This will probably be my last post.<p>I go to court tomorrow for the final orders on my divorce. While it is difficult enough to prepare myself for this alone, my life has been complicated by me father having a heart attack on Easter Sunday. He was just released from the hospital today.<p>I also went to the doctor on Friday and was told that I had strep throat. I have almost no voice right now as a result.<p>I have been on these forumns off and on for 5 years. During that time I have gone through stages where I felt that I was able to offer advice, and others where I did not feeling I was capable. Well, after tomorrow, I will be divorced. It may have taken five years, but my STBX leaving and ending up having a physical affair has finally ended up destroying my marriage. I tried really hard for a very long time to make the marriage work, but was unable to be successful at this goal.<p>Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to blame this all on my STBX, because I know that I too have had more than my fair share of faults in the marriage. I just wish that I would have been able to overcome everything.<p>I wasn't. Therefore, I don't think that I am in any position to be able to offer any sound advice.<p>Thank you all for the support and assistance you have provided me over the years.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Empty Shell:
...I just wish that I would have been able to overcome everything.<p>I wasn't. Therefore, I don't think that I am in any position to be able to offer any sound advice.
<hr></blockquote><p>Don't sell yourself short. Your experiences make your advice valuable, even if you didn't somehow "save your marriage." Don't put so much emphasis on that; who knows what advice may be asked for in the future? <p>Good luck, and be well.

ES,
Hoping the best for you and your family.
God Bless!<p>Bob

I don't know you, so don't know if you're the H or the W, but it makes no difference I suppose. Sometimes try as we might, things just don't work out the way we plan. Since this is obviously quite painful for you, allow yourself some grieving time and then try to think of this as a new beginning instead of the end. My marriage is going to end soon and I have tried for a long time too. I don't feel like I have failed (even tho I'm sure in some respects one can look at it like that). I gave it my all, therefore I am not a failure and neither are you. Please do something to regain your confidence in yourself become the person you want to be. Regardless of how you feel now, start telling yourself, "I am not a failure". My H told me this am that "we" don't have a problem, but "I" (me) have a problem. Yes I sure do have a big one, a H who can't identify his faults but is an expert on mine. Yes, like you, I am to blame for our problems also, but not entirely. We are not failures, we just couldn't fix this. It takes 2 to make a marriage work. Actually it takes 3 I can't leave God out of this. But somethings are just not meant to be. Take care of yourself, you're the only you there is!

OH yes, and fill that empty shell with some pearls and come back and share with the rest of us!!

((((((((((Empty Shell))))))))))

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>. I just wish that I would have been able to overcome everything.<p>I wasn't. Therefore, I don't think that I am in any position to be able to offer any sound advice.<hr></blockquote><p>I believe I understand.<p>I most respectfully disagree.<p>It sounds to me like you could use a break ( from life..); some time to recoup and recharge.<p>Dan

Everyone needs a hiatus...
...make your's a short one.<p>Love and Prayers to you!<p>You are loved!<p>Jim/NSR

Hi ES<p>In the wayback times when I first came here too, you've given me some kind words of encouragement thru my he**. You have had a good affect on people you don't even know. I thank you and hope you do well from now on. God bless.

Well, it's finally over. I am now a divorced man.<p>I have tried to explain this to a few friends, and they don't really seem to understand but. . . While I do not mind getting divorced. . . .I DO mind getting divorced.<p>Hopefully this will make sense to some of you.<p>My marriage was damaged beyond repair it took both of us to screw it up, but now it is over. Time to regroup and figure out exactly where it is I go from here. . . I have some goals, some things I would like to do, but for now I will keep those to myself.<p>May each and every one of you find peace in your own lives, whether you remain married or not.<p>I may be back once in a while. I may even come back later today and post individual replies to those who responded to this thread, but for now, I just need to take a nap.<p>God Bless

Would that each of us could be perfect - that we could always do everything perfectly - but that isn't how life works. I know each and every person who has really worked on making changes in their lives could say many of the things you feel. <p>(((((((((((EmptyShell))))))))))))<p>I wish I could make things better for you. But I can't. However, I can wish and pray that life will be filled with more peace and joy than you feel today. <p>And I can hope that you will come back and visit with us as you move toward your new life. A life filled with something beautiful. With peace.