Is there anyone out there who had a WS who moved in with OW and completely shut out their spouse after they left? And I mean NO CONTACT at all?<p>Today's a bad day. Usually I'm ok - I've learned to live with this for the past 7 months...H left out of the blue in Oct. and moved right in w/ OW. Although he was TEXTBOOK in the beginning (love you, not in love with you, want my independence, freedom, there is no other woman, blah blah), comparing myself to others out there, he seems unique in that he COMPLETELY BLEW ME OFF after he left. <p>I guess I keep holding hope because I've read so much about how affairs are based on fantasy, how they will eventually fall apart, and I'm stuck on this 6 month timeline thing...am I being too impatient? I see absolutely NO SIGNS of him coming out of the fog!<p>I broke down today and called him after no contact for the past 2 months. He sounded downright annoyed to hear from me (I called him on a new cell # that he didn't know I had - demanded to know how I got his new #). Gack! I just brushed him off and remained upbeat - needed to ask some questions about our boat.<p>I guess I just keep hoping that I'll hear some remorse, kindness or love in his voice. Nope. Ice cold. My counselor looked at me the other day and said "HE AIN'T COMING BACK!". Yikes!<p>I have a few shreds I hang onto:
1. He keeps saying he wants a divorce, but has done nothing about it
2. Everyone says he looks downright horrible (so life can't be too grand w/ OW)
3. I fundamentally believe he still loves me - we had a great 11 years together.<p>Why does my H have to be part of the small percentage that stays w/ OW and remains fogged in?<p>Thanks for listening.

I sure don't know why, but at least now you know any kind of pursuit does not work, so don't do it. Start enjoying life. If he files, he files. Just work on improving your life as it is. Be ready to be your best self if HE initiates contact, but stick to the rule to stop doing what doesn't work and do more of what does. Right now nothing is working, so just work on you and enjoy you.

Thanks Conqueror: needed some words of encouragement. I'm happy to say that 90% of the time I'm doing just that - working on myself, living life pretty fully. Every once in a while though, I've got these heavy days that just weigh me down when it all seems so hopeless.<p>Fortunately, the good days outnumber the bad.