New Here: Is moving away with kids from WH ok? - 09/22/13 02:49 AM
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=168539&Number=2744077#Post2744077
I have posted the link to my previous posts on the Surviving an Affair forum. As an update since I last posted, WH continued to cheat after our new baby arrived (who he delivered by accident at our home - which I thought would somehow change him and make him want to reconcile). I was wrong. I finally had enough, he was not willing to stop the affair, so I asked him to move out. He found an apartment and has basically chosen the OW over me and our two young children. In addition, I have spoken with his previous ex-wife as part of exposure and the reasons he told me for their divorce were apparently not true - it was due to his serial cheating and refusal to stop it in their marriage. I have also learned of additional cheating (with men) via Craiglist postings as recently as two weeks ago, even as he continues a "love" relationship with the OW. I have been diagnosed with cervical cancer due to HPV (who knows if it is related to his behavior or not). The separation agreement is almost completed and he is willing to do most everything to keep this out of court, including paying enough in child support so that I can continue to stay home with our children. I am thankful for that.
Finally, to my question. I am considering moving with our two young children (2 years old and 3 months old) to be closer to my family and my WH's family (who are very supportive of me). They all live about 5 hours away and I have no other family near me right now (only my very dear best friend). In addition to the emotional support I would receive, I also want to distance the children from their father - his values, poor judgment, and way of living. Nonetheless, I question this decision to move the children away from him. My two year old loves his daddy very much, hugs and kisses him, and I know my WH loves his children - just not enough to choose them over being a serial cheater. Will I do more harm to my children by moving or by staying? I honestly only want to do what is best for them (and for me, of course). Currently, he sees the children frequently and by moving, this would decrease significantly. Any advice would be much appreciated.
I have posted the link to my previous posts on the Surviving an Affair forum. As an update since I last posted, WH continued to cheat after our new baby arrived (who he delivered by accident at our home - which I thought would somehow change him and make him want to reconcile). I was wrong. I finally had enough, he was not willing to stop the affair, so I asked him to move out. He found an apartment and has basically chosen the OW over me and our two young children. In addition, I have spoken with his previous ex-wife as part of exposure and the reasons he told me for their divorce were apparently not true - it was due to his serial cheating and refusal to stop it in their marriage. I have also learned of additional cheating (with men) via Craiglist postings as recently as two weeks ago, even as he continues a "love" relationship with the OW. I have been diagnosed with cervical cancer due to HPV (who knows if it is related to his behavior or not). The separation agreement is almost completed and he is willing to do most everything to keep this out of court, including paying enough in child support so that I can continue to stay home with our children. I am thankful for that.
Finally, to my question. I am considering moving with our two young children (2 years old and 3 months old) to be closer to my family and my WH's family (who are very supportive of me). They all live about 5 hours away and I have no other family near me right now (only my very dear best friend). In addition to the emotional support I would receive, I also want to distance the children from their father - his values, poor judgment, and way of living. Nonetheless, I question this decision to move the children away from him. My two year old loves his daddy very much, hugs and kisses him, and I know my WH loves his children - just not enough to choose them over being a serial cheater. Will I do more harm to my children by moving or by staying? I honestly only want to do what is best for them (and for me, of course). Currently, he sees the children frequently and by moving, this would decrease significantly. Any advice would be much appreciated.