I have NOT given up yet – an update - Marriage Builders® Forums

Well, I’m still ALIVE and hanging in there, my friends. Just got back from spring break vacation with my kids (yes my wife included). We had a good time together as a family.For the first time since d-day 2 years and 2 months ago, my wife gave me a birthday card, a small cake, and a really good hug (two weeks ago). I don’t want to over analyze the birthday card but here is what it said, “Happy Birthday to a very special friend who’s always there for me in good times and bad times. You are a forgiving husband, a good father and a very special friend to me. May all your wishes come true.” And signed her name.So what do you think?Oh! One more thing that I forgot to mention, one night I went to give her a goodnight hug before I went to bed while she was listening to the music in her room. She got up and walked toward me for a hug but didn’t let go instead led me to a dance until the end of the music. She then gave me a kiss to my cheek and squeezed me tight one last time before let go. I walked back to my room that night wondering what exactly had happened.That’s where we are.Again thank you for listening.

Yep - it took a long time for the last ice age to recede.You are the most patient man here. I hope she truly believes what she wrote in the card.Now, what about that beer?Dave

OffOnOffOn, Patient seems to be the right word. It sounds to me like she is warming up to you. The need for contact is strong. Let her do most of the leading right now. I don't know about you but when my wife does something like that it washes away alot of the past and pushes me forward, what a rush.D

Good for you. [censored] and I used to dance in the kitchen. What a wonderful moment of intamacy. That extra squeeze sounds nice too.Elizabeth

Wow! Amazingly the three people that replied to my post were registered in Sep 2000. Any other Sep 2000 people? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Well, there are at least 195 more. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I did not get here until 3/01, but boy is it good to see that things are looking up for you. It is a great sign that your WW is taking the first steps at physical contact with you even though it may seem slow at times. You have been a very patient man these past two years and it seems to be paying off a little now. Keeps us updated!
Sinking

Wow how do you know when you first registered, thats pretty cool.
Ok update for anyone that remembers me. It all started june 2000. D-day was jan. 2001, with a lot more in between. Here we are today, with contact just about bi-monthly or so from what I can see. It looks like it has ended around the holidays she says November. Well she responds to e-mails of i luv u's, cards, everything is getting acknowledged now where before it went uanswered. I get an occassional kiss or luv u on the phone too all unsolicited. So maybe things are getting better even though us BS always want to know why and how. She's not there yet, still blames me for being miserable and not wanting a 3rd kids. (female) we have 2 boys. So at age 40 She tells me she's pregnant on easter day, and me I just roll with the punches and hope its a girl. Sure I could 2nd guess her motives we were always careful for the last 6 years but why now. And is it still all about her, but Im willing to let it roll and hope for the best. In time maybe she will all on her own recognise me for being me. But in the mean time all I can say is Hang in there, its all about hanging in there. take care will

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by OffOnOnOff:
Wow! Amazingly the three people that replied to my post were registered in Sep 2000. Any other Sep 2000 people? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <hr></blockquote>
I missed by one month!Now what was that Dave mentioned about a beer?
[img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

AH - eyeswideopen and I have been trying to get him out for a beer for months - even through the period when OOOO came and went several times and even through the time we (he?) briefly chaged his name to Jack. It was a real hoot when another poster asked if this made him Jack OffOnOnOff? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Maybe - just maybe - he's waiting until his W will join us.dave

OffOnOnOff,Let it ride ... just cherish the moment and wait and see. WS might comes out from fog for good but it was a small step. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I am glad that your W starts realizing what she has missing.

I have to agree with everyone else who said WOW! This is such a nice update! Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad to hear you had a nice family vacation and about the birthday card and what it said. A kiss on the cheek and a squeeze too! It must have made you feel so neat to be appreciated! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

OOOO,What progress. Remeber where you were a yr ago? Hoping you get all you want.singguess what I am not even nagging you this time

OOOO,Like WAT said, you are so patient, and I hope it pays off. A vacation together is nice. Things sound better ever so slightly as time goes on, and I hope it works out. I'll be very happy if you can report some day that you are together again as husband and wife, committed to each other and happy together.Take care.

OOOO,Wow good news and sending you a big smile [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . Small steps and a hug. This is a good sign. U are doing good. Keep chugging in the right direction. Take Care,
L.

OOOO,I feel like we are having a reunion of sorts on this thread. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I think that you should respond to her birthday message with this "Honey, I 've been thinking about your birthday message and (this is my wish) and I'd like it to come true [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] Very nice progress. How about some subtle romantic gestures from you? I'm talking nonsexual here. Just to keep the ball rolling.
Maybe another camping trip and forget to bring her blanket. he he he