1 week after D-Day - 07/13/07 08:38 PM
WH and I have been together for 10 years, married for 8 1/2 years. He has DS-11 from previous R, I have DD-13 from previous R, we have DD-7 and DS 3. The first 2 years of our marriage was great. The next few rocky. It got a little better but not great. The last 2 years have been okay at best. We co-exist, but not happily.
Last summer he started taking 'trips' for work about once a month. He had weekends where he would stay out til 4 or 5 a.m. I asked if he was cheating, he said no. New Years Eve, he said he was staying in. He abruptly decided to leave out. He came home at 7 a.m. At this point, I am sure he is unfaithful. We hadn't had sex since September, along with him staying out til all hours and all these work trips. Times he'd be sitting out in the garage, talking on the phone. Times where he'd be on the phone but hang up when I came in. Times when oldest DD would say he spends hours on the phone when I'm not home.
I started to follow him after work, some weekends. I eavesdropped on phone conversations. His cell phone bill does not come to the house and he keeps it locked. I found nothing. But I knew.
Last week he left his cell phone at home, and it was unlocked. I found text messages to an OW. Full of I love you's and I miss you's and I can't wait to be with you. Texts from her that she loves him and misses him. I called her, heard her voice, hung up. Began calling her from his phone, but she wouldn't answer. I assume he told her it was me calling. I went to confront him at work. He took his phone back. Told me we'd talk later. I proceeded to Expose the A. I went to his parents, my parents, called our friends, everyone. His mother was upset that I was telling everyone. His friends claimed to know nothing.
This is a woman he's known for years. I never liked the friendship. I met her once. He never brought her around again. He told me he loves her. That he is in love with her. That he does not want to leave her. That our problems are not about her but are about what's broken between us. That we are no good for each other. That he has been unhappy with our marriage for 2 years. That he is only here for the children. That he didn't mean for me to see those messages and he is sorry for my hurt but he loves this woman.
We've talked and talked. He will not tell me that he won't see her again. He is pushing for separation. To get our debt paid off and sell the house so we can split and live our lives.
Is there anything left for us?
Last summer he started taking 'trips' for work about once a month. He had weekends where he would stay out til 4 or 5 a.m. I asked if he was cheating, he said no. New Years Eve, he said he was staying in. He abruptly decided to leave out. He came home at 7 a.m. At this point, I am sure he is unfaithful. We hadn't had sex since September, along with him staying out til all hours and all these work trips. Times he'd be sitting out in the garage, talking on the phone. Times where he'd be on the phone but hang up when I came in. Times when oldest DD would say he spends hours on the phone when I'm not home.
I started to follow him after work, some weekends. I eavesdropped on phone conversations. His cell phone bill does not come to the house and he keeps it locked. I found nothing. But I knew.
Last week he left his cell phone at home, and it was unlocked. I found text messages to an OW. Full of I love you's and I miss you's and I can't wait to be with you. Texts from her that she loves him and misses him. I called her, heard her voice, hung up. Began calling her from his phone, but she wouldn't answer. I assume he told her it was me calling. I went to confront him at work. He took his phone back. Told me we'd talk later. I proceeded to Expose the A. I went to his parents, my parents, called our friends, everyone. His mother was upset that I was telling everyone. His friends claimed to know nothing.
This is a woman he's known for years. I never liked the friendship. I met her once. He never brought her around again. He told me he loves her. That he is in love with her. That he does not want to leave her. That our problems are not about her but are about what's broken between us. That we are no good for each other. That he has been unhappy with our marriage for 2 years. That he is only here for the children. That he didn't mean for me to see those messages and he is sorry for my hurt but he loves this woman.
We've talked and talked. He will not tell me that he won't see her again. He is pushing for separation. To get our debt paid off and sell the house so we can split and live our lives.
Is there anything left for us?