Okay, H. has been gone for about 3 months now. Moved in with his mom. H stops by daily to spend time with our children, (12,10,7) and some times asks me to be intimate with him. I have but recenlty stopped about 3 weeks ago. H. OW is on line affair, no PA known at this time. Why am I asking this, "What now?" I need help. Feel like I am in limbo. H. is not moving home, ever. H. recently found job, but will not pay child support. H. asked me for food and gas $$$ two weeks ago, but friends saw h. at beach. They said it looked like he was alone. Beach is 1 1/2 hour drive from home town. I emailed h. and said we need to talk. That h. needs to be financially responsible for his children, I do not work I am disabled and get SSA only for myself and three dependents. H. calls once a week to ask to do laundry, h. calls once in a while wanting to come over and watch tv with kids. But today, I am ill with migraine, I called, no answer, I emailed no anwser, so when I go to doctor, friend in waiting room tells me my H. was seen this last SUnday with a young blond girl. I am feeling very foolish. So I emailed h. and said that I was happy for his new job, and happy that he is moving on. But that I think we needed to talk about financial responsibility for the kids, and not using me for sex anymore. Am I wrong to do this? Should I believe the rumors? SHould I put down boundaries again, about not talking or seeing me alone, only when it relates to the children? H. owns only one car, a Porsche. It will no legally carry but two persons, so when H. wants the kids for a day, h. borrows my car, never puts gas in it, and still expects me to pay his credit cards. Is there another step I need to take, please some one guide me, I feel like I am drowning in doubts, suspicions, and bitterness. thank you, gn

Are you absolutely sure your H is not moving home again. Sounds like he likes to come around alot.Do you want him back? Are you not in Plan A or B? If you have no desire to reconsile maybe you should talk to a lawyer. If you do want to reconsile you should begin Plan A or B.

I would like my husband home. But his expectations are too costly. He told me: "For me to come home you need to:<BR>1.) Give up your Mom and sister. No communications/nothing. 2.) Give up your church. I am a buddist, and think this is better than Christanity, 3.) you can not longer wear make up, color your hair, or cut it.<BR>and the list goes on. H was the one who had the affair, not me. I remember his good traits, not these evil ones that have suddenly appeared. He never showed such a controling nature before. Maybe it is a sign of mental illness? snugglermi