Is it worth trying to save - 10/22/06 08:03 AM
First I have to say, I found out about my WS A just a few hours ago. She admitted it after being able to address a note I accidently found in her purse, telling someone else, about the fact she just wants out of the M. With tears in her eyes and sobbing, she confirmed what I already strongly suspected. Wasn't really a shock to me, I even suspected when the last time had happened, when she got home a bit too late after a get together.
After talking about it all a few hours, I got her to agree to talk to a counselor about getting some outside help, maybe trying to save it. Not really interested in it, she agreed anyway. I got the just don't love you anymore speech, and we then talked about trying to seperate like adults, hopefully seeking moderation would help avoid a lot of troubles. I fear that perhaps almost forcing her to seek counseling will not be successful, since after all, she just wants out. (her own words)
Together we have 2 boys, 5 and 2. If she is almost set on seperating, would it be acutlaly worth my while to try convincing her to attempt saving it? Even for the kids sake, she seems like divorce would be a better option.
The OM, I am not sure who he is. Through tears and sobbing, I found out that ever since that night 2 weeks ago, hasn't had anything to do with her. I believe her, in that way a spouse can read another one, I believe her.
My night is getting worse for me. I wonder now if maybe I had learned to be a better lover, better husband, she wouldn't have strayed. Concerned about how much of this is my fault. After 12 years, it ends like this, being told it just fell apart, and oops, we had sex, didn't really mean for it to happen. Nice guys seem to finsih last, right?
I ask this though, when is a M not worth saving? I believe her sincerity when she says she wants to leave in peace, like adults, and work through mediation,
After talking about it all a few hours, I got her to agree to talk to a counselor about getting some outside help, maybe trying to save it. Not really interested in it, she agreed anyway. I got the just don't love you anymore speech, and we then talked about trying to seperate like adults, hopefully seeking moderation would help avoid a lot of troubles. I fear that perhaps almost forcing her to seek counseling will not be successful, since after all, she just wants out. (her own words)
Together we have 2 boys, 5 and 2. If she is almost set on seperating, would it be acutlaly worth my while to try convincing her to attempt saving it? Even for the kids sake, she seems like divorce would be a better option.
The OM, I am not sure who he is. Through tears and sobbing, I found out that ever since that night 2 weeks ago, hasn't had anything to do with her. I believe her, in that way a spouse can read another one, I believe her.
My night is getting worse for me. I wonder now if maybe I had learned to be a better lover, better husband, she wouldn't have strayed. Concerned about how much of this is my fault. After 12 years, it ends like this, being told it just fell apart, and oops, we had sex, didn't really mean for it to happen. Nice guys seem to finsih last, right?
I ask this though, when is a M not worth saving? I believe her sincerity when she says she wants to leave in peace, like adults, and work through mediation,