Hello to all that reads this and think you for your time.

Tihs is where i am at. The summer of 2010 my wife bebacme really good friends witha guy and they became"Just friends" but in side of me and her actions made me feel diffrent. its been a long road and I tried pain A and plain B. I ended up using papers to scare her and that created a whole diffrent wave of emotions. It was on angain and off again here and there and when the court date came she wasnt ready but i didnt belive her becaseu of what had happened ealier. Now its been a month and a half since the D has been final. We still have been on and off again with her telling me that she wants to make it work and everything was going good untill her :friend got in trouble. People found out and he blamed me that they found out and she belived him and not me. then she denied that she wanted to make it work. I have chosen to stop communication with her and how when she does talk to me about the kids she is very polite and thanks me for everything i do. That is fine and all great but now every weekend that I have with out the kids eather she or her family calls me asking me to come over and be around. Her family askes me where is is and I dont have the answers and they look at me confused like i should know. I just started talking to a councler and he told me to be pacient and i know hes been talking to her also. I still love her and my family has told me to cut the cord and I dont want to but i dont know what the best option is for me and my kids. They have been going throught a lot. I was with her for 8 years and we seemed fine untill her friend came about and then everythign started to unravel. I will admit we didnt start off on a solid foundation

Just to add the last time we communicated she told me " Whats best for you is to fine someone that will except you for you and dont have to change for them, and she has never felt comftable around me she has allways felt unnatrual around me. My question is after 8 years and 3 kids this comes out now after she found a "Friend".

She's having an affair.
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Best of luck.

Pepperband he is divorced. He is wondering how to move forward. My opinion is too continue working on your own self esteem and move on. She keeps messing with your head and it needs to stop!!

**edit**

It's highly likely that she says this now, to justify in her head why she's had an affair.

I wouldn't completely dismiss this idea though. Have you ever had the feeling she felt this way in the past? Were you two able to have open discussions about anything in the past? Did she ever give you the impression that she was putting on an image for the last eight years?

I guess what I'd want to know is why she doesn't feel she can be comfortable around you, and see if there's any truth in that.

But please remember that I am not dismissing the fact the she could be using this as an excuse to justify her affair, by "rewriting" your history together. It happens all the time in infidelity.