D-Day was just over a week ago.

I was/am devastated. We had marital problems, separated briefly, WH started the affair at that time. We reconciled...but the affair didn't end until a relative of the OW told me of the situation.

I can forgive...I'm not even that angry at this point. I know where I need to be, but this hurt, sadness and physical pain just won't go away.

How do I get over the pain? What should I expect of myself and my WH?

Your husband will need to be an open book and give you his passwords and access to his computer and phone.

The pain will last about 2 years. But it won't be as awful as it is now. It will get less and less over time. So you have THAT to contend with, plus the original problems that led to the separation in the first place.

What was going on?

Two years... that really sucks. I've got 21 more months to go.

Joy...

Getting access to email is rather useless, as he has an account at work that I know he uses quite extensively. And our cell phone bills don't list phone #s being called, just minutes used, so I don't think that will help me either.

As for what was going on...that would fill the pages of a book. Until now, I thought that chapter of our lives was all behind us. Until that phone call that turned my world upside down again...

Well, then he needs to explain why he thought it would be okay for him to have an affair.

You can start looking at the things he complained about BEFORE the affair and try to make some changes.

Thanks. Knowing I'm in for close to 24 more months of feeling bad isn't great to know...but I guess is the truth of the matter. I will seek medical attention so I don't slip too low.

Personally, I don't think i'd put a timeline on it. How long you "feel bad" is dependant on too many factors. For some, they find peace after a year, some never find it.

I know two people who have had WH's (both now divorced). One of them, a year later forgave her XH and although hasn't forgotten what he did, has moved on with her life and is dating a wonderful man. The other has remarried, but her anger toward her XWH still shows and you can tell it still affects her to some degree (it's been 15 years!).

Don't sit around waiting for some "2 year timeline" to pass and think that it will all be over at the stroke of midnight. You need to work on these feelings and deal with them. (((HUGS)))

[/quote]
And our cell phone bills don't list phone #s being called, just minutes used, so I don't think that will help me either. [/quote]

Call the cell phone company and ask if you can get detailed billings. Switching cell phones to not have detailed billing is a common thing for cheaters to do.

It's worth a phone call!

Good luck!

Call the cell phone company and ask if you can get detailed billings. Switching cell phones to not have detailed billing is a common thing for cheaters to do.

It's worth a phone call!

Good luck! [/quote]

Well, I would not place that kind of "behind the back" stuff on WH. Our bills have never listed numbers, long before this occurred. My personal cell, which I signed up for myself, doesn't list numbers, either. Maybe you have to request that if you want it.

I will say that I'm hoping the "2 years" is a longer period of time than I have ahead of me. Less than 2 weeks in, though...I'm still kind of in shock.