She's still trying to sabotage my relationship w/Daughter - 09/28/06 07:07 PM
Old timer here! Haven't posted in some years. Back in 9/00, my ex and then 4 year old daughter were allowed by a kangaroo court to move to CT 125 miles from where I now live in NJ. Besides every other weekend, the agreement allowed for one weekday evening visit per week at a midway point (logistically impossible). Yesterday, I was within 10 miles of where daughter and ex live on business. I had arranged 2 days in advance with ex to meet w/daughter at a restaurant I selected, about 15 miles from their home. The day I was to meet and have dinner with now 10 year old daughter, ex leaves a message saying if I don't pick her up at her home and bring her back to her home the deal is off. Mind you, this involves an additional 1 hour of travel in the direction opposite from where I travel to go back to NJ.
I have spent weekends in my daughter's neck of the woods for swim meets, birthday parties that she otherwise would've missed, Brownie functions, dance recitals, etc...I have also sacrificed part of many weekends when she had other functions on Friday evening/Sat morning (sleepover parties...). My ex is very unaccommodating on the rare times that I have things in NJ that I'd like my daughter to attend. She basically does not foster a relationship for us. D has mentioned that Mommy told her things like "daddy can see you every Wednesday, but he doesn't want to come see you". D has even referred to the "agreement".
I have never had a weekday visit with my daughter. It is not fair to the child to have to travel so far on a school night for a 1 hour visit. It's funny that that was my argument about her move. When I tried to make the weekday thing happen, she wouldn't based on that very argument. The arrangement was acceptable by a judge. Ex has never had to make the trek on a weekday (about 65 miles each way for her). I work in NYC and have a 1:15 commute each way. So there I am, within 15 miles of her abode and she reneges on the deal. Her thinking is probably the following:
"He came here on business, not to see his daughter, let him do all the driving", or, just that she wanted to thwart the dinner venue, and the time that I proposed just to be difficult.
Anytime I propose plans, it's ONLY on terms and conditions AMENDED by her, and believe me, she has the final say. She calls all the shots, her way or the highway.
The one that's being hurt by all of this is my daughter.
Her mother is a sociopathic maniac.
I used to let her get away with changing the rules, but this led to her taking more and more liberties, "get away with it once, you can get away with it again."
Going a legal route doesn't make sense.
Any ideas on how to butter up satan? I still smell the sulphur. Am I supposed to cave in to her conditions, demands, and wishes all the time?
Would love to hear from any old timers who might remember me.
I have spent weekends in my daughter's neck of the woods for swim meets, birthday parties that she otherwise would've missed, Brownie functions, dance recitals, etc...I have also sacrificed part of many weekends when she had other functions on Friday evening/Sat morning (sleepover parties...). My ex is very unaccommodating on the rare times that I have things in NJ that I'd like my daughter to attend. She basically does not foster a relationship for us. D has mentioned that Mommy told her things like "daddy can see you every Wednesday, but he doesn't want to come see you". D has even referred to the "agreement".
I have never had a weekday visit with my daughter. It is not fair to the child to have to travel so far on a school night for a 1 hour visit. It's funny that that was my argument about her move. When I tried to make the weekday thing happen, she wouldn't based on that very argument. The arrangement was acceptable by a judge. Ex has never had to make the trek on a weekday (about 65 miles each way for her). I work in NYC and have a 1:15 commute each way. So there I am, within 15 miles of her abode and she reneges on the deal. Her thinking is probably the following:
"He came here on business, not to see his daughter, let him do all the driving", or, just that she wanted to thwart the dinner venue, and the time that I proposed just to be difficult.
Anytime I propose plans, it's ONLY on terms and conditions AMENDED by her, and believe me, she has the final say. She calls all the shots, her way or the highway.
The one that's being hurt by all of this is my daughter.
Her mother is a sociopathic maniac.
I used to let her get away with changing the rules, but this led to her taking more and more liberties, "get away with it once, you can get away with it again."
Going a legal route doesn't make sense.
Any ideas on how to butter up satan? I still smell the sulphur. Am I supposed to cave in to her conditions, demands, and wishes all the time?
Would love to hear from any old timers who might remember me.