Getting "her" Money & divorce is all WW talks about. - 06/22/02 04:23 PM
Thanks to all who have given their 2 cents on other posts I have written and for following my continuing story on Plan A/B at:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=30&t=001238&p=4 <p>I would appreciate any comments on the following:<p>My WW is currently living at her parents and will be getting her own apartment in July or August. <p>She rarely wants to talk to me unless it is about our bank account or her wanting her money ASAP since we are getting a divorce.<p>She said I will be hearing from a "mediator" next week and as of July she will no longer have her checks deposited into our joint account to pay the mortgage, loans, bills etc.<p>(Lately our checking account has been in the negative. She and I know it is not because of me. I only pay the bills and haven't been spending on anything else besides some groceries. She claims she wants the money in her own account so she can see where it is going. She admitted that she has spent "a little" more than usual but that OM buys everything for her in her new relationship.)<p>She is adamantly determined to get her "thousands" out of our home's equity, and have me pay her for our furniture that she doesn't want, etc. She "apologized" for "screwing me over" in our marriage and that she now has to "screw me over" financially. <p>She was extremely angry the whole conversation because supposedly I am "controlling" her and keeping these (financial) "ties" to her by continuing to put things off. She has repeatedly stated that her goal is to cut all ties with me ASAP. <p>I have asked her for more time to figure out things etc. She just gets angry and told me there is no more time and she is not contributing her money to pay for the mortgage, bills or starting next month. And soon after, she said I will need to sell the house or refinance to give her "her share" of the equity asap.<p>She intends to come over next week and go over the numbers etc, and talk about which part of each credit card's debt belongs to who, etc. <p>I hope to talk to Steve again for some advice on how to handle this "money" situation. I'm thinking that my Plan A is coming to an end soon and will probably go to Plan B when she moves into her apartment. I want to show her that I am giving her "her space" and am not trying to keep any money or anything that is not mine. I just want to do the right thing. <p>I will go to Plan B to save the remaining love I have for her but believe that she will see it as me being more controlling because then "the lawyers" will have to do the communication regarding all the money. <p>1. How should I handle future conversations with her about "her money", figuring out who owns/owe what, etc? <p>2. And if/when I go to Plan B, how do I not have any contact with her if I'm in the house and she comes over to get things or to talk (financial papers, furniture etc)?<p>
Thanks for listening,
-Heartbroken and hoping<p>-------------------------------------------------
2/22/02 WW out w/OM discussing marital problems
until 3AM
3/02 WW wants separation, admits "feelings"
for OM. Loves me but not "in love" with me.
3/02-4/02 WW moves to parents but visits me.
4/02-5/02 Plan A started. WW moves back in, but
rarely is home. Reveals feelings to OM. PA
starts.
5/9/02 Discover WW & OM together at beach.
5/12/02 - 6/02 WW moves back into parents. Some
visits and angry calls for her stuff and "her
money." She calls me, I don't call her.
6/13/02 WW visits, cries, kisses me, misses me,
says she loves me. Feels guilty for cheating
on OM with me. (?)
6/14/02 - today
Angry phone calls continue with intensity
about money, divorce, getting equity from
home, not paying bills, etc. Plans for her
own apartment and a mediator to talk to me
are solidifing.
Thanks for listening,
-Heartbroken and hoping<p>-------------------------------------------------
2/22/02 WW out w/OM discussing marital problems
until 3AM
3/02 WW wants separation, admits "feelings"
for OM. Loves me but not "in love" with me.
3/02-4/02 WW moves to parents but visits me.
4/02-5/02 Plan A started. WW moves back in, but
rarely is home. Reveals feelings to OM. PA
starts.
5/9/02 Discover WW & OM together at beach.
5/12/02 - 6/02 WW moves back into parents. Some
visits and angry calls for her stuff and "her
money." She calls me, I don't call her.
6/13/02 WW visits, cries, kisses me, misses me,
says she loves me. Feels guilty for cheating
on OM with me. (?)
6/14/02 - today
Angry phone calls continue with intensity
about money, divorce, getting equity from
home, not paying bills, etc. Plans for her
own apartment and a mediator to talk to me
are solidifing.