Poll: How long was/is your relationship? - Marriage Builders® Forums

Okay, I have been noticing that a LOT of relationships here have been about the same as mine (17 years) and we all know what else we have in common!!!So I would like to take a poll on how long your total relationship was...from dating through marriage. Another common number is 10 years....Anyone like to respond?I intend to collate this! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]Thanks,Jacky[ October 12, 2001: Message edited by: Nina too ]

NinaI have been married 7 years and been with H for 9 years. Ironically it started in about October and ends in October. Another stat you can use is how many children during that time. I obviously don't have children. And age difference is 1 year with him being older.

We were together 17 years, married 12.We were bogh born in 1966 and we have two children, 10 and almost 6(in 3 weeks).Good poll, I'm interested in the results too. Lynn

Oh I'm taking the cake! Dated for 5 years married until she got the 7 MONTH itch.

Oh and to match Pantha our relationship started on August 12th and I found her with OM on Aug. 12th!

Officially Married 12 years, 1 month, 13 days, & 20 hours but who's counting. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] We only dated about 3 months before we found out we were haveing a baby. The interesting thing is that our first date was actually a year earlier. We went out together on a blind double date. After the date I called the other woman and ended up going out with her for like 10 months. My X called the other man and went out with him for like a week.We were married when I was 18 & idiot girl was 16. I know have three AWESOME daughters Jessica (just turned 12), Mykiala (I blame her for my grey hairs 9), and my baby Corissa (6).

Dated for 1 yearEngaged for 2 yearsGot pregnant with first baby for 12th anniversaryHad the second baby for 15th anniversaryHe filed for divorce for 17th anniversaryHe had petition dismissed for 18th anniversary(Boy, he knows how to do it big for those anniversaries. Wonder what he does for wife #2?)So, we were together for 3 years before we married. We lived together within the marriage for 17 years and it took more than 3 years to get divorced so we were married for 20 years. And I [I]DO NOT[I] want him back.

dated 10 mths married before A 18 1/2 yrs 2 1/2 yrs since start of A in the process of Divorcing total 22 yrs this month what a waste [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Well, we met on May 1, 1997, first kiss on Christmas eve (Dec. 24, 1997) married on Dec. 19, 1998. Separated (not legally) May 19, 2001. Still married.It has been the most intense 3 years of my life - most difficult - most rewarding - most painful.-AD

Met in 9/85 Married 4/86 Baby born 8/88 Almost divorced over his A in 1998; he admitted it was mistake; reconciled. In 1999, moved to NC for a new job for him; his career hit skids, got fired 3 times in 21 months. He began EA with MW at third job; both fired. Lied to me about EA; said I was crazy and imagining things. Went to counselor (last Spring); thought marriage was coming around. 8/01 he gets new job and OW reappears. 9/01 find out he's paying some of her bills and swears they are in love "like he's never loved anyone before" So, 16 years later, we're going to the counselor this afternoon where I'm fairly certain he is going to tell me he definitely wants a divorce and has no intention of continuing with the therapist, even tho we owe it to our daughter to learn how to get along enough to share in her upbringing.

first dated in fall 1982, married in Julyof 1985, lived together for two years before marriage. separated July 2000, divorced September 2001married 15 years, together about 18 years.two children 12 and 9marriage length has nothing to do with it, the fog has to do with learned coping abilities when entering midlife, and the learned responses to midlife from her family of origin (EA/PA!) [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] One of these days, plan LB will tell her what I really think of her.wiftty

We were married June 10, 1995 we met April 24,1994. We bought our first house July 21 2001 he cheated on me August 4 2001. We have 2 boys. 2 and 4 and we are moving the divorce along so fast it may be over in less than a month. I am in total shock still. He wants the divorce I wanted to work on it but I think I am done giving now.

Together 18 years married for 16 years, 10/27 is my 16th Anniv. First EA detected on 5 years ago and made up. This time I don't have a clue at best a year ago at worst 5 years ago

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by redhat: Together 18 years married for 16 years, 10/27 is my 16th Anniv <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>correction ... 10/15 ... sigh

Interesting topic you've started. We've been together 13 years, married for 10. There are a lot of similar time periods in this thread aren't there?Hope you're doing well. I've been thinking of you!K

I like to join in on these things too... and this is my ex-marriage:Met on a blind date, married six WEEKS later, he had 3 affairs in year seven (itch?) I had an affair 13 years later (MLC?) and he had a couple more affairs to pay me back.From beginning to end - 20 years.

I have noticed the same thing. It appears that most relationship that are failing are in the double digits. I lived with my H for 5 years, dated 4 years(high school sweetheart) previous to that and have been married for 17 years...a GRAND total of 26 years. Even though we are not divorced or have filed, I can identify with alot of the painful postings that I see on this web site, for myself and my H's point of view as well. We are both in the withdrawn stage. Only time will tell.

Hmmmm...first date-Feb. 1986 (I was 16, he was 18) Married July of 1989. First baby Oct. 1989, second baby May of 1992, third baby March of 1997. His A started in fall of 1999. He left December 23, 1999. Divorced November 2000. So a total of 11 years married, 3 1/2 years dating! All of this by the time I was 31!! YIKES!!Mitzi [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

I win!Met Fall 77, Started dating Feb 79 got married Jan 80.She left Feb 99. Divorce in progress (my doing) Married 22 years this coming January.

We were married 19 years with six kids when his affair began in 9/98. We had been together 24 years at the time, since meeting in 1974.

We dated 18 months, married for nearly 17 years. I think he started an EA about 3 1/2 months ago, that's when he changed into an evil alien. I'm sure we had a happy marriage before then.SAU

We met June 12, 1993. We had our first daughter on October 15, 1994. We got married on November 4, 1995 and we are now separated as of August 16, 2001. All of our birthdays are this month and then our anniversary is coming up too. Right now I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. We continuously fight about the same thing and still, neither of us is willing to bend. As of today, I told him I will no longer contact him for anything. The ball is in his court. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

HI! Thanks for responding! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]The spread is fairly even so far, except there are three people who had relationships for a total of 17 years, and three for a total if 18 years....hmmm what happens at THAT time in a marriage?Keep going guys!

16 years as of 5 Oct 2001 met 1 June 1985 asked her to marry me 15 June 1985 married 5 Oct 1985All at God's request. I am thankful for her because I have gotten much closer to God. I would have loved to gotten closer to God and her with the enormous amount of pain though.[ October 12, 2001: Message edited by: professorg ]

We could have met 20 years ago, when I was a freshman in college and she was a senior (she says she vaguely remembers me). Or we could have met 13 years ago, when I started grad school and she was mid-way through. But we actually met 11 years ago, bought a house together 9 years ago, and got married 8 years ago. Her itch started around the 7 year mark, typically enough.

I've known my husband since June 1987. Married in October 1988. D-day was November 1999 (11 years)Separated since January 2000.13th Anniversary is October 22, 2001.We're still not divorced....gonna happen this year tho.....Aloha, Ms.O

29 years, married 24

Known my W since her mother was pregnant with her.Good friends since she was 18, 1989. Started dating in April of 1996, five months after my mother died. Married September, 1997. She asked for divorce end of July/begining of August 2001, 5 months after my father died. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Hmmm, 16-18 years has the most responses.vb_guy, did you get my email?

First date, November 1, 1986, which was also his 40th birthday. Married on Valentines day 1987. First marriage for both of us. No kids. Separation is imminent as the 15th anniversary creeps closer. Along similar lines, I learned something interesting at the veteran center last week. My H is a vietnam vet who's never received counselling for ptsd. When I spoke with the counsellor, she said virtually all of her new clients are between ages 52 and 55. She said physiological changes make something (didn't quite catch the term) in the brain thinner, and things which have been stuffed for years can no longer be stuffed.

Okay!Poll results so far9taken from D/D, GQII, EN and In Recovery boards:Of 58 respondants:17 yrs: 9 18 yrs: 7 14 yrs: 5 11 yrs: 5 16 yrs: 4 23,24 yrs: 3 All other yrs: 2 or 1What happens in those teen years of a relationship???Anyone else?

Heello, I think we are the average:dating from V/1979 married IV/1982 OD IX/1982 YD III/1990D day XI/1999 (17 years of marriage,20 together) separated VII/2000 moved in OW X/2000 divorced VII/2001Still loving him and hoping we'd be together one dayD still living with OW

two children 15 and 10 * seperated 6-15-01 * Together 20 years * Married 18 years

dated for 3 mos loved together before we were married for 3 mos married for 16 yrs 11mos and 18 daysso a total of 17+ years

together 8 and half years married 5 and half of that

here goes:Met: May 25, 1991 (dated 2 yrs) Married: August 14, 1993 (married 8 yrs) D-Day for WS's EA:February 21, 2001 D-Day for WS's PA:May 31, 2001 No children *Still married and working things out* [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

^

Dated for 2 years, then MARRIED FOR 20 YEARS Had three kids (11, 16, & 17). Been in counseling for 6 months. Separated for 2 months.

* Together 21 years * Married 16 years * 2 children 18y/o & 14 y/o * Separated March 8, 2001 * Divorce not final/ but any time now.[ October 16, 2001: Message edited by: idostylin ]

ok, here it goes....Started dating 10/76 Exh..16...me 17 married 9/81 first baby 9/82 second baby 7/86 Met his London W**re 9/00 D day 10/99 H left 6/00 H filed for Divorce 9/00 Divorce final 4/01Sooooo...dated 5 years before we were married... married 18 years at D day....married 19 years when Divorce was final... we would have had our 20th just this past Sept/01.PS:... I hate him !!scoick