What a fall! - 05/16/10 01:54 PM
Wow-I still cant believe Im here.
24yrs of giving and now this.
I gave way to much and expected nothing and so I got nothing. I can see it so clearly now.
Short summary...Married 24yrs, strong committed, great life. WH slowly began checking out of our lives, staying home from sports and school events, always burdened with $, etc. WH is NOT a communicator, tried to get him to talk or even argue for yrs and nothing. Slowly DD and I had our lives w/in our family, WH was a part when he chose to be. But all things considered we where a strong family unit I thought.
I was feeding my emotions from his rejection for yrs. 18months ago I went to a counselor to discuss my emotional eating. Got healthy and began looking at my life and marriage with new glasses. Scarry what I began seeing. Wh was totaly withdrawn and wouldnt talk about it. Learned I didnt know this man I was married too, nothing like the guy
I had married.
Flash forward learned WH has been using a dating service for yrs, "when he felt lonely" and now has had an A. Thinks it is all my fault. Says it was stupid but not sorry. He actually said he was like David in the bible, withholding love from his wife because my weight gain was me disrespecting him!!!!
Says he doesnt want to divorce I shd just get over it and go on as we are. Financially a bad time for D, Constant lying about status of A. He says they are just friends now and cant be together . He has moved into guest room. Hasnt' spoken to DD hardly in months. Wont go to counseling, Begged him to talk to DD explained that counselor said he must to help her understand its not her fault. He said he wasnt going to explain himself to anybody, esp not a kid. She is 15! Said maybe when she is 30 she will understand. I replied so she just cries herself to sleep till shes 30 and re said I dont have to explain myself to ANYONE.
So I filed for financial protection, he laughed said I was blufffing. Now 10mths later he continues to lie about everything. He hired an attorney but told her to stall everything cause I was bluffing.
As I type he in in his room under the covers talking to OW on his go phne he bought at Walmart. Idiot left recpt in his pocket and I found it doing laundry. OW is married and has told him she loves him but loves her family and her life and he needs to leave her alone. He calls and email daily argueing with her that they are more than a fantasy and are meant to be together one day. Hasnt ssen her since sAugust.
Long sorry story I know. He is forfeting his family and life as he knows it for hope that she will change her mind or her husband will die (actually wrote that in email to her)so they can be together..
She has called it off 4 times now but lets him talk her into continueing to write and call. So she must be as sad and sick, and selfish as he is.What a pair.
She is living the high life in the Virgin Island right now with her Hubby. WHy she continues this I'll never know. We are living in hell while she is on vacation!!!
Sorry so very long winded, feel better just having typed this. Thanks for listening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
24yrs of giving and now this.
I gave way to much and expected nothing and so I got nothing. I can see it so clearly now.
Short summary...Married 24yrs, strong committed, great life. WH slowly began checking out of our lives, staying home from sports and school events, always burdened with $, etc. WH is NOT a communicator, tried to get him to talk or even argue for yrs and nothing. Slowly DD and I had our lives w/in our family, WH was a part when he chose to be. But all things considered we where a strong family unit I thought.
I was feeding my emotions from his rejection for yrs. 18months ago I went to a counselor to discuss my emotional eating. Got healthy and began looking at my life and marriage with new glasses. Scarry what I began seeing. Wh was totaly withdrawn and wouldnt talk about it. Learned I didnt know this man I was married too, nothing like the guy
I had married.
Flash forward learned WH has been using a dating service for yrs, "when he felt lonely" and now has had an A. Thinks it is all my fault. Says it was stupid but not sorry. He actually said he was like David in the bible, withholding love from his wife because my weight gain was me disrespecting him!!!!
Says he doesnt want to divorce I shd just get over it and go on as we are. Financially a bad time for D, Constant lying about status of A. He says they are just friends now and cant be together . He has moved into guest room. Hasnt' spoken to DD hardly in months. Wont go to counseling, Begged him to talk to DD explained that counselor said he must to help her understand its not her fault. He said he wasnt going to explain himself to anybody, esp not a kid. She is 15! Said maybe when she is 30 she will understand. I replied so she just cries herself to sleep till shes 30 and re said I dont have to explain myself to ANYONE.
So I filed for financial protection, he laughed said I was blufffing. Now 10mths later he continues to lie about everything. He hired an attorney but told her to stall everything cause I was bluffing.
As I type he in in his room under the covers talking to OW on his go phne he bought at Walmart. Idiot left recpt in his pocket and I found it doing laundry. OW is married and has told him she loves him but loves her family and her life and he needs to leave her alone. He calls and email daily argueing with her that they are more than a fantasy and are meant to be together one day. Hasnt ssen her since sAugust.
Long sorry story I know. He is forfeting his family and life as he knows it for hope that she will change her mind or her husband will die (actually wrote that in email to her)so they can be together..
She has called it off 4 times now but lets him talk her into continueing to write and call. So she must be as sad and sick, and selfish as he is.What a pair.
She is living the high life in the Virgin Island right now with her Hubby. WHy she continues this I'll never know. We are living in hell while she is on vacation!!!
Sorry so very long winded, feel better just having typed this. Thanks for listening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!