everybody, how long have you been official divorced or separated and are your "court

It's been 2 years for me. Everything is done.I feel a little hurt as a child is involved.But there are bitter feelings on both sides of the fence.But i believe this to be that we still care and are frustrated that we weren't able to keep our marriage.I ended mine. I felt neglected. I had a one night stand that i don't regret. We were still married but we had agreed to separate, now i found out he didn't really want to, but he played like he did. The one nighter isn't something he even knows about. AND no i didn't leave my husband for this other person. I do care for my ex on a very large scale but i know i can't be with him. We're like puzzle pieces with the connecting picture but the wrong cut. (if you get my meaning)I am hurting still. But i don't blame him. I just couldn't stay any longer, i felt alone.[This message has been edited by helping (edited December 05, 2000).][This message has been edited by helping (edited December 05, 2000).]

Divorced for two years. Separated for over three before that.I'd say that I definitely still have some anger and hard feelings. Trying to accept the fact that it's possible I may always have them.

Coming up on 3 months separated. Seems like a lot longer than that.....4 months since "the" speech. I've gotten the signed separation agreement form her. All I need to do is sign and wait.... ------------------ nickit's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again[This message has been edited by c00ker (edited December 06, 2000).]

Separated since first week in March, don't even want to think about how long it has been. She filed divorce papers, so we'll see how much longer it takes until that is done...Mike

Was separated for almost 2-1/2 years before divorce was final. Ex would not settle - obviously had doubts about OW and wasn't ready to commit until then, and used me as the excuse as to why he wasn't divorced yet. Divorce was final 1-1/2 years ago. Am doing really quite well, better than I thought I would be. I loved my H very much, but he obviously did not love me for a long time, even though he denied it until he met OW and affair was discovered. Left after 17 years of marriage to marry OW, which he fianlly did. I have realized that I am better off with him, as he lied, cheated and used other people merely to get his "needs" met. But there is still sadness for what could have been, if he had only tried....[This message has been edited by Lady M (edited December 05, 2000).]

D-Day, was june of 98ex left thanks giving day, Nov of 98papers are in the courts, just waiting to be signed by a judge.. It has been two very long/short yrs.. and I am still so very heart broken..AV

Been seperated since Oct of 99. April thru Oct 99 he was overseas, so technically we haven't lived together since Apr of 99. Didn't expect that he would move out the same day he returned in Oct, but he did. Neither of us has filed yet...He says he'll file as soon as he gets the money...I don't know what I'm waiting on, he doesn't love me. Everyday I feel something different, sometimes I want to fight like hell and hold on and then I feel like I'm beating a dead horse and need to just let go. Feel like I'm Boredeline psychotic for still wanting this marriage at times. I wish the love would go away. It'd be so much easier.------------------ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.lady_divine77@yahoo.com

hi, we have been in counseling 9 months, h filed a few weeks ago, we are living in the same house until January 25th because of the children, (holidays and birthdays) We hope to have a friendly divorce. All because he is "not in LOve" It gets harder everyday to live here with him.

We were separated since January '99, divorce was final August 1, 2000 after 16 years of "marriage". I am much better off now in all respects. I'm not angry, bitter or even ambivalent. My kids are happier and actually see their father more now than they did when he lived here. There's nobody else in my life right now, ditto for him, though I know he dates.I was as miserable as anyone else back then - it's like I was a different person, but I can truly say that divorce isn't so much an end as it is a beginning.

Seperated Oct8 1999Divorce will be final in 40some days.Bill

Husband left on Xmas day '99 D Day January 7, 2000 H served D papers on Valentine's day '00 Went to court several times, couldn't agree Went to trial June something or other, amazingly I forgot Was called in right after my bday in Sept to sign the papers Received the papers in mail on Oct 7. 3 days before my wedding anniversary.Was seperated nine and half months til divorce was final. Coming up on one year since he left.Still angry yet at the same time, almost numb.Not sure if that answers your question, the topic is a little confusing.Oh and Dec 17 my ex celebrates his one year anniversary with his OW (he shared this, isn't he great?) )#&$)*#&^$)*^@_)(&%+)(&%_*&#_(*&@$_(*&^%

Discovered affair May 15, 1999. Wife left July 2, 1999. Divorced Feb 1, 2000. X supposedly remarried over weekend of 12-1-00 but did not see any ring.Bitter feelings come and go for me. X pretty much either ignores me or acts like nothing has happened.

Separated since Dec. 23rd, 1999.Divorce should have been final by now. Not sure what the hold up is! Mitzi [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Ex left for new job in Colorado 1/00. D-day 3/17/00 - divorce, if he is lucky, will be this month. If it is not final by 12/31/00 he will have to postpone his wedding to OW on 1/1/01

He left to go out on ship 10 Feb--I disovered EVERYTHING a few days later--hung on as long as I could while we e-mailed back and forth--left out home in Japan mid-June. We stopped talking end of August as he prepared separation papers. I hear from him occasionaly when he calls to talk to our child, maybe once or twice a month. He asked me to come back to him once last month, and as I deliberated, he changed his mind and is proceeding with divorce.

Divorce was final 2-23-00, Separated physically on 8-13-99, but living in separate ends of house since 7-19-99. We tried reconcillation from separated homes until 12-28-99, when we had a disagreement on the phone... final decission to divorce was made on 1-4-00. Once papers were completed and agreed upon, it took all of 15 minutes for the judge to read & sign them the day they were filed.

Been separated since late Feb., 1999. He announced he wanted a divorce, had been feeling that way for weeks, maybe months (apparently is seemed perfectly logical to him to throw away a 24 year relationship for a feeling of that duration). After promising that he wouldn't leave without telling me in advance, he called the next night from work and said he wasn't coming home. He introduced the kids to the OW six weeks later and filed the next day. The judge granted him a divorce in October, which will be final in January.He has been unemployed since May, in a booming economy. He always found jobs pretty easily while we were together. The kids and I are living in near poverty and I am getting deeper in debt with each passing day. Two of the kids are not speaking to him, one since the night he left. He has seen less and less of the other kids since he left. The kids now are blaming each other for the fact that there father won't spend much time with them, since he tells them it is because they argue too much.DIVORCE IS EVEN MORE DEVASTATING THAN I COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED. Just when I think it can't get any worse, it does. [This message has been edited by Nellie1 (edited December 06, 2000).]

divorced 29 hours.Hurts like hell.I never wanted this, but one person cannot make a marriage work. he keeps telling me, and himself that his heart wasn't in trying to make our marriage work. Why is he so unhappy then.??AARRRGGGGHHHHHH, all the questions !!!!!!!!he had affair May, June, July 1999 we separated Sept. 1999 I moved away Sept 1999 He followed May 2000 - to be near the children. He's had 5 girlfriends in that time. We got divorced yesterday. 15 mins, and it was all over. He turned up, he didn't have to. I don't know why he did. He was in tears. So was I.I think I'm still numb, and can't quite believe that we did it. I just couldn't hang on any longer. Maybe with all this over, we can get on with being friends.Hugs for all of you,Jo

Was given the "speech" on 6/18/00.Separation agreement was signed on 7/7/00.Divorce papers filed with court on 8/30/00.Final Decree of Divorce was approved on 11/20/00.[This message has been edited by Jayhawk 93 (edited December 06, 2000).]

My divorce will be final Dec 11 at 9:00am. We have been seperated this time for almost 5 months. I am maybe of the minority here but I feel now that my divorce has been a blessing in disguise. I have become a very independant person, I spend alot more time talking with my kids because he no longer is here to monopolize my time. Don't get me wrong I loved and still do love my H but looking back at the past years my life with him has been very stressful and I just dealt with it because I made the commitmant to be married. We were just married to young and had our kids to fast to ever really learn to know eachother. He seems happy with his OW and I guess that is what love is wanting the best for the one you love. We are still very good friends and I am toying with inviting them over here someday for dinner. I think the kids would like that. Some people think I'm a saint, some think I'm nuts for feeling the way I do. I can't make him love me and it is time for me to adventure out in the world and make my own destiny.Jill

Separated since February 2000/ Divorce filed in March and still pending. Court date is scheduled for the end of this month; probably won't be final until January.

The not in love speech, @ Feb 7th, 2000 physically separated July 1, 2000 mediation agreement finished October, 2000 waiting on agreement delivery and individual legal review. Filed, probably sometime in January, which means i still have two more income tax returns to file as married.and I still can't figure out what she's talking about half the time!WIFTTy