!!! Just kidding. I know I'm whimpy when it comes to LONNNNNNNGGGGG Plan A stuff, but I can admit that the MBers stuff has made for a very happy, fulfilling, recovered marriage! God's blessings to all of you!
<B>All of you who have losing long posts -</B>Just a dumb suggestion that you have probably thought of....If you are using a Windoze-based PC you can click inside the reply box, right mouse click, "select all", then right mouse click and "copy". If you do that right before you post, then you still have it if the post fails. If it's because it's too long, just bring up "notepad" and paste the note in there to carve it up. <B>WebTV</B> users please ignore...and Windoze users who already know this, please excuse my impertinence.<P>--DeWayne--
Posted By: Lu Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 08:37 PM
Hi NB,<P> [b] Thank you so much for the bold [b/]and [i]the italic[i/] lesson!!!! Lu<P>Yikes, what happened?.....I think I'm computer challenged....I'll go and reread your post !!!<P>[This message has been edited by Lu (edited April 13, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by Lu (edited April 13, 2001).]
It really is good to see everyone here. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Keep up the encouraging words! I'll try to as well. I just really needed a break for a while...this thread is making me smile, though.<P>All the best!<P>--HBC
Posted By: NSR Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/13/01 10:45 PM
Yes... my ears are burning too.<P>Love to all.<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Jim
Oh <B>DeWayne</B>, the problem *I* was having was with the posts being too long -- especially with all the smiley faces -- they won't let me post!!<P>Hi, <B>HurtButCoping</B>,<P>Super-nice to see ya!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hello <B>mthrrhbard</B>,<P><B> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Ok, been here since 11/99! Now after 7 pages I'm beginning to feel a bit like Terri.....WAHHHHHH!!!!!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Oh honey, don't feel bad [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] It's so nice to see you!!!!<P>Yeah, <B>Jim</B>,<P>I was wondering if those ears of your were burning!! It didn't seem complete without YOU!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 13, 2001).]
Posted By: schizzo Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/14/01 01:04 AM
I've been on hiatus, mostly for lack of a working computer.<P>Been here since '98, yet was one of those who left quietly.<P>I miss some of you, but it has been good for me to leave. I am finally in counselling (personal not marriage) and my counsellor says that the problem with a medium such as this site is that topics get cycled and recycled again without closure. It was a lifeline at one time, but now whatever good I could do is more than offset by the negativity I absorb...<P>Still, I plan to lurk some now that I have a new computer...<P>Today I have an incredible marriage with the same man who cheated on me for 1 1/2 years with two different women. I am still seeking personal growth and real joy. I think it is two steps forward and one back rather than the reverse as it was before. My h could not be better, but I still find myself wondering if I will wake up from this wonderful dream into another nightmare...
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by schizzo:<BR><B>I've been on hiatus, mostly for lack of a working computer.<P>Been here since '98, yet was one of those who left quietly.<P>I miss some of you, but it has been good for me to leave. I am finally in counselling (personal not marriage) and my counsellor says that the problem with a medium such as this site is that topics get cycled and recycled again without closure. It was a lifeline at one time, but now whatever good I could do is more than offset by the negativity I absorb...<P>Still, I plan to lurk some now that I have a new computer...<P>Today I have an incredible marriage with the same man who cheated on me for 1 1/2 years with two different women. I am still seeking personal growth and real joy. I think it is two steps forward and one back rather than the reverse as it was before. My h could not be better, but I still find myself wondering if I will wake up from this wonderful dream into another nightmare...</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh my gosh, it's <B>schizzo</B>!!!<P>Hello! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>You are so right about the lack of closure... <P>I'm not a "quiet" leaver-- I'm a LOUD leaver [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. In my quest for total honesty I say I'm leaving and MEAN IT, but can never seem to go through with it. How do you do that???<P>I am so happy for your success in life and in your marriage.<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
This is what I get for spending the majority of my time on the D/D board...<P>I have to agree with the original premise of this thread...<P>I feel like I'm beating my head against the wall with some of the newbies here in that the emotions are so raw, the feelings of hopelessness and the sheer numbers of new posters...<P>I have been one to espouse the idea of giving back what was freely given to me, else I loose it...I dare say I have fallen short in giving back...<P>Is there even a solution??<P>In NA we have a sposorship system...Find someone to guide us through our recovery...I know I relied heavily on many folks here to hold me up as I trudged through the horrific feelings that came...What if each of us found a newcommer and gave them extra attention?? Kinda help them along in these principles...Share our experience, strength and hope...This is the only really viable solution to this quandry....But now the big question...Do any of us have the willingness?? I'd like to think I do but I just don't know...I do know that we as "oldtimers" have the ability to guide a trend towards marital recovery if we just took time out to keep up with one maybe two folks at a time, until they got in the right emotional balance then They in turn could "sponsor" the next hurting newcommer...Whadda ya say??<P>As for my old friends comming out od lurkerdom to reply to this post...It is good to hear from yas!!<P>Dewayne...you killed me with the Sgt Carter comment...Too funny!! LOL....But hey those kicks in the pants kept me moving!!<P>Desiree...I'm glad you posted!! Just wanted to say I love ya!!<P>Lori....Thanks for the am emails all those moons ago, they were always appretiated!! I may see you in Va Beach!!<P>Sheba....You're wisdom.....Thanks Sarge. !!<P>K....You are the bomb!! <P>JL....The voice of balance and reason...Thanks!!<P>Dearest An....I mean Dylan...oops [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Tell you fine hubby he owes me a phone call!! I love you guys, and tell the little guy hi...Ok OK OK I'm a bad friend I ought to at least send an email from time to time..<P>New Beginning....Love you hon!!<P>To all those I forgot to mention....Thanks for being there when the rubber hit the road...You saved my life...<P>Now let's all fan out and find us a newcommer to share these lifesaving ideas with!!<P>Love you all,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.
Posted By: chick's Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/14/01 01:50 AM
Hi Y'll!!! Just thought I would drop by and say Hi! Yes, your mentioning things I remember! Like when the system crashed in 99, I remember Samantha e-mailing me and asking me to please check the board. It was the most horrible feeling at the time. Thank God it was repaired rather quickly! I agree with some of the posts here, yes, I do have this habit of answering those who have answered my posts and yet trying to reach out to new people. I miss the friendships I knew I could count on but I don't feel I miss that level of pain I had at that level of recovery! Nice to see you again though! <P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!
Love you too, <B>Bill</B>, and I was looking for those newcomers as you wrote this! <P>Quite the job, eh? <P>My gosh, <B>HBC</B> has been busy!! Thanks for bringin' them all up to the top!<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chick's:<BR><B>Hi Y'll!!! Just thought I would drop by and say Hi! Yes, your mentioning things I remember! Like when the system crashed in 99, I remember Samantha e-mailing me and asking me to please check the board. It was the most horrible feeling at the time. Thank God it was repaired rather quickly! I agree with some of the posts here, yes, I do have this habit of answering those who have answered my posts and yet trying to reach out to new people. I miss the friendships I knew I could count on but I don't feel I miss that level of pain I had at that level of recovery! Nice to see you again though! <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi, hi, hi <B>Chick's</B> (you'll always be Chick's Bren to me! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )<P>So wonderful to see you!!!!!<P>I've been guilty too... Lord, there are SO MANY newcomers... just been out there trying to answer on a few...<P>TOO MANY... TOO MANY ...<P>What's happened in this world?? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Hi everyone!! <P>Great to see so many familiar names and to know so many are still lurking. I also read almost daily but seldom post anymore. The constant flow of new names and stories is so overwhelming. I used to be able to read the board, and know most everyone's story without looking up their profile. I knew who was moving right along in recovery and who was at a crisis stage. Not now. Unfortunately our numbers keep growing and growing. <P>I discovered this board in early 98, shortly after I discovered the affair and my H ended it. So many on this board helped me through the initial shock and anger. I'll always be ever so grateful to them. We are one of those couples that seemed doomed for failure. And thanks to perseverence, committment, love and the constant encouragement from so many, we are 3+ years into rebuilding and doing great. I'm wishing success stories from all of us. Hopefully with our spouse, if that's what we choose, but at least with our sanity and self-respect, if things don't work out after all our efforts.
I remember, back in summer of '99, when I could keep up with all the people, and all the stories, too. Trustntruth was the first person to respond to my first desparate post, and I was so relieved to find someone listening to me. <BR>Mostly now, whenever i obsess about OW (which is more than I care to admit [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ), I try to remember, "What would Sheba do?", and then i think back to all of you, and how much this site helped me.<BR>Prayers and hugs to all of you,<BR>Julie<BR>
Posted By: K Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/14/01 03:35 AM
First, it was my demise---now, it's my sex change operation. I do lead an exciting (multiple personality) life. You'd really like me playing the part of Steve Harley... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. <P>Sam, it's completely OK to mistake me for a lady. I take it as a compliment. Of course, if you saw me in person, you'd say "she looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick..." But I'm not so bad as a guy. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>It's really great to see so many of the old-timers crawl out of the woodwork! Schizzo---nice to see you doing well!
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/14/01 10:35 AM
Bill, good point about the mentoring. But I thought we all naturally did this! <P>Don't we all have a few MB people's personal e-mail addresses or phone numbers? <P> I know, alot are our friends and comrades, but I think I've seen everyone that has said "hi" here <I>reach out</I> to a newbie at one time or another. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I'm currently "mentoring" one newbie who is a sweetheart but she's taking such a toll on my time and positive energies! I'm talking at least one or two desperate e-mails DAILY. (She won't post on the forum anymore tho I keep begging her to). Even Dr. Willard Harley is in constant e-mail with her but from the way she posts about the things he says to her, it sounds like she's got him pulling out his hair as well. I won't abandon her but I just wanted to stress that we do have to be careful about walking the fine line of martyrdom vs. mentoring. <P>schizzo! Peppermint was asking about you on her thread in the "In Recovery" forum. Glad to hear you are doing well, Hon.<P>Aloha,<P>L<P>
Hey, Hey, <B>Nerlycrzy</B>,<P>I agree that all the new stories are so sad and sometimes overwhelming!!<P>I went ahead and wrote a bunch of replies last night, and it was very draining!! So many new "faces" so many *repeated* stories (as in, repeats of "our" stories, because it's nothing "new" after all).<P>I too will be grateful for those who held my hand throughout the process -- even into the divorce. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>We are one of those couples that seemed doomed for failure. And thanks to perseverence, committment, love and the constant encouragement from so many, we are 3+ years into rebuilding and doing great. I'm wishing success stories from all of us. Hopefully with our spouse, if that's what we choose, but at least with our sanity and self-respect, if things don't work out after all our efforts.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>I am so happy for YOUR success in repairing the marriage -- that's just awesome!!<P>I love everything you've said in this quote -- sanity and self-respect are SOOOOOO important!!<P>Hi <B>love-WAS-blind</B>,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I remember, back in summer of '99, when I could keep up with all the people, and all the stories, too. Trustntruth was the first person to respond to my first desparate post, and I was so relieved to find someone listening to me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Gawd, I remember too!! I guess I always was one of *those kinds* of people though -- in my High School class of over 1000 I could name every face!! I love people, and I love to help people... and I think it's super important to treat everyone with respect and to try to help where I can. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Mostly now, whenever i obsess about OW (which is more than I care to admit )<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Oh dearheart, why are you doing this still? There is no life in it, ya know? You are SO MUCH better than she is... remember that!!<P>Just a note to <B>K</B>,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>You'd really like me playing the part of Steve Harley <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Here's how I see it <B>K</B>, and you tell me if I'm anywhere near the mark:<P>I looked up your profile the other day -- just being nosey -- and there's no date for when you joined MB. In fact, it says "unavailable" I believe.<P>"K" is a psuedonym for one word in particular: "okay," as in "Okay, you've got me"...<P>"K" is the 11th letter of the alphabet, which would mean nothing in particular -- unless you count backwards from "z," in which case it's the 16th letter, which represents nothing, unless you seperate it out to "1" and "6", which means not a lick until you take away the "1" and break down the "6" into "3" and "3"... then you put them together into the number "33" and then you have the age when Steve Harley began Marriage Builders -- <B>but that's not all</B> -- it's also the year you were born, was it not????<P>Gotcha!! <P>Hi <B>Leilana</B>,<P>You know what? **I** was one BEING mentored throughout the last year!! I was emailing with a few "tried and true" MB'ers who tried to steer me right, and I **know** for a fact that I drove them insane!!<P>I thank God for those who are willing to help... you are wonderfully kind to help this newbie, but not at the detriment of your recovery...<P>Take good care, and nice to see you.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: mkn Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/14/01 02:22 PM
Just wanted to let everyone know that this board gave me an outlet to learn and try to understand the silliness of all this. I don't post much anymore.... I don't even remember when I arrived here, I think it was '97. It has been good to see some of the people you started this journey with. I remember when Chris, CeeCee and Terri came along with many others. You people have a lot of very good insights.<BR>I know that a lot of you "old timers" have gotten on with things and not post anymore but you are needed here. The knowledge base that you derive is awesome. Maybe look at it as though you are teachers/proffessors and every new person is the freshman class, they are sponges,wanting to know, trying to ease the pain and you guys can lay the foundation for success.<BR>I believe there is a definate timeline that one has to go through just by the nature of this beast. But I also know that it helps sooo much when you read from someone who has been through what you have and can guide you. Granted every situation is different but in my experience on this board shows me that there are a lot of things that are the same as far as feelings, the roller coaster, he said/she said... etc. So much so that when new people read and realize that they are not alone, it helps the hurt.<BR>Boy when I ramble, I really ramble.... I guess what I am trying to say is that each and every one of you are missed when you don't chime in.... I really appreciate you all...<BR>Michael
Hi Michael,<P>Nice to see you! Been awhile.<P>I know what you mean... and yes, there are those who stand out as "HERO"s in my mind too!<P>I couldn't begin to name them all... most of them have posted here already... but yes, CeeCee is among them... and I miss seeing her around here. I have emailed with her, and she is wonderfully dedicated to the principles of MB and God... she is a very tenderhearted woman. <P>Let me take this opportunity to thank everyone who held me, cried with me, laughed with me, and kicked me upside the head when I needed it too...<P>You are blessed! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] and you have blessed me beyond measure!!<P><BR>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 14, 2001).]
Man oh Man ! ! ! Can you believe that there are so many of us old timers hanging around still? I stay away for a couple days, and come to find <B>9 pages</B>. WOW! ! !<P>I've enjoyed reading some of the updates which have taken place on this thread. . . Seeing names that I had almost forgotten about . . . NOT. I don't even know where to begin or what exactly to say. . . <P>For me, I know that this forum (this family) has done a tremendous job of helping so many people, myself included to survive and to thrive in spite of the hell we have lived through.<P>The compassion and love we all feel for each other is very obvious when you read this thread. . . Going back to the original topic for just a minute. . .Maybe if all the newbees would read this thread, then go back and research some of the original threads posted by us "old timers", they would gain a little bit more insight.<P>The pain and frustration felt by all of the newbees is something that each of us can understand and empathize with. . .we've all been there, done that, got the T-Shirt and the bumper stickers. . . <P>I thought about adding commetns to all those who have posted since I did . . . then realized, that it would take me all day, and I have a very full weekend planned, and unfortunately can't take the time right now.<P>Let me simply end this reply by telling you all that I love you. That I never would have survived this without you. And that if anyone wants to get in touch with me, I can still be reached at **edit** .<P>God Bless
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/14/01 03:26 PM
I keep saying that I'm gonna leave this thread alone and I can't help but come around and see who else has shown up. Nerlycrzy, Jim, Bill, and Schizzo! I was just talking about you, girl! How the heck are ya? Oh, shoot, forgot to print stuff and now I don't know who was on page 9. I'll go back and read it again after we get home and see who else I missed.<P>Man this is too fun!<P>Lori
Me too, Lori!<P>...and yes, it is TOO much fun!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
hey, n_b, you're right, i should give up worrying about ow (i just remembered how i used to call her 'froot loop'!), but H is still talking to her daily. <BR>well, if freedom's wife could even begin to think about taking him back after 6 years, then i know i can find some strength somewhere [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>hugs to all,<BR>julie
ok....somebody tell me.....PLEASE.....<P>who was the Card Fairie?????
<B>Dylan</B><P>Great question. I have wondered that myself often? I even asked someone that just a few weeks ago. I still don't have a clue. I sure do miss her though.<P>If someone wants to come forward on that one, I know I for one would sure appreciate it. Think <B>Dylan</B> would too?<P>Hugs to all,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 14, 2001).]
Hi, Everyone. I must admit, I don't even lurk here much anymore. The tone of the board has begun to change a lot, and I find myself reminded of the bad times when I stay too long.<P>However, it's certainly nice to see so many Old Timers still here. The only names I haven't seen are Suse and DuncanMac. Anyone know how they're doing? I recall how so many of you were instrumental in mine and Petunia's recovery. Can't believe it's been over 2 years now. Things are just great. We've bought our first house, got a couple of puppies, and are just movin' along!<P>Great to see you all still checking in. I hope things are progressing with y'all as well.<P>(Special thanks to Samantha for emailing me that this thread was going on [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com])<P><P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>
wow, lonestar, that's great news!<BR> <BR>Yeah, who WAS the card fairie?
Posted By: WhoDat Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/15/01 02:39 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>The only names I haven't seen are Suse and DuncanMac. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>y'know… the weirdest thing. I JUST deleted their email addresses about two weeks ago from the last account I had them in. I was thinking I wish I still had them, cuz seeing their names here would mean a lot. I DO still have Kel's though… maybe she could let them know.<P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die<p>[This message has been edited by WhoDat (edited April 14, 2001).]
Posted By: LMS Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/15/01 02:55 AM
hey ya'll,<P><BR> shhhhh dont tell anyone I'm here lol havent been around in a longgggggggg time mitzi might get me [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] lol well hum what am I doing now? well I have a job I love working in a nursing home and have gotten my CNA and fixin to go into LPN school, my kids are doin GREAT, I am seeing a really sweet guy, tall too he he he 6'9", the ex and I are doing good at the friends thing. he is moiving closer in sep. so he will be able to see the kids more that trip from alaska to missouri was a lil hard on the old wallet. its really great to see all the old faces again. well gotta jet, just got off work and have a date...byess ever one.<P><BR>lots of love<BR>Lesa<P><BR>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person on your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P><BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P><BR> **edit** <p>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited April 14, 2001).]
It's been a super-duper long night -- went to see a concert tonight, and I'm sooooo tired!! <P>Quickly though:<P>OH GOD, IT'S <B>LONESTAR</B>.<P>Yep, this is a "reunion thread" and it's GREAT!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>So happy to hear how well you and Petunia are doing!!!<P>Hi to <B>LMS/Lesa</B>,<P>You know you are a success too!! You are whole and healthy and as friendly as can be with your ex... and have a nice new guy to boot! <P>Wonderful to see you!!<P>Okay, I'll admit it -- <B>I WONDER WHO THE CARD FAIRY IS TOO!!! ME TOO!!!</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Someone PLEASE spill the beans!! And, by the way, WHERE IS SHE??<P>You are missed, <B>Card Fairy</B>!!<P>Oh <B>Duncan Mac and Suse</B>... where are you???<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 14, 2001).]
Hi all. Maybe I'm a "mid-timer" (Aug. 00), but I recognize the value that the real oldies can contribute and I ask that you jump in when you get the urge. I find I can't keep up with the newbies, but I see myself partly, but never completely, in many of their posts. Always looking for someone with my special circumstances.<P>Thanks for lurking and responding.<P>Dave (WAT)
Hi <B>WAT</B>,<P>Gosh, I noticed when I logged in this morning, that there are THREE new people -- ON EASTER SUNDAY!? God, I hate infidelity!!<P>Thanks for dropping by!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
NB,<P>I don't think of myself as an "Old Timer" yet. I've only been posting since last October. However, I think a LOT of what was said here makes sense. I see a lot of people posting here that have not been through the site or don't really know or care about the MB concepts, and that's SCARY.<P>My wife told me about her affair on September 12th. I found Marriage Builders on the 13th. At first, I read and printed out almost every article here that was written on infidelity. I ordered the books, and my wife and I read them all together. I actually didn't get the courage to start posting until over a month later. I was too intimidated at first and didn't want to sound like an idiot. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>There are so many here that have helped me out. There are so many posts from some of the real veterans here that I have gone back and looked up hoping to gain some wisdom or insight (K, Lostva, JL, HGBrawner, SKM, Leilana, Peppermint along with many more). I just wanted to thank you all for your support and encouragement. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>-HD
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HurtingDeeply:<BR><B>NB,<P>I don't think of myself as an "Old Timer" yet. I've only been posting since last October. However, I think a LOT of what was said here makes sense. I see a lot of people posting here that have not been through the site or don't really know or care about the MB concepts, and that's SCARY.<P>My wife told me about her affair on September 12th. I found Marriage Builders on the 13th. At first, I read and printed out almost every article here that was written on infidelity. I ordered the books, and my wife and I read them all together. I actually didn't get the courage to start posting until over a month later. I was too intimidated at first and didn't want to sound like an idiot. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>There are so many here that have helped me out. There are so many posts from some of the real veterans here that I have gone back and looked up hoping to gain some wisdom or insight (K, Lostva, JL, HGBrawner, SKM, Leilana, Peppermint along with many more). I just wanted to thank you all for your support and encouragement. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>-HD</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi <B>HD</B>,<P>Okay, you can be a middle-timer (MT!) [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]... <P>Just wanted to acknowledge your reply and say that you are a "part" as we all are -- you have given some wonderful advice here too about "studying" the concepts first...<P>Thank you!!<P><BR>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 15, 2001).]
You know who else we never hear from anymore...Can't remember the exact initials (why oh why do I forget the things I want to remember and can't forget the things I want to forget!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]) His initials were "vmw or vwm",,I think he was emailing to Jim last I read a long time ago. Remember him and his little heart warming stories and inspiring quotes? I miss his posts. Wonder how he is doing? <P>And, of course, my pals, the D99's. Ok now,,settle down. I know he ruffled alot of feathers here but he was so helpful when I first came to this board. I so closely identified to his anger and hurt. He made me understand I was not wrong to have these feelings and I was not alone. There was and is room for ALL on this board, no matter what stage of recovery they are in and I wish he had stuck around. I miss him too and wonder how he is doing.
Posted By: mkn Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/15/01 08:32 PM
What about Facing Choices.... I think that was her name.... She had a lot to go thru too...
Mercy...I haven't seen so many familiar names in forever! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I read this thread when it first started and I do agree that it seems that the tone of the forums changes from time to time. I also agree that it is a phase. There have been lots of changes in the...let's see how long <I>have</I> I been here?...almost three years now...time since I first found this site. <P>I was one who had already begun the recovery process before coming here. I'm not a "Harley follower"....but since the concepts that MB is based on are time honored, proven concepts, I was already using them. I just got mine from <B>Torn Asunder</B> and <B>The Five Love Languages</B>. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I found when I was preparing to leave here a long time ago, that I was taking all of the problems too personally. I was really letting other people's problems drag me down and keep me in a negative place. I left for a while and it turned out to be a good thing. I do have days where I get a little obsessed about coming here to "check up" on people that I'm concerned about, but am able to walk away from it for days without losing any sleep.<P>In reality, I see the benefits of leaving here forever once the marriage has been restored. Staying here, even on an occasional basis, keeps the whole experience much fresher than it would otherwise be. Combined with the work I do with our friend in the marriage ministry and availability through my job and our counseling service at church, it can add up to a lot of emotional strain. But, the positive feelings that come from knowing that I've helped one person hang on to a little hope for one more day makes it worthwhile. I needed that hope and example of success so badly myself, how can I not offer it to someone else?<P>I stay mostly on In Recovery, checking in regularly with Just Found Out and then here on GQ2. I have learned that I simply can't offer something of value to everybody here. There are situations that I can't and won't get involved in. But I do try to be in tune with the ones that I might be able to offer a word of encouragement to and it is really awesome to hear from old friends when they post their updates.<P>There are so many people that became "friends" through our postings here. Who could forget Glenn and Carol.....such a sad ending to their story. I wonder how she is doing today..... So many names and so many stories.....all with that one universal thread. My constant prayer is that this thing called infidelity would be wiped out forever and this site close for lack of business. But we know that will never happen. So, we keep on and try to do the best we can. For myself, I just want to follow what God wants me to do. He gave me the gift of a restored marriage and I want to do whatever He asks to help others make the journey through the valley.<P>It's been good to see so many old friends here.....keep us updated on your stories!<P><P>------------------<BR>"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Oh yeah, there was Facing Choices, D99, Against the Wind, Decision Time, Arik... gosh, who else?... going from pure memory here... Elixer, airheart, hummingbird, New_Woman... so, so many who touched my heart and soul. And remember Glenn and Carol... how many of us have a "flying pig" to remember what true love is <raising hand>...<P>So, so, so many!! <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HGBrawner:<BR><B> Who could forget Glenn and Carol.....such a sad ending to their story. I wonder how she is doing today..... <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You and I posted at the same time,<B> HG</B>, and we had the same thought!! Such a sad end... remember how he wrote of the renewal of their vows? I rejoiced with him... we all did... <P><sigh><P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
I saw that when I checked my post....<P>He was a very tormented man for a long time, but I had great hopes for them. I hope Carol has found peace and happiness. I emailed her after she posted about his death, but never heard anything back.<P>It makes me all the more grateful for what I have.<P>------------------<BR>"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Okay Nerly<BR>You made me chime in. I miss DG99 somedays. In a way he reminds me of Dr. Phil....Tell it like it is. <BR>Anyone seen cossie? What about Animac?
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/15/01 11:25 PM
Happy Easter, everybody!<P>Wow, HD--I got listed in your personal Harley Hall of Fame. I'm so tickled! Thanks, Hon! That was so sweet. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] But I consider you my contemporary! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I have been thinking lately that I was a bit premature in calling myself an oldtimer--"I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!"<P>I'm probably a mid-timer like yourself--just 4 months ahead of you in d-day and coming to this site! I agree with Sheryl that you have given some amazing advice--such conscientious and thoughtful stuff. <I>I've</I> benefitted from you as well! <P>Mutual admiration society stuff going on here! I'd like to send out a big mahalo to everyone here that's helped me along on my journey! God bless you guys!<P>Did everyone see NSR's "oldtimer's" roll call for updates--and if so, have you gone in and done your homework? <P>Remember Oh My Marie? I'm about to email her and give her a heads up on this thread.<P>Have a great evening everybody!<P>Aloha nui,<P>L <P><P>------------------<BR><I>No rain, no rainbows</I>
Hi <B>wassi</B> and <B>Leilana</B>,<P>Sooo wonderful to see you both!!<P>D99 was great. As an OP, I was blasted by him, of course, and my feelings were BIG TIME hurt at the time. Little did I appreciate that he was speaking purely from the reality of pain the betrayed spouse feels-- although I *should* have seen it since I've SO been there in my past-marriage too!<P>Want to see something really scary? Go to the Roll Call and check out the list of names!! Did all those people really post at one time or another? My gosh, there were even a few I'd NEVER seen!! How can that be???? I know EVERYTHING!! tee hee [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: Rick37 Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/16/01 01:33 AM
I consider myself one of those "mid-timers" too. I must admit that the first few months on here, I posted alot, but I don't as much anymore. I have gotten busier with work, taxes, spring cleanups, etc. But also, before this post came out, I thought to myself that it is probably a trend here that when you are new, you post alot and answer other posters alot, but after your situation drags on, you enter some sort of coasting state and don't tend to post as much. Is that common?<P>In other words, I figured that people that have been here for a couple of months provide the brunt of help to new members, with veterans chiming in with very valuable advice every so often. Since there are so many new posters, I post when I can, but people I recognize and have many similarities to my own situation tend to be the ones I answer most.<P>I find it easier to help someone that is experiencing similar stuff to myself, because if it is alot different, it is harder to come up with valuable advice.<P>Nice to see veterans having some fun on this post. It is a long one and hard to keep up with!<P>
I think that I'm crossed eyed from reading all <B>11 pages</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Anyways, it is so refreshing to see all the oltimers. I think 'NB' and 'covenant'(rob) were the first to respond to my initial post. Gosh, I was absolutely pitiful then [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]LOL! Time surely does heal. Thank God I still have my sanity, strength and joy. ANd I owe thanks to all of you who gave me encouragement, put me in check when I needed it, and most importantly your honest and sincere opinions. <P>I love all of you. <P>Hey where's bystander and TheStudent?<P>------------------<BR><B>God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B> **edit** [This message has been edited by jamie-lee (edited April 15, 2001).]
<B>HGBrawner</B>, <BR>You hit the nail on the head for the reason I couldn't come here for a long time. I got to the point where I couldn't handle reading another sad story and keeping it with me.<P>I had to heal myself before I could hope to help another soul.<P>Thank you to everyone who has ever "held my hand" when I cried here. I can't tell you how much it has meant to speak to people who have "been there"....<P>I am thankful that I found you.<P>All the best.<BR>--HBC
Hi All..........<BR>I've been gone a week and almost missed the reunion! Thanks to Samantha...I made it. Hi to all the old timers and the new timers.<P>Yes, I'm a lurker besides being a REAL Old timmer. I know that we don't post alot any more, but, ya know what...we talk about this EVERYDAY!!! I E-mail Nerlycrazy and Wassi, we talk, we compare, we listen, we laugh and we cry, we lecture each other!....but we are doing good. <P>I've been in recovery for 3 years now....I am proud to say that My marriage has survived...and very well. I dwell mostly on getting better and better, my husband and I talk now, we clear things up more. I have gotten answers that I couldn't get in the beggining, about us! Good and positive answers that really help, and my husband isn't a talker, I guess I've learned how to pose the questions better... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I'm here to say that it can work, a deeper marriage can come from this, there will always be pain, but my husband and I are very happy. <P>I'm ready for a Party like we use to have on the boats.....I've got the carmal corn made, and the Dingy is ready that we put behind the boat for the husbands!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Almost Happy<BR>-----<BR>TIME<P><BR>
Im an oldtimer since 5/99. Just wanted to say hi to everyone and give another thanks to everyone who helped me out! Its great to see all these names again. I come here still but mainly just read. Occasionally I will post a reply to help a newbie. I have also met a couple of individuals whom I gave my personal email and we write back and forth and I try to help them. <BR>To update you all, my h and I are still in recovery and doing well. We built a new home away from the ow. I would have never been able to save my marriage without this site and all of the people who helped... So thanks again to everyone here! Take care all!
Posted By: window Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/16/01 01:49 PM
Hi, Oldtimers,<P>I am a pretty much newcomer. I was hoping that one of you might hop on over to JFO and look at the post from Paintbox. I just read it and it is so sad. As a newcomer, I really don't feel like I have much good advice. She is pregnant and jfo about her H's A. He has left and is staying at a hotel. I wish I had good advice for her, but I know that you all would do so much more for her. Thank you all for the advice you have given me so far. <P>Thanks,<BR>Window
Posted By: bighope Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/16/01 01:49 PM
Hi~<BR>I too am an old timer. I have been here since March 00. I post sometimes, but lurk often. There has been so much support I have received that I have become a better person. I too would have not been recovering if not for this site. <P>With Easter just passing I have to say I would have not spent the day with my husband without all the great people here.<P>I am grateful.<P>Thanks<BR>Judy
Hi <B>Rick37</B>,<P>Yeah, you're a mid-timer!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>But also, before this post came out, I thought to myself that it is probably a trend here that when you are new, you post alot and answer other posters alot, but after your situation drags on, you enter some sort of coasting state and don't tend to post as much. Is that common?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>For most folks, yes, it's common, I'd say. Then there are the ME type of people who used MB as kind of a journal of sorts... I go in waves -- post, post, post, goodbye, hello again, post, post, post, goodbye (and on and on)-- I tire of the pain... and then there are some lighthearted posts that pull me back in... and then I venture out onto the boards again and see someone I can "help" and it all begins again...<P>Hello to the beautiful <B>jamie-lee</B>,<P>Yep, there's a LOT of posts here, eh? I am amazed and thrilled!! <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I think 'NB' and 'covenant'(rob) were the first to respond to my initial post. Gosh, I was absolutely pitiful then LOL! Time surely does heal. Thank God I still have my sanity, strength and joy. ANd I owe thanks to all of you who gave me encouragement, put me in check when I needed it, and most importantly your honest and sincere opinions. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Time does heal for some, but not all... for me, time has tempered the true pain, but you know, I was sitting in the bath thinking about my past year this morning... about how the last OW is my ex's current woman, about how she "hung around" long enough, was patient enough, to wait it out, and now she has what she wanted. I said, last year, that she "hovered like a vulture" and she has... waiting until the marriage was dead and he was willing to give her the scraps... I think it's sad. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Hey where's bystander and TheStudent?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>I have only seen Bystander in the Pregnancy/Child area lately, and not often at that... and Student is working on her dissertation, so is VERY BUSY!! <P>Wow, <B>Almost Happy</B>,<P>That Samantha sure has been an emailing nut lately!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>...we talk about this EVERYDAY!!! I E-mail Nerlycrazy and Wassi, we talk, we compare, we listen, we laugh and we cry, we lecture each other!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE></B><P>Yep, that's how it is for me too... I have had a few GOOD, kind, caring friends I've met here... and in *most* cases, they are in the same position as I am (divorced)... but there are some who are still VERY MARRIED who tried (through my divorce and soon after it was final) to guide me somehow back to David (my ex)... their opinions and hopes for me were very important... quite the support network... and I haven't actually *met* any of them yet!! Amazing and wonderful, really! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hello <B>mickey65</B>,<P>It's been a LONG time since I've seen your name!!<P>You sound WONDERFUL!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Best wishes on continued recovery!! <BR>Hiya <B>window</B>,<P>You have such a kind heart to come here and ask for support for Paintbox... I know what you mean about not knowing quite what to say sometimes... we ALL feel that way!<P>Take care [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bighope:<BR><B>Hi~<BR>I too am an old timer. I have been here since March 00. I post sometimes, but lurk often. There has been so much support I have received that I have become a better person. I too would have not been recovering if not for this site. <P>With Easter just passing I have to say I would have not spent the day with my husband without all the great people here.<P>I am grateful.<P>Thanks<BR>Judy</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi <B>Judy</B>, <P>We were posting at the same time!! Gosh, haven't seen you for a long while either... good to hear of the positive recovery!!<P>Take care, and thanks for dropping by!<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
I don't know if any of you will remember me, but I posted back in the spring, summer, and fall of 99 (I think) and then off and on after that as hurtingwife. The board always wound up depressing me so I quit coming. When I returned (I'm stronger now), not too long ago, I couldn't remember my pass word, hence, my new name. Plus, I didn't want to be hurtingwife anymore. I remember many of you.
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tryingtoheal:<BR><B>I don't know if any of you will remember me, but I posted back in the spring, summer, and fall of 99 (I think) and then off and on after that as hurtingwife. The board always wound up depressing me so I quit coming. When I returned (I'm stronger now), not too long ago, I couldn't remember my pass word, hence, my new name. Plus, I didn't want to be hurtingwife anymore. I remember many of you.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yes, I remember you!! It's very nice to see you!!<P>The board **can** be depressing... and I'm glad you aren't "hurting" anymore... "tryingtoheal" sounds positive!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Good discussion. I have to read the entire discussion to get up to speed on it all. I don't get here very often because I have been very busy with work and building our marriage. Things are significantly better overall. <P>I have noticed a lot of new monikers which is depressing. I have been conversing with a newbie via email. God has blessed me with the opportunity to let His light shine which is my daily prayer. <P>Part of the reason I don't get here is because being on the computer was part of the problem: she felt I was giving the machine more time than her. Yet, what I was doing was financial planning and winding down most of the time. <P>I will make an effort over lunch to come by more often ad read and answer those new to this horrible mess.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> **edit**
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by professorg:<BR><B>Good discussion. I have to read the entire discussion to get up to speed on it all. I don't get here very often because I have been very busy with work and building our marriage. Things are significantly better overall. <P>I have noticed a lot of new monikers which is depressing. I have been conversing with a newbie via email. God has blessed me with the opportunity to let His light shine which is my daily prayer. <P>Part of the reason I don't get here is because being on the computer was part of the problem: she felt I was giving the machine more time than her. Yet, what I was doing was financial planning and winding down most of the time. <P>I will make an effort over lunch to come by more often ad read and answer those new to this horrible mess.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>ROB!! HI!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I wondered where you went??<P>I agree with the computer vs. time-w/ spouse thing... I still have to be careful because I get emeshed in the stories here!!<P>Very, VERY nice to see/hear ya!! Sounds like you and your W are going ever-forward.<P>Neato!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Thanks to Samantha's email I found out about this reunion!<P>I doubt many newbies will know me or that many oldtimers will remember me.<P>I guess I'm an oldtimer, by some's standards. Don't exactly know when I first posted, but I'll never forget it was NSR who responded to me first, when the pain was so fresh, and his words so encouraging. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>My husbands affair went on for about 10 years before DDay happened. And my DDay consisted of his moving out of our house and into OW's. He stayed with her for a year and then moved back home. Professing his love for me and vowing to spend the rest of his life making it all up to me. Of course that was just smoke and mirrors, as he never stopped seeing OW. He left again a year later to move back in with OW. That was back in 99. I think that is when I found MB. I had been doing my own version of plan A prior to finding MB. Once I found this wonderful place I was able to do a really strong plan A. My husband ultimately left OW again (June of 2000) and we have been together since then. So it's been 10 months since he left her this last time.<P>I guess we are in recovery. Although his idea of recovery and mine and very different. He still works with OW and I suspect he is seeing her in the mornings before he actually goes to work. He showers me with flowers, gifts, etc. Takes me out every Sat night and leaves little love notes, etc. He thinks these things make the past go away. He also thinks what I don't know won't hurt me. Of course I want to discuss things. I want him to write OW a no contact letter. I want her out of his life in every way. These would be the things that would truely put us in recovery, IMHO. They are also BIG LBers for him.<P>So I view our situation as *In Limbo*. He's not in a full blown affair any longer. Yet in *my* reality we aren't in real recovery until she is totally gone from his life. So I guess I would be considered a *semi* success story. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I'm still Plan Aing, the best I can. I rarely LB, and am pretty good at meeting his needs. He knows how hard I try and acknowledges my efforts. He just isn't able to give up total contact with OW, although he won't admitt that to me. His affair was more like a marraige. He lived a double life for so long I don't think he feels one wife and one life is enough for him.:sigh: I know OW has said to other people "she will never leave him, she will spend the rest of her life trying to get him back." Maybe she will, maybe she won't. But regardless of what she does, I know I'm not going anywhere any time soon. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>To be very honest I have been just so dang busy I don't have much time to worry about it, right now. <P>Our oldest is trying to decide what one of the dozen colleges she was accepted at she wants to go to. So college visits have been constant. Her prom and graduation are both coming up too! The youngest just got her permitt and between needing mega hours behind the wheel, so she isn't a threat to the other motorists and pedistrians alike, is keeping me very busy playing soccer and having way to many friends and social plans for any 15 yr old!<P>So I'm pretty much living my life and being the best person, mom, wife that I can be. <P>I lurk here, now and again. I was posting ocasionaly, but was put off by the way Terri was talked to regarding her long lasting plan A. I haven't posted here much since then. <P>The great thing about MB is that it can be modified for everyones situation, and to suit their needs. If someone wants to plan A all the way through divorce, or till the cows come home they can. The way Terri was talked to, it was like others had decided for her her time to plan A should be over and she should go into plan B. That is not for anyone to decide except for Terri. Plan B is suppossed to be put into effect when one's love bank is almost on empty. Apparently Terri's love bank wasn't near empty, as other's felt theirs would be if they were in her shoes.<P>I have seen less support and more encouragment to move to plan B after a set amount of time on Plan A, then the push I saw for sticking in plan A way back when. Well, if *I* had taken that advice *I* would have been divorced a few years ago. I'm not. I'm happy I'm not. And I am very thankful to the people who were constants on MB, like Terri and others, who gave me support and a shoulder to cry on. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I wish all the newcomers luck in their uphill fight to regain their marriages. I wish all those in recovery, the best of luck and happiest of marriages. To those who did divorce I wish you fonder futures than your pasts. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>If and when there are any major changes in my situation I'll give you all an update. <P>Untill Then I Remain,<P>Fingers Crossed<P> <P>
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fingers Crossed:<BR><B>Thanks to Samantha's email I found out about this reunion! <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Boy!! That <B>Sam</B> was one busy-bee!!!!!!<P>Of course I remember you, <B>FC</B>, and yes, I see you as a real-live (not semi) success story.<P>Look at how you've grown so strong!<P>Continued healing and good wishes,<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Hey Sheryl,<P>Boy, you got a lot of us "old farts" out of the wood work for this one.<P>Count me in as a success story. No, I couldn't fix the M, but, I did fix me. I couldn't be better. Life is great!!! Happiness comes from within.<P>Val called me 4 times in a weeks time already. Each and every one of them were for some of the dumbest excuses that I have ever heard. For some reason she wanted to see me last week, tried with two diff secenarios. "Negative Ghost Rider, pattern is full"<P>I do remember when I first got here and there was only one board. That puppy would start a new page almost every hour. It was a close knit community then. Now, with the apparent explosion of infidelity, it is hard to keep track of the newbies.<P>I confess that I lurk almost daily, but, don't reply much. I can see and feel the pain of all that are here. That's one phase of my life that I would not like to relive.<P>Bill's idea of a "buddy" is good. It would be tough to match folks up thou. All our stories are so similar and so very diff at the same time.<P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>Medic [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MEDIC238:<BR><B>Hey Sheryl,<P>Boy, you got a lot of us "old farts" out of the wood work for this one.<P>Count me in as a success story. No, I couldn't fix the M, but, I did fix me. I couldn't be better. Life is great!!! Happiness comes from within.<P>Val called me 4 times in a weeks time already. Each and every one of them were for some of the dumbest excuses that I have ever heard. For some reason she wanted to see me last week, tried with two diff secenarios. "Negative Ghost Rider, pattern is full"<P>I do remember when I first got here and there was only one board. That puppy would start a new page almost every hour. It was a close knit community then. Now, with the apparent explosion of infidelity, it is hard to keep track of the newbies.<P>I confess that I lurk almost daily, but, don't reply much. I can see and feel the pain of all that are here. That's one phase of my life that I would not like to relive.<P>Bill's idea of a "buddy" is good. It would be tough to match folks up thou. All our stories are so similar and so very diff at the same time.<P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>Medic [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hey Mr. Medic Man,<P>I can't believe you said "fart" [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] (that looks like mad, not embarrassed, but it's all I have! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) hahahahahaha... I'm so shy, ya know!!! <P>Yeah, I know how to throw a party, eh?? <BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/18/01 03:49 AM
Hi Medic! Missed you and your whacked up sense of humor! Glad to hear your in a good place right now!<P>No, Sheryl--a [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] doesn't look mad or embarrassed. After a "fart" it just looks like you've closed your nose and are breathing thru your mouth. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>
<B>Fingers Crossed</B><P>I am so happy to see you here! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I loved your update and have already referred to newbie's to your post. Thanks for helping make my day.<P><B>Everyone</B><P>Hi again and I am so happy to see you all as well. <P><B>New Begining/Sheryl</B><P>Just had to thank you again for starting this. It's wonderful. Big hugs lady.<P><B>Nighty Nite all</B><P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 17, 2001).]
A simple thank you to the following posters [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]/friends [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] -- our own personal "WALL"... love to all, and great big *HUGS*<P><B><I><BR>A blessed Samantha<BR>Almost Happy<BR>bighope<BR>breakingslowly<BR>buffy<BR>chick's<BR>Chris (CA123)<BR>Dazed and Confused<BR>Empty Shell<BR>Fingers Crossed<BR>heartache<BR>Heartpain<BR>HGBrawner<BR>HurtButCoping<BR>HurtingDeeply<BR>it's me Samantha<BR>jamie-lee<BR>Just Learning<BR>K<BR>KalGrl<BR>Leilana<BR>LMS<BR>Lone Star<BR>Lor (Lor)<BR>lostva<BR>love-WAS-blind<BR>Lu<BR>MAEZY<BR>MEDIC238<BR>mickey65<BR>Mitzi<BR>mkn<BR>mthrrhbard <BR>Nerlycrzy<BR>NSR<BR>Patient1<BR>peppermint<BR>Persevering:<BR>professorg<BR>Rick37<BR>Robyn's Clues<BR>Roll Me Away<BR>schizzo<BR>Sheba<BR>sing<BR>singagain<BR>soulloss<BR>Survivor [aka_NoTrust]<BR>terri<BR>tryingtoheal<BR>wasstubborn<BR>WhoDat<BR>WilliamJ<BR>window<BR>worthatry<BR></B></I><P>Quite a list, eh? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Thanks for making this one AWESOME thread! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Samantha's invite to this party was forwarded to me (Thanks Samantha).<P>Thank you NB for starting this thread.<P>I am a newbie; started lurking in Jan 2001 and posting in March. But once I started reading everything on the site in 01/01, I was surprised at how many MB principles I had been applying while "winging it" in the first 4 months of recovery. I really credit plan A and avoiding LBs (almost always) with the improvements in our M since d-day. I am looking forward to H buying in to the MB principles. Am I dreaming in technicolor?<BR><P>------------------<BR>Never give up. Never, never give up.<BR>~ Winston Churchill
Hello, all,<P>I first saw this thread yesterday and I skimmed through a couple of the pages. At first I was offended as I do get on these boards (mostly recovery and EN boards) and I try to respond as positively and as frequently as I can with the MB concepts a focus.<P>I know I read in one of the infidelity books (maybe <I>Torn Asunder</I>) that divorce was definately an option in God's eyes when it comes to infidelity. I don't suggest divorce by any means.<P>When it seems the WS is still in a fog and still having contact with the OP, I suggest focusing on yourself rather than white knuckling the marriage - a healthy Plan A. I drove myself crazy for a time trying to control what my WS was doing and it wasn't until I focused on myself and healing myself that my WS started to come around. It's far healthier to get control of yourself and changing the things about yourself that you can and when the fog lifts you can be calm and focused.<P>I guess I'm one of the old timers - I started posting under LadyK the end of 1998. Lately I have been here quite a bit since I do feel as though I'm in marital recovery. It took a while, but I do believe I'm here. Many of the old timers gave me so much hope, support and guidance. <B>Sheba</B> was one of the first who guided me and <B>HGBrawner</B> was and is a continued spiritual supporter. I want to give back the same compassionate support!<P>Thank you for the thread!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL><P>[This message has been edited by Free2BMe (edited April 18, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by Free2BMe (edited April 18, 2001).]
hey <B>Free2BMe</B> - just wondered... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>At first I was offended <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>What was it that offended you? Just curious....<P>I guess some of us don't look at Plan A as strictly as you do. I see Plan A as working on yourself rather than completely oriented towards getting a WS back. We had a thread a year or more ago where I indicated I felt that you should make Plan A a "lifestyle" and treat everyone in a Plan A mode. After all, how hypocritical is it to Plan A your spouse and no one else. That doesn't indicate that *you* are really changing yourself. <P>Bottom line, I agree with the "working on yourself", but I think that that is part and parcel "Plan A". However, that's my personal interpretation....not the Harley definition...<P><BR>--DeWayne--
Posted By: schizzo Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/18/01 08:01 PM
NB,<P>I hope you have a program that alphabetized the names for you. hehe.<P>Thank-you Peppermint for asking about me, Leilana for telling me, and all of you for sharing in this thread.<P>I never, never thought we could have a marriage this good; certainly not when I was sunk in the pain.<P>The biggest thing I've learned is that life does not "happen to you"; we make it happen. My h is wonderful, but I don't look to him to make me happy anymore. That is my job. Nor can we drive a car by looking only in the rear view mirror. I am really looking forward at my life. The past is there just to inform us...<P>I've started my own business as a Creative Memories consultant. It primarily involves teaching other women how to make lovely albums to preserve their memories. As I've gone back through those of my family, I realized I no longer view my marriage as a big mistake. The old good feelings about us as a family have come back. In fact, I see us more through the happiness we have now.<P>This has been great to get me out of the house where I had isolated myself too much. I'm meeting wonderful people.<P>Anyway, enough about me. It's good to see all you wonderful folks again.<P>Love,<BR>Cindy<P>
Hi <B>OneDay</B>, <P>That <B>Samantha</B>!! Woo Hoo!!! She's some girl, eh?? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Best wishes as you continue to heal your marriage!!<P>Hey <B>Free2BMe</B>,<P>Oh yeah, you're one of the old-timers... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Wasn't your first post written on stone? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I'm so funny, I know.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I love that! And I've always meant to tell you that my old work email had Eleanor Roosevelt's quote you use:<P>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<P>I worked with students with disabilities, so it was especially poignant (can I spell? I'm so tired... but you understand, I hope).<P>Oh you keep this thread alive, <B>Heartpain</B> and <B>Schizzo</B>...<P>You don't owe me for putting your name on the wall, you know! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] tee hee...<P>...and yes, Cindy, I used WP, but getting those names all together in the first place without missing anyone was um, difficult!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: cl Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/18/01 11:34 PM
Oh my goodness........you want me to read the 12 pages of this dang post?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? <BR>Nah....you cannot possibly think I would do that? <BR>Read pg 1, but ptomise to go back and catch up. Just wanted to say hi to all: welcome to all the newbies I have yet to meet, hugs to all the 'mediums' that are riding the rollercoaster, and kisses to all the old timers that have helped keep me sane! <BR> <BR>
Posted By: Murphy Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/19/01 05:30 AM
OMIGOSH!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> Hey Sheryl,old friend,....WHAT in the world are you doing??<BR> Trying to start a new Megathread? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> Bet ya can't beat it! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> ~~Murph [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<p>[This message has been edited by Murphy (edited April 19, 2001).]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/19/01 11:45 AM
I KNEW IT!!!!<P>MURPH! I knew you were lurking and you just wouldn't be able to stand it!! I knew you would HAVE to post to this one!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Beat the MEGA THREAD?? I think not! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Janie Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/19/01 03:17 PM
Can't remember when I started posting. My world came to a halting grind in 10/98. It wasn't too much later that I found this site. I can honestly say the advice and Harley methods turned my behavior around and ultimately saved my marriage. Yes, I had lots of "love busting" times, but eventually we found each other again.<P>Right after our separation, we sold our house that we had worked so hard on. I thought I would never get over it. I moved into an apartment and found out real quick that being alone there wasn't what it was cracked up to be! Husband transferred six hours away and I really felt like it was over. Long distance talks, weekend visits, we worked it out.<P>I finally got a transfer and have been here since October. We bought a home and we are happy. Things are different. He pays household bills and handles things. I have my responsibilities and he has his. Our youngest child (20) is giving us a fit, although I can see a change for the better since December when he moved in with us. I keep thinking "baby steps". It is hard not to let it interefere with our recovery, but we haven't let it.<P>It is good to hear from so many people that gave me good advice and inspiration during the darkest time of my life.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Janie (edited April 19, 2001).]
Posted By: Janie Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/19/01 03:36 PM
Anyone heard from Wexwill? He used to crack me up!
Posted By: K Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/19/01 03:49 PM
Hi Janie,<P>Wex has been gone a long time now---we've tried to send a couple posts up to get him to resurface, but nothing...<P>It's too bad. I hope he's well.
Bwah, ha, ha, the thread that will not die!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Ah<B> cl</B>, <P>I'd wondered where you'd gone to!!! <P>...and yes, I expect you to read ALL 12 pages! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Aloha, and I'm jealous... it's 42 degrees outside here... blech! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Oh my GAWD, it's <B>Murphy</B>,<P>Hey OLD MAN!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Good to see ya!!!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>a NEW mega-thread? I think NOT!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Pulled you out with my wannabe Mega-Thread, eh? No, I could never compete with that monster!!!<P>Good, no GREAT, to see ya!!<P>Pass me a Corona????? ... with LIME, of course!<P>Hi, Hi, Hi <B>Janie</B>,<P>Oh yes, I remember YOU! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Amen, and amen, on saving your marriage!!!!!!!!!!! <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 19, 2001).]
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B>Oh yeah, you're one of the old-timers... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Wasn't your first post written on stone? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I'm so funny, I know.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Actually I found that to be a very sarcastic remark - not too funny at all, but I'll bet all the others here think you are hysterical. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><B>HeartPain</B>, I was offended because I am on these boards every day during my lunch hour, although not on this specific board. I usually go between In Recovery and Emotional Needs. I try to respond as much as I can so I was offended that N_B insinuated that the old timers didn't take the time to help the newbies. Maybe I should post on the other boards as well. When I was a newbie I "hung out" in the recovery section so I could get the guidance from the old farts. I didn't stay on the other boards very long - I knew where the wisdom was to be found.<P>I agree your Plan A is very similar to mine. I do try to Plan A everyone (I should try walking on water, too, N_B). [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I did confuse Plan A for winning my H back in the beginning, but I learned eventually.<P>Have a most awesome day, all!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR><P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL>
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Free2BMe:<BR><B> Actually I found that to be a very sarcastic remark - not too funny at all, but I'll bet all the others here think you are hysterical. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>(I should try walking on water, too, N_B). </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Didn't mean to be sarcastic. I was trying to be funny. Guess I missed the mark.<P>As far as walking on water... only Jesus can do that. I never believed I could. <P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I am sorry. I meant no disrespect, and I certainly have no ill feelings toward you or anyone here.<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 19, 2001).]
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B>Didn't mean to be sarcastic. I was trying to be funny. Guess I missed the mark.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>No harm done! I'm not as thin skinned as I used to be. I just figured out why I don't come to the GQII board. I just read the thread where singagain is leaving because of BonnieSepts remarks and that thread is filled with sarcasm. I detest sarcasm - my H is great at it - and it just gets me going.<P>Like you said, <B>Maybe it's just because I **can** sit here for a few hours a day and read</B>, so I can see how you think you're funny and not sarcastic!<P>or maybe it's the Corona leading you to believe this...<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL>
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Free2BMe:<BR><B> No harm done! I'm not as thin skinned as I used to be. I just figured out why I don't come to the GQII board. I just read the thread where singagain is leaving because of BonnieSepts remarks and that thread is filled with sarcasm. I detest sarcasm - my H is great at it - and it just gets me going.<P>Like you said, Maybe it's just because I **can** sit here for a few hours a day and read</B>, so I can see how you think you're funny and not sarcastic!<P>or maybe it's the Corona leading you to believe this...<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thank you for coming back to read my apology. <P>I happen to be pretty thin-skinned... not a helpful trait, I know. I am working on it. I care far too much what EVERYone thinks, and I want to be friends with everyone. *If we all had a candle, what a bright world this would be* kind of stuff.<P>...sigh...<P>Again, thanks for accepting my apology. The last thing ANY of us need is pain from EACH OTHER... god knows we get too much of it at home!<P>
Posted By: sing Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/19/01 04:31 PM
NB,<P>Couldn’t leave the weather remark alone 42 degrees, ENJOY! <P>I'm now on my 300 day of the same weather every day, HOT, HUMID & it will rain sometime somewhere on the island. It is always 85 to 92 & never cooler than 75, I think it is a major cold front if it got down to 70. The bad thing as I moved here from Houston it is not much different than 10 months of the yr there. Actually it was cooler & less humid here when we arrived last Aug.<P>I am rambling but I am trying to stay up to make sure my OS doesn't sneak out of the house tonight. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Guess I will go read the Survivor's board; they are always good for a good laugh. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Besides sports, it’s the only TV show that is not at least last season, or the season before. I have now seen the 1st 4 yrs of Friends 2 to 3 times.<P>I am going to stop now, sorry for the ramble. <P>Your culture awareness has been brought to you by expat sing<BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]:
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sing:<BR><B>NB,<P>Couldn’t leave the weather remark alone 42 degrees, ENJOY! <P>I'm now on my 300 day of the same weather every day, HOT, HUMID & it will rain sometime somewhere on the island. It is always 85 to 92 & never cooler than 75, I think it is a major cold front if it got down to 70. The bad thing as I moved here from Houston it is not much different than 10 months of the yr there. Actually it was cooler & less humid here when we arrived last Aug.<P>I am rambling but I am trying to stay up to make sure my OS doesn't sneak out of the house tonight. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Guess I will go read the Survivor's board; they are always good for a good laugh. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Besides sports, it’s the only TV show that is not at least last season, or the season before. I have now seen the 1st 4 yrs of Friends 2 to 3 times.<P>I am going to stop now, sorry for the ramble. <P>Your culture awareness has been brought to you by expat sing<BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]:</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well THANK YOU [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <B>sing</B>!!!<P>I hate humidity... true enough... and the forever heat can get to you (I am from the deserts of California, remember!)...<P>... but it's really sooooo cold around here (waaay up in Canada).... can't I complain, just a little bit? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hugs!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><BR>
Can't we all just get along? Is there some reason for all of this hypersensitivity? Oh yeah, infidelity..........It does tend to make us all a little cranky.<P>NB,<P>I don't think I ever thought of you as thin-skinned, just amazingly resilient and forgiving! I don't see much sarcasm from you either, and I should know. Firestorm says I am the EXPERT on being sarcastic! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I don't think you have a chance to beat the megathread either, but I'm sure willing to do my part for the effort!<P>Now I know a bit more about you. Really interesting stuff. Like the fact that you are American by birth, but Canadian by choice! From the deserts of California to the snow fields of Canada. I think I feel a song coming on!<P>I'm REALLY glad you're here!<P>Love,<P>Peppermint
Come close to the screen <B>Peppermint</B>!! <P>Over here --><P>Here's a kiss on the cheek for you!<P>I adore you! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B> Thank you for coming back to read my apology. <P>I happen to be pretty thin-skinned... not a helpful trait, I know. I am working on it. I care far too much what EVERYone thinks, and I want to be friends with everyone. *If we all had a candle, what a bright world this would be* kind of stuff.<P>...sigh...<P>Again, thanks for accepting my apology. The last thing ANY of us need is pain from EACH OTHER... god knows we get too much of it at home!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Minus the sarcasm ( [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) you remind me of myself. I, too, care about what others think of me. I wish I could let things roll of my back more. I used to until my Hs As and now I'm hypersensitive!<P>So what is the mega-thread?<P>Have a great day!<P>It's supposed to be in the 70's here this weekend - can't wait!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR><P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL>
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B>Come close to the screen Peppermint</B>!! <P>Over here --><P>Here's a kiss on the cheek for you!<P>I adore you! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Now <B>this</B> gave me a chuckle - very creative! <P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL><p>[This message has been edited by Free2BMe (edited April 19, 2001).]
Hi Free,<P>The "MEGA THREAD" is over on the divorce board... and you will have NO TROUBLE finding it once you look... trust me! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>It bagan months and months ago... and it's where the Corona started flowing~~~~ you'll see. It was something that was meant to give us all (who were going through divorces) a fun diversion... it just kept going and going... and is STILL going.<P>I'm glad I made you smile! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>
Posted By: sing Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/20/01 02:11 AM
NB, you like Carolina Belle always make me smile, just seeing ya'lls names brings a little smile. <P>sing going out to sweat in the hot tropical humid day this one is for you NB. no I take that back Sat at the mid afternoon baseball game or sun when we are in a strip of a rainforrest with cub scouts planting trees I will think about you [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]:
Ah <B>sing</B>,<P>What a sweetie you are! <P>Do me a favor, will ya?<P>Send me some sunshine on Saturday. I sure could use it!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hugs, <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/20/01 06:54 PM
New beginnings...my old friend [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] DO you know that I named my web page new beginings? <BR>I am one of the people that have hardly been here lately. As you say, I felt I needed to move on, focus on our future as a couple instead of past mistakes.<BR>THere were also times where I would come here and feel that reading the painful stories was making me revive my own problems over and over again.<BR>But Every once in a while I still come here. And today I found this message.<BR>Not being here regularly I haven't notice this trend, but all I can say - as many other did in response to your post - is that when I first came here I was always encourage to first decide what I felt I need to do, and then try to follow trough with it.<BR>Plan A worked for me. I used it and recoment it- [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]- doesn't mean that it will work for everybody, but Isuppose we have to start somewhere.<BR>What I was never encouraged to do, was to just quit. This is -was - a board for solutions. Sharing experiences and learn from them. I found here a wonderful second family, that helped me to keep my perspective when I was down, told me to hang in there when It seemed there was no hope and cheered with me when the first positive signs appeared.<BR>Solutioons like "quit" and "dump" did certainly appear here and there, but were counteracted by responses from people tha had been trough the same we were and had advanced to another stage - no matter which - and that could enrich us with those experiences.<BR>I'm probably going off topic here, but I want to say just one more thing. <BR>To support others there is no need for knwoledge. Everyone can do that, you have to have some empathy I guess, and a desire to diminish pain .<BR>But to give suggestions one should follow the saying" a little knowledge is a dangerous thing" Because you enough to have an idea of what you're talking about, but not enough to understand the whole process, and your suggestion might harm more than help.<BR>And I better stay here before some of the old friends remember how long my posts usually are LOL<BR>Manyhugs to all<BR>I mightnot be here that often but you are still in my heart<BR>Kat
<B>KAT</B>!!!!!!<P>HI [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Oh, I miss having you around...<P>Please drop by whenever you can... you have been missed.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
It took me about a good year to figure out who the card fairy <I>really</I>was! SHHHHH..... I'm not telling! <P>Yes Samantha... I DO think YOU were the one to start the burning the candle tradition, when you prayed for all of us. And I think you started it with one of my frantic days! Thank you so much, I am forever grateful.<P>Sheba, it has been too long! I lost track of what was happening in your life since the D and the camping trip! I could reply to all of you. So many questions!<P>Last August, I signed up as a VISTA volunteer. It is like a domestic peace corps - you raise your right hand and promise to be available 24/7. And it has kept me extremely busy. Made a fantastic powerpoint presentation - writing grants and reports - designed a web-site, and lots and lots of traveling. I have a very interesting job. <P>We still haven't moved over to the lake house, and X still lives 4 doors down, and OW lives behind the X. Some things never change? But - now that the weather is finally starting to unthaw, (and flood - recruiting sandbaggers out there....) - I suppose we will get more done and closer to the goal of getting moved out of this crummy little town!<P>We are doing fabulous! I am sooooo glad that I found MB, and that you all were here with prayers and support. I know many times I was told by the best MB'ers to get out. But there was a little voice inside of me (God?) telling me that HE HATES DIVORCE, and that All things work together for good. IT IS SO TRUE!<P>It is so nice to see all of us here in one spot once again. I miss our old forum, and feel overwhelmed by the new people desperate for understanding and insight. <P>I have prayed so often for many of you. <P>God Bless you all.<P>TNT<BR>PS.... julie - I have special prayers for you, my friend. God loves you so very much, and he wants you to trust Him. The Lord says - that the only thing that we humans can do to please him, is to trust him. Do that, and you will be okay. I promise. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] {hugs to Love was Blind}<BR>
OH <B>TNT</B>,<P><stomping foot> You BRAT!! Who, who, who is the card fairy??? How can you come here and bait us like that? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P>It's <B>SOOO</B> good to see ya!!<P>
Posted By: NoMas Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 03:04 AM
I could not resist being post # 200<P>And one of these days...I will come back to have an encouraging report of my success! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I still lurk...frequently. <P>NB...I've got to ask you this....WHY...do you duplicate so many of the remarks that others have made? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<p>[This message has been edited by NoMas (edited April 20, 2001).]
Hi NoMas, I mean Mr. 200 (Rha Rha - Whoo Hoo [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com])...<P>Hey, what do you mean about "duplicating"? You mean when I "quote"???? If that's the case, I hit the "reply with quote" thingy (the one with the arrow next to it)... if not, 'splain, please and I'll try to answer.<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 20, 2001).]
It's me again . . .<P>I just had to post THIS reply on THIS thread. . . <P>This is my <B>1000</B>th post/reply. I guess this makes my status as an "old timer" official.<P>God Bless
Tell you what, NB...<P>If we get 300 posts by Next Saturday at 12:01 a.m., I'll tell you all....WHO the card fairy really is!<P>Impossible? Possible? hmmmm!!!! We'll see!<P>~tnt~
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 03:29 PM
Okey, dokey, count me in, 'cause I want to know who the card faire is! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I mostly lurk, but have been here since April of 1999. I try and post now and again.<P>It has been so nice to see so many names I recognize and some I have not seen on the board in quite some time. Nice to "see" you all! Thank you very much Sheryl and everyone for the post. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 03:33 PM
I wanna know who the Card Fairie is too!!<P>Hey! If the MEGA-Thread can have 151 pages and keep going, this thread can make it to 300 posts in no time! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 03:36 PM
Hey! Who IS the Card Faerie??? Enquiring minds wanna know!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
Hi <B>Raskel</B>... did you know <B>TNT</B> is a poopie-head??? She won't tell us unless we pass her test!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Count me in!! Gotta know!!!
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 03:40 PM
Hey!<P>If we're gonna win a prize, I'm a whiz at posting! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>NB, a poopie-head! LOL LOL LOL<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 04:24 PM
No, I did not know TNT was a poopie-head! Too funny! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Puh-lllleeeeeezzzeee tell us who is the card-faire? I remember that the card faire spelled their name a bit differently. It wasn't "The Card Fairy," it was more close to how Terri has it in her post, I think.
Hey, <P>This Card Fairy thing nearly drove me crazy trying to figure out who it was. If necessary I COULD make all those posts myself to find out! We are talking CST, right?<P>Peppermint
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 04:53 PM
~~We're going to win a prize~~<BR>~~We're going to win a prize~~<P>I can do this. Probably all by myself! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 04:55 PM
Hey ... I think some of my posts must've gotten lost in the 'big crash' because I only have 1,600 or so - and I KNOW I've posted more than that!<P>I wanna have 2,000 posts!<P>(Yes, I think I'm losing my mind... read my latest.)<BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/22/01 05:12 AM
This makes 2782 posts for me. And only since December 26, 1999. Can you say...ADDICTION?? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>
2916 since August 1999...<P>Addiction confirmed. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/22/01 05:18 AM
Hey NB!<P>Just think of all we could accomplish if we actually had real lives! LOL I know I have a house that could use a good cleaning! LOL [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Hey Mitz,<P>I vacuumed today!! Woo Hoo... is that a real life??? LOL
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 06:44 PM
What's a vacuume? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>This is my 1007th post since April 2000. I guess having posts in the 1,000 range is the definition of a "mid-timer". Only 993 more to go before I can graduate! Whew!<P>Coming in when I did, I think I missed the whole "Card Faire/Fairy" thing or was too delirious with pain to comprehend any of it. It does sound vaguely familiar, tho. Hmmmm. <P>Anyone want to give a brief synapsis on what you guys are talking about?<P>
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 07:13 PM
Hey Sheryl!<P>Looks like our lives are about the same! I vacuumed too! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Ok, let's put it this way, anyone that vacuums at least once a month or knows what a vacuum is, has a real life! Sound good?? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>The Card Faerie was a mysterious person who sent cards to MBers on special occassions and holidays or if someone was having a difficult day, they got a card! <P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Hello.....<BR>I thought a vacuume was the part of my husbands head between his ears!!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>I am trying to grow new good thoughts in that dead space...LOL LOL....it's working!<P>Almost Happy<P>-----<BR>TIME
Hey Mitz,<P>Ah, but did you put down nice citrus smelling powdery stuff so that your cat box didn't smell up the joint??? huh, did ya, did ya???? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 07:53 PM
NB,<P>No, I did not! I'll leave the citrus smelling powdery stuff for you! Myself, I used vanilla floral smelling powdery stuff! LOL LOL As for the cat box stinking up the joint...don't have a cat box! The cat poops outside! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitz [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 09:19 PM
2973 for me - now 2974, I guess. Not many and I hit the 3000 mark all by myself. If I can do that, this thread can CERTAINLY hit 300!!<P>C'mon TNT - tell us! <P>We miss you!<P>Lori
I guess I am an "old-timer" by years, not posts. I checked and only have a little over a measly 1500 posts! And I thought I was obsessed with this place [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I've been around since the spring or summer of 1998....left for a while and then came back to visit, only to find many more new people here than when I left. I do remember the "great crash".....it was terrible...our whole history gone up in cyber-smoke.<P>I didn't know the card faeiry...or however you spell it....well, but I do remember seeing the name a lot. I'm curious too who it was.<P>Here's my contribution to getting that magic 300 posts! <P>------------------<BR>"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Posted By: Lilly Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/21/01 11:23 PM
Look at this, I drop in and the gangs been all here. It was nice to read that everyone seems to be doing good one way or the other.<P>I stopped giving any advice a long time ago, since what was happenning to me was so out of control. I still read and catch good advice occasionally.<P>But you know what. Here we are. We just celebrated our 24th anniversary last weekend. It was wonderful. We bought a new travel trailer and snowmobiles this year and I am loving life. Best of all, right now I am watching my husband outside working on the yard! He cares about it! Yay!<P>Nice to catch up on everyone. Whoever finds out who the card fairie was better tell!<P>Lilly
Hiya all-I too want to know who the card fairie is. But I also want to give you ADDICTS a good laugh or two.<P>First of all-I am only on post #334 [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] And that is since August 1999. I remember when the OWH was pissed because I had over 150 posts. LOL He would be so ashamed of many of you [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Secondly-I vacuum almost every day-sometimes twice [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I clean houses for people as a side job. But I also enjoy vacuuming-STOP LAUGHING. When I was married the first time my exH hated me to clean-so clean I did. When I turned on the vac I could drown him OUT-LOL<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."<p>[This message has been edited by heartache (edited April 21, 2001).]
<B>Hello to all you good people</B><P>I want to know who the Card Fairie was too! Here's my contribution to the 300 posts.<P>I have three user names. The first one was <B>Samantha-MI</B> and somehow it became unusable for me. Just couldn't access it anymore? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] That name had 760 posts. Although in my defense, many of them got lost in the crash of 99 and when they archived the forums and made the individual forums. <P><B>A blessed Samantha</B> my current user name, has 369 posts. I am very surprised it is so few? It's puzzlement to me?<P><B>it's me Samantha</B> is the identity I use while I am at work, that one has 369 posts. Geeze, I am hoping they don’t catch on at work? I really do work guys and just don’t spend my time on MB. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>So my tally is 1498 until this one and counting. LOL I am for sure addicted remember a year or so ago asking when Steve was going to make a “Twelve Step Program” called “Marriage Builders Anonymous?”<P>I guess I should be grateful that some of them got lost. I have been here since May 5, 1999.<P><B>TNT aka Trust n Truth</B><P>I can’t believe you know who the Card Fairie was, and I don’t know? Did you tell me once? Geeze again <B>PSABD!</B><P><B>Vacuuming ladies</B><P>I do that task not often enough, housework is not my forte’! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I am really fortunate these days the vac is broken and we’re awaiting the part in the mail. So I still may have a few days reprieve from that duty. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Great thread, I can’t wait for it to get to 300 and for us all to get the prize.<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 21, 2001).]
I too want to know who the Card Fairy is.<P>I am replying for a different reason though. . .PLEASE see my thread about needing help for a friend.<P>This is another chance for all of us "Old Timers" to help address the "Alarming Trend" that Sheryl started this thread over.<P>God Bless<p>[This message has been edited by Empty Shell (edited April 21, 2001).]
Welcome to a SUNNY [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] (yippie!) Sunday!!!<P>First post today to get the "magic 300" [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Alright Here I am Again,<P>I too want to know who the heck was the Card Fairie! Puhlezzz tell!! <P>------------------<BR><B>God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B><P>l**edit**
Hi all you "old timers"! Sheryl, you have a special way of bringing people out of the woodworks!<P>I have been on a very much needed hiatus. I read this stuff everyday. I agree with someone some many pages ago that some of this serves only as a constant reminder to keep my wound open. As I am not dealing with my situation very well at all, I don't reply often, as I don't have any successes to post about. My horrendous "triangle" story ended up quite nicely for my ex-h and Mia. Trust me there is no "fog" for them.<P>I do want to thank you Sheryl for your tireless support of me and my ever changing emotional state. And also to Sheba, who way back when I thought I was doing my damnest to save my marriage she was right there coaching me along. There are a few of you, mainly I can remember someone named Maya, and WhoDat who actually stated that my now ex-h should divorce me, but heck, that was their opinion then. And perhaps I deserved it. <P>So, Sheryl, if you ever get back to this dessert area and want a place to visit, you are always welcome!<P>Tanya
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/22/01 04:25 PM
Wow ... so many people, so many stories ... some so sad and some happy and some, like me, kinda still in limbo.<P>TL, so sorry things worked out so badly for you. Sometimes it truly is difficult to see what we will lose until we have lost it. Then, we tend to kick ourselves and beat ourselves up over the "if onlies"... trust me, the "if onlies" are so incredibly self-destructive. I hope that you can find your way to the place where I am. I truly still love my husband, but I'm filling up my life with so many other things that I enjoy. I'm not as happy as I <B>think</B> I would be if the slug and my husband came to a parting of the ways, and I'm not as happy as I <B>would</B> be if my husband came back to me and said he wanted to try again... but I <B>am</B> happy. Yep, there are definite ups and downs, but even in this place, MB, I am not always thinking of my husband. I pray that you can get to that place in your life.<P>Happy Sunny Sunday all!<BR>[post #232!]<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I><p>[This message has been edited by terri (edited April 22, 2001).]
Hey Everyone!!!<P>I've seen this post grow and grow and thought it may be time for me to throw in my update and thread count...(I'll check it after I post and add an edit - I'm a bit afraid to see what it says, although I haven't been here too much lately there was a time I was posting several times a day [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Arik and I are doing really well, he no longer works with OW and has no desire to do so - in fact he had been approached by his boss about it and has stated to me that if they request it he would want to turn them down and did turn down a chance to work with OW just a couple months ago)<BR> * for those who don't know OW works on a special crew at Arik's job. If he were on this crew he would have to report to her daily to find out the assigned jobs for our region and get the information needed to complete the job.<BR>His leaving the crew was one of the many turning points in our recovery proccess.<P>Our schedules are really hectic so we don't see as much of each other as we like but the times that we do see each other are real quality times. I will be finished with school in a few weeks - finals this week and then a 3 week practicum -, and then I will have to find a job. Soon my life will be back to normal.<P>I still have moments of sad reflection, of shock that this ever happened, of terror that it may happen again, of anger that it ever happened in the first place, but for the most part I go on day to day and take each momment as they come.<P>I thank God for the time I have to work on my marriage and to build a better relationship with Arik, and a better family life for my kids.<P>Anway, that's the update in a nutshell. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>59 as untallnikba - my former user name<BR>614 as Patient Love<P>For a Grand Total of 673<BR>Not as bad as I thought<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited April 22, 2001).]
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/22/01 04:38 PM
Are we there yet????????????<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Lori
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 05:25 AM
No, Lori ... This post should be [post #235] - just to keep us on track ... and counting!<P>T
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/22/01 06:00 PM
Thanks, Terri.....just trying to do my part! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Lori
Funny thing, I always thought LORI was the card fairy!<P>Peppermint
Posted By: Orchid Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/22/01 07:03 PM
Hi,<BR>Will you all let a newbi in? Been having a rough few weeks. Oh heck, the whole thing has been rough, but many of you have been there for me. Thanks.<P>I wanted to say hi to TL. Good to hear from you. <P>Also, you people are doing a great job over there on the p/c board. Man, those are some crazy OWs. They are pretty bold and nuts. What were our mates thinking when they went out there? Trade reasoning mates for psyco's? <P>Ok, gotta go. Oh, wanted to add my 2 cents about vacuuming. Right now I am in the middle of shampooing & vacuuming my carpets. Kind of therapuetic for me. Feels good to clean up the house. Next, the garage.<P>L.
Thanks for the help you guy'ses (said guises [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] ) in getting to the BIG 300 (although that was my weight in 1998 and I really don't like that number -- tee hee, being silly)...<P><B>Nicole</B>, Thanks for the update hon!!! Good job to you and Arik!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><B>TANYA</B>, my god girl, I was worried about you!!<P>I will be sure to call ya (send that phone number to my email honey!) next time I go to town!!!!!!!!!<P>Love you!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/22/01 08:15 PM
Hey, Peppermint, it's not me. She was here b/f I came, I think. I've had some guesses, but I really don't know and I've been dying to find out!<P>Hey, TNT, you'd better not back out on us now...that's the reason I'm hanging around this week!<P>Lori
Hi Orchid,<P>Yep, you're a newbie (and a pretty smart one to boot!) and you're welcome in the quest to find the card fairie (that's the way I think it was spelled! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )...
Okay, I'll chime in just to let everyone here know that I too am still around, somewhat anyway. Empty Shell is here more than I am but that's okay. He's great at giving advice. I don't think I am.<P>Besides, I want to know who the Card Fairie is anyway......
Posted By: sing Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/22/01 11:34 PM
trying to do part for the 300th<P><BR>NB,<P>Just wanted you to know that I enjoyed a perfect day at machine pitch in your honor. We had the 3 o'clock game was really worried about the heat, the boys just die at the noon games, well we had clouds, threats of rain but nice breezes, kept the humidity down, shade for the parents, beautiful scenery. They were playing out where the military housing is for expats, all these old black & whites left over from the British colonial rule, nice & peaceful.<P>Now Sunday in the rainforest, no sun down under the canopy but HUMID, I didn't have a dry thread on by the time we got back, even with bug spray still have some pesky bite<P><BR>Orchid, honey if you like cleaning that much feel free to hop a Sing Air jet & you can come do mine. I don't clean till there is no choice with 2 ACTIVE boys, there is always no choice, think i hear laundry calling my name
<B>Hopeful</B>!!! <P>Hi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Nice to see ya... and thanks for the help with the card fairie!!!!!!!!<P><B>sing</B>, Hey I got the sunshine you sent today!!! Nice and sunny!!! Thanks!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: schizzo Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 01:05 AM
I always thought Sheba was the card fairy???
Hey, has anyone seen or heard from Chris lately? I started thinking about him this evening and was wondering how he was doing.....<P>Hope to hear from him soon
Part one of two...because for some odd reason, I can't post the entire post at one time (too windy????)<P>Oh My! This is truly a MONSTER of a thread...the grand-daddy of 'em all...the post to top all posts...<P>As far as the original "theme" of this post, I'm afraid I'm not "current" with this forum and who posts here and what's being said. I hang out in recovery...post very rarely now due to time constraints (have a new fulltime job which keeps me VERY BUSY). But, not too busy to adore my H...and get my 15 hours in [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com].<P>On the other hand, I recognize several, if not all, of the names posted here on this thread...<P><B>HI EVERYONE!</B><P>Sidebar to <B>Leilana</B>: THANKS FOR THE INVITE!!!<P>Special note to <B>Schizzo</B>: SO VERY GLAD FOR YOUR CONTINUED HAPPINESS. SO GENUINELY HAPPY TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE FINDING YOUR PEACE.<P>On Voting for Longest Poster: <B>Lori or Dylan</B>. I think I'm leaning towards Lori on this one! I remember once, very early on in finding this site, I printed out Lori's entire thread on her success story (I think it took six pages to print out!!!!!!) I still pull it out and read it from time to time <sigh>...what a great story! <B><I>OH MY--I just called Lori's story of infidelity a GREAT STORY!</B></I> See!!!, see how some of us are truly blessed???? To be able to call a story of infidelity a GREAT STORY!!! Lori, did you see what I just said....A GREAT STORY...A LOVE STORY...A TUG AT YOUR HEARTSTRINGS STORY...such a powerfully, awesome message you sent out to so many who weren't as far along in the *process* as your were. You are my hero of sorts---so strong, so loving, so centered, so focused, so in-tune with what you needed to do. Gosh, I admire you! Remember when you decided to quit calling yourself the BS??? How you decided that you didn't want that label??? I loved that story too! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P>Now, let's try to post...for the umpteenth time...<drumroll please!>....<P>~Marie<P>------------------<BR>I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. <P>The Bible<BR>Matthew 17:20<p>[This message has been edited by ohmy_marie (edited April 22, 2001).]
TA DA!!! Oh MY! It worked...<P>Part Two: Because there are just so many of you I want/need to THANK...<P><B>Sheryl and Lor</B>: Wow! And, DOH! No wonder my posts only number a little over 500...I had no idea I was supposed to reply back to everyone who posted on one of my threads [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. Woe is me....gulp. Thanks for the heads-up on this...I'll try to be more sensitive in this area. Does it help to know that I read, absorb, and decipher each and every reply?????<P><B>Peppermint</B>: Who couldn't love someone with such an adorable "handle"? You are a WARRIOR...a TRUE SURVIVOR!<P><B>Leilana</B>: The Island Goddess of Recovery [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. Gosh, how I needed your gentle whack on the head from time-to-time...but, can't I just whine every now and then????<P><B>SKM</B>: The BEST WS IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!! I honorably dub thee "Out of the Fog Princess". My WS HERO... <P><B>K</B>: I gotta give you credit--I admire the heck out of you too! Geesh, sometimes you drive me crazy with your "by the book" posts...BUT, you certainly are FOCUSED. And, you know your stuff [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]. And, I know I must sometimes drive you crazy (you've probably considered me to be a "lost cause" at times...then again, maybe you've never given me a second thought). Just wanted you to know that I'VE HEARD YOU MANY TIMES. Again, I admire your wisdom of Harley Principles. But, NO, I STILL HAVE NO DESIRE TO COUNSEL WITH EITHER OF THE HARLEY's PERSONALLY!...but I did read the book cover-to-cover...at least three times!!!!! And, I have poured over all the articles, eaten up every iota of information Mr. Harley has to offer.<P>To <B>HGB</B>: Not only do I consider you to be a mentor to many--but I kinda like thinking of you as my very own personal guardian angel. Thanks for answering my calls for help...you are truly gifted.<P><B>Persevering and Everhopeful</B>: I see so much of myself in each of you at times, that sometimes it truly breaks my heart to read your posts. Please remember to focus on what you truly want for yourselves and your families as your H's continue to be less of what you HOPE and DREAM about. <P>Personally, H and I continue to move forward. Feeling stronger, healthier, more focused, more secure....more hopeful. More at peace. More in love. TOGETHER.<P>Thanks for the wonderful thread! Peace and Love, ~Marie<P><BR>------------------<BR>I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. <P>The Bible<BR>Matthew 17:20<p>[This message has been edited by ohmy_marie (edited April 22, 2001).]
Building up the numbers here, I don't want to wait until Saturday. I want to know who the <B>Card Fairie</B> was!<P>Night all<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 22, 2001).]
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 03:01 AM
I'm with you!<P>I'm so excited to see all these people posting - it's been so long since I've seen some of them... I'm GLAD GLAD GLAD that we have this place!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 03:16 AM
Well, here I am again, checking to see if we get to find out, yet. I have some guesses who the card fairie was/is, should we start posting those? <P>Anything for us to find out!!! Thanks all for keeping this going. I am so glad more have popped in (Patient Love, OhMyMarie, Orchid, hopeful, sing, wow so many!). [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Good morning!!!!<P>TNT said we have to hit 300 posts by Saturday for her to tell us who the Card Fairie is...<P>Yeah, let's post guesses... and mine is HER (TNT) or HurtButCoping...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Hi <B>ohmy_marie</B>,<P>I'm cheating a bit since ***I CAN*** because it's MY THREAD, MINE, MINE, MINE :EEK: Actually, it's become OURS, OURS, OURS, eh? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Nice to have you aboard!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <BR>
Posted By: K Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 01:55 PM
ohmy_marie,<P>**edit** Just in case you change your mind...<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 02:04 PM
Just doing my part today! I never really had a clue who it was, so no guesses for me. Gotta go cut grass!<P>See ya!<P>Lori
Posted By: SKM Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 03:44 PM
Ohmy -<P>Oh, freakin my. 17 pages this thread has gone, and I managed to stay out of this for 17 freakin pages, then you had to go and mention my username! I had to go back through about 13 pages! And here I thought I could ignore this one! Wrong. I had to jump on, say hi, do the WS - out of the fog dance (similar to an Irish jig because of my Irish ancestory - plus I like the taps), and post my 1016th post. Guess I'm an old fart -or maybe just a "tweener." Can't believe I made my 1000 - Since I'm from the Balitmore area, I'm going to try and go for Cal Ripkin's record - instead of number of successive games played - number of posts posted! They'll be calling me the "Iron WS" before this is all over!<p>[This message has been edited by SKM (edited April 23, 2001).]
SKM,<P>Just have to say to you that you are one insightful, wonderful, beautiful woman!! I appreciate everything you've written so much.<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
No guesses or words of wisdom - just wanted to add another stone to the pile!<P>I hope everyone is starting their week on a positive note!<P>God Bless!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL>
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 04:46 PM
Only 43 more posts to go!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 04:48 PM
OOPS!! Make that 41! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 04:56 PM
Hello again [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>Boy now this took a turn that really interests me LOL YOuknow that in all this time I never really found out who the Card fairy was???? Every once in a while I thought I knew but them puff!! It seemed it couldn't be.<BR>SO please let's get this mystery unravelled LOL<BR>Many hugs to all,<BR>and have a wonderful day<P>------------------<BR>"Each and everyone of us is deserving of a gentle thougth, a kind word and the gift of understanding"
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 05:11 AM
I do remember, Marie, and thank you for saying just the sweetest things!<P>Hi, Kat! <P>Are we close yet? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Lori
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 05:13 AM
finding out who would be cool, since I've often wondered where she WENT!!!<P>Bye again.<P>Lori<P>Dang!!! "We have flood control activated....." I'm NOT good at waiting and not very patient! Dum, dum, de dum, la, la, la ......has it been 60 seconds yet?
Lori,<P>Could you drop by my thread on working with the OP.<P>A woman there needs your advice... Her name is Octavia99...<P>Thanks in advance! <p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 23, 2001).]
NB,<P>I actually went back to the many pages I neglected to read before getting my undies in a wad and I must say I'm very impressed with your posts and your sense of humor (did I really say that?)! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I hereby <B>officially</B> rescind my remarks about YOU being sarcastic! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Have a most awesome day!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Just adding in one more towards the great 300. <P>ohmy_Marie<BR>Thank you....I'm just glad I could offer a little encouragement along the way. <P><P>------------------<BR>"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Oh my GAWD <B>Free</B>!!!!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] and [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] and [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>THANK YOU!!!! <P><I'm all giddy now!>
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 05:37 AM
Hi Lori [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>Did you ever receive my last e-mail?<BR>I had another crash grrrrr......<BR>HGB so good to "see" you [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>NB I posted on that thread, but you know my experience.. a bit different.<BR>Many hugs<P>------------------<BR>"Each and everyone of us is deserving of a gentle thougth, a kind word and the gift of understanding"
Hi to my lovely pal <B>Kat</B>,<P>Hey, EVERY opinion is wanted and respected here...<P>Love ya, Sheryl<P><B>**THANKS TO ALL** for helping to get this monster to 300... I'm just chompin' at the bit to find out who that pesky (and loved) Card Fairie was/is/could-be-again [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]</B>
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 05:51 AM
I know that hon [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>FIrst real sunny day in here, maybe spring is really waking up now.<BR>are we close to 300 already???? LOL<BR>Hugs<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>"Each and everyone of us is deserving of a gentle thougth, a kind word and the gift of understanding"
Posted By: david87 Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 06:05 PM
I am new. I have read the Harley info. I love it, and I believe in the MB concepts. I posted for the first time this month in the plan A/B area. The title of my post is "My Wife & The Convict" Look at the great "Harleyesque" advice I was given. Take heart old timers, The site is still an emotional lifesaver.
Hi david,<P>Okay, I'll go look and I'm glad you got some emotional comfort and good advice here... that's what it's all about!
Posted By: sing Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 06:17 PM
Hey the rate this is going it will hit 300 before i get up in the morning, but as that is only 4 hrs away. I might as well stay up & cry some more<BR>
Talk to us sweet <B>sing</B>!!!!! Why the tears tonight?? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 06:25 PM
Kat - heck NO I didn't get your email....I figured I'd just sit and whine about it "nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat a worm!" Did you guys sing that when you were kids or is it just weird kids like me? LOL Seriously Kat, I crashed and burned and got a new puter and I'm still putting stuff back together. Heck, Honey, I made it through THAT crisis and had 3 more since then!!! B0y, do we have a lot to catch up on!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Sheryl - I didn't see the thread, but she hollered out in recovery and I found her there. Don't know how much help I was though, his being gone so much would be a REAL problem for me....but you know me, not enough of a problem to give up! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Confused has pretty much done in my brain for a while, I'm afraid. For some reason he reminded me of Arik so I'm still trying, I guess.<P>Oh, gotta run - I'll check back in. Hey, TNT, you'd better not forget your promise. Miss you, btw!<P>Lori<BR>
Posted By: sing Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 06:34 PM
NB, <P>don't want to put a downer on this thread. How about all my worst fears are coming true, today(tomorrow for ya'll) may in up being one of the worst days of my life, we will see how the cookie crumbles [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I never wanted on this ride, can I PLEASE get off now.<P>
Ah sing, can you write your feelings on another thread then? Maybe begin one of your own???<P>I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers today (your tomorrow!)...<P>Take care.
What? We're not at 300 YET? Shoot, if this thread was about SEX, we would have made it LONG ago!<P>Lori, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KNOW THAT "WORM" SONG! Firestorm sings that thing all the time! I thought it was just something he made up, even though he told me it was a REAL SONG! I guess I will have to apologize for doubting him about it!<P>Sing, Special Prayers For You!<P>Peppermint
Bringing the thread up. What's the count now?
I think it's 280...<P>Inquiring minds want to know the Card Fairie [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: K Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/23/01 08:04 PM
I can categorically deny any involvement with the Card Fairie. In fact, given who hasn't shown up, perhaps it was our old friend Wex??<P>Or maybe D99??<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by K:<BR><B>I can categorically deny any involvement with the Card Fairie. In fact, given who hasn't shown up, perhaps it was our old friend Wex??<P>Or maybe D99??<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, the fact that you would "categorically deny" involvement speaks volumes... <P>YOU <B>KNOW</B> WHO IT IS!! <P>Wex wasn't here at the beginning of the card fairie thingy... I don't think it's him...<P>But YOU know... and TNT knows... hmmm...maybe a *group effort*??????<P>One wonders....
Sounds like another conspiracy theory to me!<P>I've been wracking my brain trying to remember all the people who "disappeared" at about the same time the Card Fairy stopped making deliveries.<P>Somebody please tell! Inquiring minds want to know, and we don't want to have to buy some sleazy tabloid to find out!<P>Peppermint
Just wanted to pop in and add a quick hello to all the people who saved my sanity through the past year and a half. Keep up the good work, and keep those newbies headed in the right direction. <P>Thank you for all the support...miss you all<P>allison<P>...on to 300...
Hi <B>allison</B>,<P>How the heck are ya? You're post was missing all the info, doncha know.<P>Really. How are you?
Sorry, me again, but guess what I just noticed... after this post, I have three more and I'm at...<P><BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] 3000 [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Can you believe that? Me neither!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Some pages back on THIS VERY THREAD I said I had 2916... good grief, I need a job!! <BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 23, 2001).]
Sheryl,<P>It's the Cyber Police!! Step away from the computer with your hands plainly in sight. Lie face down on the ground and interlace your fingers above your head.<P>You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law and TS will blast you.[just kidding TS] You have the right to pay TV before questioning. You have the right to have your attorney present with you during lunch, but not dinner. If you cannot afford a lunch, one will be appointed for you at no expense to you without the salad bar. You may choose to exercise these rights at any time. Tanning is only available until 2100.<P>Yes, I know. I just afforded you the opportunity to get one more post in.<P>Go for it!!!<P>
Yeah Timster, I just did it!<P>Am I insane or what????? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P>Oh, and I'll take the coconut oil and Corona and lime.... is that a choice??? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Police, what police???? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited April 23, 2001).]
I sense a real race coming here to be the all-powerful 300th post! Who will the winner be? And what will they win? Besides sore fingers and wondering looks from a family who wonders what in the world they are doing hovering over the computer like that. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I once read a list of things that proved you were addicted to email....you could substitute MB for email here. The one that stuck with me was "You get up during the night to go the bathroom and stop at the computer to see if you have mail." <P>I think some of us here....names shall be withheld to protect the innocent....may have reached that point [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <BR>But I confess.....I'm right there with ya!<P>------------------<BR>"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Names withheld to protect the *innocent*... who's innocent around these parts??? Certainly none of US!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Well, guess what folks... I'm off to the races and/or dinner ... have to log off for now, and I fully expect to find it pass 300 by the time I get back!!<P>I hope it's not an anti-climax when we actually do find out who CF was... that would be very, very sad!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>You can bet your hiney that I'll be checking back in about two to three hours!!<P>Have at it, and may the best man or woman win! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 01:31 AM
10 MORE TO GO!!!!!!!<P>We're gonna find out who the Card Fairie is!!!<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 01:35 AM
Almost to 300? Well, my guesses are Dawnetta aka Butterfly or Samantha. Am I close? <P>I chuckled Firestorm when you said if this was about sex, we would've made 300 already. Too funny! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>K's comment about D99 being the card fairie almost made me really loose it. <P>On to 300!<BR>
Posted By: sing Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 02:47 AM
It is getting close.<P>I fit HB's email, or MB addict. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Help I am on the computer & I can't get off. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Okay....I want to see it hit 300, too...<P>Here's my contribution...I don't know how many posts I have. Where do I look? I knew once....<P>Have fun, everybody!<P>--HBC
Look under the sunglasses HBC...<P>Gee whiz guys, I thought for sure we'd hit 300 tonight!!!
I AM HERE TO HELP THE EFFORT [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>TELL ALL!!!!<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."
Posted By: sing Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 03:23 AM
doing my part & i don't even care who the card fairy is
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 03:32 AM
Bite your tongue NB I am very innocent! LOL<BR>I am not turning this computer off until we reach the 300, so finish your dinner and come back fast, I'm not sleeping without knwoing who the CF is [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>We have to be close.....<BR>Kat
Oh, I'm here now, at number <B>298</B>...
<B>Hi</B><P>Just checking in and loving this thread. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><B>Raskal</B><P>I would love to take credit for being the lovely lady the Card Fairie is, but alas it is not me.<P>Can't wait for the 300 post to show. Now I wonder if <B>TNT</B> will check in here before Saturday? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Much love to you all and big hugs,<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 23, 2001).]
<B>Sorry I couldn't resists, this is 300!!!!!!!!!!!!!</B><P>We win the prize. Come on <B>TNT</B> where are you????????????<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 23, 2001).]
Hey All!!!<P>Did I get it? HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH?
Samantha,<P>That's not fair!!!! I want a recount. What's this world coming to?
Whoo HOO!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>WHOO HOO!!!<P>Sorry Timmy, you're number 301 [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
<B>Sorry Zippy</B><P>We must have been just seconds apart. The good news is we all get the prize! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I am so excited! I think I will just have to e-mail that <B>TNT</B> and tell her to cough up with the info!<P>Soon we will all know who the <B>Card Fairie</B> was, and maybe; just maybe she'll show up? Now that would be two great prizes at once! I really do miss her.<P>Hugs, Tim! Since <B>NB</B> has officially given the recount you are <B>301</B>! You know what they say???????? All's fair in love & war. Posting too! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>By the way my vote goes to <B>Dawnetta</B>. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 23, 2001).]
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 04:09 AM
Oh boy! can't wait ! First couldn't wait until we got to 300. now can't wait until I know who it is... what a night!lol<BR>Kat
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 05:30 AM
I'm just grinning at you silly people! <P>How long will it take for TNT to get here? <P>May I offer a suggestion? While we're waiting for TNT, how about us trying to deduce this puppy using the process of elimination?<P>It's not me. OK. We're getting warmer. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P>
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 05:42 AM
ANd it's not me either. Two down... how many more to go ? LOL<BR>Kat<BR>
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 05:56 AM
Gee, it feels odd to be a junior member again... where can I view my old profile anyone knows?<BR>Kat
<B>Kat</B><P>Do a search on your old user name and then when you find one of your posts, just hit the ole' sunglasses. You'll see it.<P>Hugs,<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 24, 2001).]
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 06:26 AM
Ok, it's not Kat. <P>And we know it's not Samantha, Medic or NB, either, right? <B>Unless</B> we have a mole in our midst. <P>Hmmmm....<p>[This message has been edited by Leilana (edited April 24, 2001).]
<B>Leliana</B><P>Nope it is not me! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Further more I am no "mole" lady. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] LOL Maybe a cute little racoon or possibly a squirell might best describe me, but not a mole! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hugs,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 24, 2001).]
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 07:08 AM
*<p>[This message has been edited by Leilana (edited April 24, 2001).]
Posted By: Leilana Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 07:09 AM
Hmmm...just the kind of thing a mole might say. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Ok, squirell-girl. You're off the hook for now--but don't be leaving town, see. Or be making any sudden-like moves. <P> <BR><p>[This message has been edited by Leilana (edited April 24, 2001).]
Well... where is TNT? <P>What if she doesn't come till Saturday?<P>What if she doesn't come at all?<P>What if...<P>... friend steps in and slaps Sheryl's face... clearly she is going insane...<P>Thanx, I needed that! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 02:02 PM
Yes! Yes! Yes! We made it! Great job! Am I excited?! Yep, I am! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Samantha, thanks for letting me know it wasn't you. You are so thoughtful, I thought it might be you. Oh, then that means it could be lots of people. NB, Lori, Sheba, Mitzi....the list goes on. And then there is Dawnetta, still.<P>Where is TNT??! I wanna know! Anyone else know that is willing to tell us? Please? Pretty please?? Sugar on top? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 04:43 PM
Not me! Hey, Samantha, were you just hanging on here so you could beat out Zippy for #300!!!<P>You, know, if I know tnt, she's gonna make us hang on until Sat, just like she originally said. <P>Hmmmmmmm.....what kind of trouble can we get into in just a few days - the possibilities are endless!<P>Lori
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 04:54 PM
Gee, I wish I could say that I was the Card Fairie, but I'm not. She was here long before I was! But, I CAN say that I got a couple of cards FROM the Card Fairie! LOL LOL<P>TNT, TNT, TNT!!!! Where the heck is she??<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Yeah, she's a POOPIE HEAD for not coming back and taking the weight of the quest off of our shoulders!!!!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>TNT, oh TNT, where art thou?????
See TNT, we did what you said.. we got to 300... see, see, see????? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/24/01 09:50 PM
You think that will bring TNT out of the woodwork, NB? *chuckle* <P>Woooo Hooooo, TNT.....over heeeerrrrrreeeee.......
<B>Okay, I just saw on Medic's thread that <I>Bozo's Deb</I> knows who the <I>Card Fairie</I> is!</B><P> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/008525.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/008525.html</A> <P>First I am going to plead with <B>Deb</B> to tell us! <B>Please Deb, pretty please! Come on please tell us! Please! I will let you have my most prized Barbie Doll!</B><P>(if that doesn't work folks (and please join in and plead with me), then we'll just have to use force! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] )<P>I happen to agree with <B>Lostva/Lori</B>! I think <B>TNT</B> will make us wait until Saturday. First she is really busy with her Vista work and recovering her marriage, secondly she is probably getting a kick out of this. <P>I have e-mailed <B>TNT</B> and gotten no response yet. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <B>Everyone</B> Who has <B>TNT's</B> e-mail addy, lets flood her mail box with pleas.<P>Talk to you all later. I am off to <B>Zippy's</B> thread <B>(AKA Medic)</B><P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 24, 2001).]
I'm about a million posts behind, but didn't want TNT to miss this siren call, err screamin', when she logs on.
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/26/01 04:54 AM
HEY! Maybe DEB will tell us if our thread hits 400????<P>How about it Deb???!!!<P>I WANNA KNOW WHO THE CARD FAIRIE IS!!!!!<P>ahem. Sorry. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
<B>Terri</B><P><B>Me too, me too!</B><P>I will hold my breath until I turn blue. Oh no, then you'll all think I am "Smurfette"! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hugs,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 26, 2001).]
This is my thread and I'll move it up if I want to!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>DO WE HAVE TO WAIT TILL SATURDAY???? GEEZ...<P>My ADHD mind is whirling around in a state of euphoria/frenzy at the prospect that we *may* find out who that fluttering angel is/was...
<B>new_beginning</B><P>I love this thread so I am moving it up. I want to see this one go forever.<P>Hugs and big thanx,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 27, 2001).]
<B>It is now offically Saturday! Where are you TNT? Calling TNT calling TNT, please pick up the red hot phone in the lobby so you can announce over the loud speaker who "the Card Fairie" is!</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 28, 2001).]
<B>Up, up and way up to the top. Waiting for TNT! Don't make us kidnap you and apply pressure tactics. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]</B><P><B>WHO IS THE CARD FAIRIE! SPILL IT TNT</B><P>Love to all,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 28, 2001).]
Hi everyone,<BR> Wow this thread brought everyone out of the woodwork.<BR> I don't know if anyone remembers me, but I am a very old timer too. I came here almost 3 years ago, and I still stop by sometimes and lurk.<BR> I am not sure why, but I feel like we are all somehow a group of people who can understand the things that nobody else understands.<BR> I have been through soo much since I came here, I can't even begin to tell it all, but I am a sucess story, We are doing great, even better than before, better than I ever hoped posible.<BR> I know I should post more often, because I do have advise, I just feel like everyone is doing fine without me, so I come in and read to see how all my old friends are doing, and to be in a place where people understand all the things I feel even now.<BR> I think most people who come here, come back again and again, no matter how things turn out, just to be with all you wonderful people who were there when no one else was.
Posted By: Katb Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 04/29/01 05:48 AM
Hello again [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>SOrry I didn't show up in these last days. Picketing doesn't agree with me! DId so well in the first 3 weeks, and got sick right on the end LOL<BR>Got a really bad cold... actually it felt worse than a bad cold... but I guess it wasn't that bad, since I survived.Fever is down and I'm not feeling like a jello pudding, with shaky legs and dizzy spells LOL<P>SO TNT forgot all about the promise huh?<BR>We have to sign a petition... we need that answer! BOy this union business is contagious! <P>ANyway while nursing my cup of chicken soup - yes! of course 1 am is the best time to have chicken soup! - I though I would check and finally have the secret revealed... but alas... nothing is here... so I"m off to check the other threads.<P>By the way broweyes.. Of course I remember you. Glad to hear that everything is great. Same here, better than before!<BR>Many hugs to all<BR>Kat
Hi <B>BROWNEYES</B>, <P>Yes, I remember you... maybe it's because I have brown eyes too!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>As you can tell, the end of the posts are us-guys trying to remind TNT that she promised to tell us who the card fairie is if this thread hit 300... remember the card fairie, BROWNEYES??? I don't suppose that YOU know who she is, huh, huh??? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hey <B>Kat</B>, <P>Thanks for keeping this up top, my dear... <P>God, it's good to have you back!!!!<P>
Hi again,<BR> I do remember the card fairy, but I don't have a clue who it is. This is fun though, keep trying everyone I can't wait to hear.
<B>Where in the heck is TNT with the information?</B><P>I am moving this up because I am obsessed. Not to mention a tad bit worried about <B>TNT!</B> has anyone heard from her? She has not answered my e-mails? <P>Saying a prayer now that <B>TNT</B> and family are all well and happy.<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 30, 2001).]
Honestly, I'm worried too... <P>...believe it or not, I kinda don't care anymore who the fairie is... did I just say that? I am curious, of course, but my first concern has now shifted to TNT.
Tack my name on the ol lurkers list. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I guess some of us stop posting so much when we thought our marriages were doing better...fair weather friends huh?<P>I don't post much anymore because I'm on the divorce trail and it makes me incredibly sad. I'll try to help though.<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.
Paul!!!!!!<P>MONDO HUGS!!!!!!!!<P>many good thoughts being sent your way....<P>Dylan
Hi Paul,<P>Long time no read!!<P>I'm sorry for your pain... but it is nice to see you.
<B>Paul</B><P>Can't find the proper icon to display my emotions right now.<P>I am so glad to see you post. I am so very sorry to hear your news.<P>We need you here thought regardless of how your journey is going. I remember you giving some mighty good advise more than once. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] There are so many newbies here who need a hand and your just perfect for that. Besides I have noticed that when one focuses on someone else's problems our own often get better. Even if we don't realize what is happening is for the best.<P>You and I both know that everything is in God's very capable hands.<P>So a huge <B>Welcome back Paul!</B> I am glad you are on board again. Naturally I will continue to pray for you and yours along with your happiness.<P><B>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Paul}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</B><P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 30, 2001).]
Boy oh boy my cyber ears have been burning like crazy....<P>Sorry for the delay, everyone.... I tore left foot ligaments and have to see an orthopedic surgeon on Wed - being a klutz is my life story. Maybe they this Dr. will fix me up and I won't have to fall anymore! I haven't been able to get to the room where my puter is - crutches... Please don't hate me!<P><BR>OK..... The card fairie is...<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<P>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>not: Samantha<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>not Sheba<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>But for a clue:<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>"She" has had 2 user names since I've been here - May 99.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>She hasn't posted anywhere on this thread....<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>She loves to get on the party bus..... <BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>We prayed for her and her family last summer, a crisis unrelated to infidelity<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>.<BR>Got any ideas?.....<BR>I'll be back!<BR>TNT
The suspense is KILLING me! Was it Suse?<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P><p>[This message has been edited by Lone Star (edited May 01, 2001).]
You expect me to read thru this whole dang thing and see who's posted... I'm too T-I-R-E-D...<P>...sigh...<P>My guess, and Lord knows if she posted here... I can't remember....<P>Bozo's Deb
Deb sees that Lone Star has posted and faints ! Wow, how are you doing guy ? How's the wife ? <P>And IT'S NOT ME I AM INNOCENT, INNOCENT I TELLS YA !
Tnt,<P>Glad to see you here safe and sound! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>NOW SPILL THE BEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Cripes already......this is getting to be too much!!!! <P>I'm turning into a junky!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited May 01, 2001).]
((((((((((((((((((TNT)))))))))))))))))))<P>you know, the next time you want to keep us in suspense, you really don't have to do anything to your ligaments!!!<P>honest<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>hop all is well...crutches can be a <I>drag</I>.... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>*<P>*<P>*<P>*<P>*<P>I have not had enough sleep to guess ...<P>but hey! I'll give it a shot........<P>WASSTUBBORN!!!<P><BR>
wait....wait.........<P><BR>it's vicki/pondvj isn't it??!?!?<P>ummm......<P>dang my scrambled brains!!!!!!!!!<P>
I guess Vicki a few pages back!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
see.......<P>great minds <B>do</B> think alike!!
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/01/01 01:27 PM
I am sorry you tore your ligaments, TNT. Thank you for checking in and letting us know you are okay.<P>I still say Dawnetta.....<P>Please do tell! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Raskal<BR>I'm still with you on this one....Dawnetta gets my vote.
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/01/01 01:58 PM
Do you think we will get bonus points for getting to 350 posts? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: lostva Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/01/01 02:12 PM
Hmmmmm....this is driving me nuts!<P>It's not Viki...I know that.<P>I'm thinkin'.......Gotta find a party thread.<P>Lori
<B>Yeah we heard from TNT!</B><P>Nice to know that although it is a pain in the bottom and I feel bad she is hurting it is not something really bad.<P>Okay, now for my guess it's <B>Dawnetta</B> still. I am probably wrong folks. Usually am, so if you are guessing <B>Dawnetta</B> fair warning.<P>I need to get back to work. <P>Much love to all,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited May 01, 2001).]
Posted By: alias Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/01/01 02:44 PM
now that you mention it, I seem to remember wondering if it was Dawnetta once, because one of her posts echoed something said in a cheer up card sent to me...<P>hmmmmmmmmmmmm<P>lizzie
TNT,<P>First, I am so sorry for your pain... I was very worried about you! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Now....Can I call you a poopie-woopie-poopie-head??????????? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Now spill the beans or I... um... what info do I have to hold against you?... I will... uh... tell everyone, um... uh... <P>...crap...<P>I have nothing.<P>Just tell us, okay??? Pretty please!!!! See, I'm smiling, and dancing as fast as I can [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
The Card Fairy STILL hasn't posted on this thread. So, it's not:<P>Deb's Bozo, (although she also loves a party bus....)<BR>or Wasstubborn.... although she had a crisis last summer...<P>Clues:<BR>The Card Fairy's crisis last summer was related to a HUGE embarassing government mistake... <P>Does OW "twinkie" ring a bell????? <BR>....<P>We have some very good guesses out there.... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P>TnT<P> <P>
Twinkie, eh?<P>Good grief, that's sooooooooo familiar...<P>I hate you, by the way. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Was it sweetpea???
twinkie.......twinkie.....<P>it's sooooooo....almost RIGHT there.........<P>AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH<P>TWINKIE......<P>I know this.....I should know this.....<P>ajd;hjoiolkagioklmpo-090#^%$%......argh.
Nope.... It wasn't Sweat Pea....<P>I've been hated before... haha!!!<BR>Oh well. <P>Clue:<P>The government embarassment resulted in a FIRE....<P>The word "evacuation" help?<BR>
<B>Okay for all of you...I am saying Dawnetta.!</B><P>Now I can't take credit for this link. A fellow MB who only lurks just gave it to me. Here goes...<P> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/008753.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/008753.html</A> <P>Thanks <B>K or is it B or is it K?</B> LOL [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Hugs all, I will be checking back in.<P><B>TNT</B> you really are a stinker! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited May 01, 2001).]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/02/01 12:42 AM
<B>IT'S DAWNETTA!!!</B><P>Last summer there was a fire in NM close to her and her family!!! AND the OW was the TWINKY!!!<P><BR>I am a <B>GENIUS!!!</B><P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/02/01 12:46 AM
Ok Sam,<P>I had found the link too!! <P>YIPPEE!!! Now we know!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Then I remembered the fire!! <P>Thank you Dawnetta!!<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Count me among the searchers of archives... <P>I found it too...<P>Yeah, thanks <B>Dawnetta</B> -- you're a sweetie pie--<P>...but that <B>TnT</B> lady... let's just say that she's a POOPIE HEAD!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
I didn't tell, did I?<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] TnT [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Good Detective work, Sam!
<B>To one and all again, my lurker friend the PI for MB has just sent me another link. It is for sure <I>DAWNETTA</I>! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] </B><P>here goes...<P> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/003288.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/003288.html</A> <P><B>Mitzi</B><P>I didn't find the link, it was <B>K or is it B or is it K?</B> LOL<P><B>TNT</B><P>You sitting back with your foot propped up playing with us like a cat does a mouse. Shame on you. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] LOL I love you lady and miss you too. Hey with this bum foot of yours maybe we'll be seeing you around a tad more huh?<P>Hugs to all,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited May 01, 2001).]
<B>TNT</B><P>You know honey I honestly don't remember if you told me or not. LOL I can't remember at all. Too funny. <P>The detective work goes to <B>K or is it B or is it K</B> not me. I was busy posting else where on this site when the clues were given.<P>You really are a raskal <B>TNT</B><P>Now for you <B>Dawnetta</B> aka <B>Butterfly</B> aka <B>Busty Butterfly</B> you are a wonderful and loving woman. Thank you so much for all the cheer and good feelings you have brought to this site. Not to mention the wonderful pictures on your two <B>MB photo sites!</B> People like you are a huge blessing to me and many others.<P><B>WE LOVE YOU DAWNETTA!</B><P>Now everyone three cheers for <B>Dawnetta</B>!<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] With God on our side we can't lose! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited May 01, 2001).]
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/02/01 01:18 AM
Ok, you guys!<P>I just posted a huge Thank you post to Dawnetta on the D/D board since she mostly posts and reads there.<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
* oops double post<p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited May 01, 2001).]
I guessed BUTTERFLY [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>See medic's thread....page 6 [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I guessed it <BR>I guessed it<BR>I guessed it<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: Raskal Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/02/01 01:58 AM
Thank you Dawnetta for being the Card Fairie. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Thank you TNT for leading us to her. Do we get bonus points for being over 350 posts now? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I hope you are doing okay.<P>Thank you all for this fun/great thread! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <BR>(I just love that smile!)
Oh my... <BR>This thread made me cry... You guys are too much!<P>One thing that I found a little odd .... no one mentioned that Fairie Dust (aka Fairie Droppings [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]) Are <B>CHOCOLATE!!!</B><P>Now... some acknowledgements.... Thanks to all who cared and remembered me, even though it's been almost 8 months since I posted regularly.<BR>And thanks to the followin (If I missed someone, I'm so sorry... I tired to write down all the posters since TnT said she would tell)...<BR>TnT, New Beginnings (also for starting this thread), Raskal, Mitzi, terri, Peppermint, Leilana, Almost Happy, LostVA, HGBrawner, Lilly, Heartache, Samantha (Blessed she truly is), Empty Shell, Jamie-lee, Tired Lady, Orchid, Hopefull1771, Sing (who didn't even know I was ever here), Patient Love, Sxhizzo, Ohmy-Marie, K, SKM, Katb, Free2BMe, Firestrom, OneDay, AZAllison, Medic283(AKA Zippy), Hurt but coping, heartache, Lor, BrownEyes, Paul Moyers, David 87, Soulloss, Loan Star (the very first person to ever post to me when I came here 2 years ago on April 26th), Wasstubborn (HI Wassie!), Alias, and anyone who I might have missed (I Love YOU too though!).<P>I have to say that everyone here has touched my life in one way or another... It gave me great pleasure to send cards to everyone, and to have everyone wonder who I was... Just remember....<B><A HREF="http://members.aol.com/mempenny14/eachlife.html" TARGET=_blank>Each Life Touches Another!</A></B> Thank you all for touching not only MY LIFE, But EVERYONE'S life who has come this way looking for support, encouragment, kindness, understanding, help, or just somewhere to sort out their thoughts.<P>And thank you all for allowing me to do something that gave me such great joy... Because what I received was returned Ten Fold bye being able to Give... they were all <B><A HREF="http://members.aol.com/mempenny14/heartgifts.html" TARGET=_blank>Heart Gifts</A></B><P>It has taken me a couple of hours to read this thread, and I have yet to read any others... I will read as much as I can... <P>I LOVE YOU ALL!<BR><B>HUGS & KISSES,<BR>TCF</B> <P>
OH, and before I forget....<BR><B>K..... D99?!?!?!?!?!?</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>H&K,<BR>TCF
Posted By: Lilly Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/02/01 07:26 AM
Dawnetta! I had a feeling. Anyways, thanks for doing that for us all. It was wonderfull of you!<P>Lilly
It is finished... <P>...and it has begun...<P>Best wishes to us all [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck
Butterfly never owned being the card farie....<P>
<B>You know WilliamJ</B> you're right, she or Dawnetta never admitted to it at all? Hmmm???? Suppose we are all wrong? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><B>The Card Fairie</B> says thanks for those of you who didn't crack under the pressure and she also puts <B>TNT</B> into (TNT) like TNT didn't really spill the beans either. <P>Oh my! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I am thinking this is going to be a forever mystery of <B>Marriage Builders!</B> Not like one that gets solved like Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny just by growing up. Looks like us <B>MB ers</B> may just have to be happy with not quite growing up on this level? Okay, I am up for it, something anything on this earth that stops the clock of aging is for me. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>I am going to believe <B>the Card Fairie</B> is just who she is, a magical Fairy who dust is chocolate. Mmmm chocolate. She can come visit me anytime she has the time. I just love her and am thankful for her coming into our lives.<P><B>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{the Card Fairie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</B><P>Maybe she needs elves like Santa to help her with the immense chore this became? Just a thought! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Love to one and all along with big hugs,<P>------------------<BR><B>Pray and praise the Lord, let Him handle it. All things are possible with God. Even healing our marriages. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by it's me Samantha (edited May 02, 2001).]
Yeah, I wrote a post just to stinkin' Bill... I can't believe he didn't leave me in my fantasy world believing that Butterfly was the one...<P>grrrr [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>You're right though, Samantha.... she's just the sparkly fairie with chocolate sprinkles... <P>ah, chocolate... that reminds me...<P>Where did I put that Reece's????
<B>Oh No!</B><P>I just had another thought. What if knowing who <B>the Card Fairie</B> is makes her not visit anymore like when you no longer believe that Santa is real?<P>What about if it's like <B><I>Tinker Bell</B> in Peter Pan</I>, whom almost dies until the audience starts chanting I do believe in Fairies, I do believe in Fairies? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] I know I could not take the demise of my beloved <B>Card Fairie</B> let alone feeling responsible. <P><B>Okay all, at once, everyone</B><P>"I do believe in Fairies, I do believe it Fairies, I do believe in Fairies." <B>Now we all have to clap too. Real hard, just in case, and repeat...I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES. I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES. WE DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES, WE DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! WE DO BELIEVE IN OUR CARD FAIRIE, WE DO BELIEVE I OUR CARD FAIRIE! Keep clapping everyone. This is important.</B> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Love you one and all as always.<P><BR>------------------<BR><B>Pray and praise the Lord, let Him handle it. All things are possible with God. Even healing our marriages. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by it's me Samantha (edited May 02, 2001).]
As a newcomer and not knowing what it was like "before", I'd like all of you know, especially NB, that coming here and listening has stopped me from giving up. As all of you know, hope is sometimes the only thing we have and at the very least, you've legitimized that it's not crazy to be hopeful and believe that there's still love lingering...
"THANK YOU CARD FAIRIE"<P>(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((<BR>(((((((((((( GROUP HUG )))))))))))))) <BR>))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) <BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] OK OK!!!!!!! Need some air!!!! <BR> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>AH [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><p>[This message has been edited by Almost Happy (edited May 03, 2001).]
Hi Peoples! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><B>AH</B>, Group hug? Cool!!!<P><B>Terrified</B>, I'm so glad you feel welcome here!!!<P><B>Samantha</B>, Our fairie is REAL. Yep!!!<P>
Posted By: Mitzi Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/04/01 04:34 PM
<B>Samantha</B><P>Sheryl is right! We are going to believe that Dawnetta is the Card Fairie! (If we don't, it's going to drive us nuts trying to find out who really is! LOL)<P>Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]
Posted By: terri Re: To the "Old-Timers" -- An Alarming Trend - 05/09/01 03:50 AM
I am bringing this back to the top. I think it is so incredibly important that the newcomers and 'recent'comers here on GQII understand that this is not an overnight sensation!<P>Marriages have been saved - affairs have ended - people have wound up happy together - BUT NOT OVERNIGHT!<P>Please read ALL of the articles available on this site - understand the concepts that Dr. Harley uses - understand infidelity... Get the books and read them. Read read read and then ask questions and discuss.<P>Most of all - have infinite patience.<P>There are loads of resources here - USE THEM! Please.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>
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