D-Day Oficially. About Time.. - 05/28/02 08:50 PM
Well, she's filed, I've counterfiled. <p>Whew.<p>While trading e-mails about visitation, this comes out. I'm not sure why I'm posting this, maybe looking for a little peace.<p> Of course, I've known about this guy for two years.<p>Me:<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I am attempting to negotiate with you, to find a solution we can both live with. The only reason I can see for your anger is that I have chosen to discuss rather than comply.
Where is the compromise from you? You are making demands, not participating in a discussion or attempting to find a mutual solution. You stated you were interested in what was best for the children, yet the above suggests it's about you? <p>As far as the focus being on me, I have been lied to, and lied to some more, and manipulated for years. I did everything I could think of to give you what you wanted, to let you know you were loved. I got stomped. I am not trying to be mean, or make things difficult, but work out a schedule with you. <p>
I'm not sure what "level of cooperation" I would be able to expect from someone who believes in dating others during marriage. Repeatedly. This is not "bending over backwards", this is about, and has usually been about, control. About hiding your real agenda and attempting to position me to comply with your demands without complaint or discussion. <p>
I will not comply with your demands. I will participate in discussions about mutual solutions that work for the family.[\Quote]<p>Her Response:<p>[Quote]Hope you feel good after "venting" Dan-No matter what you say to me, I can finally look myself in the mirror and know that I an true to myself and to God now. I am not lying anymore to myself or you and never want to do that again....
I also do not think that your father's house is a good place for the kids to stay over night for any length of time and I will talk to my attorney about that.
The visitation schedule, as it stands, is all you- Nothing that I wanted entered in to it. It was a compromise on my part 100%.
As for "lying during our marriage" I say- What marriage? The marriage where you were non-participatory except to tell me when I was doing something you didn't like.
You made my life hell for the past ten years with your anger and insecurities when I didn't deserve that. You wanted to control me and the only way you could was to be angry and have me follow you around like a puppy dog saying "what did I do now? Please tell me why you are mad Dan". You had issues with anger and never addressed your issues.
I hope for your sake you don't remain angry for the rest of your life Dan. Life is to short and precious.
With Pxxx, I finally found someone who I can laugh with and it's all "easy". Nothing is difficult with him. That is why we hang together-Pure and simple. It's just easy. I am allowed to be who I am. It's just easy.
I begged you for that for years...and I mean years. So I don't want to hear it. You alone had the power to make our marriage work. I told you Pxxx and I are great friends and thank God I have him. I need good friends, especially now.<hr></blockquote><p>Whew. I really loved her. Still do. Where does this come from? <p> Non - participatory? Angry? I made my share of mistakes, but I don't get this... it doesn't desrcibe ME!<p> I am ,and loved being, a Family Man. I cooked, cleaned, laundried and loved. Throughout.<p>Anyway, thanks to all for support during a very tough year.<p>Dan<p>[ May 28, 2002: Message edited by: Family Man ]</p>
Where is the compromise from you? You are making demands, not participating in a discussion or attempting to find a mutual solution. You stated you were interested in what was best for the children, yet the above suggests it's about you? <p>As far as the focus being on me, I have been lied to, and lied to some more, and manipulated for years. I did everything I could think of to give you what you wanted, to let you know you were loved. I got stomped. I am not trying to be mean, or make things difficult, but work out a schedule with you. <p>
I'm not sure what "level of cooperation" I would be able to expect from someone who believes in dating others during marriage. Repeatedly. This is not "bending over backwards", this is about, and has usually been about, control. About hiding your real agenda and attempting to position me to comply with your demands without complaint or discussion. <p>
I will not comply with your demands. I will participate in discussions about mutual solutions that work for the family.[\Quote]<p>Her Response:<p>[Quote]Hope you feel good after "venting" Dan-No matter what you say to me, I can finally look myself in the mirror and know that I an true to myself and to God now. I am not lying anymore to myself or you and never want to do that again....
I also do not think that your father's house is a good place for the kids to stay over night for any length of time and I will talk to my attorney about that.
The visitation schedule, as it stands, is all you- Nothing that I wanted entered in to it. It was a compromise on my part 100%.
As for "lying during our marriage" I say- What marriage? The marriage where you were non-participatory except to tell me when I was doing something you didn't like.
You made my life hell for the past ten years with your anger and insecurities when I didn't deserve that. You wanted to control me and the only way you could was to be angry and have me follow you around like a puppy dog saying "what did I do now? Please tell me why you are mad Dan". You had issues with anger and never addressed your issues.
I hope for your sake you don't remain angry for the rest of your life Dan. Life is to short and precious.
With Pxxx, I finally found someone who I can laugh with and it's all "easy". Nothing is difficult with him. That is why we hang together-Pure and simple. It's just easy. I am allowed to be who I am. It's just easy.
I begged you for that for years...and I mean years. So I don't want to hear it. You alone had the power to make our marriage work. I told you Pxxx and I are great friends and thank God I have him. I need good friends, especially now.<hr></blockquote><p>Whew. I really loved her. Still do. Where does this come from? <p> Non - participatory? Angry? I made my share of mistakes, but I don't get this... it doesn't desrcibe ME!<p> I am ,and loved being, a Family Man. I cooked, cleaned, laundried and loved. Throughout.<p>Anyway, thanks to all for support during a very tough year.<p>Dan<p>[ May 28, 2002: Message edited by: Family Man ]</p>