I found out a little over a month ago that my husband of 11 years had an affair, or a week-long sex relatioship with a co-worker, 20 years younger than him. We have decided to work on our marriage and re-build, if we can.
However when it comes to the sex, the last few times he has not been able to reach orgasim. One day he does, the next time he does not, the last 2 times he has not, I feel I am not making him happy, or cant meet his need. He tells me not to worry about it, that he is just getting old. He seems to enjoy the sex. I just feel bad when I can get off and he cant. Is this a normal process following an affair?
Is it me?
What should I do?
My husband is a wonderful lover and always makes sure I am satisfied.
What can I do?

has he had this difficulty in the past?? if not it may be guilt. if he is ok with it and seems happy--work on it. maybe change up what you are doing.<p>im sorry for this but cant resist-be happy you are satisfied EVERY time. good luck

Twice following my WH's A, we had this same experience. And he can't blame his on age. Actually I think it was because he was sick (the flu). It bothered me somewhat, but I chose not to place much attention on it as I was afraid it would make the situation worse. Sometimes it is hard to perform when you know you have pressure to do so. You can't NOT mention it at the time it happens, but I never mentioned it again after the fact. I let it drop even though I could have made an issue of it. I simply waited and encouraged him to wait an extra day or two in order to be sure he was definitely "wanting it" the next time we did "it." So far it has not been a problem again, and this fact in and of itself has resolved any insecure feelings I might have had because of it.