My WS is not supporting us financially and has decided to file a lawsuit for custody and divorce. If you are trying to save the M do you go full force with the D first or do you try to spare WS any pain with the D? I have been in a holding stance but now it is moving forward. What to do?

hjkl - your attorney wants your money. If you divorce, your attorney gets money. If you don't divorce, s/he doesn't get to charge you as much.

YOU need to decide what you want.

Have you read much here:

HN/HN

Surviving an Affair

Plan A


Have you decided what you want? Are you actively pursuing that?

I read your post that your wife is not supporting you? Is she supposed to?

If the WAS is set on getting a D and you now for a fact that that is going to happen, whether or not you want it to, then I suggest you get a lawyer and secure your interests.

In some cases, you move forward for your own financial protection, particularly since there are children involved. Each is liable for debt incurred by the other until papers are filed.
And you need to protect your children's interests too.

Protect yourself. You can still work on Plan A/B while the process is underway. Let your lawyer handle the ugly stuff. Giving him an easy, uncontested divorce is akin to allowing the A to continue and it just ensures that your life will be as ruined as his if things don't work out in the end.