Well..It's my turn - Marriage Builders® Forums

I've just recieved a call from my wife's attorney introducing himself. She's instructed him to file for divorce; he's done that, and will be mailing papers to me.I'm not sure how I feel. I do know I'm sad. And that I've learned a lot, and will be ok..That said; she took OM w her when she went to attorney's office. To me, that says it all.I cannot shake feeling discarded; worth less.I'm in plan B, since Thanksgiving.I had loved being her husband; I'm not sure I can recover..life, love..I really tried..Dan[ January 08, 2002: Message edited by: Family Man ]

{{{{{Dan}}}}} I'm so sorry. Of course you can and you WILL recover. You're a wonderful, caring, loving man. Your W is a fool not to see it. This is/has all been about HER. You and I are NOT WORTHLESS!! We are God's precious children. Dan, ask him to carry you. You can do it. Hold your head up. You can only recover if it's your choice. We love you and SO DOES GOD. If you are worried about the D and what it will do to you financially, please get an attorney of your own.I'm praying for you Dan. We'll get through all of this mess together!!PEACE,Kari

trust me you will recover in time, there will be ups and downs and when it ends I don't know, but it gets better. I to felt so discarded almost as if I never existed, I have come along way in a year. She is still with OM and talking about them getting married. You are strong and will survive, In the mean time come over to my pity party and help me out with all the ladies here.

I'm so sorry. The whole lawyer thing was really hard on me. On the positive note, OW's husband (now ex husband) and I had the same lawyer, so we thought that was funny. Of course my ex and OW laughed all the way to the justice of the peace 4 days after my divorce was final, so maybe I didn't get the last laugh. Oh well, I will! They will see that fairy tale affairs don't have the same appeal day in and day out. Anyway, I know how you are feeling - you sound like a strong, good man. It is nice to know there is still such a thing.WhoamInow

I know how you are feeling. My husband just did the same thing to me. I am having the same feelings. I have found it is hard look in the mirror...but I also realize that I deserve better than what I had,,, SO DO YOU!!! My prayers are with you.Anne2000

Family Man-My heart goes out to you. I will be divorced in a month and although I feel it is right for me, I am and probably always will be disappointed in my H's choices. Don't let your wife's choices make you doubt yourself. You are a wonderful man and she like so many on these boards including my H are nuts!Get a good lawyer so your interests are protected. I am totally interested in these people who share lawyers. My STBX wanted to, yet he is totally out for himself so I got my own and she is awesome.Hang in there. This like everything else will get better with time.K

Thank you all; this board has been a lifeline for me during this crisis. It's helped shape, no, it has directed the information I've gotten, and provided the best support since I started lurking last Feb., bar none. This includes a Christian MC recommended by our Pastor, 2 IC's for me.In " The Language of Letting Go", M. Beattie describes the place I'm at as a bridge to a better place. It's a wonderful book. She also suggests to give thanks for being at a place that allows us to grow.. ( cool, but it comes w a hell of price..)For me,I find that thought appropriate for all of us, whether it's to a successfully restored marriage or learning to navigate from the beginning again on our own.I owe a debt here I'm not sure I can repay.Why they do ( WS ) what they do is a mystery, of course. I was a good husband, but you would have no idea by her actions..I'm learning she doesn't define who I am..God bless all of us.

{{{Family Man}}}It DOES get better and we get stronger, but it's a road that has its twists and turns and ups and downs. I look back at where I was a year ago (totally confused and lost) and where I am now, and I KNOW I'm better off, but it still hurts at times. From what I have learned in support groups, it is because of the loss of our dream, our ideals; and once we realize that, we can grow. Take care of yourself!Lori

Family Man,I just got off phone with stbx and he just told me that he can do whatever he wants and i have not right to know. He had an affair 2 years ago, while we were separated and calls it a post marital affair. But we are still married. Every time we talk he manages to slip in someting about the women in his life. UGGGHHH. He said he wants a divorce . So Im just waiting for the papers or phone call , like you recieved. Even though you know its coming, it is still hard to hear. But consider it a closer step on your journey of letting go. It was out of your hands, and Gods will. YOu have to accept that and move forward. That book seems interesting. I just finished reading, " Codependents NO more" I m going to look that one up. Each baby step towards your healing is a step in the right direction. NO matter how small the step. Hang in there.

So here you are... Hugz... FamilyMan...Cali