OMG! Hurray... got logged in.....my story - 05/12/09 06:55 PM
8 years ago, I knew my marriage was evaporating. I had just had our third child and my hubby stopped wanting to give me affection or have sex with me.
He has many problems and I hoped those problems were the cause if there had to be one.
Shortly after I started reading this site and my H told me about a co worker he was 'walking' with. I told him that it was asking for trouble and yet.....with time....I discovered they were in at least an EA.
I believed the affair to have ended since there was no noticable evidence of it (he hid it so stinking well).
I stopped posting here during a site upgrade which made it difficult to log in. I kept reading posts and studying the site over the years though.
Guess what? A couple days ago...I found evidence that the affair was still happening after 8 years and it was physical.
H and his OW have been doing things together (dates, sex, watching tv at her apartment) all these years. She is from India and they are no longer coworkers but still lovers.
She has bided her time to get him to leave me and he tells her that he is waiting for our youngest to be 18 (ten years from now).
The marriage builder student in me is ready to fight for this family. Fight for this marriage to transcend this very crappy few years and blossom.
He knows I know much of it. He is protective of his lover but has not left. I am trying to not love bust but to instead start with the carrot and stick of plan A.
I have exposed the affair to my family, his sisters and closest cousin, his best friend and a one time best friend who worked with H and OW in the past. My parents, brother and two oldest children know.I have told them all that the affair has gone on for 8 years, I love my H. I hope that my marriage is victorious.
It is very tempting to dump the rat but I can always resort to that. I am still in love with him or who I thought him once to be.
Last weekend, I invited him on a family outing to hike, have lunch at a restaurant and to watch Yes Man with 18 year old and me. It was a nice day.
Last night, he told me he was at a bar to get a bit plastered and listen to music and I drove there (to see if he was really there) and he was and I stayed to listen to music with him.
His most important needs I have not met are for
conversation
recreational companionship (music is his greatest love)
I don't meet his sexual need because he has his OW do that. He will not have sex with me at all. I thought he was depressed and had ED the past 8 years. I now know he just can't have sex with two women at once. Guess he has scrupples?!
I am hoping to lure him back to our relationship and be his sexual partner again.
There is much more but I am so grateful to have figured out how to log in and will leave it at this for now.
Phew
He has many problems and I hoped those problems were the cause if there had to be one.
Shortly after I started reading this site and my H told me about a co worker he was 'walking' with. I told him that it was asking for trouble and yet.....with time....I discovered they were in at least an EA.
I believed the affair to have ended since there was no noticable evidence of it (he hid it so stinking well).
I stopped posting here during a site upgrade which made it difficult to log in. I kept reading posts and studying the site over the years though.
Guess what? A couple days ago...I found evidence that the affair was still happening after 8 years and it was physical.
H and his OW have been doing things together (dates, sex, watching tv at her apartment) all these years. She is from India and they are no longer coworkers but still lovers.
She has bided her time to get him to leave me and he tells her that he is waiting for our youngest to be 18 (ten years from now).
The marriage builder student in me is ready to fight for this family. Fight for this marriage to transcend this very crappy few years and blossom.
He knows I know much of it. He is protective of his lover but has not left. I am trying to not love bust but to instead start with the carrot and stick of plan A.
I have exposed the affair to my family, his sisters and closest cousin, his best friend and a one time best friend who worked with H and OW in the past. My parents, brother and two oldest children know.I have told them all that the affair has gone on for 8 years, I love my H. I hope that my marriage is victorious.
It is very tempting to dump the rat but I can always resort to that. I am still in love with him or who I thought him once to be.
Last weekend, I invited him on a family outing to hike, have lunch at a restaurant and to watch Yes Man with 18 year old and me. It was a nice day.
Last night, he told me he was at a bar to get a bit plastered and listen to music and I drove there (to see if he was really there) and he was and I stayed to listen to music with him.
His most important needs I have not met are for
conversation
recreational companionship (music is his greatest love)
I don't meet his sexual need because he has his OW do that. He will not have sex with me at all. I thought he was depressed and had ED the past 8 years. I now know he just can't have sex with two women at once. Guess he has scrupples?!
I am hoping to lure him back to our relationship and be his sexual partner again.
There is much more but I am so grateful to have figured out how to log in and will leave it at this for now.
Phew