Hmmmmmmm... Sounds like you have a bad case of everything-should-be-perfect-itis. In other words, you are feeling like everything is not going as you would like.<P> My motto... when life hands me lemons, break out the blender and make lemon marguaritas! <P> All joking aside, I know exactly what you mean. I can't believe it, just did the math and *BLAMMO* oh wow... I've been a single mom now for almost 6 years! And my kid is still alive! I managed to stave off rodents, flu-bugs, screaming-meme's, bad grades, and food-poisoning.
<P> I don't think it actually gets easier or not as hard. I do believe that you just learn to cope with it. You learn to let the little things go. <P> So, there are weeds everywhere. SO what!? That's when you take the kids for an ice-cream. Maybe a couple of hours later, you tell them it's time for a weed derby. Whoever pulls the most weeds gets to pick the book, movie, or game for the evening. Of course, first you have to tell them that mommoy's pretty flowers are not weeds.<P> As to the dishes...well, my Mom had me standing in a chair at the tender age of 7, with an apron tied twice around my teeny little waist (miss that!) and up to my elbows in suds. Granted, occasionally, the drinks in our glasses would mysteriously have soap bubbles in them, but there were no crumbs. Did I mention I had to do this hideous task in the dead of summer, with no air-conditioning? Not to mention two little sisters trying to knock me off of the chair?<P> I was a regular little Cinderella. Sweeping, mopping, dusting, changing the carburator... well maybe just the engine oil.
Your kids are probably able to handle simple chores. Put 'em to work!<P> As to the financial part... this is no lie. I went to work at 15. I would give my mom 100/ week, and keep the rest for myself. I was working full-time. I think your kids may be a little young for work, but when they do, don't let them work full-time. I ended up dropping out of school. <P> But, you can sweeten the chore deal by acting as an employer would. Pay them for services rendered. Dishes could be 25-50 cents a load. Sweeping 25 cents a room. dusting the same. Once they start to think they could really get rich doing house-work, you may find that hiring a house-keeping service is cheaper.
<P> You sound like you are doing fine. At least, I didn't read anywhere in your post that you were beginning to flip out about the monster roaches that were scurrying everywhere. <P> Relax... take a deep breath (oh, now try that again, I know you probably just let it out to tell one of the kids to stop torturing their sibling) and,<P> No worries. If you have a higher power to give them to, then do it. Then slowly exhale... thank your higher power for the day and your lives together. You have made it this far. You are allowed to worry and wonder, but remember... those two things get you nowhere.<P> It doesn't get any easier and it could get a lot worse. Take me for example, I have been practically certifiable... I whined and fussed and worried and got angry. Then I finally realised that as long as my child's life was not in danger, then the dishes could go a night in the sink.<P> I realised that Someone was watching out for me all those times when I didn't know how I was going to pay for heating oil in the winter. Somehow, someway, the money would show up just when it was needed most. <P> When I needed to feed and cloth my daughter, her father would come through (MIRACLE of miracles! lol) and pay the child-support through.<P> I'm sorry this was so long. I just wanted to let you know that you will (and are) going to cope with things and you will succeed. Hang in there! Smile (I don't care if it's fake and you have to super-glue you lips up, lol, your kids will think it's the real deal). One huge plus, you do learn to laugh again, you're forced to! What else could we possibly do at our lower dips and valleys of our lives?<P> Make lemonade for the kids and I'll have a lemon marguarita!<P> Take care! <P> Mynabird~~
<p>[This message has been edited by Mynabird (edited July 09, 2001).]