My spouse and I have been married for 8 yrs and he has been having an affair with a woman on his job for the last 5 yrs. She is married and separated herself, has a baby with a man in prison, and apparently has little income, as she depends on my hubby and other males on the job to drive her back and forth to work. My hubby started to develop feelings for this woman, and since discovery of how they've been 'close' for so long, I not only confronted him, but called her as well. She got really nasty with me and says that if I can keep him happy my hubby wouldn't need a friend.

I quickly reminded her she had 2 men of her own she couldn't keep in check, so don't define what happens with me and my hubby. I think it shocked her to know that I knew so much about her situation and how very little she knew of mine, as according to her, my hubby says I'm a ******. She claimed to be really upset with what I told her, and hubby says she called to tell him she cursed me out. He claims they haven't talked about it since, yet he drives her to work everyday(hmm) Now hubby says he is confused and now wants to do counseling as he says he needs to deal with one situation at a time. I think he will purposely 'tank' counseling to be with this other person. I'm just not sure where he is at right now.

I have no idea where my head is at, as I have ups and downs with bouts of depression. On top of that, I'm in counseling for myself for the last 2 months(since the breakup)for this and other personal issues that I believe may have contributed to the breakup.(rape)

I just would like to hear what I can do at this point, will listen to any advice, what direction I should take, anything will be appreciated.

P.S. Hubby says they never had sex, just friends as they cannot be together until either of their home situations are resolved. What do any of you think? HELP!

bumping my own post, begging for some help, please:(

Binky,

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Please read everything on this site. You may want to re-post on General Questions II as it has more traffic on it. Also, weekends are slow.

You may want to fill information in your signature line, like: how old you and your spouse are, how many kids...their ages and genders, your Dday (discovery day).

Yes, I would agree that moving this to GQ would be your best bet.
I will give this a go then. First of all, I would not believe your H for one minute that they haven't had sex. Her responses to you would make NO sense if they hadn't.

Your H needs to end ALL contact with this woman which will mean he needs to find another job immediately. If he insists that there is no sex... ask him if he would be willing to sign a post nuptual agreement that specifies that all assets are forfeited in the event of infidelity. I think you already know the answer to that one.

Honesty and NC are where this needs to start and he is giving you neither.

Move this to GQ and you will get more advice.

MEDC