Resillient, Just learning, anyone? Need help.

Hi guys. I guess I need help, can you take a look at this thread and tell me what you think?Thanks,
TNThttp://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=31&t=005527

I would like to say leave, but I always find it hard to give up. (Just read my posts [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ). I suffered from depression during the 18 months prior to our separation. Lots of reasons. It killed my sex drive. Meds did the same, and I tried several. They get better everyday, and I have finally found one. You CANNOT make ANY decision while you are this depressed. Trust me. Your picture of how much of this is your fault and living with any guilt from your decision now will be impossible until you are thinking clearly. I PROMISE. GO SEE A DOCTOR NOW. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.There are counseling services out there, and some of them charge based on income, if your insurance is a problem. You go personally, try to Plan A for now, and reassess in a few weeks. At that time you will be better able to decide if you want your marriage or you want to leave. My .02.

Thank you isitpossible.Yup went to Dr. yesterday, so at least I am getting that help. One of the first questions out my husbands mouth was concern over the potential finances - because he is concerned about it being a pre-existing condition. (insurance wasn't effective until Jan. 1.)I am feeling like I shouldn't be making any major decisions right now, I just don't know how to deal with this. I sometimes wish someone can just put me out of my misery!Thank you for your reply, and I am glad you don't give up easily.TNT

Hi Tnt,I am sorry you are feeling so down in the dumps. It is not fair. You have been so supportive to so many here. I for one have benefitted by reading your posts. You know I watched a movie late last night, 'presumed innocent'. Have you seen it? It was about a DA whose law partner/lover was murdered. He was accused of the murder but it was not until the end that the real killer was discovered. The reason why I bring this up, is that this movie showed how the BS looked acted and felt. The W knew about the A. The WS hurt sooo bad and kept reflecting about his 'lover'. The W say this immediately and the blank look in her eyes were exactly what I felt. So many of those moments were real. Even the way the BS walked, talked and even when she put on something sexy to entice her H and he basically went limp! It was sooo obvious but sooo real. The reason why I am sharing this with you is that it made me think. When our (BS) needs are not being met, those WS better wonder where that might leave them. Again plan B is often easier to go to when the words and actions hurt. For me it does not take as much for me to put him out and he knows it. Your H is being disrespectful to you. You and your body knows not to take that sort of treatment any longer right? Hm.....what does that mean? Is it wrong to institute plan B when they are home and no A is going on? In some cases, I think yes. Main thing is that you need to strengthen your resolve and then set your boundaries again. JMHO.Hugz,
L.

Thank you, Orchid. I need to get stronger. I think I need to brace myself.This life sucks.TNT

bump for Resilient and Just Learning
and any more comments?

TnT,Honey, I responded on your post in "Recovery". Please go there and read. I'm sorry I took so long to respond. I really hope you're doing okay.Love you,
Jo