Marriage Builders®
Posted By: bigloser i blew it.....AGAIN - 06/06/07 05:42 PM
I'm deeply ashamed of my behavior, my wife caught me (i'm glad she did). it was mostly email, and one girl i exchanged info with, which may of lead to something physical.
I cant explain my actions, my wife thinks she has done something to drive me to this behavior, she has done nothing but bend over backwards and be a good loving wife to me. I was at a loss for an answer, then i met a councelor (social worker) through my job.
I was hardly in her office for a minute before i had cried like i never had before. after her consultation she determined that i have an addiction problem. She will be refering me to a specialist to help me and my family get through this.
I think my wife is having her doubts (who can blame her)
but i am going to see this through weather she stands by or not. i cant go on like this, i hate who i have become.
I used to be a guy everyone can turn to and respect, now i'm no better or maybe even worse then my "locked up" ex brother in law. I can no longer look any of my loved ones in the eye, its a terrible feeling.
I know i have a long road ahead and i'm anxious to drive
down it.I need to regain my dignity and self respect and
conquer my demons,my family is owed that much.
I dont know what my future holds, but in the end i hope to at least be a respectable person again. I cant live like this. I'm going to get the counceling i need and hopefully have my family respect me again some day. Its all i have to live for!!!

wish me luck.......
Posted By: LovingAnyway Re: i blew it.....AGAIN - 06/06/07 06:21 PM
BL,

There are many here who have faced themselves.

"I cant explain my actions," this is the key to changing yourself. Knowing your self so you can explain your choices.

So you can respect yourself again.

You can do this.

LA
Posted By: bigloser Re: i blew it.....AGAIN - 06/06/07 06:25 PM
Thank you LA

I have to see this through, there is nothing left for me if i dont.

BL
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