ok lets start here . My other half has to travel on occasion for business and the last trip that he took he met a lady that worked at the restraunt he ate at . He gave her his card and then she called him after he was home. They spent hours on the phone together and the next thing I knew he booked a airline ticket back there and they spent 3 days together on his birthday... But he says they never had sex because he was not ready to but he could have if he wanted to . ya right !!!! Our relationship has been in trouble for sometime now but when he had left the first time I really thought that we were going in the right direction . I feel so stupid and blind . Now that he is back he thinks we need to go to counseling . Why should I commit to this ?? So the next time someone turns his eye he takes off again and leaves me at home to cry knowing that I will always take him back and believe his lies . I am so confused . Today I checked his shaving bag that I know he keeps condoms in and there were 3 missing . So if he didnt have sex with her then where did they go because the same number has been in there for over a year now . Am I just stupid ?? I love him so much that I cant seem to be able to just kick his butt out of my life but I am scared to death that he will continue to hurt me because he knows that I am alweays there no matter what . Someone help me decide what to do . This is eating me alive and I cant eat , sleep or work . All I think about is them together . Someone please give me some advice .
hello and welcome someone_help
i'm sorry we have to meet here
you're in the right place but first please read Longhorn's thread for betrayed spouses above
it will surely help
you can survive all of this and there are lots of men and women here who will help you
lots of hugs
denise
Thank you and I did read it and yes it has helped a little. Not to much feels better right now . I have my ups and my downs and feel like I am on a runaway train to nowhere. I have never been in love with anyone before him and not sure I know how to live without him. Everyone keeps telling me to leave him but I dont have the strength to do so even though I know that he cannot change and refuses to admit that he was wrong . I still feel like even if we get thru this time when is it going to happen again ???? I am so upset I can not even look at him or imagine being touched by him at this point because all I see is him touching her and it makes me feel ill. Alot of things in our relationship were bad but the one thing that we had that was always great was our sex life and now I dont feel like that will ever be the same again. My mind is so twisted and so ate up with this that I just feel like giving up . I am 36 years old and we have a 4 year old daughter together and I have a 16 year old son from a previous mariage. Do I try and stick it out for her or do I walk away ?? I stayed married for 13 years the first time for my son but that was not the right reasons. Argh!! I am so messed up right now I am glad that I found this place , I can say how I feel and am not condemed for feeling the way I do and knowing that others feel some of the same things I do helps me to know that I am not going insane , like I sometimes wonder if I am.
if you have read Longhorn's thread above especially the 1st 3 post
then have you
1. confronted your H?
2. read Surviving an Affair?
3. exposed the affair?
I also recommend you read the thread about Plan A and Plan B
you are not insane
and what you are feeling is normal considering that you had just discovered the affair
hugs --- now do some more reading hon
denise