Got up at 4:30, at gym at 5. All the while I'm praying for God to bless my mind, heart and mouth.To make my wife see what we have here;that OM is a bad thing. Consistent Plan A seemed to be making small impact.Last night I heard 2 messages from OM. Very rough. So why, when she's picking out her clothes, chooses a thong( this only started w OM) do I say, "Got a date tonight?" Of course she gets really mad, tells me I'm obnoxious, always watching her, etc. I say it's hard to watch someone you love leave, and that I love her dearly. I feel like I've blown the plan,I've given her additional reason to justify the affair.Time is short, and my foot is bleeding where I've shot it...<BR>

Let me get this straight. You are married and your wife is having an affair with your knowledge and you are letting her continue? Yes?

Family Man:<P>You won't make or break your situation with a single comment. I think it's okay to become so frustrated that your pain and anger show sometimes.<BR>And Dogbert, I think it's fair to say that many posters here are working through continuing infidelity, even when the BS knows. FM states that he is working through Plan A...if anyone has solid advice to add to that, I'm sure FM would appreciate it.<BR>FM, stay strong, take it day by day, and don't be so hard on yourself. It won't always be the same old thong and dance.<P> <BR>Robyn

Thong and dance! I needed that!

Dogbert,<P>I guess you don't realize that <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A and Plan B</A> are all about actions of the betrayed spouse during infidelity -- <B>while the affair is still going on</B>.<P>When you get some time, click the link and read this article... it's quite amazing, really.<P>Family Man,<P>I remember only too well going through the thong phase -- pretty embarrassing now... I could have been your wife having that conversation with my ex-H. <P>On the other hand, I was also the betrayed spouse (five times over) and I remember the cologne and mouthwash... the things he didn't do for me, but her (or collective her's)...<P>You're doing okay... just one little slip-up... no biggie.<P>

Thank you all. Dogbert echos what my family has been saying..I'm thinking plan B. The kids make that a challenge, though. I will continue to talk to Steve Harley; I'm also going to see a lawyer.Just to talk. Y'know , apparently I could sue OM for "alienation of affection".. <BR>I also started taking Selzane on Tuesday. I will get through this and be better.

family man -<P>I hope you have Surviving an Affair - it was a great soul saver for me. I know you are in deep emotional pain and hurt. If YOU HAVE NOT read SAA - you need to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It explains it all - and why - but it can be saved - if you have children - the pain of divorce is not worth it!!!!!! You can save yourself some counseling money if you read SAA - I can't believe how many questions it answered for me. I pray for you. aftershock

After Shock - Thanks. I have read SAA; I will read it again.I agree about pain of divorce. These WS are just difficult...Let me ask, SAA helped you, was your WS willing to work on things? Mine denies, blames me, sparse w affection, etc. <BR>How did you turn things around?

Hang in there my friend...one LB does not 'break' a situation.<BR>No one can do a 'Perfect' plan A...just do the best you can at any given time.<BR>You didn't shoot yourself in the foot...just stubbed your big toe. <P>Regarding Dogbert's comment...<BR>It was just a question - it seems to me that D was only looking to clarify.<BR>I've had many conversations with Dogbert, and I'm sure D understands the plan A/plan B concepts. D is a very insightful member...let's wait and see what D can add to this thread before deciding it's a negative influence ok?<BR>JMHO<BR>SD