DivorceCare......any experiences? - Marriage Builders® Forums

I'm considering attending a divorce support program being offered in my area called DivorceCare. The website explains that each session of the program involves watching some videotapes and followed by group discussion. I'd appreciate feedback from anyone that has had experience with the program.

HoFS

I think any support group is good.
However, the mix of people in a group really determines what you might get out of it.
Although I can't go to my DSG any longer, it is warm & fuzzy.
A DivorceCare group in my area and another DSG were populated with Angry Exes, which really skewed the experience.
It's definitely worth a try, and in my area DC has child care and some programs for children (like Rainbows).

Hope yours is more organized than ours was. No vids here - just people who got together, had food, and the first one was mostly people complaining about their former spouses... UGH

I think by the seventh meeting - there were more 'couples' than divorced singles... LOL

Jan

Like Newly said, it depends on the group.

Try it and determine for yourself.

STBXW went to support group and found herself with a bunch of BW's on the recieving end of D.

She said it gave her an idea of how I felt, imagine that!

HofFenceSitter,

I was in it and even a few time as facilitator the support group at my church.

I could tell you my experience. We watch the video (13 tapes) which are very good. It goes to the core issues of us and gives us a lot to think about. Many participant are repeat participant ... not b/c of the tape but b/c of the support group.

Then support group. We break into small group of max 8 people. We talked about the video and what it means to us or we could talk about our issues and let other give 2¢. We have each about 7-10 minutes thne goes to the next person. If you get a very experience facilitator you will reap a tremendous benefit. Most of my group is past beyond anger and the angry one got help to move pass it.

We has helped a guy to patch his M and one BS to fight for her M.

Check it out ... if you live in my area ... go to my church. The relationship pastor is pro-M and start using MB ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

-rh-

[ January 07, 2004, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]

My Church is starting one up next week that I plan on attending.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I think by the seventh meeting - there were more 'couples' than divorced singles... LOL <hr /></blockquote>ROFL! That is too funny. I remember seeing a posting for a church Divorce Care group I was going to attend and they had a written statement saying you couldn't "date" anyone for the duration of the class.

Thanks for the input. So it looks like 4 votes encouraging me to attend and 1 vote telling me to go but watch my, errrr, back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I usually end up feeling that if I attend something like this, I need to be committed to it through the end of the program, even if I find it's not for me. I need to work on that attitude a bit. I'm glad this will be close to home (no where near you though RH. LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) and I have kid sitting arrangements taken care of for this evening.

Thanks again for the input. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

HoFS

I have to laugh about the couples comment.
My DSG is more of a free flowing group, just a short discussion at the beginning.
After two years, I only know of two couples who "got together". Amazingly, these people really do belong together and may have never met without the DSG. And, they were all beyond the anger point, and were really open & honest, which is why they were attracted to each other. But neither couple is married yet.
One older gentleman who never had children in his marriage, will now experience the birth of a "grandchild". Not his own, but his partners. I'm sure this is an experience he was meant to have.

My support group helped in giving me the male perspective on things. I have a very good friend from the group who helped with the man tasks around my old house, although we are dating compatible. I found a great friend in this person, and really value his views. And my girls see him as a friend, and have met his children too.
I strongly recommend support groups, and counseling.
Good Luck.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Eduard:
I remember seeing a posting for a church Divorce Care group I was going to attend and they had a written statement saying you couldn't "date" anyone for the duration of the class. <hr /></blockquote>It got me into trouble w/ my pastor <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ... I was going out w/ one of the member.

hfs ... whatch out on that one too. LOL!. Let us know how does it go for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-rh-

Yeah RH,

I didn't include the "you cannot date the teachers" clause that was in there too. If I remember right, everyone had to sign a form saying they would not date too!

DivorceCare is a great series. My wife and I were facilitators for the program at our church in Tucson, AZ. It's definately worth the time just for the videos. How much you get out of the small groups will depend a lot on the facilitators and how good a job they do.

We recently attended the marriage of a couple that met at the first series we led back in the fall of 1999 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> So, it does happen.

My advice: If you are not content being single and feel or think you *need* to be married, you are probably not ready.

Tom

[ January 07, 2004, 05:40 PM: Message edited by: ZAPFT ]

Divorcecare is a wonderful program with great videos. The group I belong to in Houston started 3 years ago and is very well organized. The group members started meeting afterwards at IHOP. Those IHOP meetings has lead to other social activities which includes a bowling team, movie nights and even camping trips. It took one member asking if anyone wanted to get a cup of coffee that first night and has lead to life long friendships being forged. Rhonda

Hi, I have been thru the group called "Divorce Care". I found it helpful, you first watch a video, then you discuss in a smaller group. It helped hearing other peoples stories. Everything said is confidential. I went one week after I found out my WH met another woman and moved in with her 3 days later. So I sat and bawled at the first meeting. They were all real supportive. Give it a try.

Cheryl