AM I really this Dumb? My Husbands lies!! - 09/13/08 06:41 AM
SO here I am. I have been married for 20 years to the same man this June. I have been with this same man since I was 14 and he was 17. We are each other firsts and Onlys..[I thought]
My husband has had a few times where I have caught him flirting with my friends and Once when we had been married for 7 years actually talked to one of my friends and "talked" about getting together to have some fun. She outed him and we almost divorced over that incident. He worked very hard for forgiveness after that and we went on to have another child together making it 3 wonderful kids. WE had a wonderful marriage I thought, and had sex 2 to 3 times a week.. never missing really ever. Did mostly everything together, called several times a day.
We started a relationship with a couple who soon became our best friends. We were always together! Soon I notice that my best friend is on a diet and so is my husband. The more he lost weight the more I noticed that he was putting more time into himself and how he looked. I had my suspicions and asked point blank if he was having feeling for my BF. Can I say that the best friend and her Husband are the pastor and pastors wife of our church? So he tells me NO I am not having feelings.. shes not my type,, I don't even like her really.. blah . I get to the point where I can't stand it and keep turning down going out with them anymore really. I broke the friendship down.
Since I worked with my BF my husband was still seeing her and I had this feeling continue.I was on my husband all the time who said it was all in my head.
Some months later she made a comment to him and He WENT nuts on her. He was very angry over this silly situation and I could not understand it, at all. I think it was just some kind of crush that went no where, and thanked God it was done.. i was crushed but he would not admit to anything!!
About a year goes by and here I find myself starting to get close to my BF again. She and her Husband seem like they are in love.She talked often about him and how they were doing so great. We start being friends with them again but this time feel like there is nothing there with her and my Husband. They did talk, joke together but felt OK about it. I get a call about 4 months after our friendship started again and she tells us they are expecting. I was so happy for them and My husband just seemed in shock. He could not believe she would get pregnant again with all her kids.. really said nothing other than that.
Her whole pregnancy we got closer and closer with them. Could not wait to see the baby.Just weeks before the birth of the baby I caught my husband was very much involved at looking at porn and flirting with women behind my back,, I was devastated and kicked him out ..Upon his return he admitted so many things about thinking what it would be like to be with another woman since I was his only one..looking at women.. that he was indeed guilty of having feelings those years ago for my BF but had not for Years.He had such guilt about it al.. it was only about a month long. She felt the same but nothing ever happened. I confront best friend and she said she never felt anything for my husband. I felt like she was lying.
My husband came clean with so much I believed him when he said nothing happened.I dealt with this very hard time and was working it out with husband. We went to the birth and was called "aunt and Uncle" from the start.
Just feel in love with the baby and had him all the time. Husband loved baby and held him often.He would often say Let's go get the baby..I get a call from BF and she said Why does John [my h] not pick up his cell anymore? I was thinking when have you called him before? I ask husband and he says "she's losing it".SO I am still not over all the things I found out and went to do some searching.Now in all this time, since finding my husband secrets, we are going to counseling.. he is "heartbroken" over the things he did and just the fact that he started to have feeling for this woman. It was years before and it seemed to break him up now. I really believed him. We were close to this couple and loved their baby..I forgave them both. So as I am searching INTERNET cell phone bills on the couch next to my husband I search his cell phone records. all the recent months were clean.. at first and there was her number! OMG one call to her then a few minutes later to me. 40 min call her..3 min here.. back and forth. I went back and looked at this had been happing since we "rekindled" our friendship.. which means before she was pregnant! I went nuts to say the least. HE denied the calls! He said there was a mix up cause he was NEVER called her once!He had no reason and that he would not do that to me. I really just was so overwhelmed I could not see strait. I called the phone company and um, no nothing wrong with a mix up.. Of course not. My husband is just going nuts that the calls are not his..over and over.following day I am with him at home and guess who calls? Her! I answer and she says ?"there you are,, I thought you would be with him"I asked why did she not call my phone? she said she did but no answer.LIE. He said I don't know why she called me.have you told her what is going on? Maybe she is making you jelious? OK! sure..
So I send her a text message next day on his phone and said U there?
she sent back just the letter "A"
I sent back A?
and then nothing.. now I think it was some code he would have known.
I am starting to wonder now... Is the baby MY HUSBANDS??? How do I find out? How do I find out if he is doing something??? I need help. My world is coming to an end. I cannot tell you what this is doing to me. My husband just cries and cries saying he would never do this to me and the kids.. He will take a lie d. test to prove it.
what is my next step? I have to know what to do!!!
My husband has had a few times where I have caught him flirting with my friends and Once when we had been married for 7 years actually talked to one of my friends and "talked" about getting together to have some fun. She outed him and we almost divorced over that incident. He worked very hard for forgiveness after that and we went on to have another child together making it 3 wonderful kids. WE had a wonderful marriage I thought, and had sex 2 to 3 times a week.. never missing really ever. Did mostly everything together, called several times a day.
We started a relationship with a couple who soon became our best friends. We were always together! Soon I notice that my best friend is on a diet and so is my husband. The more he lost weight the more I noticed that he was putting more time into himself and how he looked. I had my suspicions and asked point blank if he was having feeling for my BF. Can I say that the best friend and her Husband are the pastor and pastors wife of our church? So he tells me NO I am not having feelings.. shes not my type,, I don't even like her really.. blah . I get to the point where I can't stand it and keep turning down going out with them anymore really. I broke the friendship down.
Since I worked with my BF my husband was still seeing her and I had this feeling continue.I was on my husband all the time who said it was all in my head.
Some months later she made a comment to him and He WENT nuts on her. He was very angry over this silly situation and I could not understand it, at all. I think it was just some kind of crush that went no where, and thanked God it was done.. i was crushed but he would not admit to anything!!
About a year goes by and here I find myself starting to get close to my BF again. She and her Husband seem like they are in love.She talked often about him and how they were doing so great. We start being friends with them again but this time feel like there is nothing there with her and my Husband. They did talk, joke together but felt OK about it. I get a call about 4 months after our friendship started again and she tells us they are expecting. I was so happy for them and My husband just seemed in shock. He could not believe she would get pregnant again with all her kids.. really said nothing other than that.
Her whole pregnancy we got closer and closer with them. Could not wait to see the baby.Just weeks before the birth of the baby I caught my husband was very much involved at looking at porn and flirting with women behind my back,, I was devastated and kicked him out ..Upon his return he admitted so many things about thinking what it would be like to be with another woman since I was his only one..looking at women.. that he was indeed guilty of having feelings those years ago for my BF but had not for Years.He had such guilt about it al.. it was only about a month long. She felt the same but nothing ever happened. I confront best friend and she said she never felt anything for my husband. I felt like she was lying.
My husband came clean with so much I believed him when he said nothing happened.I dealt with this very hard time and was working it out with husband. We went to the birth and was called "aunt and Uncle" from the start.
Just feel in love with the baby and had him all the time. Husband loved baby and held him often.He would often say Let's go get the baby..I get a call from BF and she said Why does John [my h] not pick up his cell anymore? I was thinking when have you called him before? I ask husband and he says "she's losing it".SO I am still not over all the things I found out and went to do some searching.Now in all this time, since finding my husband secrets, we are going to counseling.. he is "heartbroken" over the things he did and just the fact that he started to have feeling for this woman. It was years before and it seemed to break him up now. I really believed him. We were close to this couple and loved their baby..I forgave them both. So as I am searching INTERNET cell phone bills on the couch next to my husband I search his cell phone records. all the recent months were clean.. at first and there was her number! OMG one call to her then a few minutes later to me. 40 min call her..3 min here.. back and forth. I went back and looked at this had been happing since we "rekindled" our friendship.. which means before she was pregnant! I went nuts to say the least. HE denied the calls! He said there was a mix up cause he was NEVER called her once!He had no reason and that he would not do that to me. I really just was so overwhelmed I could not see strait. I called the phone company and um, no nothing wrong with a mix up.. Of course not. My husband is just going nuts that the calls are not his..over and over.following day I am with him at home and guess who calls? Her! I answer and she says ?"there you are,, I thought you would be with him"I asked why did she not call my phone? she said she did but no answer.LIE. He said I don't know why she called me.have you told her what is going on? Maybe she is making you jelious? OK! sure..
So I send her a text message next day on his phone and said U there?
she sent back just the letter "A"
I sent back A?
and then nothing.. now I think it was some code he would have known.
I am starting to wonder now... Is the baby MY HUSBANDS??? How do I find out? How do I find out if he is doing something??? I need help. My world is coming to an end. I cannot tell you what this is doing to me. My husband just cries and cries saying he would never do this to me and the kids.. He will take a lie d. test to prove it.
what is my next step? I have to know what to do!!!