OW and I are as different as night and day. I would like to ask H what he finds attractive/sexy in women (mainly me, but also others), but I don't want him to think about OW. There may be no way around it. Maybe I don't even need to know. I just want to be able to "meet his needs". Any suggestions?

My recommendation is that you only ask about you. Asking about any other woman would send up a “there is no correct answer” flag to a man. From a mans viewpoint, just ask him we’re really not that intricate.