Hi everyone,

I posted here over a year or so ago trying to save my marriage. Long story short, my wife left me because she said she felt lonely, and was unsure if she loved me anymore. We were together for 5 years, married for 3. We got along extremely well and had a great time. But then I started to have anxiety and chronic pain issues. This lead to me not doing as many things with her and eventually, this made her feel lonely.

So we separated for nearly 6 months. During that time I gave her lots of space. She lived at her parents, while I took care of our house, etc. and she would stop by. I could easily tell she really did not know what she wanted and that is why she dragged out the separation for 6 months.

In any case, I found out she was seeing an old bf from high school. He was a friend of the family and always around, even when I was there. I found out through emails they were involved at least emotionally, and I confronted her on it...she finally said it was correct, but she did not mean for it to happen.

So we divorced.

Within 8 months, she was already married, pregnant, and living with this guy. He even cheated on her in HS, that is why they broke up then.

Lastly, my wife during the split was super set on getting pregnant, and I wasn't quite ready. I think she wanted a baby SO bad, she would do anything for it. Well, she got what she wanted.

I guess what I'm wondering is...do you honestly think this new marriage of hers is doomed? I haven't even dated since the divorce because I need to heal. I can not EVEN imagine jumping right into a whole new marriage SO soon, AND a pregnancy.

From what I've read, people who "rebound" like she did have a very high chance of failure.

What do you think?

Luckily, I'm healing, but I do still have some anger towards those two and wonder how it is working out. In the meantime, I'm trying to move ahead and let it all go.

Paul,

First of all, don't concern yourself with her anymore; she isn't your problem.

Having said the above, her relationship with this person is extremely unlikely to succeed. It is a rebound and worse yet, she married the person she is rebounding with. It won't last buddy.

Keep working on healing yourself. If you would like to email me sometime, send a note to [email]bhinwi@hotmail.com.[/email]

Keith

Thanks Keith,

I do agree with you that she does not matter anymore. I guess (I hate to say this)...I hope it doesn't work out for her since it caused me so much pain. It just doesn't seem fair.

I think she was VERY vulnerable during the split and so it made that relationship happen so much easier. It's funny, because before we even met, he was always around her and her family, yet she wouldn't date him again (he cheated on her in HS). I just find it odd that at such a time of need she finally gave in to him.

At least I left the whole marriage with dignity. I was not mean, I gave her what she wanted, and told her I cared and loved her, etc. I basically took the high road and never looked back. I even told her, once it is over...it is over for good. I think that is why it took her so long to divorce me, she even said..."I just don't want to regret it". So even then, she was not sure.

I guess all I hope for is that she has respect for me, and how I tried to save the marriage, and most of all, always loved her and cared for her. Hopefully that made an impact. That is one of those things I guess I will never know.