My WH lived with OW for 3 months. He has returned about a month ago,remorseful and apologetic. He agreed not contact OW for the rest of his life. Our marriage seems better than ever since then. Only problem is sex.

We had only twice a month or so before the affair so it was never been frequent enough.(He was much better while dating and the first few years of marriage) We had sex twice since he returned initiated by me. I have tried another times but he is not interested with me. I'm angry and embarrassed by his rejections. He is the one left me and put me thru. terrible suffering and now he rejects me although looks like he in unable rather than rejecting.... I'm very worrying thinking that he prefer OW in this area and unable to perform well with me. Is anyone has similar experience during the beginning of recovery? He shows affection and caring of me everyday but I'm scared that he eventually go back to OW because of this - men's primary need. Please help!

Married 6 years
WH 51 (second marriage no children)
me 47 ( the same)
OW 45?(married once - now single)

Jessie, I have just read your past posts and I don't see anything about the affair ending in the proper way or your setting high conditions for his return.

When you say he 'promised' not to contact OW again, did he write an NC letter as in SAA? Did YOU send it?

Did he change his contact details to ensure NC? Or can she still contact him on the same numbers or email?

Do they ever see each other?

Do you have snooping tools in place?

If he goes back to her it won't be because of you, you ARE willing to meet his need, which should be enough for his lovebank. Its his affair addiction/withdrawal that is causing the problem.

His resuming the A is not an idle fear. It happens if the addiction is not managed properly. The first step is NC for life.

How long has he said it's been since contact with her? He will go through withdrawal for her first.

Sex is a big problem for me too. It always has to be planned or initiated by me. I don't understand either. The frequency has improved significantly, but she has to be reminded of the lack of initiation every now and then.