Ok...nothing has worked and now I am filing for a divorce since all other alternatives have failed. I have just learned that my wife has been seeing two different men (one has been there the whole time, the other secondary "man" has been replaced by another..so actually a total of 3 men over the past 2 years) , not including me, simultaneously over the last two years.<P>My question is: Is there any hope for my wife? Has anyone ever heard of anyone recovering from this obsession of having multiple men? Or should I really not give any further thought to any proposal of reconciliation and move on with my life as quickly as possible?<P>How abnormal is this? How crazy and is there any cure or any way to reach these people or is it an incurable illness?<P>Question

I don't know, but I sympathize. My wife, before she left, had "had" over 200 partners in the last 10 years. I gave up trying to control. But I was still willing to work on the relationship because of the kids. I rationalized that she was coming home to me at night. Then she found the one that she was not willing to come home for.<P>I still hope that she will see what she has done. But it is getting fainter and fainter.<P>Good Luck to you.<P>

guys,<P>no offense, but move on. Most of us here have been waiting for our spouses that are betraying us to "wake up" and see that wrong behavior they have done and how it affects all around them, especially children. Most of us want to believe and also need to believe that this instance of betrayal is a momentary lapes in judgement, a one-time thing, or just something the marriage can bounce back from.<P>But, I for one realize that if there are other affairs, other partner, or multiple partners the problem is deeper inside that person. We all deserve better, and so do our children. Does it mean we should seek custody, (probably), but it also means we must respect ourselves enough, when enough is enough.<P>Yeah, I still hope my wive's affair will crash (9 mths and counting..), but I would definitely move on if there were more. I am fully aware she may never come back after the crash, but that is my only hope. Other affairs and men, would be more than enough for me.

Izzy,<P>I reread your profile and the only thing different is the length of time we were married, 16 yrs, and the way we started our relationship. We were long distance lovers, 200 miles apart and what started out as once a month weekends soon turned to every weekend. While you guys matured into your relationship, I don't think we ever got to know one another for real.<P>I too suffer from the same problem you do in regards to conversation and showing affection.<P>Bob