Visit From Husband - 11/11/07 10:26 PM
Hi Everyone, well this has not been the best day. Early this morning aroung 1:00 am, my husband did a surprise visit. Anyway, we talked and he stayed overnight. The problem is that he still wants us to be intimate but I find it hard to do because of the fact that he have other women in his life. Anyway, the entire time that he was here his cell phone continued to ring. Some calls he would answer and go into the bathroom to talk. One call I overheard the female on the phone. Anyway, he started questioning me about why have I changed towards him, etc. It's like he is the victim! I told him that due to the fact that we have been married 4 years and he have only been home with me about 8 months out of the 4 years, I do not have that bond with him. I continued talking and eventually started crying. He apologized and said that he did not know that he had hurt me! What kind of idiot can he be?! Committing adultery, getting his girlfriend out of jail when I had her put in there for coming to my house harrassing and threatening me, bringing her belongings to our house, physically and emotionally abusing me and he have the nerve to say that he did not know that he had hurt me!!! I asked him how would he have felt if after marrying him I bring my ex-boyfriends into the relationship and continue to date? How would he feel if I hit and bite him? I asked him these questions. My husband is not sorry for what he did. After talking to me and trying to convince me that he is sorry and he love me so much, etc. would you believe that he began laughing at me because I became upset about the way he treats me and started crying?! I was angered by this. Here I am pouring my heart and feelings out to him and then all he can do about it is laugh! Why should I try making this marriage work out? He is not Godly sorry for his sins. Godly sorrow will bring on a spirit of repentance! He gets joy out of hurting me. I use to really love my husband. I was in love with him but now those feelings are completely gone and I told him about it. Of course, he became a little physical but I stood up to him. I threaten to call the police and then he calmed down. I can't go on living like this. I have made up my mind to divorce him but then I want so bad to make this marriage work. Apparently, this is not what he wants and I am suffering for it. I try to listen and take advice of those that says, "God Hates Divorce" but what do God do about a spouse like mine? I have been through more pain than what anyone can imagine. I can't go on. I want to be the perfect Christian and the perfect Wife but my heart is heavy and my body is tired. I can't go on. I have never been in a situation like this and I don't know how to handle it. Of course, I do not want to hurt my husband because he hurt me. I know that it may hurt him if I divorce him but who should I be more concerned about? I do not want to have to divorce him but he leave me no other choice. I am confused! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Please keep me in your prayers.