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Posted By: Wished I WereHome Divorce Busting - 11/11/03 09:02 PM
Does anyone have any input on MWD's 180
I have been seperated from W for over 2 months and my W shows no interest in letting me return.(I was asked to leave due to Children although she wants out of marriage).
We are able to get along fine as long as I don't indicate that I am trying to save our marriage.
Is this just making it easier because I am giving her what she wants(D) or can there be a good outcome from a 180?
Posted By: carolkh Re: Divorce Busting - 11/12/03 01:22 AM
It worked great for me! I was the queen of 180's, LOL. And H wanted a divorce and HATED me when he left. Of course it took 1 1/2 yrs to get him to WAKE up! BTW, he has been home over 2 yrs now and we are doing great. Here is a link to my saga. Maybe you will get some ideas.

Carol

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=014880#000002
Posted By: Wished I WereHome Re: Divorce Busting - 11/12/03 05:17 PM
WOW!
I don't think I could go to some of those extremes but you give a lot of hope to someone who is also looking at a sink or swim situation.
I have not gone too far yet but have started. I too plan on keeping a diary (Well "Journal" a diary doesn't sound right for a guy) mostly to be able to keep track of what works and what doesn't.
My W is very uncomfortable being around me and sometimes can't even look at me. The place that I am staying (relatives spare room) is very difficult for me to take the kids for a weekend so I have been home with them when I can. She sometimes goes out to do things but we all do a lot of things together.
This past weekend she mentioned selling our house so we could each afford our own place. I know that this is in part to give me a place that the kids can stay with me.
Anything like this makes everything sound so permanent to me that it brings out all the bad feelings and LB's from me. I even mentioned that I would rather just be home.
After a chance to think about it, I did decide to use a different approach. The next time I saw her I hinted that I was looking into apartments. "A Batchelor Pad" as I put it. I don't expect miracles but I did get a positive response. She immediately loosened up, cheered up and started talking with me. In part I still feel that she was just happy to hear I was moving more in the direction that she wanted, but at the same time she got to see that I am more willing to move on with my life. After all, if things do keep going in her direction, I will need to move on anyway.
Posted By: Wished I WereHome Re: Divorce Busting - 11/16/03 08:29 PM
Never enough. Still getting complaints that I'm not moving fast enough to get my own place. I can't win <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
Posted By: TJGirl Re: Divorce Busting - 11/17/03 03:35 AM
Carol,
Your determination was wonderful. My h didn't give me a chance to do any of those things. Before I knew he was leaving, back when we both still loved each other I did work on myself. I lost weight and was exercising. 5'3" appx 125 lbs., I had a good attitude and was determined to be a happy person. When he left it was never an option to work on things, he moved away shortly after with OW. Its hard to 180 when he is long gone. I've 180'ed maybe his mom is telling him??
Good Luck, you deserve the best.
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